So disappointed with myself

mytimemfp wrote: »

Back in early January I went to see my gp to ask for help with my weight. I've been very overweight since my teens and am a binge eater. I love my fruit, veg etc all the good stuff but I binge on all the bad stuff. Anyway I was tired of being overweight and hating my reflection in the mirror. Anyway the gp has referred me to a weight management programme. The next day I decided that I would cut out all crisps, chocolate, cakes etc.......I'm an all or nothing type of person and taking it out of my diet completely. Anyway I'm now 11 weeks on still waiting to start the weight programme although I have met with the consultant. I've lost on average less than a pound a week. I really thought 3 months in I would be more than 8lbs down. The last 3 weeks I've changed my diet from calorie counting to very low carb. I loved low carb and it really satisfied my appetite lots of meat, nuts, veg etc. First week of that and 4lbs off I was so happy but the next week 4lbs on and then I do what I awlays do I blow it completely. I've spent the last two days eating chocolate and ice cream and now feel bloated, sick and so upset.
I have been weighing myself daily and can't tell you how much I've cried with such slow weight loss. When I saw the consultant he said I needed to like myself and the weight loss will follow but I can't simply start loving myself. I've tried hiding my scales but after 3/4 days I think I must have lost a lot as I feel so much better my clothes are looser and I've cut my calories from 4,000 a day down to 1,800. I know weight loss is not linear but 8lbs seems unfair for the massive changes I've made and it's not like I've only got a few stone to lose I need to lose at least 10 stone! Admittedly the only exercise i do is to walk an hour most days and I drink about 1.5 litres of water. I have felt much better cutting out carbs and enjoying full fat versions of foods like yoghurt and cheese. Now I've had 2 days of bingeing i'm scared it will lead to days or weeks and I will be heavier than ever. I wish I wasn't ruled by the scales but I am and it ruins my day with each disappointment. I've spent the last few hours in tears. I have a wonderful partner and little boy, my weight is the one thing I need to change but I can't seem to. Any tips or suggestions? I feel totally lost and alone at the moment. I don't want to be stick thin a size 14/16 would suit me perfectly!

1 lb per week is 104 lbs in just 2 years. Not bad at all is it? If you think of this as a diet, it will never work. You need to think of it as how you will eat from now on. Make sure you are counting accurately, using a food scale, do not eat back your walking calories and fit treats inot your daily calories. With 1800 calories, there is plenty of room for eating daily a treat, as long as it is just one portion. Do not think of it as cheating, just plan for it and count it in your calories. Buying things in single portions (e.g. one small chocolate bar of 100-200 calories, or a small ice-cream etc) will help not being tempted ot eat more than you planned for.

What is this weight program you're going to start? Have you done a MFP profile and do you have a good idea of how many calories per day you should be eating to lose more than a pound a week? Do you know what your macro (protein, fats, carbs, etc) distribution should be? That is really the place to start.

The only think I can offer is to make sure you are being active is some way as well. I have a good friend who lost 20lbs by cutting down calories AND walking 3 miles every evening after work. She lives in a really nice complex so the walk was enjoyable for her. If you are looking for faster results I would add daily walks to your weight loss plan. Additionally, DONT look at the scale every day. Weight fluctuates on a daily basis. Pick a day and only weight yourself on that day, first think in the morning before breakfast. Personally, I wait every two or three weeks because I get frustrated if I don;t loos as much as I want and then make bad eating choices. You just have to find a system that works for you. Best of luck!

I was in a place very similar to yours. Fat and sad. Tried multiple "diets" and such and just never could stick with them and the results kind of sucked. I would end up putting on even more weight than when I started the damn thing.

The thing that helped me was to view food differently and how it is part of my life. Instead of trying to eliminate certain foods from your diet, you have to learn to enjoy them, but much less of it. I love to late night snack. One of the things that helped me was that I still do my late night snacking, but instead of it being ice cream, chips, and whatever else I could shovel down my throat, I eat blueberries, strawberries, and other foods that don't kill my calorie count. You have to take it one step at a time. I kind of went extreme and cleared my house of all foods that I would binge eat. I only buy chips once in a while and it's one little bag.

I still enjoy the bad foods. I eat pizza, I eat little cups of ice cream, I still have my chips from time to time. The trick is that you have to eat less of that stuff and realize that there are a ton of other foods out there that are much more healthier for you and taste just as great and won't kill your calorie count.

In the end you need to get some friends on this website that will help keep you motivated. open up your Diary. Weigh everything you eat that needs weighing. Be open and honest with your MFP friends on what you are eating. It's all about calorie in vs calorie out.

Also you need to realize that this is a lifestyle change. It's not something to do for a short time, get some results and then go back to how you use to eat and such. Losing the weight is going to take probably around 2 years or so. You have to keep your mindset with the fact that it's going to take a while, but as long as you are honest to yourself on what you eat and work hard at it, you will ultimately have success.

When I started my weight loss journey I decided to focus on non-weight goals, so I decided I would walk 4 times a week, for 1 hour each time. I also decided I would log ALL of my food in MFP and keep to the calories designated for me by the weight-loss equation. I only allowed myself a weigh-in once a week - that kept me from obsessing on the small daily weight fluctuations.
You then have to keep trying to improve - so see if you can walk a little faster the 2nd week, so you cover a greater distance in your hour of walking. After a couple of weeks you might add in another small exercise chunk of time a few times a week. If you need to reward yourself for meeting your exercise goals, make sure that it is not food-related, like maybe buy a cute new water bottle to carry with you on your walks, or things like that.
If you focus on those two things, rather than trying to cut out groups of foods, I think the weight will start to drop off. I allow myself a treat a few times a week, but I usually split it with my husband, and make sure it fits into my daily calorie allowance.
Good luck - I wish you the very best! And REALLY try to work on loving yourself, you are WORTH IT!

I can understand the challenge a lot of us women go thru trying to drop some weight .. And it never seems to happen as fast as we want. But no matter what you are the same person whether your size 16 or size 6. You are a beautiful person and when you are happy with your life and conscious of what you are putting into your body. Things will fall into place and pounds will disappear too! One tip.. Try not to weigh yourself ever single day. If u have to see that scale maybe try and do it a couple times a week .... Say a monday and Thursdaya d around the same time. stay positive and with that all or nothing attitude I'm sure you will get results!! Cheers.

well, dear, i understand how you feel. i am diabetic, and every time i have a blood test, i feel like a terrible failure and it makes me want to run to the cookies and ice cream. or chips (crisps?) or candy bars...but the Diabetes Educator at the hospital told me that the numbers are just information. so...every time you step onto the scale, it gives you some information. it is not a character assessment, or a moral judgement. it is just information, and you have to decide what to do with it. will you use it to motivate yourself to continue on, or will you allow it to crush you and use it as an excuse to sabotage yourself?

stop weighing yourself daily - it's too much stress. take your scale to the neighbor's house, and tell her that you only want to use it on Monday mornings.

1800 calories seems reasonable. and you are absolutely right, it's NOT fair that 8lbs is all you've lost after making so many changes. it's not fair that i have an incurable disease either. but when we say that, it sounds a lot like whining, because that's what it is. and i fully understand the need to 'sit on the pity pot', as a friend once put it. i told her that everybody was allowed to sit on the pity pot for 15 minutes, and then they had to get up and flush.

so flush, already!

and please focus your energy on the positive! your clothes are looser, and you are providing your son a good example. you are being good to yourself when you eat healthy food and exercise. that is what the counselor meant by liking yourself.

here is what i recommend:
1. take the scale to the neighbor's house.
2. sit on the pity pot for 15 minutes a day, then flush.
3. every 3 or 4 days, plan your meals, go food shopping, and prepare what you reasonably can ahead of time - chop the veggies, portion out the chicken, etc.
4. drink a small glass of water every time you go to the bathroom. the more you drink, the more you go, and the more you go, the more you drink.
5. keep on walking.
6. this week, investigate strength training. look online, read books. ask a personal trainer for advice. ask your doctor if you have any restrictions.
7. next week, start some very basic strength training; do it 2 or 3 times a week, if your dr. says it's ok.
8. keep on walking. or ride a bike!
9. if you have a food craving, make a decision. remember, don't trade what you want (weight loss) for what you want right now (food). but seriously, if you want some cake, eat 4 bites. the first 4 bites on anything tastes the best, and you deserve the best!
10. buy yourself some fresh flowers once a week, and be kind to yourself.