I hate my body
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As an odd on to my earlier post, there are ways to dress to hide your body's "flaws" while you work on losing weight. If you aren't happy with the way your arms look, wear loose sleeves long enough to cover the parts you don't want seen.
I dislike a bulge I have where my arms meet my torso so I avoid wearing spaghetti straps alone or anything which doesn't cover that area. I have acne scarring across the top of my back so I never wear anything backless either. For work attire I mostly wear button up shirts with princess seaming, which are more slimming, and hide the little bulge around my bra strap.
It's not that difficult to use fashion to work with your perceived flaws rather than against them. If it helps us to feel more confident when we're in public then why not use it to our advantage?
I don't think 'hiding' is the answer either. Learning to love your body is the answer. Learning to dress to flatter your body is a good thing, also. Don't hide it. We all have flaws, so don't hide them. Just be you.0 -
You can do it! Most people have issues with cravings and figuring out what strategies work for them. One strategy I use (and maybe your strategy is different, but this works for me) is to make sure to allow enough calories at the end of the day for a food I crave. It takes a lot of discipline during the day, but it helps motivate me to stay on track for that day.
If you eat really carefully, you can have room at the end of the day for one normal, non-diety treat and still lose weight. I only ever buy one serving of something that's a treat, for example, exactly one candy bar bought on the way home and that is my treat for the day.
I'm not saying you have to do this. Just saying that I believe you are smart, and you can try a few strategies, log them in MFP and figure out something that works for you.
There are plenty of ways to strategize around your unique brain and body. A trick that works for one person may not be the other's cup of tea.
There are many people on here losing weight on plans that would make me nuts. This one works for me. Good luck!0 -
This made me really sad to read
I know how hard it is to accept yourself, especially when you don't like what you see in the mirror. I struggle with this daily, as well. I won't give you some cliche speech or anything, but please just know you are not alone in how you feel, and that there are always people here (ME!) if you wish to reach out and talk to someone! Also, please know that SO MANY people struggle with cravings and eating at night and all of that. It's very difficult to lose weight and to balance eating and hunger with remaining healthy. You CAN do it and you can get to a place where you are happy with who you are. Just please never give up on yourself. 0 -
I've hated my body forever, too. Even when I was scrawny. When I was scrawny, my thighs and butt were big, my boobs were too small, my teeth were crooked, and my head looked too small for my body. Now, I'm 20 pounds heavier and my thighs and butt are still big, my boobs are still too small, my teeth are still crooked, and my head still looks too small for my body. I'm too tall. I'm too broad-shouldered. Some people can just always find something that they hate. I especially hate photographs of myself. There's a chance this may be a self-esteem issue beyond weight loss for you, so I would start making note of good days now, to remind yourself of the times you did like your body. Also, when it comes to photos, remember that we don't exist in a stasis, and whatever flaw you see frozen in time in the picture, most people never noticed because in real time, you're probably fine.
Maybe getting in shape or losing weight will change your perception of your body, but maybe not. You don't have to love your body. You don't have to like how it looks. You should appreciate your body for what it is and what it can do, but don't feel pressured to view your body as "beautiful"; lots of people don't, and that's not abnormal.0 -
I'm there with you, if you want to be weight loss buddies then just add me (:0
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Darling, the world is full of people ready to put you down. Don't do it to yourself. Appreciate your body for what it can do.0
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The reality is that if you really wanted to do it bad enough, you'd do what it takes. Abstaining from what you like to eat isn't the answer. Restricting HOW MUCH you eat is.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
To me this is a little harsh... and yes although some of this or all of this is truth in this... a little personal touch and some tact in how you say things can go along ways...
Don't we really want to help someone or do we just want to speak out a lot of knowledge that may or may not make sense.... MFP members are guilty of that a lot (including me)...
We tend to jump in (as experienced weight losers, fitness gurus) and just say do it or just stop... I read a thread earlier and I am guilty of this too.. you may think people are looking for a reason to vent or wine (and maybe some are) but sometimes you can pick up that someone is trying or wanting to get started... the OP did setup a an account in MFP..
To the OP, if you have a question or need advice how to get started or where to find research on certain questions you may have... you will get some advice or kind words from most... Add me if you need a MFP friend..
Tough love goes a long way.0 -
This is an 18-year-old girl who has only 20 lbs. to lose and is ashamed to walk around a shopping mall. I agree that "tough love" might be on the harsh side here. How do we even know this girl really needs to lose 20 lbs. That kind of body shame sounds like body dysmorphia. I'm a shortie and I've been 20 lbs overweight (and at my height it really shows!), and I was never ashamed to go out in public.0
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Yeah I'm just not happy with myself. When I go to the mall every woman I see is skinny. I ask myself why can't I be them. It sucks.You need to learn to love your body whatever its shape. It's the only one you're ever going to have. You can be dissatisfied with it but you have to learn to love it and take care of it no matter how it looks. Time is going to change it. Surgeries happen, babies happen. Our bodies change over time in ways your 18 year old self can't imagine. I know my 18 year old self couldn't.
When I was your age I hated mine, too. I had just graduated high school. I was 20 pounds overweight. My thighs were too big, my calves were too big. Now, I'd love to have that body back. Rather than focus on self-hate use your dissatisfaction to fuel your motivation to get into shape and create a body that you are happy with.
Use MFP to find your daily calorie goal. Log what you're eating accurately and faithfully, stay under your calorie goal and learn the calorie content of the foods you eat and the impact they are having on your body. Learn that exercising and eating healthy aren't enough to lose weight; you need to consume less calories than your body burns each day to do that. You can certainly eat the things you love as long as you can fit them into your calorie goal each day. So instead of a whole chocolate bar eat a small piece.
The understanding of the relationship between calories and weight gain is much greater than it was when I was 18. If you can figure these things out now, rather than listening to the diet industry hype, your life will be a lot easier. I wish you all the best!This is an 18-year-old girl who has only 20 lbs. to lose and is ashamed to walk around a shopping mall. I agree that "tough love" might be on the harsh side here. How do we even know this girl really needs to lose 20 lbs. That kind of body shame sounds like body dysmorphia. I'm a shortie and I've been 20 lbs overweight (and at my height it really shows!), and I was never ashamed to go out in public.
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I know how this feels. I now feel sad for my old self for feeling that way rather than 1. doing something about it and 2. celebrating what was awesome about my body then! I'm 32, have carried two babies and my body is different for it.
I know it's not easy but stop comparing yourself to others and start comparing your new self to your old self, keep tracking and EXERCISING and week by week, month by month you should become stronger and fitter.
I loved what someone else said about fashion and clothing. Dress to suit your shape. This doesn't have to mean hiding away under baggy clothes.0 -
Only you can do this.0
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barbaraaguilar435 wrote: »Yeah I'm just not happy with myself. When I go to the mall every woman I see is skinny. I ask myself why can't I be them. It sucks.You need to learn to love your body whatever its shape. It's the only one you're ever going to have. You can be dissatisfied with it but you have to learn to love it and take care of it no matter how it looks. Time is going to change it. Surgeries happen, babies happen. Our bodies change over time in ways your 18 year old self can't imagine. I know my 18 year old self couldn't.
When I was your age I hated mine, too. I had just graduated high school. I was 20 pounds overweight. My thighs were too big, my calves were too big. Now, I'd love to have that body back. Rather than focus on self-hate use your dissatisfaction to fuel your motivation to get into shape and create a body that you are happy with.
Use MFP to find your daily calorie goal. Log what you're eating accurately and faithfully, stay under your calorie goal and learn the calorie content of the foods you eat and the impact they are having on your body. Learn that exercising and eating healthy aren't enough to lose weight; you need to consume less calories than your body burns each day to do that. You can certainly eat the things you love as long as you can fit them into your calorie goal each day. So instead of a whole chocolate bar eat a small piece.
The understanding of the relationship between calories and weight gain is much greater than it was when I was 18. If you can figure these things out now, rather than listening to the diet industry hype, your life will be a lot easier. I wish you all the best!This is an 18-year-old girl who has only 20 lbs. to lose and is ashamed to walk around a shopping mall. I agree that "tough love" might be on the harsh side here. How do we even know this girl really needs to lose 20 lbs. That kind of body shame sounds like body dysmorphia. I'm a shortie and I've been 20 lbs overweight (and at my height it really shows!), and I was never ashamed to go out in public.
@barbaraaguilar435 How tall are you? And how much do you weigh?
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Yeah I'm just not happy with myself. When I go to the mall every woman I see is skinny. I ask myself why can't I be them. It sucks.
But you can be them with a little knowledge and determination. Your new buddies will help you get there. You do have to want it enough to do something about it though. Twenty pounds is a very manageable amount to lose. You could do it by the end of Summer.
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barbaraaguilar435 wrote: »Yeah I'm just not happy with myself. When I go to the mall every woman I see is skinny. I ask myself why can't I be them. It sucks
You can be them. I used to live in Minnesota. One winter I came out to San Diego for work. Watching all of these people frolicking on the beach in shorts and t-shirts while knowing I had to go back to 6 feet of snow on the ground and below freezing temperatures made me SO MAD. I thought, "why can't I be them"? And then I put all of my crap in a U-Haul and moved out here, and now I am them. The only difference between you and the women you're jealous of is what you do with your time and your energy.0 -
I feel you so much..one day at a time, like one poster wrote. one day at a time..I lost 115 pounds and then slowly as i let the habits i learned stop, i gained by 50.....50!! I am so agitated with myself! but you know what? I didn't gain 50 in one day, but i went back I know....writing things down and for me just weighing once in the am when awakening. For me, it keeps me on track. I do allow myself to have my "treat", there is no way I will never eat chocolate again, but if I have a craving, I get one bar..210 calories and write it down. I am down 5 lbs in a week but I am 314 pounds now, so I will lose a lot at first, and then slow down. Be good to yourself and I promise you that not one of those people that you think are looking at you matter. The only one who should be looking at you when you are out there walking and exercising is you. When I am in the gym and people look at me, I think..if anyone NEEDS to be here its ME....Rock on, you got this!!! Christine0
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5'2 weighing 140FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »barbaraaguilar435 wrote: »Yeah I'm just not happy with myself. When I go to the mall every woman I see is skinny. I ask myself why can't I be them. It sucks.You need to learn to love your body whatever its shape. It's the only one you're ever going to have. You can be dissatisfied with it but you have to learn to love it and take care of it no matter how it looks. Time is going to change it. Surgeries happen, babies happen. Our bodies change over time in ways your 18 year old self can't imagine. I know my 18 year old self couldn't.
When I was your age I hated mine, too. I had just graduated high school. I was 20 pounds overweight. My thighs were too big, my calves were too big. Now, I'd love to have that body back. Rather than focus on self-hate use your dissatisfaction to fuel your motivation to get into shape and create a body that you are happy with.
Use MFP to find your daily calorie goal. Log what you're eating accurately and faithfully, stay under your calorie goal and learn the calorie content of the foods you eat and the impact they are having on your body. Learn that exercising and eating healthy aren't enough to lose weight; you need to consume less calories than your body burns each day to do that. You can certainly eat the things you love as long as you can fit them into your calorie goal each day. So instead of a whole chocolate bar eat a small piece.
The understanding of the relationship between calories and weight gain is much greater than it was when I was 18. If you can figure these things out now, rather than listening to the diet industry hype, your life will be a lot easier. I wish you all the best!This is an 18-year-old girl who has only 20 lbs. to lose and is ashamed to walk around a shopping mall. I agree that "tough love" might be on the harsh side here. How do we even know this girl really needs to lose 20 lbs. That kind of body shame sounds like body dysmorphia. I'm a shortie and I've been 20 lbs overweight (and at my height it really shows!), and I was never ashamed to go out in public.
@barbaraaguilar435 How tall are you? And how much do you weigh?
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barbaraaguilar435 wrote: »Yeah I'm just not happy with myself. When I go to the mall every woman I see is skinny. I ask myself why can't I be them. It sucks
There have been a lot of encouraging posts, so my answer isn't going to focus on how you can change your stars.
But I will ask if you are truly seeing the people around you?
We are surrounded by obesity... The majority of America and Canada struggles with obesity.
So when you say "every woman you see is skinny" I wonder if maybe you aren't REALLY seeing the people around you.
I'd like to request that you post a pic of yourself. Just a regular jeans and tshirt or tank pic. I'm starting to think you need a new mirror, and we may be able to help you with that. I struggled with self hatred for a long time... And I realize now, after a lot of work, that it was not logical.
Lots of love to you.0 -
Get some professional help for this issue. It seems to be stunting your ability to get through a day.0
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I know it can be difficult at times. You just need to remember that you are able to achieve whatever goal you set yourself! You owe it to yourself to sculpt your body into one that you're not just comfortable with, but one you're actually happy with. If you need help motivating yourself, there's a lot of motivational speeches on Youtube (I personally like Eric Thomas) or you can flick through some motivational messages & quotes. I printed some of these ones off and have them on my fridge at home.
http://v8juice.co.uk/motivational-messages/
Good Luck @barbaraag0 -
I've have hated myself, too, but it was only making me miserable. I decided I needed more. I needed to love myself. I needed to be happier and healthier. So I started to take steps toward a better attitude about my body and ways to improve it.
First, you must change your mindset. Negativity gets you nowhere. Use your frustration as fuel, as motivation to change. Get through one small workout and be proud of your accomplishment! Use that to continue on! Be more mindful of what you eat. Use the food diary on MFP. It really shows you what you're really putting in your body!
Each time you reach one small goal, you will feel better about yourself! You will feel a tiny sense of accomplishment and that keeps you going! Don't try to do too much at once, but be sure to push yourself. Remind yourself that you deserve to be happy and healthy!0
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