How have you gotten past an ''all or nothing'' mindset?

xstephnz
xstephnz Posts: 278 Member
in Motivation and Support
It's something I've struggled with forever. Either I do something perfectly, or I don't do it at all... so mostly I don't get anything done.

-It's giving up on your diet by Tuesday because you didn't do perfectly on Monday
-Eating the whole pizza because you accidentily had two pieces
-Restarting your life goals over and over because you didn't do everything exactly right
-Always waiting until a Monday to start something

Replies

  • CherryChan81
    CherryChan81 Posts: 264 Member
    i have not... :'(
  • aam117
    aam117 Posts: 284 Member
    That's something I have to work on too. I have a theory that if I pick one thing, something small, to start with and force myself to stick with it or get back on the wagon after a slip, maybe I will be able to do that with more things and eventually the big or important things. Also, learning to not beat myself up when I fall short hasn't been easy, but I am getting better at it.
  • malovafarms
    malovafarms Posts: 78 Member
    yep I know this battle :) I constantly have to be gentle to myself even if one week Im visiting the gym all week and the next the fridge...the logging through all of it puts things in perspective and creates the first step of awareness for me .. your not alone ! keep trekking through all our patterns
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    ever take a test in school? did you not know one of the answers? did you just stop right there and throw out the test and flip off the teacher and leave the classroom??

    no, i'm sure you didn't.

    not saying that it won't take some practice and self-analization, but you need to remember that one slice of pizza doesn't mean you have to eat the whole pie. that wednesday afternoon is a perfect time to try a new workout program, and that goals are meant to change as we change.
  • xstephnz
    xstephnz Posts: 278 Member
    Capt_Apollo wrote: »
    ever take a test in school? did you not know one of the answers? did you just stop right there and throw out the test and flip off the teacher and leave the classroom??

    no, i'm sure you didn't.

    lol good point
  • SquidUmpire
    SquidUmpire Posts: 6
    This is my entire life right here...I've found that writing the goals down and keeping them in a place you'll see them and putting a time limit on it is pretty effective...YMMV
  • ammo7
    ammo7 Posts: 188 Member
    I think something that helps me to be healthy is to focus on each decision I make. When I choose what to eat, choose something healthy. When I have the option to snack on a bunch of things I don't really need to eat, choose to walk away.

    By simply focusing on making each choice a good choice, I feel like it's easier to succeed. Also, if you "accidentally" make a bad choice (don't do that - make choices on purpose) then you don't have to wait until Monday to start over again, because every choice is a new opportunity to do the right thing.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    you know, earlier this week, friday i think, i just couldn't control myself and i wanted some sugar. i stopped on my way to work to dunkin donuts to get a latte, and i couldn't control my mouth because all of a sudden i had ordered a Cronut. it was delicious. it threw off my days' calories, but i didn't just decide to eat bad the whole day because i caved into one craving. in fact, i forced myself to stick to my original meal plan because of it.
  • xstephnz
    xstephnz Posts: 278 Member
    @Capt_Apollo did you really write for the oatmeal? that's impressive! do you write for them regularly, or was it a one off?

  • deviantcupcake
    deviantcupcake Posts: 136 Member
    Capt_Apollo wrote: »
    ever take a test in school? did you not know one of the answers? did you just stop right there and throw out the test and flip off the teacher and leave the classroom??

    Only once. I didn't flip anyone off but did walk out of a stats exam. Never was any good at maths.

    But back to the point - not berating myself for slipping up or not doing something perfectly is a daily struggle. I have to keep reminding myself that it's not the end of the world. I can keep the rest of my day on track if I've slipped up and eaten an entire 200g bag of crisps. I can compensate by having something low calorie later, or just write it off as a mistake but keep the rest of my day on track.

    Exercise is where I struggle the most. If I can't perform an exercise perfectly or do as many reps as I feel I should, I have to tell myself that I can do better tomorrow. Also that I haven't failed, because at least I'm trying.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    xstephnz wrote: »
    @Capt_Apollo did you really write for the oatmeal? that's impressive! do you write for them regularly, or was it a one off?

    I have never written for the oatmeal. I wrote for a different website, brokeboredandlazy.com
  • xstephnz
    xstephnz Posts: 278 Member
    Capt_Apollo wrote: »
    xstephnz wrote: »
    @Capt_Apollo did you really write for the oatmeal? that's impressive! do you write for them regularly, or was it a one off?

    I have never written for the oatmeal. I wrote for a different website, brokeboredandlazy.com

    On your profile, you linked to an article from the oatmeal, I just assumed it was yours. It was about running marathons or something.
  • Magenta529
    Magenta529 Posts: 100 Member
    I'm struggling with this majorly right now! Part of the reason I struggle is because if I give in to a craving or make a mistake it then increases my cravings! It's so easy when I'm in all or nothing mode, but getting into that mode after the newness, excitement and resolve has worn off is almost impossible. I am lookig to find a new way, and still realizing if i screw up, I don't need to continue to screw up! Good luck, hope you (and I) find a way through this!
  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
    I set a low and achievable bar, which means it's easy to surpass it. For working out, when I started, my only goal was doing something - anything - every day for 30 minutes. That could be walking. And I just try my best.

    With food, it's looking at it analytically to see why you overate. Which foods did it? Did waiting too long between meals set you up for a binge? Is the calorie target too low? Not enough protein? MFP is good at that kind of troubleshooting, if you don't know how to approach it, yourself.
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
    Because being good enough is good enough

    and a single failure doesn't have to be total failure - so you ate that third slice of pizza, why eat the whole box? So you had a bad meal, stop now, why have a bad day. So you had a bad day log it and move on and recommit

    it's time that matters - committing over time, living your life and making it work

    No bad foods - if you want pizza and chocolate you can have it - work it into your week

    if you fail momentarily - feck it! log it .. move on
  • Lizzy622
    Lizzy622 Posts: 3,705 Member
    By being stubborn. That pizza (cake, cupcake, cookie, potato chip) is NOT going to derail me. I am in this for a healthier me. This is my end goal and one missed workout or extra slice of pizza cannot keep me from that. BE STUBBORN!!!
  • rebekahzinn1
    rebekahzinn1 Posts: 65 Member
    I find Dr. Judith Beck's books very helpful for this. She teaches you how to change your thought patterns and tackle these exact ones.
  • dawnna76
    dawnna76 Posts: 987 Member
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    Because being good enough is good enough

    and a single failure doesn't have to be total failure - so you ate that third slice of pizza, why eat the whole box? So you had a bad meal, stop now, why have a bad day. So you had a bad day log it and move on and recommit

    it's time that matters - committing over time, living your life and making it work

    No bad foods - if you want pizza and chocolate you can have it - work it into your week

    if you fail momentarily - feck it! log it .. move on

    this. I need to live the rest of my life not in fear of what i eat derailing the long term destination. As long as induldging isnt a daily thing its not going to hurt you in the long run. I set out to lose weight slowly and in two years i have dropeed 60 pounds. i did that all the while eating pizza and burgers and cakes. and living in the moments and celebrations of life.

    the only failure is giving up.

  • Lizjim2
    Lizjim2 Posts: 4 Member
    edited March 2015
    This is a huge problem of mine. I tend to give up on my fitness goals as soon as I mess up or I get very discouraged and instead of getting back on track I just give in to my weakness. I end up eating even more junk and have a screw it attitude. This is a major struggle of mine. I am currently working on this and allowing myself to have slip ups because at the end of the day, I am human and I can't be perfect. This app and the Stickk app have kept me on track this week so I'm hopeful.
  • Aine8046
    Aine8046 Posts: 2,122 Member
    edited March 2015
    rabbitjb wrote: »
    Because being good enough is good enough
    This. I learned it the hard way. Was so demanding to myself and others. Finally learned to stop and let it go just because I had sooo much on my plate (family and work obligations) and could not do everything the way I wanted. Same with weight loss and healthy lifestyle. No one can be perfect and it's only up to you where to draw the line. Learn to be forgiving and make peace with yourself.
  • FoodFitnessTravel
    FoodFitnessTravel Posts: 294 Member
    that's literally my biggest problem
  • chelsspark
    chelsspark Posts: 5 Member
    This gets me every time!!
  • Boganella
    Boganella Posts: 42 Member
    r115dxpja89o.jpg

    This little quote helped me break that mindset
  • angier321
    angier321 Posts: 45 Member
    I've struggled with this for years. On my 13th day in here, and a couple days ago I had a bad craving for some junk (was having that craving for a few days). So on the way home from work, I decided I'd get something I was craving and be ok with it. It was kind of a revelation for me-I ate the junk, got the craving out of my system for now, and just moved forward from there. ALWAYS in the past something like that would totally throw me off my plan, but I decided I was ok with it and moved on. How the he## did that happen?!?!

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