people who don't say anything...

pjs2780
pjs2780 Posts: 41 Member
edited November 14 in Motivation and Support
so i've lost 50 pounds/28.5% of my starting weight. i feel awesome. i'm working with a trainer and pushing myself to be more fit so i feel like i am starting to look pretty awesome too. i have 2 really good friends (i'm in a wedding in a few months for one, the other one's son calls me something that translates to "mom's sister") who i see at least every month who have said NOTHING to me about my weight loss (i'm only 5 feet tall so it's pretty noticeable!) . this is in sharp contrast to comments that i get from...basically everyone else, especially in the past month.

i mean, maybe they are such good friends that they didn't notice how heavy i was (i sort of doubt this because it's not like it was subtle). i was bummed because i saw them a week ago and was so excited for them to see how healthy i've become and ... nothing.

part of me wants to say, "hey! look at me!" and then another part of me reminds me that i didn't do this so that people would comment, i did it so that i could be healthier.

but...i do want comments from the people that i love.

Replies

  • Ni_kki
    Ni_kki Posts: 50 Member
    pjs2780 wrote: »
    s
    part of me wants to say, "hey! look at me!" and then another part of me reminds me that i didn't do this so that people would comment, i did it so that i could be healthier.

    I was going to comment.. you should be doing this for yourself.. not anyone else. But you said that already your self.
  • kecmw25
    kecmw25 Posts: 2,743 Member
    You're doing great!! Congrats!

    I've been on both sides of this. I've been the person who noticed when someone has lost weight and not said anything because well, it just felt awkward and I wasn't sure what to say. I've also been disappointed when someone I haven't seen in a while didn't comment on my weight loss. I found that when I mentioned anything at all about dieting or exercising, the compliments come out. I think your friends noticed but maybe didn't know how to bring it up.
  • nic_ci
    nic_ci Posts: 110 Member
    Sometimes people feel like if they say something positive about your weight loss, then they are implying that you didn't look good before...it can be ackward.
  • kristen6350
    kristen6350 Posts: 1,094 Member
    Probably kinda abrupt, but I'll put this the way I had to learn it and I'm a "black and white" kinda gal. In no way am I'm being rude. Lately my "this is how it is" statements have been getting me in trouble when really I'm trying to help.

    Ok, here goes. No one cares about your weight loss as much as you. Everyone will be happy for you. They may even be jealous. Even the ones who are close to you will cheer you on, but they honestly don't care that much.

    I went through this when I lost 50lbs in 2012. I went from a size 16 to a size 4 and I'm 5'11. It was NOTICEABLE. No one said anything. I think one time my Mom might have mentioned my thighs were noticeably smaller, and she's my biggest cheerleader.

    After my big 50lbs off, I felt great, so great I thought "I had this". I didn't "Have" this. From Summer of 2012 to Winter of 2014 I gained 24lbs back. Because I didn't follow the same good habits that I had when I was losing. No one said a word. I went from a 4 to a 12. I felt defeated and shocked at the scale. I'm back, getting it off, a lb at a time. Now, my new goal is to get to 150 and stay there. At 150 I'm a size 6/8. And healthy. And I feel good. And that's why I'm doing this, so I FEEL GOOD. Because no one cares as much as me.
  • jett69
    jett69 Posts: 60 Member
    Of course you do. no joke, I'm an attention *kitten*. I want people to say, wow! you look amazing. I need it. I love me.
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