Horrible Breakup...am I overreacting?

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  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
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    You are not overreacting, she is being a total C word. The sooner you can get out the better. Move on and find yourself a new girl. Sorry for your situation. Viel Glück!
  • snickerscharlie
    snickerscharlie Posts: 8,578 Member
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    What a horrible situation for you! But honestly, from where I sit, it looks like you dodged a long term relationship disaster and the sooner you can move on, the better. Any person that would be as insensitive to your feelings as she is does not deserve you in her life.

    So unless you can find a friend's couch to camp out on for a few weeks, just cross of the days and know that there's something *much* better in your future.

    The loss is hers, not yours. <3
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,780 Member
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    she sounds awful.

    regardless of where you sleep, it is still your place too until you leave. it is completely disrespectful and just callous for her to bring home someone else, especially after specifically telling you she would not.

    congratulations on escaping a relationship with a horrible and thoughtless person.
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
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    That was definitely below the belt, whether it was intentional or not.
  • MommysLittleMeatball
    MommysLittleMeatball Posts: 2,064 Member
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    lishie_rebooted wrote: »
    likehlikeo wrote: »
    Thanks all! I really needed to hear it from someone else...as I really feel like losing my mind right now..."maybe I'm the crazy overly sensitive one??" <- this came to mind this morning while I walked my dog...I hope this is over soon and I can move into my own space...

    First time you called it your dog, not "our".
    I vote you take the dog with you and say "eff it".

    Sorry that this has happened to you.
    I was in a similar situation of having to live with an ex til I could find a new home, didn't have the last bit happen tho...
    It'll be over soon and you'll be a stronger person for it.

    This^ and
    wolverine66 wrote: »
    she sounds awful.

    regardless of where you sleep, it is still your place too until you leave. it is completely disrespectful and just callous for her to bring home someone else, especially after specifically telling you she would not.

    congratulations on escaping a relationship with a horrible and thoughtless person.

    This^

    You still live there and you should be entitled to have a simple enough ground rule as no new partners while the ex is still living there. From her actions she sounds like a real inconsiderate b!tch. Take the doggy and get out as soon as you can. Be happy to have rid yourself of someone like that. You are heartbroken now, but not forever. <3
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    Yes this is a crap situation but it is also her ex GF house too. So to say that something is not allowed in your own house because an ex is not ok with it. OP put yourself in your ex shoes.
  • likehlikeo
    likehlikeo Posts: 185 Member
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    Thanks for all the encouragement so far. I really appreciate it. @yopeeps025‌ yes, it is her place as well, and I accepted the fact that she found someone new, but sleeping with someone in the bed I bought with her, while I am the one sleeping on the couch next door was a bit much for me to be honest. I didn't plan to wait it out and stay there for the next year, blocking her love life for ages. There is a set point where I can move. I don't really understand why one cannot wait with f****** around for two more weeks...well...I'm emotional atm...
  • snickerscharlie
    snickerscharlie Posts: 8,578 Member
    edited March 2015
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    Of course you're emotional! I'd be worried about you if you weren't!

    Have you confronted her about this? Even if it doesn't change anything it might make you feel better for having gotten it off your chest. I can't imagine anyone being as insensitive as she is. If you find it difficult or uncomfortable to confront her with this, write her a letter, instead. Writing it down serves two purposes: 1. It gives you the ability to say *exactly* what you want without being interrupted, and without getting emotional. 2. It's cathartic - even if it doesn't change anything, giving written "voice" to your feelings validates them and will give you strength. <3
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
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    There's no use wasting emotion on what you have no control over. Move out and on as soon as it is feasible. Don't react in the interim.

    Ihre Mitbewohner klingen wie eine echte Schlampe.
  • 1Hunie
    1Hunie Posts: 176
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    I'm sorry you're dealing with this. She was waaaaay out of line bringing another person into the home you guys are still sharing!
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    Do they put a scarf on the doorknob in Germany, to warn the roommate of action inside? I understand this is an American tradition. You might want to put a scarf on the doorknob to warn your former girlfriend (and her bring-home friend) that she can't bring someone home that day.
  • likehlikeo
    likehlikeo Posts: 185 Member
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    Hi @snickerscharlie‌ yes, we talked after she hooked up for the first time and disappeared for the weekend, but not without sending me a totally unneccessary message at 4AM, waking me up, to tell me, that she will "stay the night somewhere else" and I should not worry...we talked after this weekend, when i stayed at home, feeding her damn cat (sorry for my focus on this kitty, but it sums it all up in a way) all weekend while she was with the new lady. Well, I told her, that I was hoping for a little bit more discretion and that I would really appreciate it, if she would not make me feel like a dumb idiot. She was the one laughing and saying that she would never ever be so cruel to bring her to our place.
    Well...we all know by now how this went...
    She also told me, that she knows how much of an *kitten* move this was and that she also knows, that she is hurting me big time, but that she needs to be egoistic and doing something for herself and that this is all not my agenda anymore, since we are not a couple anymore.
    this makes me so mad and shocked...it is, as if she became a totally other person. She always had her little ego tripping tendencies...but this...wow...
  • snickerscharlie
    snickerscharlie Posts: 8,578 Member
    edited March 2015
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    TheRoadDog wrote: »
    There's no use wasting emotion on what you have no control over. Move out and on as soon as it is feasible. Don't react in the interim.
    Sometimes women need to waste emotion on things in order to move past them completely. We're just wired differently. :)
  • deathbybunny
    deathbybunny Posts: 259 Member
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    @likehlikeo Ok, reading these details, I'm 100% convinced that this *kitten* situation was a blessing in disguise for you! Run as fast and far away as you can from her and never look back. Actually, you should thank her for showing her real self to you soon enough before you invested even more emotionally in this relationship.
  • mistikal13
    mistikal13 Posts: 1,457 Member
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    Sorry that you are going through this. I hope that nothing else like this happens before you are able to move out :( Hugs
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
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    snickerscharlie wrote: »
    TheRoadDog wrote: »
    There's no use wasting emotion on what you have no control over. Move out and on as soon as it is feasible. Don't react in the interim.
    Sometimes women need to waste emotion on things in order to move past them completely. We're just wired differently. :)

    I understand, but until you move on you are wasting time that can be better served to improve your life. Hanging on just puts your life on hold.

  • likehlikeo
    likehlikeo Posts: 185 Member
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    TheRoadDog wrote: »
    snickerscharlie wrote: »
    TheRoadDog wrote: »
    There's no use wasting emotion on what you have no control over. Move out and on as soon as it is feasible. Don't react in the interim.
    Sometimes women need to waste emotion on things in order to move past them completely. We're just wired differently. :)

    I understand, but until you move on you are wasting time that can be better served to improve your life. Hanging on just puts your life on hold.

    So true. I actually feel like my life is on stand by right now. I don't want that of course. I should really plan something nice for the weekend, going out and doing something with my hard earned time...
  • snickerscharlie
    snickerscharlie Posts: 8,578 Member
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    likehlikeo wrote: »
    She also told me, that she knows how much of an *kitten* move this was and that she also knows, that she is hurting me big time, but that she needs to be egoistic and doing something for herself and that this is all not my agenda anymore, since we are not a couple anymore.
    this makes me so mad and shocked...it is, as if she became a totally other person. She always had her little ego tripping tendencies...but this...wow...
    If she needs her freaking ego massaged that badly, tell her to do it elsewhere until you move out. It is *still* half your place until the end of the month!

    I can't imagine how awkward it must be to have the three of you there at the same time. Makes me wonder if the new girlfriend totally lacks morals and pride, too.

    Big hugs to you!

  • urloved33
    urloved33 Posts: 3,325 Member
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    Big big hugs to you. Not overreacting one bit. As for the whole situation consider this to be THE NEWBIES PROBLEM NOW. You are free, free, free,....in the long run you will be happier and healthier for it.
  • likehlikeo
    likehlikeo Posts: 185 Member
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    Yeah, I guess it ultimately is...I have to adjust to the new situation and really hope, that the last days will be over soon...pew...

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