Success is discouraging?

h3h8m3 · May 2011

Anyone else ever actually get discouraged by weight loss success? Let me explain...

I've lost just over 30 pounds now. My lifestyle change has been very successful by any realistic measure. But I look at myself in the mirror and all I can see is how I have so much farther to go. My total loss will be about 90 pounds, so I'm about a third of the way there (though certainly not based on time, I'm sure it'll be much slower most of the rest of the way). But knowing how hard I've worked so far and how little difference it's made is just really discouraging.

I know that losing 30 pounds by itself will make a big difference in my overall health, and that if I was not losing weight I'd be much MORE discouraged... but that doesn't change the current reaction.

I don't need or want 15 people telling me what a good job I did, I'm just wondering if other people have the same reaction to initial success. Anyone else?

nicothepotato · May 2011

2 days ago, I was overjoyed to have lost my first 10 pounds but today I realized that I still have 20 more and those are probably going to be much harder to lose. I'm in the same boat as you.

karenkwalker · May 2011

I try and remind myself that I didn't put it on over night - so I can't expect to take it off overnight. It is hard work and I too get discouraged or just tired of fighting it! But I am more discontented with my overall health and image - so I'm hanging in there. You can do this! Just try and take a day at a time and not think to much about your big goal of 60 more pounds! Sending happy thoughts your way! Hang in there!

rthompson81 · May 2011

You may have to work harder and it may take longer as you get closer to your goal, BUT you now have the tools to get there. Changing my lifestyle was the biggest hurdle of them all.

georgiajuly · May 2011

Not exactly, but I do feel a slight sense of letdown. The "not exactly" is partly a function of being much older than you, having been gaining weight for 18 years, and having more or less given up on ever doing anything about it. Succeeding, and feeling confident that I will continue to succeed, is pretty heady stuff.
The letdown is because the success the first 6-8 weeks exceeded my expectations, and I have been, frankly, sort of euphoric. Like you, I'm about a third of the way there, and now it's down to grinding out a pound or so a week. Nevertheless, my plan is a good one, and I don't intend to fail. Hopefully, my expectations of the end result will be realistic, not some vague fantasy of being 35 again!
Good luck.

mygirlbrenna · May 2011

Oh, yes. I remember when I lost 7, 10, 20lb thinking my goal was 85-90lb. How am I going to do this? But, as you buy new clothes, as people start treating you differently, as you start feeling so much better, it will become easier. Believe it or not, some people won't like you losing weight and will try to sabotage you. Women can be BRUTAL. You just do what you need to do to be able to be happy and healthy. KEEP IT UP!!!!! :bigsmile:

hush7hush · May 2011

I keep thinking about the fact that I've lost almonst 30 pounds.
Am about to hit my first mini-goal.
But I don't see a single damn difference.
I don't feel smaller.
I'm not really wearing a smaller size.
Stuff is looser, but I'm not happy at all.
I always thought 30 pounds would be such a huge deal.
But it's really not.
At all.
Maybe if you're not as F***ing obese as me, it might seem good.
But I still wake up every day feeling like a cow.
Battling myself on whether or not I even deserve to eat.

Brandicaloriecountess · May 2011

Yes, yes, yes. I get grossed out looking in the mirror now. I'm tired of being fat, I'm embarassed that I let myself get to this point. I'm thankful for my progress but I know how you feel. Oh and another thing that I don't like is that people still see a fat girl when they first see me, they don't see the changes I have made or the work I have done.

And knowing it took time to get here to this point doesn't give me ANY comfort lol.
I really feel let down when others have lost similar amounts or lesser amounts but have only dropped multiple sizes. I've dropped like a size and a half.

anubis609 · May 2011

I haven't had one thought like that on my entire journey. I never looked at it as one huge goal. I celebrated each loss for what it was, a loss accumulated to that point. I actually never thought of a goal weight until about [what became] halfway through my journey. And I never gave myself a deadline to meet. That allowed for the freedom to know that I could do it at anytime for however long it took to get me to where I was comfortable...which would be where I'm at now.

My ticker still says I have a goal to meet, but for now, I'm happy where I'm at. I just keep the goal there as something to aim for as I've changed my goal from weight loss to body fat % loss. I'd like those last pounds lost to be from whatever remaining excess body fat I have.

Restricting yourself to a long-term, one-track goal without options to enjoy the journey will only make it feel much, much harder, psychologically.

ramilya2003 · May 2011

I have been working out quite regularly (5-6 times a day) for the past 4.5 months now. The first month was absolutely fantastic, I could see the progress I made in terms of weight loss, performing hard exercises and even in my eating regiment (I don't say diet anymore). But as the time is passing by, I can't help but think, once in a while, for all these hardships I am going through, I should have dropped 40 lbs already! So far I lost about 21 and I still have about 10 to 15 lbs to go. Sometimes, all I think is "I will never lose these 10 lbs". And I am ready to start sabotaging myself, like I always did before.

Once this type of thoughts start crowding my head and affect the way I exercise and eat, I pull my journal out and write down the reason why I feel this way. Very often, it has to do with unrealistic expectations and goals. It took me 4 years to gain all this weight and I expect to lose it all AND get in the best shape of my life within 4.5 months. It is physically impossible unless I am willing to spend all my free time working out (which I am not!). The weight loss is not about the end result for me, it is about a journey. It is about learning to take good care of myself, eat right and exercise on a regular basis. If I focus on the end result too much, I won’t learn anything in the process and surely, I will gain all this weight back. How do I know? I have been through this before. A lot. This time around, I refuse to do the same thing and expect different results.

I recognize that there are bad days and good days. As any journey, the road to healthier me, is full of obstacles and sometimes I fall down. I don’t beat myself up, I pick up right where I left off and keep on going on no matter what.

Motivation is a huge deal to me. To get motivated, I go through the list of exercise benefits that I made when I first started working out (by the way, weight loss is listed as benefit #20 or something, so really, it is just a side effect, the very much desired one, but still a side effect). This list helps me to shift my focus from the weight loss back to my health. The reality is, I can be 40 lbs lighter but not healthy. So basically I am trying to change my mind set, instead of focusing on how much more I have to go, I focus on how much I can do already. I could never run, always hated it. Now, I can run 2 miles non-stop at 5 mph. Super big deal for me. I take measurements, I look at total body fat. And I constantly remind myself, it is not about being 110 lbs, it is about being healthy and happy.

This really helps me to get back on track, to be patient with myself and forget the “weight loss target” for a while. All I know is whatever happens, I don’t want to go back to old miserable me.

h3h8m3 · May 2011

Some great thoughts, thanks. I know that the goal should really be healthy living, and that every day/week/month of eating right and getting good exercise should be considered a victory. But the way I get motivated about this is 90% about weight loss. Good or bad, that's what fires me up and has got me this far. I am a very goal-oriented person, in all areas of life. I don't know that I could continue working so hard without the goal in mind... but hopefully as these new behaviors become more habitual I'll go from goal-oriented to enjoying the ride.

I'll try.

bcpie · May 2011

Every time I work out, I leave feeling so much larger than I did going in. ): I actually don't enjoy working out because I feel like a lard after I get home and take a shower. Walking is the only thing that makes me feel leaner and stronger and whatever.

megruder · May 2011

Just in the last few days I, too, have become discouraged. I started my weight loss journey back in January and lost 28 lbs in the first 4 mos. The last few weeks all that seems to have come to a standstill. I still have at least another 80 lbs to lose. I've tried to remind myself of all the standard stuff, i.e. it took me years to get to this point..., I'm doing this for my health..., yadda, yadda, whatever. It's still discouraging that I still so much to lose.

ramilya2003 · May 2011

Without a goal in mind it will not be easy to overcome the emotional plateu. Goals can be different, not necessarily tied directly to dropping pounds. The goal can be to push up (modification or not) 10 times, stay in plank for a minute or do 1 pull up (my current goal). At the end of the day, such small and seemingly random goals will help the big one.

rob504 · May 2011

I have lost 35lbs in 8 weeks and have reached the point where the rate of weight loss has slowed, I'm expecting to plateau soon. So yes, I am begining to feel a sense of "where do I go from here".
So I ask myself.
Do I feel better ? Yes I do.
Do I look better? Yes I do.
Am I proud of what I have achieved? Yes I am.
Has it been worth the effort? Yes very much so.

shelbyfrootcake · May 2011

2 days ago, I was overjoyed to have lost my first 10 pounds but today I realized that I still have 20 more and those are probably going to be much harder to lose. I'm in the same boat as you.

Same here. Mid week I found myself feeling incredibly disheartened and miserable that I've got another 14lb to go and while I'm working hard and being disciplined I seem to have ground almost to a halt. It feel like it'll be forever before I lose the last pounds and all that I'm putting in a lot of effort for little reward at the moment.

Part of me wants to jack it in and eat a massive cake, another part wants to start taking drastic measures and the last part (the bit with all the logic) tells to ignore the other two and keep trucking on - I'll get there in the end and it'll all be worth it. Eventually.

Success is discouraging?

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