Why me...

litzway
litzway Posts: 32 Member
edited November 14 in Motivation and Support
My new lifestyle...15 days over with MFP and 30 days altogether. Not feeling the self motivation anymore.. When I see my friends not doing anything I do...eating whatever they wanna eat and no exercises..still staying fit.. Why me?! Sure I do enjoy the morning walks but it's kinda odd for me.. Especially when I see my best friend doing everything she can to gain weight and me...doing exactly opposite! It's weird. I was never a food lover like her..even now. Why me?! I gained a lot weight when I was in bed rest after an automobile accident and afterwards...It took a long time for me to overcome the fear of moving myself like before. Even here not many are in their early 20s.. Totally disappointing.. I guess I'm just gonna end this. All the struggle seems meaningless.

Replies

  • breathebelievejen
    breathebelievejen Posts: 83 Member
    if it doesn't challenge you, it won't change you!

    we can sit and pity ourselves all day and wish we were somebody else but in my experience this just breeds self-loathing and resentment.. your body is capable of extraordinary things- you've already recovered from a car accident.. being alive is a reward in itself.

    Don't want to be mean but if you want it bad enough you'll keep going and find a way to make it work for you.. if not you'll find an excuse. Sounds like you're motivated by other people and what they're doing, though. Perhaps you could find a fitness buddy with similar goals who could help keep you accountable and make exercise more enjoyable?

    Your mind is your only limit! Hope you find some motivation and a can do attitude to keep you going.
  • CanadaEh1
    CanadaEh1 Posts: 31 Member
    Try to look at this as a long term lifestyle change. If you're looking for friends in your age range, make a post about it with the age in the subject line. I'm certain there are all kinds of MFP members in your age range who are active and could provide you mutual support. Good luck :)
  • AyaRowan
    AyaRowan Posts: 80 Member
    I grew up with a naturally thinner, more athletic friend. She puts on muscle far more naturally than me, while I put on fat. At one point she had gotten up to around 160lb (she's tall so it didn't even look bad on her) but she got serious about her body and had this one specific way she wanted to look and worked towards it until she got there. Never had to count calories or weigh food, etc.

    That's great for her and all, but as for me I wore a size 22 pants by jr high. By university, my highest weight had gotten to 318lb. But now I'm down 100lb to 217lb, it's been slow and hasn't been easy.

    Some people's genetics tend toward gaining weight, some people are emotional eaters, some people have complexes and low self-esteem which compound upon any other combination of risk factors for gaining weight.

    For me, I wasn't an emotional eater at all for which I'm grateful. I didn't eat when I was sad or stressed or unhappy--the closest I ever came was being too tired to cook so I would grab food somewhere. It was my low self-esteem that made me feel hopeless, that stopped me from making and adhering to positive lifestyle and eating changes that would help shed the weight. Growing up overweight, getting teased for it, even as a young child just compounded upon itself again and again. I thought any changes I tried to make would be pointless, but then I actually MADE those changes. And they weren't pointless at all. My losses already have proved that, I weigh less now at 28 than I did in Jr. High and I wear a size 18 jeans not a 22.

    Anyway, if nobody around you in real life is going through this, use this community board and take strength from us here. Many of us here have gone through what you have, we'd all love to have naturally fast metabolisms, "skinny" genes, etc. But all of us here are struggling, taking each day as it comes.

    Try to stay positive and focuses on your goals. It's okay for your motivation to falter sometimes, just do what you have to do to feel better and be more active!
  • scottacular
    scottacular Posts: 597 Member
    herrspoons wrote: »
    Ok then. Your choice.

    I don't think this is the response they were hoping for and I don't think they'll accept the point you make that it is entirely up to them.

    If you decide to quit improving your lifestyle just because others around you aren't doing the same thing, then you're punishing yourself for how others live. How you live affects you, how others live affects them. Do what you want to do, it's you who'll pay the price or reap the benefits whatever you path you choose. No one else can do this for you.
  • Reema_capricorn
    Reema_capricorn Posts: 1,032 Member
    I suffer from terrible depression and the weight gradually crept on :( I was skinny and fit till 20. A fit 55 kgs for my 5"3' frame. Now I am obese 87 kgs. I workout religiously but sometimes stumble where my diet is concerned. Also your metabolism slows down as you age. The best way to fight it is keep a clean diet and workout regularly!!
  • Leana088
    Leana088 Posts: 581 Member
    If you change your mind so quickly, then its not a lifestyle change. A lifestyle change lasts the rest of your life. Not a week or two.

    You have to want it enough. If you are doing this for other people, then that's the wrong mindset anyway. This has to be about and for you and you alone. Nobody else.
  • LKArgh
    LKArgh Posts: 5,178 Member
    It sounds like you need to see a therapist. Regardless of what you do with your weight goals. You sound depressed, which is not that weird if you have a long recovery from an automobile accident. I have been in your shoes, and it is an experience that changes your life, especially at a young age. A therapist could help you move past what has happened.
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
    You should go and seek medical help.

    Your view on the diet and everything else is distorted. It sounds like you are feeling sorry for yourself amd havent figured out how to diet effectively. If it were me id stop and then go back to learning how weight loss works, then work on my mindset, so I could last months and not get easily deterred.
  • sungoddess337
    sungoddess337 Posts: 62 Member
    I too have struggled with overweight since 6 years old. I am 57 but remember how my own sister and I ate the same, played the same, and she stayed slim and trim and I ballooned. Do this for you, think of why you are doing it, what do you want to achieve....most of all, small steps, much patience!
  • litzway
    litzway Posts: 32 Member
    Thanks for all the positive texts..it really helped. I'm sorry for being so childish..so stupid of me. I was so darn stressed out. I ain't gonna quit no way. I'll surely consider all the good suggestions.
    @herrspoon..internet cuddles!?!wth!!! Well..I must say even your negative text helped me to come back here. Thanks for that!
    Good luck everyone...keep helping each other. We are all on a mission afterall..to stay healthy! Take care~
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