looking for support. have difficulty eating

Ok, so I'm not criticisising or being judgmental... just trying to call it like I see it. And if you're anything like me, you don't want it sugar coated...

First things first... Depression is going to probably require you to see some sort of medical professional... you're going to have to get to the root cause of it first if you want to get rid of it, or least manage it properly... And it definitely sounds like you have some mental issues about food that you need to deal with as well.

Secondly, I don't know your stats, but if you're a 34 year old, 5 ft, female... then I'd estimate a healthy body weight is going to be somewhere around 120 - 130 lbs. With that you're looking a BMR of 1170 - 1210 calories a day. If your lifestyle is sedentary, you're looking at about 1400 - 1450 calories for weight maintenance a day. (there are loads of online calculators to work this stuff out.) So at present (if you're a 34 year old female at 5 ft and aiming at a body weight of about 120 lbs), the best case scenario puts you at a 200 calorie deficit, average at 800 and worst case at 1400. So you definitely need to make up those calories. Not knowing your stats makes it a bit difficult to estimate, but you should be able to ascertain where you stand in terms of how far you are from a healthy weight for your size and frame.

When it comes to gallbladder issues, I really know nothing... All I know is that there are certain foods that you have to stay away from completely, although what exactly they are I don't know. However, there should be a well researched diet plan for gallbladder issues somewhere on the net. Even YouTube might be a good place to look. I'm sure somebody will have a channel about gallbladder issues. There's almost nothing you can't find on YouTube nowadays. Failing that, a doctor or dietician should be able to help. In fact the dietician should even be able to work out a good eating plan for you.

So based on a 34 year old female at 5ft, to maintain a body weight of about 120 lbs:

Here is what I'd do...

One of your major hurdles at the moment is that you've essentially starved yourself for months, if not years, so your stomach will have shrunk significantly making it more difficult to get your calories in, especially on a traditional 3 meals a day diet. So avoiding foods that aggravate digestive issues for you is going to be number 1. Second you're going to want to break up you 1400 maintenance calories into 4 or 5 smaller meals and say about 2 snacks so that you're looking at about 250 - 300 calories per main meal and about 100 calories per snack. That should be manageable. It takes some planning to get the meals spaced right, but at least that way you'll get in the calories. So I'd start with hitting the calorie goals either daily or weekly averaged for about 2 - 3 weeks. Once you've done that successfully I'd look at increasing the calories every week by 100 if you're still losing weight or feel you're not gaining what you should. That should give your body and stomach time to adjust to the increase. Since you have digestive issues, I'm guessing that you'll probably have to stay on a 4-5 meals a day eating plan to make sure you don't overtax your system. If you're hitting the calorie goal consistently and you've gained a couple of pounds and maybe fearing excessive weight gain, you can start easing into some cardiovascular exercise. I'd suggest starting off with walking a relatively short distance 2 - 3 times a week to ease the body into it. Maybe a leisurely walk around the block or in a park. And every week or every 2 weeks add a little more distance as you get used to it and you can even increase the frequency. If you're unmotivated to do it, make it a family event and get your husband and daughter to come along. You are then, however, going to have to take the increased activity into account and determine your maintenance calories again and adjust for gains if you still want/need to gain. (Increased activity should help a little with the depression too.) If you are having issues with joints, bones, etc. and considering your recent history of malnutrition... taking a multivitamin will help boost you energy levels to a certain extent as well as boost you immune system... a calcium supplement (with vitamin k for proper absorption) will help with bone and joint density... and getting enough omega 3 fatty acids in your diet will help "oil the joints", support the nervous system and help with cardiovascular health.


Please note:

I am not a doctor, dietician, personal trainer or fitness and well being expert. I have merely described what I would do.
Not being involved in the medical profession in any way I would suggest that you speak to a psychologist about your depression and what seems to be mental issues about food. And I definitely think that should be priority number 1 and have a suspicion that the majority of your problems probably stem from there. (Again, I'm not a medical professional so I may be wrong about that. However, from your description that seems to be the case.)
If you can afford it, I would also suggest you that you see a GP and/or dietician to ascertain your current health status and about a proper diet for someone with a removed gallbladder. I'm no expert in the field, but logically I would think a 4-5 or 5-6 meals a day eating plan would not be too taxing on your digestive system as you're not overloading at a single sitting. And it should also help you hit your calorie goal as you probably can't fit that much food in your stomach at a single sitting.

I hope this helps... It would be cool if you let me know what you end up doing and whether you found anything helpful... Chances are I've said a lot of things you're already aware of. But do let me know how it goes. Hang in there and best of luck

She needs a nutritionist to help get her calories up through drinking calories and eventually getting into solid food etc..

MFP members should not interfere with a true medical condition as a medical doctor, nutritionist/dietician are what is needed here.