I hate my body
barbaraaguilar435
Posts: 9
I really hate my body , I get so embarrassed to even walk around a mall with people I don't know because of my big arms. I'm trying to lose about 20 pounds and when I think about it I think it's so easy. Once it comes to the end of the day I end up eating what I've been craving all day. I need something to stop me because today I have begun my weightloss journey.
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Replies
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The reality is that if you really wanted to do it bad enough, you'd do what it takes. Abstaining from what you like to eat isn't the answer. Restricting HOW MUCH you eat is.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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You need to learn to love your body whatever its shape. It's the only one you're ever going to have. You can be dissatisfied with it but you have to learn to love it and take care of it no matter how it looks. Time is going to change it. Surgeries happen, babies happen. Our bodies change over time in ways your 18 year old self can't imagine. I know my 18 year old self couldn't.
When I was your age I hated mine, too. I had just graduated high school. I was 20 pounds overweight. My thighs were too big, my calves were too big. Now, I'd love to have that body back. Rather than focus on self-hate use your dissatisfaction to fuel your motivation to get into shape and create a body that you are happy with.
Use MFP to find your daily calorie goal. Log what you're eating accurately and faithfully, stay under your calorie goal and learn the calorie content of the foods you eat and the impact they are having on your body. Learn that exercising and eating healthy aren't enough to lose weight; you need to consume less calories than your body burns each day to do that. You can certainly eat the things you love as long as you can fit them into your calorie goal each day. So instead of a whole chocolate bar eat a small piece.
The understanding of the relationship between calories and weight gain is much greater than it was when I was 18. If you can figure these things out now, rather than listening to the diet industry hype, your life will be a lot easier. I wish you all the best!0 -
The reality is that if you really wanted to do it bad enough, you'd do what it takes. Abstaining from what you like to eat isn't the answer. Restricting HOW MUCH you eat is.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
To me this is a little harsh... and yes although some of this or all of this is truth in this... a little personal touch and some tact in how you say things can go along ways...
Don't we really want to help someone or do we just want to speak out a lot of knowledge that may or may not make sense.... MFP members are guilty of that a lot (including me)...
We tend to jump in (as experienced weight losers, fitness gurus) and just say do it or just stop... I read a thread earlier and I am guilty of this too.. you may think people are looking for a reason to vent or wine (and maybe some are) but sometimes you can pick up that someone is trying or wanting to get started... the OP did setup a an account in MFP..
To the OP, if you have a question or need advice how to get started or where to find research on certain questions you may have... you will get some advice or kind words from most... Add me if you need a MFP friend..
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think about those who do not have arms ..how basic chores is so difficult for them . Think about all the wonderful things you could do with your arms.. Are we only meant to look beautiful ???.
I ask this questions to myself. I never hurt , hate my body though even though its doesn't fit the generalized idea of beauty... I have learnt to appreciate what it does and what it is capable of doing ...0 -
You have to care for your body. I don't know many people who can care for something that they hate, their own bodies included. Your friends have their flaws, but you don't hate them for it, and you shouldn't hate your body for its flaws. You just need to focus on it more and care for it more. Your body is your baby. Care for your baby and love it - hating will not create the outcomes you want.0
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The reality is that if you really wanted to do it bad enough, you'd do what it takes. Abstaining from what you like to eat isn't the answer. Restricting HOW MUCH you eat is.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I have to agree with what you're saying.0 -
It's pretty likely that no one is walking around looking at your arms. Weight loss is a long journey, and you have to focus on that, not on self hate. Learn to love yourself for who you are, and your body for what it is - a vehicle. Take good care of it, and it will shape up and take good care of you.0
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The reality is that if you really wanted to do it bad enough, you'd do what it takes. Abstaining from what you like to eat isn't the answer. Restricting HOW MUCH you eat is.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
To me this is a little harsh... and yes although some of this or all of this is truth in this... a little personal touch and some tact in how you say things can go along ways...
Don't we really want to help someone or do we just want to speak out a lot of knowledge that may or may not make sense.... MFP members are guilty of that a lot (including me)...
We tend to jump in (as experienced weight losers, fitness gurus) and just say do it or just stop... I read a thread earlier and I am guilty of this too.. you may think people are looking for a reason to vent or wine (and maybe some are) but sometimes you can pick up that someone is trying or wanting to get started... the OP did setup a an account in MFP..
To the OP, if you have a question or need advice how to get started or where to find research on certain questions you may have... you will get some advice or kind words from most... Add me if you need a MFP friend..
It is direct ... and true. Beating around the bush is so common on MFP that a clear, direct answer gets labeled as "harsh".
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I got to the point where i was really tired of being overweight and complaining about my body and constantly picking myself apart and tearing myself down, that's when I knew I was ready. I have given in to cravings so many times, just take it a day at a time, I've lost 67 pounds, if you need someone to talk to or vent to, you can add me. I totally understand the need to get your venting out. You have to love and accept yourself and then you can make the commitment to change your body. Self hate isn't going to lose weight for you, you gotta do that on your own, but support from people that are or have been there can definitely help your motivation.0
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Calm down and set up small goals , if i fall of the track i use 14 day system, that i will exercise whatever it takes for 14 days and then again 14 days more , believe me 14 days ago i was even afraid of looking myself in mirror ,, but i feel confident now and i lost 6 lbs,, 44 more to go ,
Good luck buddy !0 -
think about those who do not have arms ..how basic chores is so difficult for them . Think about all the wonderful things you could do with your arms.. Are we only meant to look beautiful ???.
I ask this questions to myself. I never hurt , hate my body though even though its doesn't fit the generalized idea of beauty... I have learnt to appreciate what it does and what it is capable of doing ...
Same here. In the past when I'd think "I hate my legs" as soon as those words popped into my head I'd think of people who didn't have functioning legs or no legs at all. How terribly selfish and shallow of me.
OP, your body is doing wonderful, amazing things for you right now! You are able to think and type and function and are fully-abled. Your body is fantastic! Treat it so - give it the right amount of nutrients it needs and try not to punish it by overloading it and making it work to hard to digest or store unneeded food. Use your body to move and run and jump and dance!0 -
Lift weights with your arms. The shape will improve drastically over time. (while eating the right number of calories)0
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You need to learn to love your body whatever its shape. It's the only one you're ever going to have. You can be dissatisfied with it but you have to learn to love it and take care of it no matter how it looks. Time is going to change it. Surgeries happen, babies happen. Our bodies change over time in ways your 18 year old self can't imagine. I know my 18 year old self couldn't.
When I was your age I hated mine, too. I had just graduated high school. I was 20 pounds overweight. My thighs were too big, my calves were too big. Now, I'd love to have that body back. Rather than focus on self-hate use your dissatisfaction to fuel your motivation to get into shape and create a body that you are happy with.
Use MFP to find your daily calorie goal. Log what you're eating accurately and faithfully, stay under your calorie goal and learn the calorie content of the foods you eat and the impact they are having on your body. Learn that exercising and eating healthy aren't enough to lose weight; you need to consume less calories than your body burns each day to do that. You can certainly eat the things you love as long as you can fit them into your calorie goal each day. So instead of a whole chocolate bar eat a small piece.
The understanding of the relationship between calories and weight gain is much greater than it was when I was 18. If you can figure these things out now, rather than listening to the diet industry hype, your life will be a lot easier. I wish you all the best!
beautifully said :-)0 -
As an odd on to my earlier post, there are ways to dress to hide your body's "flaws" while you work on losing weight. If you aren't happy with the way your arms look, wear loose sleeves long enough to cover the parts you don't want seen.
I dislike a bulge I have where my arms meet my torso so I avoid wearing spaghetti straps alone or anything which doesn't cover that area. I have acne scarring across the top of my back so I never wear anything backless either. For work attire I mostly wear button up shirts with princess seaming, which are more slimming, and hide the little bulge around my bra strap.
It's not that difficult to use fashion to work with your perceived flaws rather than against them. If it helps us to feel more confident when we're in public then why not use it to our advantage?0 -
The reality is that if you really wanted to do it bad enough, you'd do what it takes. Abstaining from what you like to eat isn't the answer. Restricting HOW MUCH you eat is.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
To me this is a little harsh... and yes although some of this or all of this is truth in this... a little personal touch and some tact in how you say things can go along ways...
Don't we really want to help someone or do we just want to speak out a lot of knowledge that may or may not make sense.... MFP members are guilty of that a lot (including me)...
We tend to jump in (as experienced weight losers, fitness gurus) and just say do it or just stop... I read a thread earlier and I am guilty of this too.. you may think people are looking for a reason to vent or wine (and maybe some are) but sometimes you can pick up that someone is trying or wanting to get started... the OP did setup a an account in MFP..
To the OP, if you have a question or need advice how to get started or where to find research on certain questions you may have... you will get some advice or kind words from most... Add me if you need a MFP friend..
I agree... if you have knowledge it's good to share but also think that it's not so "easy" for some and encouragement along with the fact can be very helpful. We should all lift one another up, not sugar coat but be positive to one another...:-)
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You will only be able to do something about your body once you love your body! When you love someone, you go towards the person and you make yourself look your best!!! When you hate you steer away...and that's what's happening right now. First get yourself mentally prepared for this weight loss journey. Let yourself know that it'll take you a few years to get fit. Once you settle down with that thought, you can start to make weekly goals...workout goals and eating healthy goals. Then every month you will start seeing little changes! These are small but significant changes. They pile up bit by bit and you will see a more fit body. Key is to not give up!! Exception is when you are sick. Rest of the time make eating healthy & excercise your priority!0
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A little harsh......okay. But I'm betting the OP hasn't felt this way just this time. Chances are it's been an ongoing issue and many times being direct is what some need. Working in the industry, I've heard every story (or variations of it) from emotions, being unmotivated, having no support, etc.The reality is that if you really wanted to do it bad enough, you'd do what it takes. Abstaining from what you like to eat isn't the answer. Restricting HOW MUCH you eat is.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
To me this is a little harsh... and yes although some of this or all of this is truth in this... a little personal touch and some tact in how you say things can go along ways...
Don't we really want to help someone or do we just want to speak out a lot of knowledge that may or may not make sense.... MFP members are guilty of that a lot (including me)...
We tend to jump in (as experienced weight losers, fitness gurus) and just say do it or just stop... I read a thread earlier and I am guilty of this too.. you may think people are looking for a reason to vent or wine (and maybe some are) but sometimes you can pick up that someone is trying or wanting to get started... the OP did setup a an account in MFP..
To the OP, if you have a question or need advice how to get started or where to find research on certain questions you may have... you will get some advice or kind words from most... Add me if you need a MFP friend..
The one COMMON thing that people who successfully reach goal is they WANTED IT more than any obstacles and deterrences that got in their way, even if it was from people they loved.
The OP has the option to take the advice or not. Being upfront isn't being mean. Perception is the difference.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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barbaraaguilar435 wrote: »I really hate my body , I get so embarrassed to even walk around a mall with people I don't know because of my big arms. I'm trying to lose about 20 pounds and when I think about it I think it's so easy. Once it comes to the end of the day I end up eating what I've been craving all day. I need something to stop me because today I have begun my weightloss journey.
Congratulations for starting to change your life!
I know some of the replies will sound harsh, and some may sound too sweet... but in the end, rest confident in this...
YOU ARE STARTING TODAY!
Some recommendations / thoughts...
- Don't try to build Rome in a day. You didn't gain it in a day, you won't lose it in a day
- You only have 20 pounds to lose! Some start their journeys with hundreds of pounds to lose... Look how close you are to your goal!!
- Set your expectations at pounds per week to lower than MFP tempts you to go. With 20lbs to go... you can safely set your loss to 0.5lbs a week and start adjusting your diet to fit within that new calorie range
- Don't restrict too heavily, but know your limits. If you eat every donut in the house, then don't bring a dozen into the house. But if you want a donut, then plan for that donut with eating appropriately or exercising more. Allow yourself to eat what you love - just be smart about how you do that.
- Get some friends on here who will walk with you. BUT Get some who are at goal, some who aren't, some who will talk straight (the ones whose posts stings) and some who will lift your spirits.
- Log everything, honestly.
- Challenge your body physically... not just with diet, but get some hard exercise in there. Find something you love and do it with passion.
Remember... you will fall. It's ok. Just get up and start again.
I look forward to hearing great things from you!
OH... and learn to love yourself. YOU ARE MORE THAN YOUR SKIN SACK... love that person.0 -
I posted this on my own profile a couple days ago but i'll repeat it here. "This is my body...I spend so much time hating it, but it never said a bad word about me." - Tim Minchin
Don't hate your body, you and your body are a team.0 -
The reality is that if you really wanted to do it bad enough, you'd do what it takes. Abstaining from what you like to eat isn't the answer. Restricting HOW MUCH you eat is.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
To me this is a little harsh... and yes although some of this or all of this is truth in this... a little personal touch and some tact in how you say things can go along ways...
Don't we really want to help someone or do we just want to speak out a lot of knowledge that may or may not make sense.... MFP members are guilty of that a lot (including me)...
We tend to jump in (as experienced weight losers, fitness gurus) and just say do it or just stop... I read a thread earlier and I am guilty of this too.. you may think people are looking for a reason to vent or wine (and maybe some are) but sometimes you can pick up that someone is trying or wanting to get started... the OP did setup a an account in MFP..
To the OP, if you have a question or need advice how to get started or where to find research on certain questions you may have... you will get some advice or kind words from most... Add me if you need a MFP friend..
That was not harsh. It's spot on. The rest of what you typed was just window dressing. I have had an account for years now. I lost 45 because I wanted to. I stopped tracking and over ate because I no longer wanted to do what was necessary to keep losing weight. I gained back 15. Now I want it again, have lost 8 and hope to keep wanting to work hard and what's necessary to reach my ultimate goals both fitness and body fat wise.
People that really wants to put the work in (either eating less, being more active or both) are the people that succeed.
Want it and do it, OP. Even if you don't do those two things, you'd better learn to stop hating yourself because it's only going to make reaching your goals that much more difficult. Good luck.0 -
As an odd on to my earlier post, there are ways to dress to hide your body's "flaws" while you work on losing weight. If you aren't happy with the way your arms look, wear loose sleeves long enough to cover the parts you don't want seen.
I dislike a bulge I have where my arms meet my torso so I avoid wearing spaghetti straps alone or anything which doesn't cover that area. I have acne scarring across the top of my back so I never wear anything backless either. For work attire I mostly wear button up shirts with princess seaming, which are more slimming, and hide the little bulge around my bra strap.
It's not that difficult to use fashion to work with your perceived flaws rather than against them. If it helps us to feel more confident when we're in public then why not use it to our advantage?
I don't think 'hiding' is the answer either. Learning to love your body is the answer. Learning to dress to flatter your body is a good thing, also. Don't hide it. We all have flaws, so don't hide them. Just be you.0 -
You can do it! Most people have issues with cravings and figuring out what strategies work for them. One strategy I use (and maybe your strategy is different, but this works for me) is to make sure to allow enough calories at the end of the day for a food I crave. It takes a lot of discipline during the day, but it helps motivate me to stay on track for that day.
If you eat really carefully, you can have room at the end of the day for one normal, non-diety treat and still lose weight. I only ever buy one serving of something that's a treat, for example, exactly one candy bar bought on the way home and that is my treat for the day.
I'm not saying you have to do this. Just saying that I believe you are smart, and you can try a few strategies, log them in MFP and figure out something that works for you.
There are plenty of ways to strategize around your unique brain and body. A trick that works for one person may not be the other's cup of tea.
There are many people on here losing weight on plans that would make me nuts. This one works for me. Good luck!0 -
This made me really sad to read
I know how hard it is to accept yourself, especially when you don't like what you see in the mirror. I struggle with this daily, as well. I won't give you some cliche speech or anything, but please just know you are not alone in how you feel, and that there are always people here (ME!) if you wish to reach out and talk to someone! Also, please know that SO MANY people struggle with cravings and eating at night and all of that. It's very difficult to lose weight and to balance eating and hunger with remaining healthy. You CAN do it and you can get to a place where you are happy with who you are. Just please never give up on yourself. 0 -
I've hated my body forever, too. Even when I was scrawny. When I was scrawny, my thighs and butt were big, my boobs were too small, my teeth were crooked, and my head looked too small for my body. Now, I'm 20 pounds heavier and my thighs and butt are still big, my boobs are still too small, my teeth are still crooked, and my head still looks too small for my body. I'm too tall. I'm too broad-shouldered. Some people can just always find something that they hate. I especially hate photographs of myself. There's a chance this may be a self-esteem issue beyond weight loss for you, so I would start making note of good days now, to remind yourself of the times you did like your body. Also, when it comes to photos, remember that we don't exist in a stasis, and whatever flaw you see frozen in time in the picture, most people never noticed because in real time, you're probably fine.
Maybe getting in shape or losing weight will change your perception of your body, but maybe not. You don't have to love your body. You don't have to like how it looks. You should appreciate your body for what it is and what it can do, but don't feel pressured to view your body as "beautiful"; lots of people don't, and that's not abnormal.0 -
I'm there with you, if you want to be weight loss buddies then just add me (:0
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Darling, the world is full of people ready to put you down. Don't do it to yourself. Appreciate your body for what it can do.0
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The reality is that if you really wanted to do it bad enough, you'd do what it takes. Abstaining from what you like to eat isn't the answer. Restricting HOW MUCH you eat is.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
To me this is a little harsh... and yes although some of this or all of this is truth in this... a little personal touch and some tact in how you say things can go along ways...
Don't we really want to help someone or do we just want to speak out a lot of knowledge that may or may not make sense.... MFP members are guilty of that a lot (including me)...
We tend to jump in (as experienced weight losers, fitness gurus) and just say do it or just stop... I read a thread earlier and I am guilty of this too.. you may think people are looking for a reason to vent or wine (and maybe some are) but sometimes you can pick up that someone is trying or wanting to get started... the OP did setup a an account in MFP..
To the OP, if you have a question or need advice how to get started or where to find research on certain questions you may have... you will get some advice or kind words from most... Add me if you need a MFP friend..
Tough love goes a long way.0 -
This is an 18-year-old girl who has only 20 lbs. to lose and is ashamed to walk around a shopping mall. I agree that "tough love" might be on the harsh side here. How do we even know this girl really needs to lose 20 lbs. That kind of body shame sounds like body dysmorphia. I'm a shortie and I've been 20 lbs overweight (and at my height it really shows!), and I was never ashamed to go out in public.0
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Yeah I'm just not happy with myself. When I go to the mall every woman I see is skinny. I ask myself why can't I be them. It sucks.You need to learn to love your body whatever its shape. It's the only one you're ever going to have. You can be dissatisfied with it but you have to learn to love it and take care of it no matter how it looks. Time is going to change it. Surgeries happen, babies happen. Our bodies change over time in ways your 18 year old self can't imagine. I know my 18 year old self couldn't.
When I was your age I hated mine, too. I had just graduated high school. I was 20 pounds overweight. My thighs were too big, my calves were too big. Now, I'd love to have that body back. Rather than focus on self-hate use your dissatisfaction to fuel your motivation to get into shape and create a body that you are happy with.
Use MFP to find your daily calorie goal. Log what you're eating accurately and faithfully, stay under your calorie goal and learn the calorie content of the foods you eat and the impact they are having on your body. Learn that exercising and eating healthy aren't enough to lose weight; you need to consume less calories than your body burns each day to do that. You can certainly eat the things you love as long as you can fit them into your calorie goal each day. So instead of a whole chocolate bar eat a small piece.
The understanding of the relationship between calories and weight gain is much greater than it was when I was 18. If you can figure these things out now, rather than listening to the diet industry hype, your life will be a lot easier. I wish you all the best!This is an 18-year-old girl who has only 20 lbs. to lose and is ashamed to walk around a shopping mall. I agree that "tough love" might be on the harsh side here. How do we even know this girl really needs to lose 20 lbs. That kind of body shame sounds like body dysmorphia. I'm a shortie and I've been 20 lbs overweight (and at my height it really shows!), and I was never ashamed to go out in public.
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I know how this feels. I now feel sad for my old self for feeling that way rather than 1. doing something about it and 2. celebrating what was awesome about my body then! I'm 32, have carried two babies and my body is different for it.
I know it's not easy but stop comparing yourself to others and start comparing your new self to your old self, keep tracking and EXERCISING and week by week, month by month you should become stronger and fitter.
I loved what someone else said about fashion and clothing. Dress to suit your shape. This doesn't have to mean hiding away under baggy clothes.0
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