We broke up because...
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I thought he was a real teddy bear I took him everywhere.... he wasn't impressed
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She kept shoving her dirty socks in my mouth!0
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wouldnt keep quiet ;p0
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she wouldnt let me on her zombie apocalypse team0
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thought zombies were real0
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Was misinformed0
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she got carried off by zombies, I thought they weren't real !!!???0
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They hog the covers0
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zombies use covers??0
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he turned into a zombie0
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She tried eating my brains... and my leg
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she wouldn't share here last leg0
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She didn't like me giving her love bites!0
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I once again found out she was biting other people!
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Couldn't remember where I like to be bitten.0
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she would only give me Dr Pepper when i actually wanted Fanta0
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Didnt look enough like tom hanks0
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Wouldn't tell me what she looks like.0
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Couldn't stop sticking out his tongue0
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She didnt like french kisses!
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she licked everything! 0
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she didnt let me lick her enough ;p0
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He tried to lick my Boss at the Company Christmas party!0
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Tried to get her a promotion, it failed0
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She took all my shoes......the audacity!!0
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never wore shoes blamed it on the ex
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NEVER trimmed his toenails0
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Ripped up the bed sheets with toenails0
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She smoked too much weed0
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