Staying Motivated with Depression

Honey, I have so been there. I have really lived my life there over the last 4 years, I had postpartum depression with my last child, it truly last over 3 years or so, I don't know when Postpartum actually turns to depression, but there I was. I felt like I had absolutely no control over my life, so about 2 years ago, The anxiety was so awful, I couldn't control it, but I could control what I put in my mouth, so over a period of about six months, I lost 60 pounds, worst way in the world to do it, I had a total hysterectomy and over 18 months gained it all back. I don't do meal plans, I kinda take it day by day, I also make myself exercise, it's amazing what fresh air can do for you, just start out slow, go for a small walk around the block, I know for me, it's become a sense of accomplishment that I can now go about 5 miles a day, it's all due to starting out slow and really having the want to. I know that you can do this, you have to believe in yourself, even when you feel as if no one else believes in you. I do believe in you and you can do this sweet girl. Have faith in yourself. It's one day at a time, one step at a time, and small goals. You can do this.. Hugs!

sorry snowball, not snowall

I am so sorry that you are depressed. I agree with what lisacarroll said. I would also suggest that you talk to your dr/counselor about your emotional numbness and lack of motivation. You may need a medication change. There are too many medications out there to treat depression for you to walk around feeling like you are.
Depression is an disease, just like diabetes. There may be things you can do to help yourself, but you can't make it disappear. It doesn't mean that you are weak or that you are not trying. Please be kind to yourself and don't beat yourself up. Asking a person who is severely depressed to do things such as come up with a meal plan, count calories, or exercise is like asking a baby to drive a car. They can't do it!
When you can do more, you will. I have no doubt. In the meantime please fight the fight for yourself. You may not have energy to do anything other than the bare minimum, put please don't stop fighting for yourself. Call your doctor and keep calling until you are better.
Sending you hugs, understanding and wishes for peace.

[Incoming essay, sorry. My ideas are a bit scattered tonight.]

Working out regularly will boost me up a fair amount. So I made a rule that I workout every day (assuming I'm not, you know, bleeding in the hospital). If I'm not well, my workout is more like restorative yoga. But I still show up to it and go through all of it. (And if I skip it, I relapse, which I learned right quick, so there's some underlying motivation for me.)

I follow the rule. There is no "do I feel like this" or "should I", it does not matter if I am tired or if I do not want to. I don't have to be motivated. Which is good, because when I'm in the thick of it, of course I will not be motivated.

In the moment, I take it small. Step 1 is stand up. You can't argue against that. Step 2 is change into workout clothes. Etc. Eventually, I mean, I'm dressed, I'm on the yoga mat, the videos have been pulled up. What else am I gonna do? One foot in front of the other.

I also second pre-planning and schedules. I know it's hard, especially if "the real you" is very flexible. But generally, people with mental health problems benefit a great deal from routine.

Take your mental energy seriously. It is in short supply. Routines, schedules, habits. Plans to follow. Anything that reduces making choices/decisions in the moment will conserve energy, so you don't need to have energy to give. If you have any routines that you've slipped on, rise up to follow them again. Get up when you're supposed to. Brush your teeth when you're supposed to. Etc. And don't compare yourself to others, or judge yourself against ideals. You don't have to eat the pinnacle of healthy. If pouring a bowl of cereal every day at exactly 8:30 am helps you with routine, has minimal stress, fits in your calorie goals, ensures you DO eat, etc, then who cares what's in the cereal? This is a great start, and it works for now. You can graduate to omelettes or whatever some other time.

I definitely second starting small. I did a month of daily yoga before I tackled anything else. All I had to do was get my butt on the mat and hit play on the daily video. That's it. There really could be no excuses for not managing that. Then I moved on to a tougher routine that requires a bit more oomph out of me. Then I started logging food (set at maintenance on MFP). Then my goal was to eat lower calories than the day previous. Then at or below maintenance. I actually still have it set at maintenance, and I just do the deficit I feel I can for the day.

Meal planning can be helpful too. I know it sounds like MORE work but it's more like... working yourself up to putting in a bit of time on the weekend, and then you can feed yourself regularly all week with very little time input and absolutely no having to make choices and see what you have ingredients for and on and on. Come up with template meals, and plan which days have what. Buy that. Do any pre-prep you can (pre-chop, pre-cook, etc). If Monday night is chicken and broccoli on your schedule, then it is. No inner dialogue about it, no wondering what you want or what you feel like making or whatever. Blindly follow. Calendar says chicken and broccoli, so you put that in the pan with some oil and herbs/spices/onions or whatever, and turn the burner on. There, dinner.

But pick one change to make and make it. When that is more automatic, pick another. I doubt you have enough mental energy to go any faster, and there's no point in setting yourself up to crash and burn. You will totally live if you integrate some yoga first and keep eating however, and then tackle eating in a few weeks, like I did. (Or vice versa.)

Oh, and open the curtains. Get outside if you can, but get as much natural light onto you throughout the day as you can, however you can. Eat breakfast while facing the window if you have to.

It might sound lame, but it helped me to print out a bunch of motivational sayings and posters and hang them around my room/bed. Even taping up a paper that says YOU'VE GOTTA DO THIS helped. My alarms have things like D'YOU REALLY WANNA FAIL OUT OF SCHOOL OR D'YOU WANNA GET UP, which is somewhat harsh on myself, but I see it somewhat humorously. Just keep going.

When I stop completely, like don't go to the gym for 4-5 days, it's so easy for me to think that I should just never go again. Even though it makes me feel better once I'm there, it's not routine anymore, so my motivation is gone. Make a calendar, fill it out in detail, know what your day entails. Give yourself room to breathe--a day or two out of the gym or off-calorie isn't the end of the world--but set up things to kick you in the butt.

It also helped me to have a small reward system to keep me motivated. Like, at -10 pounds, I could dye my hair, moving onto bigger things. -30 lbs, get a new swimsuit. -50 lbs, get new shoes. Stuff like that. The hard part of that is keeping yourself on that schedule. It's so easy to think, "but the shoes are on sale now...", so that's why I've found having a friend to gently remind and motivate me helps.

It's 1:30 am, so this is probably really disorganized--sorry for that. Just don't give up.

Exercise can be a blessing and give you structure. It is well known for being able to cure mild forms of depression. Too many people overcomplicate matters on these forums and dont see things clearly. Would agree with the above on baby steps, but you have to be able to motivate yourself enough to be aware and want to make small changes.