Hemming and hawing....internal dialogue

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urloved33
urloved33 Posts: 3,323 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
I was wondering if anyone else shared my particular struggle.

I have been going to the gym since my early twenties - I am now 55 years old - so going to the gym is not a new habit of mine. I generally go to the gym 5 times weekly, I take tues and thursday off as recovery days.

So here is my issue - each time I wake up and get ready to go to the gym I have a terrible internal dialogue - as if I were a spoiled child.

It goes like this "I don't want to go to the gym" "but its good for you and you love the gym..." "yeah but I don't want to go...why do I have to go" "you feel great after you go to the gym" "so what I can go tomorrow, whats one day away from the gym" etc

You get the picture.

I do this until I am in my car and then the internal dialogue changes to a more positve, encouraging one.

Let me explain further that I have always belonged to a gym with a pool, whirlpool, sauna and steam bath so.....

I do this same hemming and hawing every single time I get ready to go to the gym....I am so sick of it.

I roll out of bed and put music on to combat my thoughts...but they are still there.

So anyone else have an internal war going on and if so...how do you cope (or better yet gag the internal spoiled child lol)

Where does the resistance come from?

P.S. I have grown children that I raised in the gym with me and ...they loved the gyms I took them too (swimming, tae kwon do, parties, parents night out, summer camp etc etc) When I would say "Its time to leave for the gym guys" they were happy and expressive of that happiness every single time I took them there (which was 5 days weekly)

Replies

  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
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    maybe its an issues with a stale routine, try something new and shake it up a bit to find some new "attracition"
  • alpine1994
    alpine1994 Posts: 1,915 Member
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    Well, the impending physical exertion first thing in the morning is pretty normal to hem and haw about, but usually I'm pretty excited to beat my last power score in Spin or run an extra mile or something like that. Maybe having some specific fitness goals so that you're working towards something will help get you excited to go? When I am not training for something it's reeeeeally likely that I will talk myself out of working out!
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
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    I'm very lazy by nature, but I have grown accustomed to my workout routine that I am angry with myself for missing it for no good reason. So, while I don't necessarily love working out, I dislike having excess fat more. I get it done.
  • eros_bittersweet
    eros_bittersweet Posts: 9 Member
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    It seems like the main issue is the intrusive thoughts themselves. You are going to the gym, you have been going to the gym, you don't listen to the downer voice anyway. So why does the negative voice even need a response? What if you just let the comments drift by without a response as if they're overheard chatter?

  • suruda
    suruda Posts: 1,233 Member
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    Yes, that internal voice of ours isn't nice...sometimes I visualize it as the devil on one shoulder. I try and talk back to myself (inner voice only! ) and remind it that I never regret going to the gym! It's interesting that our inside voices want to be lazy isn't it? Why can't we hear "get up! go work out, you will not regret it!"?
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,575 Member
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    I used to do that every morning. So, I stopped working out in the morning. I finally faced the fact that I'm simply not a morning person and I never will be. I'm much more consistent now.
  • kazaargrandcru
    kazaargrandcru Posts: 152 Member
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    I do that as well on days when I'm just feeling a bit down. Yesterday was one of those and I almost skipped my workout entirely when, at 7:30pm I just said to myself "I love how happy & energized I feel after my workout is done". I got my butt off the couch and went for a run. My mood did a complete turnaround.
  • LJGettinSexy
    LJGettinSexy Posts: 223 Member
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    Honestly, you are not alone. I have the same issue with myself everyday. I've been a gym fanatic for almost 20 years and I'm 49. But everyday I have the same argument with myself. I think about how I dread going to the gym and then I convince myself that I need to go. And I can't understand why it's so hard for me to go. I, too, go 5-6 times per week, I've chosen classes that I love and don't want to miss, however, every single time it's time for me to go to the gym, I have the same argument within myself. But what convinces me to go is one thing my trainer said to me long ago, 'when you least feel like going to the gym, that's when you go'. I keep that in mind daily and it motivates me 98% of the time. The other 2%, you just need to lose the argument and its okay.
  • krdews
    krdews Posts: 124 Member
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    Not so much the same internal dialogue; but I'll share my experience as it is somewhat similar to yours. I've gone to the gym since my very early 20's and probably like you was considered a "gym rat" never had an issue going to the gym or any kind of workout running, tennis, bike, inline skating - I actually enjoy getting a good workout in everyday!. I'm now 51, soon to be 52 and things actually changed for me about 5 years ago. I always went to the gym in the early AM before work and often would run or bike in the evenings - then the AM workouts became a struggle, like you, once I got there I was glad I worked out etc; but was tired of the mental struggle of sitting on the side of bed and forcing myself through. Solution, I stopped going in the AM and switched to PM, I look forward to my workouts just as much now as I did then. BUT in hindsight what I realized changed me was menopause, yeah I said it! Menopause was interrupting my sleep pattern and drastically changed my energy levels, so I adjusted and am all the more happy I did.
  • TheEats
    TheEats Posts: 49 Member
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    I find that telling myself the decision is already made is the way to go. This goes for anything; coursework, food choices, exercise or when I quit smoking. Basically, I remove my own consideration process: "Should I have a cigarette?" "No, I will not, end of story. I can want it until the end of time, but it is not happening." "Can I skip the gym today?" "Nope. I am going and that is that. It may suck, but life happens."

    I do not know if this will work for you, but it helps me a lot, and it takes away the constant drain on my willpower that occurs when I allow myself to repeatedly challenge my own good choices.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,709 Member
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    You're bored with the routine. I'm sure your facility has other activities you've not tried yet and may bring back some enthusiasm to going.
    Even taking time off (for me it's a couple of weeks a year) is needed to reduce the repetitiveness of going to the gym.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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  • Pinkranger626
    Pinkranger626 Posts: 460 Member
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    I get that way sometimes. For me, it's not about being bored with the routine, usually I'm very excited about it all day. And then when it comes time to go (I usually go right after work as I work early in the morning and my gym doesn't open until I'm already on my way to work) I get that whiny dialogue going.

    9 times out of 10 i go anyway and things are fine and I'm happy I went etc. I think for me, it's just the time it takes to get there, go into the locker room, do my workout, grab all my stuff (more stuff in the winter time), drive home, take a shower etc. I don't have a ton of free time with my schedule so the thought of going home and have a couple extra hours to chill out always nags at me.

    But, like I said, I usually go anyways because I know I wouldn't feel as good as I do if I didn't, and I actually quite enjoy working out.
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,717 Member
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    TheEats wrote: »
    I find that telling myself the decision is already made is the way to go. This goes for anything; coursework, food choices, exercise or when I quit smoking. Basically, I remove my own consideration process: "Should I have a cigarette?" "No, I will not, end of story. I can want it until the end of time, but it is not happening." "Can I skip the gym today?" "Nope. I am going and that is that. It may suck, but life happens."

    I do not know if this will work for you, but it helps me a lot, and it takes away the constant drain on my willpower that occurs when I allow myself to repeatedly challenge my own good choices.

    This is exactly what I do, too. I silence the inner dialogue before it even gets going because that's just a waste of my precious energy! Sometimes I visualize all the words that are starting and I "see" myself push them all over a cliff. Poof! Gone. I've heard other people say that these thoughts seem to appear over their heads in bubbles like in a comic strip and so they pop the "word balloons" and they go away.

    Also, find a new routine or a new gym. Change of environment and scenery usually helps.
  • tri_bob
    tri_bob Posts: 121 Member
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    Lots of good stuff here, but for what it's worth I'll echo the sentiment that it sounds like you could use a change of some sort. Maybe a different time of day, maybe something other than going to the gym, at least for a while ... something.

    For example, I'm a runner and (thoroughly unconvincing) triathlete. Summer & Autumn are a never-ending, but enjoyable, cycle of swim, bike, run, strength, Zumba, etc. The races about once a month are the dessert after the meat & potatoes of the training. For the last few years, though, I've taken November & December as something of a running sabbatical. Except for maybe one 5K each month, I don't even put on running shoes for those two months. I still do the other stuff, but I take a break from the running.

    By the time January rolls around, I'm ready - maybe even eager - to start running again. I don't ever not enjoy running, but taking some time off reinforces my desire to do it when it's time to restart. Maybe something to consider?

    $.02 from the cheap seats.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    Need2Exerc1se wrote: »
    I used to do that every morning. So, I stopped working out in the morning. I finally faced the fact that I'm simply not a morning person and I never will be. I'm much more consistent now.

    Every time I have to do AM workouts- I go through this.
    - I doubt it would ever go away- I am NOT a morning person.
  • stealthq
    stealthq Posts: 4,298 Member
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    I do that, too. Always have. I just make sure to have everything prepped so I can roll out of bed and start getting ready immediately. No thought involved. Only way to guarantee I won't end up skipping - 'cause I just like the gym. I don't love it.

    I even did it when I had to get up at 5am for horseback riding, and that I absolutely loved.

    Only time I do not do this is when I have slept well enough that I wake up on my own before the alarm goes off. Then I have no trouble at all. Too bad it's a rarity what with my dog waking me up with his insane barking at the nighttime wildlife. Hard to sleep when you're peeling yourself off of the ceiling.
  • urloved33
    urloved33 Posts: 3,323 Member
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    All these really great tips thank you so much. I added a yoga, stretch and balanced class to my week about a year ago. That helped. I was thinking about trying spinning class that also takes it outside in a group ride. That would shake things up...but I am going to take the advice of eros_bittersweet and stop engaging with that intrusive thought. Take an observational approach and just go about my business. and yes suruda I wish that inner voice said "hey your great, keep it up" lol. As far as working out at night...I used to work out after 4 but my scheduled changed and I dont' get out of work until 7pm which would put me in the gym too late...I would be too stimulated to sleep. BZAH10 and THEEATS I am not much at visualization on the fly but silencing the inner voice is a great avenue to ending this morning banter...as eros_bitterweet said...they are just intrusive thoughts. I do love the gym and every day when I leave I say..."I love the gym I really don't know why I resist going" great self talk after the work out....that is one of the up sides of working out....it brings out the best in us.

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