feeling guilty
ksommer13
Posts: 20 Member
So everyone keeps telling me to either have a cheat day or once a week have a small amount of something so I bought a small amount of dark chocolate covered nuts. I only ate part of what I bought and I feel so guilty. I even exercised when I got home hoping it would make me feel better... It didn't. Does anyone else get like this and if so what do you do?
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Replies
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So everyone keeps telling me to either have a cheat day or once a week have a small amount of something so I bought a small amount of dark chocolate covered nuts. I only ate part of what I bought and I feel so guilty. I even exercised when I got home hoping it would make me feel better... It didn't. Does anyone else get like this and if so what do you do?
First, you shouldn't do what "everyone" tells you to do. You should figure out what works for you and what has worked for other people who have accomplished their goals.
Second, did the nuts fit without your calories and macros for the day? Even if they didn't, you shouldn't feel guilty. It is food. Food choices, even ones you wouldn't make again, shouldn't control your emotions.
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It's just food. You need food. You only ate a small amount of something that is actually a pretty healthy treat.
You didn't do anything wrong :-)
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Guilty about what?
I think you probably need to look at your relationships with, and how you view food.0 -
if you are feeling "guilty" about eating a "small amount" of dark chocolate nuts then you really need to reassess how you are viewing food.
The is no bad food, there is just food that fuels your body. So you can eat dark chocolate, ice cream, etc; just make sure that you also have nutrient dense foods like rice/vegetables/chicken/whole grains etc incorporated into your day and make sure that your hit calorie/macro/micro targets.
here is what you should ask yourself…
did I go over on calories?
did I hit my macro and micro targets?
If the answer to the first is no, and the answer to the second is yes then there is nothing wrong….
and even if you did go over on calories or not hit your macro/micros then that is nothing to feel guilty about….
if you can't get over these guilty feeling then you may need to get professional help.0 -
From my own experience, it sounds like your on a path to bingeing. It sounds like you cut out the things you like to eat completely. That's likely not something you can sustain forever.
What works for me is to just eat at my maintainance calories or slightly over once in a while. Never hurt my progress. Just gives you a nice mental break.0 -
janejellyroll wrote: »So everyone keeps telling me to either have a cheat day or once a week have a small amount of something so I bought a small amount of dark chocolate covered nuts. I only ate part of what I bought and I feel so guilty. I even exercised when I got home hoping it would make me feel better... It didn't. Does anyone else get like this and if so what do you do?
First, you shouldn't do what "everyone" tells you to do. You should figure out what works for you and what has worked for other people who have accomplished their goals.
Second, did the nuts fit without your calories and macros for the day? Even if they didn't, you shouldn't feel guilty. It is food. Food choices, even ones you wouldn't make again, shouldn't control your emotions.
I stayed under my calories for the day. That's what's so annoying. I kno I should feel bad but I feel like I let myself down0 -
I suggest talking to a therapist.0
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janejellyroll wrote: »So everyone keeps telling me to either have a cheat day or once a week have a small amount of something so I bought a small amount of dark chocolate covered nuts. I only ate part of what I bought and I feel so guilty. I even exercised when I got home hoping it would make me feel better... It didn't. Does anyone else get like this and if so what do you do?
First, you shouldn't do what "everyone" tells you to do. You should figure out what works for you and what has worked for other people who have accomplished their goals.
Second, did the nuts fit without your calories and macros for the day? Even if they didn't, you shouldn't feel guilty. It is food. Food choices, even ones you wouldn't make again, shouldn't control your emotions.
I stayed under my calories for the day. That's what's so annoying. I kno I should feel bad but I feel like I let myself down
Shouldn't** feel bad0 -
janejellyroll wrote: »So everyone keeps telling me to either have a cheat day or once a week have a small amount of something so I bought a small amount of dark chocolate covered nuts. I only ate part of what I bought and I feel so guilty. I even exercised when I got home hoping it would make me feel better... It didn't. Does anyone else get like this and if so what do you do?
First, you shouldn't do what "everyone" tells you to do. You should figure out what works for you and what has worked for other people who have accomplished their goals.
Second, did the nuts fit without your calories and macros for the day? Even if they didn't, you shouldn't feel guilty. It is food. Food choices, even ones you wouldn't make again, shouldn't control your emotions.
I stayed under my calories for the day. That's what's so annoying. I kno I should feel bad but I feel like I let myself down
based on this response, I suggest talking to a therapist or something…
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janejellyroll wrote: »So everyone keeps telling me to either have a cheat day or once a week have a small amount of something so I bought a small amount of dark chocolate covered nuts. I only ate part of what I bought and I feel so guilty. I even exercised when I got home hoping it would make me feel better... It didn't. Does anyone else get like this and if so what do you do?
First, you shouldn't do what "everyone" tells you to do. You should figure out what works for you and what has worked for other people who have accomplished their goals.
Second, did the nuts fit without your calories and macros for the day? Even if they didn't, you shouldn't feel guilty. It is food. Food choices, even ones you wouldn't make again, shouldn't control your emotions.
I stayed under my calories for the day. That's what's so annoying. I kno I should feel bad but I feel like I let myself down
based on this response, I suggest talking to a therapist or something…
I meant to say shouldn't feel bad.0 -
Take a deep breath, and remind yourself that one tiny treat you feel guilty about is NOT going to hurt your goals. You tried something that works for others, but it didn't for you, so now you know that the usual 'cheat treats' aren't part of your current plan. Use that knowledge. Some people keep a small treat like chocolate around for when they need it once in a blue moon, not for every week. Others use something they feel less guilty about as their 'cheat treat', like a fruit that is more expensive, or eating steak for dinner instead of chicken. The point is for you to either reward having been good all week (short term goal success) or to make sure you are still enjoying food and not being overly obsessive about it. Heck, it might not be something you do now, but something you start to incorporate months from now. The right thing for you is what works for YOU, not everyone else.0
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I stayed under my calories for the day. That's what's so annoying. I kno I should feel bad but I feel like I let myself down
Wait, why should you feel bad?
It sounds like you are starting down an unhappy (and unproductive) road. It's food, collections of calories and nutrients. Chocolate isn't forbidden. Nuts aren't forbidden. You can find a way to eat both and lose weight and be healthy. You are stressing about something that doesn't require stress.
If these feelings are regular for you, I suggest professional help.
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There's nothing wrong with what you did. I work some type of dessert into my calories every day because I would most likely binge on it if I didn't. I agree that maybe you should speak with someone about your issues with food, as guilt from eating a treat is not healthy.0
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As many people have stated, I would highly suggest you talk to someone about it. Feeling guilty for such a trivial thing, especially to the point where you still haven't been able to shake it, is not a good sign.
You asked if anyone else gets like this? Yes. I have. And now, as suggested above, I've sought out and am receiving professional help. If you ignore it and let it continue, you could be headed down a slippery slope that leads to quite the hellish existence.
I'm really sorry that you're experiencing these feelings. But they are a sign that you need to step back for a moment and find someone who can help you figure them out.
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Your relationship with food is wrong and you need to adjust or it will cause you problems.
When someone tells you to do something then you should be asking them why and weigh up whther it fits your goals. Cheat days ate personal, but if you have one then accept those calories consumed don disappear and you will have to make up for it somewhere along the line.
Having a small treat or a meal to ive yourself a break can be fine, its just one meal and soemtimes you need to relax, which is a benefit in itself. Getting too stressed about sticking to targets can be counterproductive and may make you miserable or make you crash out.
What you have done is great and 100% on the path to a successful diet in that you are still within your allorment plus you even made extra room with exercise. Having a treat can get your spirits up and making it more bearable. Chill out and dont worry, you are at deficit which is what matters. If you cant see this then you probably do need to go and see a therapist to deal with your relationship with food.0 -
Take a deep breath, and remind yourself that one tiny treat you feel guilty about is NOT going to hurt your goals. You tried something that works for others, but it didn't for you, so now you know that the usual 'cheat treats' aren't part of your current plan. Use that knowledge. Some people keep a small treat like chocolate around for when they need it once in a blue moon, not for every week. Others use something they feel less guilty about as their 'cheat treat', like a fruit that is more expensive, or eating steak for dinner instead of chicken. The point is for you to either reward having been good all week (short term goal success) or to make sure you are still enjoying food and not being overly obsessive about it. Heck, it might not be something you do now, but something you start to incorporate months from now. The right thing for you is what works for YOU, not everyone else.There's nothing wrong with what you did. I work some type of dessert into my calories every day because I would most likely binge on it if I didn't. I agree that maybe you should speak with someone about your issues with food, as guilt from eating a treat is not healthy.
Thank you
I think I've just been focusing so much and seeing results I just didn't want to mess it up. I've never been overweight until about two yrs ago and before then I could eat anything. So I'm just trying to figure the best plan for a better healthier me! 0 -
A little bit of dark chocolate isn't going to "mess up" anything, and it's certainly nothing to feel guilty over. I eat a square of Ghirardelli dark chocolate every night. (Current fave: Dark Cherry Tango).0
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personally, when i have a cheat day, i don't log my food at all. well, nearly don't log most of it.
secondly, i barely have a planned cheat day. i know that life will throw me enough curve balls that a cheat day will just happen every so often.
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Thank you I think I've just been focusing so much and seeing results I just didn't want to mess it up. I've never been overweight until about two yrs ago and before then I could eat anything. So I'm just trying to figure the best plan for a better healthier me!
You're welcome! This is a great opportunity for you to reflect on what YOU enjoy in food, and how different types of food make you feel. Guilty is not a good emotion, but it is going to happen and you are going to have to conquer it. I realized long ago that I genuinely enjoy things like a big spinach salad with lots of fresh veggies so much more than sweets. That means I get to treat myself to my favorite foods every day and I don't need a regular cheat day. Do I occasionally still eat sweets? Yes, but they don't have a reward factor for me that most people get. If I ever had a binge trigger food it would definitely be fancy cheese (thankfully, people don't thow big chunks of Dubliner out at parties the way they do cake). Figure out the foods that reward you and the ones that you could sit and eat to excess and work to out a plan to include them in your life in a healthy way.0 -
Thank you I think I've just been focusing so much and seeing results I just didn't want to mess it up. I've never been overweight until about two yrs ago and before then I could eat anything. So I'm just trying to figure the best plan for a better healthier me!
You're welcome! This is a great opportunity for you to reflect on what YOU enjoy in food, and how different types of food make you feel. Guilty is not a good emotion, but it is going to happen and you are going to have to conquer it. I realized long ago that I genuinely enjoy things like a big spinach salad with lots of fresh veggies so much more than sweets. That means I get to treat myself to my favorite foods every day and I don't need a regular cheat day. Do I occasionally still eat sweets? Yes, but they don't have a reward factor for me that most people get. If I ever had a binge trigger food it would definitely be fancy cheese (thankfully, people don't thow big chunks of Dubliner out at parties the way they do cake). Figure out the foods that reward you and the ones that you could sit and eat to excess and work to out a plan to include them in your life in a healthy way.
I think that's what made me feel so guilty is how hard it was to stop eating them. So instead of feeling proud of myself for putting them down it scared me to see how easy it would b to over eat.0 -
Its food for goodness sake. Thats why they ask you to regard it as a lifestyle change not some tightrope walk, where there will be enormous consequences if you stray.0
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I think that's what made me feel so guilty is how hard it was to stop eating them. So instead of feeling proud of myself for putting them down it scared me to see how easy it would b to over eat.
When I first started losing weight, I gave my bag of chocolate squares to my daughter. She hid them in her room and would dole out one to me each night, as if I were Oliver Twist, LOL.
After a while I came to appreciate and savor that one square and now I don't have to have them hidden from me anymore.
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It sounds like you definitely need to work on a way to include things that are hard to put down in a way that is easy for you to stop at a reasonable quantity, and work on your relationship with that food. Working through those feelings is an important part of developing self control and a happier, healthier you. Also, really consider WHY you are guilty. Is it because you enjoyed it? Is it because you wanted more? Is it because some part of your brain let this food have such an overpowering control over you? When you understand your guilt, it is a lot easier to process into a healthier emotion and a successful plan. I sat with a friend at an Overeaters Anonymous meeting and realized that I had a lot of the same issues with food as many of the people there, I just didn't have the emotional triggers on top of my bad food relationships that many of them did. It was a huge eye opener about how I approached food and how I tackled food related problems.0
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Dam*%t, it's just a feeling. We all have feelings. What do you want? To not feel anything. So what if you ate some chocolate covered things? Get over it and move on. Quit wallowing in your unhealthy thoughts over nothing. If you are going to worry about every little bit of food like this, you might as well ask someone for some help with getting an eating disorder. Is that what you want??? If you don't have more important things to worry about in life, you must not be doing anything in life. Maybe someone is even taking care of you. Let go of useless stuff. Work on important things instead. This is so *kitten*)$@ silly and stupid.-3
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Dam*%t, it's just a feeling. We all have feelings. What do you want? To not feel anything. So what if you ate some chocolate covered things? Get over it and move on. Quit wallowing in your unhealthy thoughts over nothing. If you are going to worry about every little bit of food like this, you might as well ask someone for some help with getting an eating disorder. Is that what you want??? If you don't have more important things to worry about in life, you must not be doing anything in life. Maybe someone is even taking care of you. Let go of useless stuff. Work on important things instead. This is so *kitten*)$@ silly and stupid.
The mean one speaks truth
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So everyone keeps telling me to either have a cheat day or once a week have a small amount of something so I bought a small amount of dark chocolate covered nuts. I only ate part of what I bought and I feel so guilty. I even exercised when I got home hoping it would make me feel better... It didn't. Does anyone else get like this and if so what do you do?
If you're incorporating chocolate it should be because you want to eat chocolate, not because other people are telling you that you should eat chocolate.
That said, it is hard enough to maintain a calorie deficit. One should not have to make themselves suffer more than that by avoiding foods they love and choking down foods they hate.
You can certainly meet your macro targets AND eat delicious foods AND maintain your deficit. In developed nations you're not going to have much trouble hitting your micro targets unless you aren't eating a varied diet (i.e. eating all your calories in, say, only chocolate, or only apples).
There is no good reason to make yourself more miserable than you have to. You quite likely won't get any meaningful extra credit for it, either.
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When you have a cheat, who are you cheating? And why?
It is about lifestyle... Patience and time.0 -
relationships with food are complicated. guilt is sometimes a part of that with some people. the most important thing to remember is that every day you can start over. if you feel bad about the candy, wake up the next day and try again. keep in mind that you can't give-up all foods FOREVER = that is impossible. you must always be able to incorporate foods and eventually work through your guilt. hang in there.0
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Dam*%t, it's just a feeling. We all have feelings. What do you want? To not feel anything. So what if you ate some chocolate covered things? Get over it and move on. Quit wallowing in your unhealthy thoughts over nothing. If you are going to worry about every little bit of food like this, you might as well ask someone for some help with getting an eating disorder. Is that what you want??? If you don't have more important things to worry about in life, you must not be doing anything in life. Maybe someone is even taking care of you. Let go of useless stuff. Work on important things instead. This is so *kitten*)$@ silly and stupid.
Why do u need to b that way. It's a question on a weight loss site. That's what this site it for. I take care of myslef and have plenty of real issues. This is just a small one that I was just trying to get feed back on. If u can't b a normal understanding person then y write anything at all. I wish I could b as judgemental as u but unfortunately I'm an understanding person because all I have been threw.
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You can eat whatever you like that us within your range. Just make sure to get all your nutrients for high energy. I personally have a cheat meal or food here or there on the weekends. I just make sure to log it. Last weekend it was 1000 cals of taco bell. Last night it was 1200 cals at red lobster (I add 5% to restaurants to account for innacuracies). I am still 5'6 119#. A few cheat foods did not change that. And that brownie a la mode was good! (I knew it was 400 cals going in...)0
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