Lumpy Space Princess' OneYeariversary, 100+ gone, Onederland, and lotsa tummy pics!

Hi guys!

I'm so excited to be posting here. I'm very proud of myself for finally facing the reality of my situation and realizing I could no longer pretend and turn a blind eye to my weight and health. I took responsibility for what I had done and realised it was up to ME to get what I wanted out of life, and it had to start with my weight.

At 5'7", I started at about 304 and am now 198, went from a size 26+ to 14/16. I still have about 50 lbs to go and I'll be there before I know it.

After moving to Australia over 8 years ago I slowly felt depression creep up on me. I have always had some issues with my weight, which was really a symptom of living in an emotionally abusive environment in which I was berated and picked on and publicly shamed for everything you could imagine. I didn't know what it felt like to just be happy with myself....my body and my life was always about what other people wanted. I resisted weight loss because I didn't want to please these negative oppressive people in my life. I had previously lost about 70lbs in a very unhealthy way before my move, then it all crept back on as it does when you don't make good, healthy, sustainable life changes. I was desperately homesick, and stopped enjoying all the things I used to love. I withdrew from others. I went from about 170 lbs to 300+.

I felt trapped. I wanted to go back home. Not because of Australia, but because I felt in my heart that I belonged back in the US. I was in a long relationship with a guy who did not want to move to America with me. So I felt like I just had to try my best to get on with life. The relationship eventually ended badly as I became more and more miserable and we both grew apart. This was my chance. The sadness and misery I felt was only alleviated by the fact that NOW I could go back home. That changed EVERYTHING.

I got back onto MFP, I found workouts that I enjoyed (started off with Richard Simmons Sweatin To The Oldies and still do his workouts to this day on my light workout days). I changed my eating, but still make sure to have chocolate every day. I work for my chocolate! But it was weight lifting that really made me blossom. I started ChaLEAN Extreme almost a year ago and the improvements it has made to my body AND my mind is something I could never have imagined. I would not give it up or ever stop for the world. Lifting makes me feel powerful, capable, and gives me a feeling of belonging.

Along the way I found it incredibly helpful and comforting to see others' progress photos and read their stories. Especially when dealing with the consequences of extreme weight gain/loss (ie loose skin). So I want to share with you guys some pictures that make me cringe a bit, lol, so you can see what you might be able to expect. I firmly believe that you need to accept yourself NOW, just as you are, to be able to accept yourself as you lose weight. I used to spend hours upon hours despairing over my body, mourning the loss of the "perfect figure" I'd never have unless I get surgery. Etc. Now I realise I'm still a work in progress, I love and accept my body and forgive myself for dealing with things by turning to food. I like to call myself Lumpy Space Princess

Tummy in various views and to show you the texture of the stretchmarks and fat. The last photo makes me cringe the most but I know it will improve as the fat empties out more