ending my first week and wanting to just say forget it
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I cook for my family 2-3 nights a week, my husband cooks for himself & the kids 2-3 nights a week & we generally go out to eat one night. I used to do all the cooking & was also finding it hard to make food for them & food for myself. Now I get to eat whatever I want on his nights & they get to eat healthier on my nights. It's turned out to be a win/win situation in my house. Planning meals ahead is important & making sure you are fully stocked with healthy options is crucial in my limited experience
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"Delegate a kids meal once a night to give yourself a day off" - This is very important, not only once per week, either. Given the ages of your older children, they are more than old enough to start assisting you in the kitchen for dinner. This will also start to teach them about food, nutrition, cooking, etc. All very important life skills. If you just continue to do everything yourself you will continue to be tired and want to give up and you'll also send your kids down the same path as your husband: you make whatever they want with no consideration for YOUR needs. That's not healthy for anyone. Your needs should NOT be the last priority.
Another poster said this: "One thing I do know women spend too much time taking care of their family and not themselves." SO true and so not helpful to either yourself or your family as a unit. I'm not criticizing you - please don't take it that way! I mean to be positive. You can do this if you prioritize.0 -
A health scare or an incident that's directly health related for you to be MOTIVATED enough to carry on?jenniferann320 wrote: »So I've done this several times before. I manage to lose 10-15 pounds and then lose all my momentum. why? Why? Why? Some say it means I'm not ready, some say I'm not doing it for the right reasons... But I say I just need to figure it out. Half way through day six and to be honest I'm tired of feeling hungry and tired of having to think through every meal I'm about to eat to make sure I have enough calories. I am in that boat of making one meal for my family and then something different for me. I know that part just won't work. I love to cook and I love to eat more
my kids I can convince to eat some new healthier things but my hubby would rather starve then eat what I do. So all this complaining because I'm not able to commit. I know lots of options for cutting calories and fat. I know how to add protein into my diet. I know the importance of water and exercise but I just don't follow through. Someone please tell me what I'm missing lol I need to get healthy!
Motivated people (whether they have support or not) will do what it takes to reach goal. Obstacles and deterrences don't stop them.
Working in a Wellness Clinic, I get to see people daily who have suffered a stroke, heart attack, reconstructive surgery, etc. enough to know that if I don't take care of myself, eventually the same will happen me.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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I was frustrated, also, by sabotage of my husband in my goals. He had much more time to exercise than I, so was able to eat a TON more calories every day. He was a good cook. It was very frustrating.
I say do what is best for you and your kids, and tell him he can get with the program or take care of food for himself. You shouldn't have to cook two meals.0 -
Velum_cado wrote: »Would it be easier to cut your portion sizes down instead of making a completely different meal for you? Or, on days that I need to save a few calories, I might do little swaps - so, let's say I made roast chicken, mashed potatoes, and broccoli. I'd give myself double the broccoli, or some tomatoes and cucumber instead of potatoes. Or if I make pasta with a chunky vegetable and tomato sauce - I give myself half the portion of pasta, but extra sauce. I find little things like that are really manageable changes if I need to eat a bit lighter to balance my calories out, and it saves me from forcing "health nut" food on my husband, or making two different meals.
^^ This. I do the same thing, my mother lives with me and is very underweight, so I'm not going to serve her some low-cal low-fat foods. I just control what I eat by portions.
Also, you might be starting the hard way. Try just logging what you normally eat, to see what the high calorie hitters are, and see if you can cut portions, or substitute some other food. Do this for a week, and then start your portion controls.
A lot of people fail because they set their goals to high (2 pounds a week) and the app gives you a really low calorie goal that may not be realistic.
Good luck.
This often works for a lot of people. Just start accurately logging. See where your strengths and weaknesses are and build from there. Sometimes starting from scratch and changing too many things is overwhelming.0 -
Agreed. One thing at a time. The habit of logging is a big enough change, without changing everything you eat at the same time!
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Losing weight is hard. Staying fat is hard. Choose your hard.0
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Your husband is an adult- if he doesn't like the healthy food you cook, then he can make his own dinner!0
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LadyEmeryn wrote: »Your husband is an adult- if he doesn't like the healthy food you cook, then he can make his own dinner!
This. My dh eats what I eat, or he cooks for himself.0 -
Just keep showing up here and log everything, every day, no matter what, lose or gain and if you can open your diary. That is all I committed to because with the family stuff I was really just dragging myself to mfp kicking and screaming simply trying to stop gaining weight, never mind losing. I am also selective about my peeps- I pick people in this for the long run- people trying to make a life change, not just drop 20 for a wedding (not that those are mutually exclusive!). The reason I like this population is that they seem to know how to push me when I am mostly just whining, but then support me when I have legit issues and have to make choices that make sense that day. I am also going very slow this time so that I have a better chance at keeping my sanity on a daily basis. There is such a pull to be all-or-nothing, but as a mother of young children flexibility is key. As a result, I have only lost 10 pounds in three months, but I ran 8 miles yesterday and I snuggled my kids this morning. Also, I agree with those who comment that you can try to concentrate cals. in certain places, and just eat less of what the family is eating but that works for some and not for others. Finding what works for you is the key, and that means...showing up. I also lurk and read a lot of boards when I am needing inspiration but keep mostly to my friend circle for day in and day out survival. It helps when someone besides me gives a care what I ate that day and THAT is why I don't think you should give up on mfp yet. People here really will care.0
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jenniferann320 wrote: »....I just don't follow through. Someone please tell me what I'm missing lol I need to get healthy!
You don't want it bad enough. This is a hard road to walk, and most don't make it. Instead of beating yourself up one week at a time, just accept who and where you are right now.
When the time is right, you'll know. It won't be easy - it'll still be hard - but you'll find you have the ability to say "No".
Good luck!
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I am with you on this one, sister. I have a hubby who has a physical job and growing boys who play basketball like it's going out of style. I cook for them, as healthfully as I can, but they all have those zippy metabolisms that let them burn off whatever/however much they eat. I do cook something separate for myself, because eating what they eat is not an option, and having them eat what I eat is just not going to happen. So. I think you need some tricks to get through the day. I eat celery or cucumbers when I am hungry. I know I'd rather have chips and salsa, but *today* I'm eating this. Adding some hummus goes a long way. Also, when I start feeling the urge to graze, I do my best to pick up my crochet, go for a walk, sing a good song out loud, or go play with my dogs--whatever it may be to distract myself through the "ugs." I have a figurative ton of weight to lose. But I tell myself, other people do it, so I can do it, too. Another thing that I do: look through catalogs with clothes in the size I want to be. It helps.0
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I'm the same way! I lose a few pounds then lose steam and get hungry. I have been working on smaller portions and I feel like it's really helping. I cook for myself and my boyfriend, but I eat a serving size at dinner and if I feel very hungry I put my meal on a big bed of salad. It's very low calorie to add salad and if you add your meal on top, you don't need to add extra calories with salad dressing. During the day I try to spread my food out by eating one thing at a time rather than eating all at once. When I get hungry I drink a glass of water then eat something.0
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A health scare or an incident that's directly health related for you to be MOTIVATED enough to carry on?jenniferann320 wrote: »So I've done this several times before. I manage to lose 10-15 pounds and then lose all my momentum. why? Why? Why? Some say it means I'm not ready, some say I'm not doing it for the right reasons... But I say I just need to figure it out. Half way through day six and to be honest I'm tired of feeling hungry and tired of having to think through every meal I'm about to eat to make sure I have enough calories. I am in that boat of making one meal for my family and then something different for me. I know that part just won't work. I love to cook and I love to eat more my kids I can convince to eat some new healthier things but my hubby would rather starve then eat what I do. So all this complaining because I'm not able to commit. I know lots of options for cutting calories and fat. I know how to add protein into my diet. I know the importance of water and exercise but I just don't follow through. Someone please tell me what I'm missing lol I need to get healthy!
Motivated people (whether they have support or not) will do what it takes to reach goal. Obstacles and deterrences don't stop them.
Working in a Wellness Clinic, I get to see people daily who have suffered a stroke, heart attack, reconstructive surgery, etc. enough to know that if I don't take care of myself, eventually the same will happen me.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I miss the option to have tickers displayed on our posts.
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Thank you everyone for the advice! Not giving up yet and just for the record I think my comment about my hubby was interpreted several different ways. I didn't mean for it to sound like he was sabotaging me, he's definitely not doing that. Just would be easier if we all like the same things. But I've decided to try the suggestion of planning dinner on the am and that way I know what calories I need to save or how much exercise I need to add in to stay on goal 0
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Velum_cado wrote: »Would it be easier to cut your portion sizes down instead of making a completely different meal for you? Or, on days that I need to save a few calories, I might do little swaps - so, let's say I made roast chicken, mashed potatoes, and broccoli. I'd give myself double the broccoli, or some tomatoes and cucumber instead of potatoes. Or if I make pasta with a chunky vegetable and tomato sauce - I give myself half the portion of pasta, but extra sauce. I find little things like that are really manageable changes if I need to eat a bit lighter to balance my calories out, and it saves me from forcing "health nut" food on my husband, or making two different meals.
This - I cook the same meal for everybody at home but just add a huge salad on the bottom of my plate and then fill it up with a bit of pasta or rice or potatoes and meat.0 -
I used MFP to track calories a few years back and lost 25 lbs of baby weight. Now, after baby 2, I am back, but trying out a different approach. I feel a little overwhelmed with the idea of weighing out all my food again, and I find the process too time consuming. I have other non - weight loss goals I want to achieve, and I want to find an approach that will work long term for me. Instead of tracking calories, I am using MFP to stay mindful of the choices I make. I post on my news feed at least once a day and comment on my food and exercise choices. The only thing I am tracking is my weight. This approach won't get fast results, but I am hoping that the ease of it (I just need a few minutes a day) will keep me on track. Last time around, I found that a genuine connection with a few "friends" on here did wonders. I am still looking for a similar connection - someone who will comment on my posts and provide me with a sense of accountability, especially since I don't have a food diary to share.
I am not necessarily suggesting you take my approach - you've been given lots of great tips here - just wanted you to know that you are not alone in feeling frustrated with the process. MFP can be a great tool to keep you aware of your choices - good and not so good - and keep you moving forward even after life happens and you veer off course.
Good luck! I hope you find a good rhythm! Feel free to add me if you would like support - I will actually comment on your posts rather than just "liking" them (something to keep me awake during night time nursing sessions
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If you find yourself reading through the labels and thinking "this won't work" then perhaps you need to take a long hard look at what you are buying in the first place. Ditch all of the processed rubbish. Make a conscious effort to not rely on packages etc. Just because it's "home made" doesn't mean it's labour intensive.
I don't understand how people go on "diets" and starve themselves and expect to maintain it. Small life changes. Stop buying rubbish. If you want to pay attention to labels, try focusing more on the ingredients list and less on the nutritional values.
Eat normally but pay attention to your body. Lessen your portions, eat slowly and stop eating before the end of your plate when you no longer feel hungry. Make sure you have some good oils and protein in there to help you feel satiated.
The whole chicken and apple thing... you should eat chicken and apple because "hey I'm feeling lazy/am pushed for time, what is easy and would work... I know, the chicken and apple, sounds good, I like that" rather than "hrm... only x calories left today... oh heck, what can I eat... well a bit of chicken and an apple will work... if I cut them up really small maybe they'll last longer... god I really fancy a chocolate cake" It's all about attitude and making small changes for long term health results. Accept that and you've won half of the battle.0 -
Haha exactly.I told hubs he could either eat what I cooked or cook himself.
Maybe a couple nights a week your husband can cook for himself and the kids and let you just focus on a super-healthy meal for yourself too. Take some pressure off, help you test out healthy recipes and let them taste to see if they maybe even like them for regular rotation.0 -
carolina_r wrote: »I used MFP to track calories a few years back and lost 25 lbs of baby weight. Now, after baby 2, I am back, but trying out a different approach. I feel a little overwhelmed with the idea of weighing out all my food again, and I find the process too time consuming. I have other non - weight loss goals I want to achieve, and I want to find an approach that will work long term for me. Instead of tracking calories, I am using MFP to stay mindful of the choices I make. I post on my news feed at least once a day and comment on my food and exercise choices. The only thing I am tracking is my weight. This approach won't get fast results, but I am hoping that the ease of it (I just need a few minutes a day) will keep me on track. Last time around, I found that a genuine connection with a few "friends" on here did wonders. I am still looking for a similar connection - someone who will comment on my posts and provide me with a sense of accountability, especially since I don't have a food diary to share.
I am not necessarily suggesting you take my approach - you've been given lots of great tips here - just wanted you to know that you are not alone in feeling frustrated with the process. MFP can be a great tool to keep you aware of your choices - good and not so good - and keep you moving forward even after life happens and you veer off course.
Good luck! I hope you find a good rhythm! Feel free to add me if you would like support - I will actually comment on your posts rather than just "liking" them (something to keep me awake during night time nursing sessions )
Thanks for responding. In kind of in the same boat. I unfortunately need to track everything I eat because I believed I wasn't eating "that bad' as a matter of fact on my second day I ate pretty much as I normally would and I was over 3,000 calories! No wonder I had gained so much. But like you I do not have time or desire to count for the rest of my life. So I plan on ding this for roughly six months to teach myself what foods are the best choices. Once I feel comfortable then I still want to continue just without so much need for tracking.
I too work night shift and can relate to that too lol thanks again for reading.0 -
I don't know what kind of "diet" you are on, but I eat normal foods and just count calories. Granted, I try to sneak vegetables into everything, but I'm really not eating different foods than when I'm not dieting. Roasted chicken, meatloaf, chili with lean beef and beans, tacos with ground turkey, lots of roasted chicken....who wouldn't want to eat that?
Calorie deficit doesn't mean you have to eat lettuce only. Make one meal and call it done.0 -
I have 3 kids...age 5, 3 and 10 months...and they eat what we eat. I don't have time to make separate meals for everyone. My husband also eats what I make.
There are plenty of healthy meals you can make that everyone likes. I'm making a lasagne this evening. Instead of white sauce I'm using low fat Greek yogurt, egg and Parmesan cheese, adding veg to the meat, and only using a small amount of pasta. Nice and healthy for everyone. We do things like chicken stir fry, chicken stew, light moussaka, spaghetti bolognaise, chicken/fish and veg, jacket potato and tuna.... Things like lasagne, chicken stew etc I'll purée for my baby so I then have about 10 dinners in the freezer for her, which means I've never had to buy a jar of baby food.
If you're feeling hungry then perhaps your calorie goal is too low?0
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