Ladies who lift heavy, I have some questions for all of you.

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Hi Ladies,

My wife has decided that she wants to start lifting. After years of being afraid to do a lifting program, she's finally convinced that it will be the best way to go. We have our own power rack, and I already lift. I've gotten a 6 foot 15 lbs. oly bar to help her on her way along with fractional weights.

Onto the questions:

1) Which program do you love and why? She's going to be starting with low weights and she's inexperienced. I usually recommend SL 5X5 for beginners because it will build up enough strength to start doing other things if desired. But all of you experienced ladies who've tried various things, might be able to point out a bunch of things to me that are better. Physically, she is hyper-mobile without the strength to protect her joints from dislocating. Because of that, she's not allowed to do yoga (doctors orders). Her goals are to get stronger, but also to trim down and get a fit physique. Plus, she likes the idea of spending a couple extra hours with me during the week, so a big win for me :smile:

2) What weight increments have all of you found useful for going up? I was thinking that for squats and deadlifts, she should start with our 7' oly and go up the normal 5 lbs. for squats and 10 lbs. for deads, like the SL program would do; but for bench, overhead, and bent rows I was thinking 2 or 2.5 lbs increments. I also figured that for the upper body, I would start her with just the 15 lbs bar and have her increment from there so she can work on her form for a while. What do you all think?

3) Did you ladies have problems starting with the 45 lb bar with squats and deads? Would you've preferred starting lighter and going slower?

4) She's concerned about getting tired and not being able to fulfill her daily tasks. How has it affected all of your energy levels?

5) What specific advice would you have for her? Any words on keeping motivation up?

6) What has been the best thing for you since starting heavy lifting?

7) What resource would you have loved pointed out to you in the beginning?

8) What advice would you give me to help support her during her entry into lifting heavy?

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As an aside, she will never join a forum like this. That's why I'm asking and will share with her everything that you all recommend.

Thanks!!
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Replies

  • ythannah
    ythannah Posts: 4,365 Member
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    Not a "heavy" lifter yet by any means, but I'll chime in...

    1) I like the All Pro Beginner program the best because it doesn't have the aggressive progression of some other programs like 5X5. But I'm middle-aged with a wonky knee. Your wife's mileage may vary depending on her age and physical condition -- I was menopausal when I started.

    2) I mostly increase by 5 lb increments. I do some arm accessory work and those go up in 2 lb increments.

    3) I started with a 10 lb bar. That was largely because I didn't want to invest a lot of money in equipment since I didn't know if I was going to stick with lifting or not and that was the cheapest I could find -- I've upgraded since then. However, I could not have squatted a 45 lb bar at the beginning (see "wonky knee").

    4) No effect on energy at all, good or bad.

    5) Be patient, stick with it, and the results will be motivating. My main concern was increasing bone density and maintaining muscle mass, but the positive changes in my physical appearance are pretty amazing.

    6) Finding a time of day to work out where I will stick with it. That turned out to be first thing in the morning. I have the most energy then, it was too easy to find excuses to skip out in the evenings.

    7) MFP has been my main resource. And youtube videos for form.

    8) See #5. Like I said, I'm not even lifting very heavy at this point (shoulder injury cancelled my upper body lifting for about 5 months) and I have visible results. However, I started out fairly lean, probably around 18% BF.
  • DancingMoosie
    DancingMoosie Posts: 8,613 Member
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    1&2. I did Stronglifts 5x5. I found 10lb increments ok on deadlifts, until you get close to your 1 rep max, then 5lb plates are really helpful. With bench and OHP, 2.5lb plates are really helpful. Squats, 5s are ok to start with, then 2.5lb. So, yes, I would recommend having the smaller plates.
    3. I have no problem starting with the 45lb bar, even for bench. My bench 1 rep max, just first day testing, was 90 or 95lb. I did 135lb on deads my first day, too.
    4. I have more energy when working out. I especially like lifting first thing, before my legs get tired:)
    5. The program makes it seem like you need to increase every workout. Be ok with staying at a certain level until completely comfortable with the weight.
    6. I feel like I get to eat more:) It takes some trial and error to see what, nutritionally, works for your body. I found that 1/2 a protein shake with a protein bar, after a lifting session, works well for me, and I can make it to lunch without a headache.
    7. First thing: A power lifting coach and the Stronglifts website.
    8. Be a good spotter, cheer leader, and watch her form. Having good form helps prevent injuries, and it is hard to watch your own form.
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,967 Member
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    1. Strong lifts
    2. 11/4 lb
    3. Nope. Only on the overhead press I couldn't start with 45lbs
    4. No did not get tired at all

  • kelly_e_montana
    kelly_e_montana Posts: 1,999 Member
    edited February 2015
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    Really a lot of this depends on how strong she is naturally and what she was doing before free weights.

    1). I started with Wendler 5/3/1 and Crossfit. I still use Wendler 5/3/1 because I still do Crossfit and it's appropriate volume for me when combined with other stuff.
    2) I've gone up 10 pounds on most lower body stuff and 5 lbs on most upper body stuff.
    3) I started at 95# on bench, 125# on squats and 200# on deads. That's why I say it depends on how strong she is naturally. My squat was limited when I started not by strength but by mobility. I got to 200# in two months.
    4) I don't have any problems with it affecting my energy levels except on days I have large yard projects like moving a bunch of rocks or shoveling two cubic tons of dirt. It has to be something big for it to affect my daily energy.
    5) Form, form, form and eat to fuel your workouts.
    6) Learning to focus on what my body can do and to let it evolve into a good body comp for me rather than worrying about an arbitrary number on a scale.
    7) Learning the importance of breathing and core stability in heavy lifting! Incorporate core strengthening; learn valsalva maneuver.
    8) Have her connect with other FEMALE lifters who have been successful. Having a female mentor can be a huge motivational factor for a woman. It can even be an MFP mentor!
  • lisalsd1
    lisalsd1 Posts: 1,521 Member
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    1. New rules, 5x5, now on 5/3/1
    2. Usually 5lbs upper body, 10lbs lower body
    3. Started squats with 45lb empty bar, started deads at 65lbs; in all fairness, I has been using dumb bells/machines for a few months before I started using a bar
    4. More energy (and I'm a stay at home mom with a 2 and 4 year old when starting)
    5. Eat a lot of protein
    6. Look better, stronger, don't have to spend so much time running, can eat more
    7. T-nation
    8. Don't be annoying and point out flaws; I workout with my husband and we have a much better time when he is positive
  • tauny78
    tauny78 Posts: 180 Member
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    I love "New Rules of lifting for Women". It has a lot of information and describes.the.lifts really well IMO. I had no problems starting with the 45 lb bar, but I also wasn't new to the gym. As for having energy for my normal day, I've found that my workouts actually boost my energy levels . I love seeing myself get stronger . The best advice I can give is to go slow, but not to be afraid to add weight. Work on form and once form is good the strength will follow. It's a shame she won't join a forum or group, there are a lot of ladies that lift on here. Good luck!
  • Springfield1970
    Springfield1970 Posts: 1,945 Member
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    It's better if you get her to research things herself, i fear if you are her coach, she may end up being reliant on your advice and not 'own it'.

    Is she a member here?
  • auddii
    auddii Posts: 15,357 Member
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    1. I love stronglifts because everything was very basic, and there were only 5 lifts to learn.
    2. I followed increases as written until I couldn't, then I started using fractionals.
    3. I started with the bar for everything except deads, which I started at 65lbs. I did take a strength training class in college (although none of the same lifts except bench), and did some machines off and on in the years before starting strong lifts.
    4. I find I have more energy, but I'm often hungrier. Finding the balance of feeling satiated and not over eating might be a task for her.
    5. Nothing specific, but definitely get started. I LOVE LIFTING!
    6. Best is how strong I feel. I definitely feel like a badass after a lifting session. I also love how I look while lifting and losing weight (I feel like I'm able to preserve my muscle mass, and my shape is changing and not just getting smaller).
    7. I started lifting right before this was written, and I wish I had access to this series earlier:http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2013/02/28/strength-training-101/
    8. Not really sure. I've found inner strength through lifting. Encourage her to lift consistently, help her with form (and if you're unsure, video her and get some form critique from more experienced lifters), and don't baby her.
  • 3laine75
    3laine75 Posts: 3,070 Member
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    1. I used Starting Strength first (I did try Stronglifts first but I had real form issues with squats)

    2. The increments you mentioned are what I used 2.5 kg upper body and 5 kg lower body.

    3. I had big issues starting with the bar on squats (I had to start with a broomstick). I also had a lighter bar for OHP.

    4. After a couple of weeks of DOMS, she should be feeling fantastic. I have much more energy, am happier and just general feel amazing since taking it up (2 years in now).

    5. No specific advice, she will either love it or she won't.

    6. There's too many best things to list but I'm happier, healthier, fitter and stronger than I have ever been. Oh and MOAR FOODZ!! :smiley:

    7. Starting Strength - the months I spent trying to do a squat, getting annoyed with everyone who couldn't tell me where I was going wrong (and just finding me silly, I think)

    8. Just make sure her form is spot on before progressing up the weight. Also, bear in mind that because you love it (and we love it) doesn't mean she will. I think enjoying what you're doing is the most important thing, exercise wise. So don't be disappointed if she gives it up - I've lost my mum to 'pump' class :(
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    1.) Program- I've never run a beginner program. But any of them are fine. Starting strength, strong lifts, new rules of lifting (I hear that one is a good book- good read for people who like details-but more equipment- and takes more time- more accessories lifts)
    Any one that clicks with her is fine.

    2.) 2.5, 5 and 10- depends on the lift. I usually recommend jumping up by 5's for most people-but it has more to do with where they start- and how easy the lifts go up- if they go up easy- bigger jump- if it's hard- smaller jump. Don't over think it.

    3.) bar at 45 lbs- no - no issues- I've been doing heavy things for a while- as Elaine pointed out- a broom stick is often helpful for technique so the bar doesn't become the technique and the working weight- that's hard.

    4.) Being tired honestly shouldn't be an issue. I lift 3 times a week and attend dance class at least 4 days a week, and I work 3 jobs.

    5.) pick a program- go with it for at least 6 weeks.
  • lngrunert
    lngrunert Posts: 204 Member
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    1) I follow a 2x per week full body workout put together by my trainer. It's similar to this: http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/iovate5.htm. It just works better with my schedule and goals, especially since I don't have the equipment to lift "heavy" at home.

    2) What weight increments have all of you found useful for going up? I do well with 5lb increments. 10 is usually too much for me at a time, especially for upper body exercises (chest press, preacher curls, skullcrushers, etc.)

    3) I was able to start with just the bar an squats and deadlifts, but I'd been building up my strength and endurance with bodyweight exercises for two months prior. I still can't chest press an Olympic bar for three full sets though. I'm getting there by using dumbells in the meantime.

    4) I do find that I'm ready for bed earlier, but for me that's a good thing since I'm a night owl and usually don't get enough sleep. But during the day my energy level is fine, even better on some days.

    5) Don't get discouraged if you can only lift the bar or very low plates at first. I lift with my husband and at first it was discouraging how much more he can lift than me, not to mention some of the guys at the gym. You can only compare your progress to you, not anyone else.

    6) I feel so much stronger, and I'm just starting to see some muscle tone peeking out from beneath the fat layer (most specifically my delts). I also like knowing that what I'm doing will prevent health problems in the future as I age (I'm going to be 44 next week).

    7) Luckily I started out with an experienced trainer who showed me good form from the beginning so I didn't injure myself. I think that's the most important thing, no matter if yu get it from a trainer, youtube videos, or whatever.

    8) I would say don't expect her to fall in love with it straight away, and be empathetic if she finds it more of a chore than anything else. And if she decides that its just not for her (either right now or forever), don't make it seem like she's let you down or disappointed you.
  • Flissbo
    Flissbo Posts: 302 Member
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    Bump as some good info here, thanks everyone
  • Timorous_Beastie
    Timorous_Beastie Posts: 595 Member
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    The best advice I can give is have her take photos in as little as she's comfortable wearing (bikini, underwear, whatever) from every angle before she starts, then take another set in a month or so. Even if she doesn't enjoy lifting, she'll enjoy what it does to her shape.
  • punchgut
    punchgut Posts: 210 Member
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    Thanks for all the good information. I will pass it along.

    I agree that a community like this would be good for her during this journey, but her bandwidth is already full and she really doesn't want to spend any more time in front of a computer than she already does.

    Thank you for reminding me not to get discouraged if she quits, or doesn't enjoy it. It's a good reminder. Just to be clear, I never asked and I would never be disappointed. She's an adult and capable of making her own decisions. I like that about her :) I just want to make her journey as enjoyable as possible. Especially early on when she'll hate it the most.

    Again, thank you all.
  • punchgut
    punchgut Posts: 210 Member
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    I wanted to update everyone. My wife finally started lifting last week. Two lessons were learned: 1) The 45 lbs bar was too much for everything but deadlifts. 2) Five pound increments are too large for her.

    Luckily, I had purchased a six foot 15 lbs. training bar and fractional weights. We switched her to body weight squats plus a 5 lbs weight, then a 10 lbs. Next week she'll be on the bar for squats. We've determined that she can progress by 2.5 lbs a session. So that will be the progression for all but deadlifts which will go by 5 a session.

    Besides that, she was sore. Going from not using any of these muscles to using them made her bottom and shoulders a bit sore. We're focussing on form and slow progression while her body acclimates.

    Thanks for all your help!
  • janegalt37
    janegalt37 Posts: 270 Member
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    Thanks for the update - and yeay for sore bottoms! They turn into sexy backsides ;)
  • punchgut
    punchgut Posts: 210 Member
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    Quick question ladies:

    When my wife does body weight squats or squats while holding a 5 or 10 lbs plate her form is perfect, but the second we put the 15 lbs bar on her shoulders she suddenly bends entirely at the waist. Do you have any tips to help her out? I'm pretty sure this is a psychological/kinesthetic issue with suddenly having the weight/bar on her shoulders, but would love to hear you all sound off on this and solutions.

    Side note: This is not due to a flexibility issue. She's just bending at the waist and some knee, very little ankle--but not because she lacks ankle flexibility.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    Go back to a broom stick.

    More practice- and have her keep her chest open.
  • DirrtyH
    DirrtyH Posts: 664 Member
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    This may or may not help, I'm the furthest thing from an expert possible, but it helps me to focus consciously on pushing from my heels and not letting my weight tip to my toes. You can't drive through the heels if you're leaning too far forward.

    (Am I understanding the question correctly?)
  • punchgut
    punchgut Posts: 210 Member
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    trixieloo wrote: »
    This may or may not help, I'm the furthest thing from an expert possible, but it helps me to focus consciously on pushing from my heels and not letting my weight tip to my toes. You can't drive through the heels if you're leaning too far forward.

    (Am I understanding the question correctly?)


    Thank you for this. What a great kinesthetic feedback tool to use.