Feeling unmotivated.....

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LilleanC
LilleanC Posts: 20 Member
in Motivation and Support
Last Friday this guy came to my office and the things he said to me made me feel so bad. I come from a plus size family, I mean all the females in my family are plus size (mother,sisters; all 6 of them, aunts,nieces etc.) and this guy is telling me why did I have to get so thin and that I was insulting my family. He made fun of my face slimming down and my behind being flat. He even went further as to say my gym girlfriends are not "for" me because even when they're seeing I'm getting so small they wouldn't tell me stop. For one I am NOT thin as you can see in my profile pic. I mean I have lost 37 lbs but that doesn't make me thin. I am 168 lbs. I do want to reach my goal of 158 lbs but why does everyone around me keep making me feel bad about the weight that I've lost. Sometimes I do want to curse them because I'm know I'm not doing any of this for anyone but myself but it's really beginning to get to me. What do I do.

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  • crnewman20
    crnewman20 Posts: 1
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    Remind them and yourself that it's not about the way you look but the way you feel and the potential savings of your health!!!! Being at an unhealthy weight can lead to a multitude of expensive and life threatening health problems! You got this!!!
  • LilleanC
    LilleanC Posts: 20 Member
    edited March 2015
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    Thanks much but still can't wrapped my head around why people think I'm too skinny
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
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    Wow. Unless this guy is you 98-yr-of grandfather who might drop dead any day now, I would take a serious step back from this relationship. If you can't do that, at least try to talk to him, there may be some underlying issues that you may or may not be able to resolve.
  • PinkyPan1
    PinkyPan1 Posts: 3,018 Member
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    You look lovely and "WOW". I have heard rude remarks too and guess what? These remarks are not about us at all. These are all about the individual who is spewing this crap at you. Hold your held high and continue take care of yourself. :smile:
  • Mrsfreedom41
    Mrsfreedom41 Posts: 330 Member
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    Don't let those people get to you. You are doing this for yourself and no one else.
  • JimFsfitnesspal
    JimFsfitnesspal Posts: 313 Member
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    You are strong in mind and body by the looks of your pictures and the fact you lost 37 pounds. I have no doubt that you will carry on despite the negativity. You are or will be an inspiration to your family.
  • LilleanC
    LilleanC Posts: 20 Member
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    jennifer_417 wrote: »
    Wow. Unless this guy is you 98-yr-of grandfather who might drop dead any day now, I would take a serious step back from this relationship. If you can't do that, at least try to talk to him, there may be some underlying issues that you may or may not be able to resolve.

    This guy isn't in any way related to me. I know him but not like friends or anything. He lives opposite our gym.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
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    LilleanC wrote: »
    Thanks much but still can't wrapped my head around why people think I'm too skinny
    I've read this is actually fairly common with people who lose a lot of weight. It's not that you're necessarily skinny, it's just such a contrast from how you used to look that people interpret it that way.

  • LilleanC
    LilleanC Posts: 20 Member
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    jennifer_417 wrote: »
    LilleanC wrote: »
    Thanks much but still can't wrapped my head around why people think I'm too skinny
    I've read this is actually fairly common with people who lose a lot of weight. It's not that you're necessarily skinny, it's just such a contrast from how you used to look that people interpret it that way.

    Oh okay. Because I can remember he did say I look like a totally different person. I mean I know I look different but people can still see it's me and he didn't have to be so harsh saying it.
  • slideaway1
    slideaway1 Posts: 1,006 Member
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    You look great. Well done on your weight loss. Pay no attention to negative people, they are sent to test you.
  • wishiwasarunner
    wishiwasarunner Posts: 202 Member
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    "Insulting your family"? - your "behind being too flat?" - I suspect he felt threatened by you becoming healthier and rejecting what he sees as the expected norm for what you see as a healthier choice. I have very pale skin so I am risking extreme backlash here - but it sounds like he was really trying to heap some race guilt on you to keep you supporting a stereotype. Your profile page talks about you wanting to be healthier and be around for your daughter's wedding. It sounds to me like you have the right motives and he is just threatened. I am sorry that you had to go through that - but you are right - let him deal with his own issues and you can just keep making healthy choices.
  • ForeverSunshine09
    ForeverSunshine09 Posts: 966 Member
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    I am sorry but, if anyone ever talked to me that way I would have made them leave with a bloody nose. These are toxic ppl and will probably continue to talk like an ahole til you make him stop. I guess I am just not the ignoring type.
  • LilleanC
    LilleanC Posts: 20 Member
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    wishiwasarunner wrote: »
    "Insulting your family"? - your "behind being too flat?" - I suspect he felt threatened by you becoming healthier and rejecting what he sees as the expected norm for what you see as a healthier choice. I have very pale skin so I am risking extreme backlash here - but it sounds like he was really trying to heap some race guilt on you to keep you supporting a stereotype. Your profile page talks about you wanting to be healthier and be around for your daughter's wedding. It sounds to me like you have the right motives and he is just threatened. I am sorry that you had to go through that - but you are right - let him deal with his own issues and you can just keep making healthy choices.

    He said that because all my family/relatives are "big" then it makes no sense trying to be otherwise because I will only end up putting it back on. I guess his one of those who believes being fat is genetic
  • wishiwasarunner
    wishiwasarunner Posts: 202 Member
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    Certainly there are things about genetics that can make it more difficult to lose weight. I still think the parts of the conversation you included make him sound threatened by your weight loss. You know, if you can do this despite genetics and it works for you, then maybe it is not all about genetics and he could do it too - or others could. Regardless, I agree with others, this sounds like it is more about him than you. Best of luck with your health and getting this out of your head.
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
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    Lol honestly I assume you are aiming for a healthy BMI and losing the weight makes you feel better. Its your life and happiness no theirs. Gormless men often tease and ignorant ones behave like *kitten* I'd just tell him to do one and ignore him. You are doing brilliant dont let anyone else tell you otherwise.

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