Excited about joining this online support group!

It's a great tool!


This is the third day into my weight loss challenge. It's more of a body fat/life struggle/emotional discovery.
I have been chronically overeating to satisfy emotional needs for my entire life. From the moment I realized I was "different" from the rest of the girls (ie- skateboarding, tomboyish, quiet) I have been looking for something to fill the anxious void that swirls around in me. 
 
Upon graduating college, at my heaviest and least fit, I found myself completely dissatisfied and unhappy with the way I looked and felt. I was dating a guy, Ben, who had recently lost 80+ lbs. He inspired me. He stopped when he was full, ate what he wanted, and remained totally calm and happy, instead of fixated and down. He wasn't hiding behind food anymore. (I don't hide behind food. I try to hide behind spandex, and obviously it isn't working.)
 
In August of 2008 (almost 3 years ago) I started working at 24 Hour fitness as a personal trainer. One day my boss came up to me asked, in a loaded sort of way, "hey, how's your own training going?" What I have found in the fitness industry is this- unless the person you are asking is clearly ripped, it is an easy way to talk to people about what is really failing them in their fitness quest. I was embarrassed because I knew he was calling me out. I was a fat trainer. I was preaching the healthy lifestyle and overeating when I got home. I decided to make a change by investing in a bodybugg. The caloric measuring device helped me to understand exactly how many calories I was consuming and how many I was burning. Honey has calories, peanut butter is no joke, soy milk is in the same boat. Although the foods I was eating were not fried, or from a drive through, they were heavy in calories. Too much energy coming in, and very little being sweated out.
 
So I started logging, learned about how much excess I had, and then started running. I started to train for the Carlsbad half marathon. I had never done a running race before and although I was an athlete in college, and ran often, I had never structured my running program. I must thank my friend Michael, who was essentially my training partner, for he printed out a fail-proof guide for distances that I was supposed to be doing each day. 
 
I became a runner for the calories it burned. Running a slow, easy pace for me burned more calories than spin class, more than the elliptical (what a waste of time), more than the stair climber. It was unreal to me that all I had to do was run 5 miles, not even an hour's time, eat a little less, and I was in a calorie deficit. 
 
[Weight loss isn't all about calories. In fact, it is mostly about the nutrient content of food and TIMING]
 
Six weeks of straight commitment and faith in the bodybugg, being brutally honest with the calories coming in, and weighing myself every day and all I found was that my weight stayed the exact same after the first initial loss. I felt defeated. I started at around 185 and it stayed close to 180 for about six weeks. Almost ready to give up, I decided to start changing my diet more. I took out bread, dairy, and all meats except for sushi but that was a rarity. So now I was "eating clean".
 
THE BIGGEST AND MOST IMPORTANT ASPECT OF MY EATING WAS THE FACT THAT I DIDNT EAT AFTER 4 OR 5PM WHEN MOST OF MY OVEREATING BINGES WOULD OCCUR.
 
I fell asleep hungry, a lot. I had a hard time falling asleep some nights. I couldn't wait for the morning until I could have my controlled portion breakfast of a bar or protein shake. But on the days I ran and fell asleep growling like this, I woke up the next morning smiling. I WAS DISCERNIBLY THINNER. I didn't have the pooch any more. My legs started to melt also. All of the sudden the weight kept coming off. I got down to 167 and for the first time thought that it was really possible to get back to my driver's license weight at 15 years old.
My goal was always decreased body fat, irrespective of the number of the scale. I knew the importance of this and why counting the scale numbers wouldn't always reflect the work I had put it. My starting body fat was 23% and in only 8 weeks I lowered it to 16%. From 167 I got down to 162. At this weight my best friend thought I was starving myself but honestly, I felt like I was always eating. I would have four 200 calorie mini-meals and a giant salad at lunch that was around 500 or 600 calories. I tried to shoot for 1200-1600 calories and only once did I end up going way over 3000.
 
To me, counting calories was all about being in control. As long as I was in a deficit it was ok. Even if it was 5 calories it was still progress. I loved that I had something tangible to work with and it helped me to choose which foods were best. Fruits and vegetables were the lowest calorie, had the greatest volume, and were the most nutritionally dense. I quickly moved away from all high fat and sugar foods because it just wasn't worth the sacrifice for size. One tablespoon of olive oil was 100 calories or I could have a giant spinach salad with carrots, onions, mushrooms, etc. 
 
I KNOW THAT MOST OF THIS WAS OVERLY OBSESSIVE, BUT LOOK AT MY LIFE. WE ALL STRIVE FOR A BALANCED LIFE BUT MOST PEOPLE DON'T SPEND 8-12 HOURS IN A GYM. THIS WAS MY BALANCE. THIS WAS MY CONTROL. THIS WAS THE ONE METHOD THAT TRULY HELPED ME. THERE ARE MANY OTHER WAYS, AND I AM A HUGE ADVOCATE OF FINDING THE MOST BALANCED LIFE THAT DOENS'T ALWAYS REVOLVE AROUnd FOOD. IN FACT, WHEN I WAS MAKING THE MOST PROGRESS, I RARELY THOUGHT ABOUT EATING LIKE I PREVIOUSLY HAD OBSESSED ABOUT IT IN THE PAST. IT WAS JUST ANOTHER PART OF MY DAY THAT CAME AND WENT. THE TRUE SECRET TO MY HAPPINESS BECAME MY GREATEST PASSIONS- ART, WORKING WITH CLIENTS, SURFING, YOGA, BEING OUTSIDE, AND MY FAMILY.
 
I got lean. Really lean. I felt happy, healthy, less stressed. I ended up being able to work incredibly long days without feeling too tired. My mind was clear and my thoughts more organized. My skin was perfect. My attitude was bright and optimistic. The moment I began to stress I immediately felt comforted by the accomplishment of looking in the mirror and not feeling bad, guilty, upset, or depressed about what I saw.
 
I remember shopping one time in the mall. I went in forever 21. I had never really shopped there but I had it in my mind that I wanted a loose, long racer back tank top. I saw some. I remember taking handfuls of hangers into the dressing room. For the first time in my life I was in a dilemma. Everything fit, everything looked good. Never in my life did I not hand anything back to the dressing room attendant. I wanted it all. This happened a few more times in the next few months. It was one of the best feelings of my life. 
 
I was the healthiest I had ever been in my whole life. I was fit. The overeating stopped because I was so happy in other aspects of my life. I was less anxious and more relaxed in general. I became very popular as a personal trainer. I did amazing in sales. I was respected. I felt like I was in the “in-group” I felt proud and confident. I was attractive and for the first time in my whole life- I was enough.
 
The 10 “Secrets” to my weight Loss
 
Bodybugg or calorie counter
Recording what I ate
Not eating at night (no matter how hard it was)
Not eating dairy, meat, or bread ( I also followed the Blood type Diet for A+)
Protein supplements ( I now use raw natural protein powder)
Running or doing cardio 5-6 days per week with a structured schedule even when I was tired
Having a peaceful environment to come home to
Doing a body composition test before and after for motivation
Not going out to eat
Being surrounded by supportive people who praised and encouraged my progress
 
 
 

October 2009

welcome -- this site is awesome and the people are great.

Best wishes to you on your journey

Welcome :happy: