Turning my life around, friends aren't being supportive

cassidy_farris
cassidy_farris Posts: 6
edited November 14 in Introduce Yourself
I have lost 10 pounds, it's the first weight I've lost MY WHOLE LIFE, the past 6 years or so I've just been gaining weight, rapidly... & I've FINALLY started to turn my life around... I'm incredibly happy about this, so naturally I try to tell my best friends about it and all they do is pretend they don't hear me , tell me I'm fine the way I am, or simply say "cool" and change the subject... I'm not expecting them to want to talk about me for 2 hours but they don't support me at all, if I'm struggling, or about to cheat they literally encourage it !!!!! Any advice ????

Replies

  • jmothershead127
    jmothershead127 Posts: 10 Member
    Don't take what they say literally. People that are trying to loose weight don't understand the struggle nor the strength it takes. That's why places like these are perfecto chat! We all understand what your going through and most r here to support
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,027 Member
    The reality is that people close to you don't really care about your weight loss/gain/maintenance. The only person you can depend on for solid support, is you.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    9285851.png
  • logancoggins9
    logancoggins9 Posts: 5
    Is this app any good??
  • ROBOTFOOD
    ROBOTFOOD Posts: 5,527 Member
    logancoggins9 wrote: »
    Is this app any good??
    Yes. Welcome.

  • fatjon73
    fatjon73 Posts: 379 Member
    logancoggins9 wrote: »
    Is this app any good??

    Depends how you use it and what your goals are.....It is the only thing that has ever helped me to shift the weight in the past (this is my second time....first time round lost 5 stone in 18 months)
  • jessypug
    jessypug Posts: 142 Member
    Find people who can support you! Go do some gym classes, there will be some awesome people there :D
  • Emnelltt
    Emnelltt Posts: 14
    I fell in love with Crossfit. The only supportive workout community I have found in my near 37 years on this planet. I am not a girl who likes to workout, but with Crossfit I am in the gym three days a week (looking at adding a fourth) and love every minute of those *kitten* workouts. As someone said further up your only true support is you. When someone is doing something good for themselves, it often stirs up feelings in others, whether those be their own body issues, issues with eating, or stress. Don't let their lack of enthusiasm kill your spirit and you have to stand up for yourself when it comes to not cheating on your calorie counts. I lost 30 lbs with this app before and now post babies I am steadily working my way back down again. Best of luck!
  • khrobertson333
    khrobertson333 Posts: 5 Member
    Stay proud of yourself! If they don't want to better themselves, they may not want to see you do so either. DO NOT let that bring you down. In the end, making yourself happy is all that matters.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    My chief motivator is myself. My husband is a close second, a bemused bystander. My daughter alternately freaks or tells me how proud of me she is. Weight loss is such a personal thing, people tend to internalize if you talk about it. All they are thinking about is all the things they are not doing.

    I planned a one-derland party at a trampoline park when I got below 200 pounds. No-one from my generation showed up. I had fun anyways.
  • dopeysmelly
    dopeysmelly Posts: 1,390 Member
    cassidy_farris wrote: »
    I have lost 10 pounds, it's the first weight I've lost MY WHOLE LIFE, the past 6 years or so I've just been gaining weight, rapidly... & I've FINALLY started to turn my life around... I'm incredibly happy about this, so naturally I try to tell my best friends about it and all they do is pretend they don't hear me , tell me I'm fine the way I am, or simply say "cool" and change the subject... I'm not expecting them to want to talk about me for 2 hours but they don't support me at all, if I'm struggling, or about to cheat they literally encourage it !!!!! Any advice ????

    This is perfectly normal. Just as @ninerbuff states, people are generally only interested in their own weight.

    On the other hand, it can be quite a liberating experience to feel real pride in something you've accomplished yourself, without any outside affirmation or any help. You did it all by yourself! And you can always come here for support if you need it!

    Well done on losing that 10lbs! Way to go!
  • MalineVD
    MalineVD Posts: 649 Member
    I totally get that.. My friends are exactly the same. Too lazy to go for workouts themselves and always trying to make me feel guilty when I cancel on drinks to go to the gym..
    Problem is I'm really sensitive to such things, so I used to cave in a lot. Until I realised I need to be a bit more selfish there :)
  • Calren2
    Calren2 Posts: 15
    As others have said, focus on yourself. It's intrinsic motivation that's going to get you where you want to go. Extrinsic motivation (family, friends, MFP, etc) is nice but not required. Join a group or two on here, make some friends to ask for tips and advice, but mostly results will come from you.

    Log your food the best you can but don't stress if you can't be precise (e.g. if you don't have a food scale,) make time every day to work out some, be it walking, doing crunches at home, following along with yoga on Youtube, whatever, and have a plan in place for those days that you stumble because even the best of us is going to have an off day. Aside from those tips, welcome to MFP!
  • kazaargrandcru
    kazaargrandcru Posts: 152 Member
    I don't talk about these things with friends/family. Best wishes on reaching your goals :)
  • patj06
    patj06 Posts: 13 Member
    Don't talk to them talk to us!!! We're all here to achieve our health and fitness goals so you got a listening ear when you need it. Keep going, you're doing amazing!!! 10lbs is 10 bags of sugar, that is fantastic. Maybe sign up to a gym or other fitness group or activity and chat to other people with the same goals and priorities. Go for it!!!!
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
    Probably get friends on here or use sparkteens then you cna talk and get support from people who understand your challenge. I dont really go in for expecting anyone except myself to support and motivate me, what you feel about yourself is the most important. Just about everyone else is not really on the horizon. I certainly wouldnt waste any time about someone being indifferent.
  • sls2072
    sls2072 Posts: 28 Member
    Sometimes you will have to rely on yourself for encouragement and acknowledgement and if you need some encouragement there are plenty of people here who are equally as good as your friends only we're supportive here.
  • tinallen863
    tinallen863 Posts: 50 Member
    edited March 2015
    People that aren't concerned about taking control of their own health will try to talk you out of caring for yours! That sounds crazy but it seems to be true. My usual response is the eye roll and "Oh, you're fine". This is the place for consistent support.
  • redoakcircus
    redoakcircus Posts: 32
    How often do you talk about your weight struggles with them? My husband has similar responses to your friends. I think it's because he's heard me talk about getting my act together so much over the last few years that he doesn't really believe it anymore. It will take at least 20 lbs probably to make him understand that it's going to stick this time.
  • exstromn
    exstromn Posts: 176 Member
    Be strong and rely on yourself. Believe me, they will notice when you are shrinking and will acknowlege you one way or another. MFP really helped me with support. Find someone in your life who is like minded in your goals and include them, it will strengthen your relationship and you can support each other. Good luck and safe journey!
  • allison4884
    allison4884 Posts: 1
    cassidy_farris wrote: »
    I have lost 10 pounds, it's the first weight I've lost MY WHOLE LIFE, the past 6 years or so I've just been gaining weight, rapidly... & I've FINALLY started to turn my life around... I'm incredibly happy about this, so naturally I try to tell my best friends about it and all they do is pretend they don't hear me , tell me I'm fine the way I am, or simply say "cool" and change the subject... I'm not expecting them to want to talk about me for 2 hours but they don't support me at all, if I'm struggling, or about to cheat they literally encourage it !!!!! Any advice ????

    Ten pounds is wonderful, that is an accomplishment. Congrats! My advice to you about your friends is for you to find new friends if they are that uninterested in you.These are major red flags. People that are only there for you when you have problems and are not there for you when you are having good things happen to you are toxic. If they feed off of your misery and don't want happiness for you, RUN in the other direction and distance yourself from them. You can find better people to be around. What will happen to you, from my own experience, is they want you to fail and not be happy so they can feel better about themselves. You don't even realize that's what is happening until you get away from that crowd. Consider it a blessing that you realize this now so you will not waste anymore of this short life on toxic people. Good Luck!
  • rbn_held
    rbn_held Posts: 691 Member
    This is the best place to get motivation and support, because almost everyone on here is going to the same kind of struggles in one way or another. So...add friends on here and read the forums when you are looking for motivation. I have a few threads that I go to every time I need encouragement and motivation. The only support outside of MFP that I have is my Mom and that's because she is trying to lose wait as well. I don't even talk about it to my Friend's anymore. Feel free to add me if you would like. Always looking for new people to help motivate and that can help motivate me. Best of luck on your weight loss Journey :)
  • cassidy_farris
    cassidy_farris Posts: 6
    logancoggins9 wrote: »
    Is this app any good??

    Yes it's amazing so far !
  • cassidy_farris
    cassidy_farris Posts: 6
    rbn_held wrote: »
    This is the best place to get motivation and support, because almost everyone on here is going to the same kind of struggles in one way or another. So...add friends on here and read the forums when you are looking for motivation. I have a few threads that I go to every time I need encouragement and motivation. The only support outside of MFP that I have is my Mom and that's because she is trying to lose wait as well. I don't even talk about it to my Friend's anymore. Feel free to add me if you would like. Always looking for new people to help motivate and that can help motivate me. Best of luck on your weight loss Journey :)

    Thank you ! This really made me more confident about my weight loss !!!
  • cassidy_farris
    cassidy_farris Posts: 6
    allison4884 wrote: »
    cassidy_farris wrote: »
    I have lost 10 pounds, it's the first weight I've lost MY WHOLE LIFE, the past 6 years or so I've just been gaining weight, rapidly... & I've FINALLY started to turn my life around... I'm incredibly happy about this, so naturally I try to tell my best friends about it and all they do is pretend they don't hear me , tell me I'm fine the way I am, or simply say "cool" and change the subject... I'm not expecting them to want to talk about me for 2 hours but they don't support me at all, if I'm struggling, or about to cheat they literally encourage it !!!!! Any advice ????

    Ten pounds is wonderful, that is an accomplishment. Congrats! My advice to you about your friends is for you to find new friends if they are that uninterested in you.These are major red flags. People that are only there for you when you have problems and are not there for you when you are having good things happen to you are toxic. If they feed off of your misery and don't want happiness for you, RUN in the other direction and distance yourself from them. You can find better people to be around. What will happen to you, from my own experience, is they want you to fail and not be happy so they can feel better about themselves. You don't even realize that's what is happening until you get away from that crowd. Consider it a blessing that you realize this now so you will not waste anymore of this short life on toxic people. Good Luck!

    Thank you so much ! I am trying to stay away from them as much as possible... This reply definitely boost my confidence (:
  • cassidy_farris
    cassidy_farris Posts: 6
    redoakcircus wrote: »
    How often do you talk about your weight struggles with them? My husband has similar responses to your friends. I think it's because he's heard me talk about getting my act together so much over the last few years that he doesn't really believe it anymore. It will take at least 20 lbs probably to make him understand that it's going to stick this time.

    Never actually only once, when I lost the ten pounds ! And they just didn't want to here it, I just discovered this community and blog, so I'm sure it will help me, thank you for the advice !!!!
This discussion has been closed.

Categories