When does it stop?

Options
hattris
hattris Posts: 5
in Motivation and Support
It's been ten weeks since I started back on the path to healthy eating. There have been good days, and bad. But ever day has been a struggle. Ever minute of every day has been a struggle. I keep reminding myself of all the good that will come from this. Growing old with my beautiful wife. Watching my four young children, and someday my grandchildren, become strong intelligent adults. Being able to enjoy life, for as long as it will have me. But when does this all consuming urge to eat ever minute of every waking moment vanish as the last 29lbs have? I'm a large man and have another 80lbs to lose, just to be "chubby". I know this is not a sprint. I know it took years to put it on, so I need to put in the time to get it off. But does this time all have to be torture? Is the shame of being fat not enough punishment? I just want to be able to relax for a moment without my mind drifting off to calculate how many calories I could sneak right now without my body finding out. FYI the answer is zero. Please let me know it gets easier. Even if you have to lie. I better get a medal for this, and maybe some pie. Apple pie with ice cream.

Replies

  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
    Options
    What is your calorie goal?
    Have you cut foods out of your everyday diet?

    These are the first two places I'd look at. If you have an aggressive calorie goal, sometimes it makes you feel 'hangry'. Ease up a bit with a less aggressive goal and you may be happier.

    Also, if you cut out any foods (like pie and ice cream), add them back in. You can eat all of the foods you previously ate, just less of it (moderation!). By cutting out foods, you're just making yourself miserable. Sometimes it becomes an obsessive thought and then it overflows into a binge.

    I don't know why it is, but when people start 'dieting', it's like this unspoken rule that you have to be miserable to lose weight. But that's not true at all.
  • Sweets1954
    Sweets1954 Posts: 506 Member
    Options
    If you allow yourself a little treat every now and then, work it into your daily allowance of calories, you will feel less tortured and deprived. Even if you occasionally go over your limit, in the grand scheme of things it won't hurt you. If you continue to feel that this is punishment, it's too easy to give up. Hang in there, it will all work out in time.
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
    Options
    If it's so miserable, what makes you think you will stick with it? In other words, find a way to eat that helps you stay within your calorie goals. Without seeing your diary, I can only assume you are restricting food types, instead of just using self control and moderation.
  • lovematthewchristopher
    lovematthewchristopher Posts: 147 Member
    Options
    Yes, it does get easier. Yes, you will have some days that are more of a struggle then others, but all in all, it gets easier as time goes on. I started my new way of eating, and exercising in September 2014. I have lost almost 50 pounds since then. The first bit, was the hardest. I did what you are doing. I cut too many things out of my diet. When i realized that i was miserable i changed my way of thinking. If this is going to be a new lifestyle and not a diet, but something that i am going to do for the rest of my life, i need to be able to eat the things that i love. If i cut them out, i will never succeed, because you will just go back to eating them after you have lost weight anyways. Just check that you aren't too low in calories each day, so you dont feel like you are starving yourself. If you are, and you are trying to lose 2 pounds a week, maybe change it to 1.5 or 1 pound a week instead. It may take you a bit longer to lose the weight, but you will have more calories, and therefore be happier. Dont cut anything you like out of your diet, just fit it into your calories for the day. You can do this!!!!
  • Adc7225
    Adc7225 Posts: 1,318 Member
    Options
    I get what you are saying and I wish I had a when and where to tell you it will happen. But I can tell you that it will happen, I stressed over food, spent way too much time looking at food porn and then one day I just ate my meals and snacks (good ones) without overthinking it. I realized at that point that I really knew what to do and that I could do it. Some of it comes from educating yourself on what not to eat or to limit and some of it comes from that feeling you have when you realize a relationship, while you enjoyed it, it was not a healthy one and it is now over.

    Cut yourself some slack on stressing over calories, if you need to go over, do it , buy do it smartly and realize that it is only temporary.
  • cat_caffeine
    cat_caffeine Posts: 18 Member
    Options
    It gets easier if you keep with it.

    Drink water, so much water, avoid drinking too many calories, they don't really fill you up.

    It might also be that you need to look into your macronutrients, I found that increasing my protein/fat and decreasing my simple carbs helped a lot in being less constantly hungry.

    I also try and keep track of when I'm most hungry and see if it's just that I'm hungry because I'm bored or thirsty or even because "before" I would have eaten something at a specific time/during a specific activity.

    PS Have the pie, add some ice cream, track it, go for a walk and burn off some extra calories if it makes you feel better about it but you can totally have pie (or any other treat) as long as you track it.
  • kazaargrandcru
    kazaargrandcru Posts: 152 Member
    Options
    It does get better. For me it took a little while to figure out that it really is about moderation. I still have some less than stellar days but it's getting better with time. Be patient and understanding with yourself, you're learning and adapting to a different way of doing things. It will take some practice, trial & error until it becomes your way of life. Stay the course, it really is worth it in the end. <3
  • hattris
    hattris Posts: 5
    Options
    Thanks everyone for the comments. I try not to cut anything out, but I have no self control. I cant eat just a little of somthing, so it is best that I avoid it...like pie or chips or chocolate. Maybe I am setting the bar to high (or low in this case). I'll adjust my calories a little higher and see what happens. I'm currently losing on average 3lbs a week, I'll cut that in half. 3lbs sounds like a lot but I'm a very big guy 6'2", 337lbs now. So it does come off quicker then most. My cal goal is 1600 a day, maybe I'll go to 2000?

    Thanks again. I'm feeling better today, I was just so down yesterday.
  • phyllb
    phyllb Posts: 735 Member
    Options
    I have tried to put my hunger in a box "like an achy knee" and just accept it is part of my life. As time goes by I am feeling less hungry but still almost always there, so the box is helpful for me.
  • jnv7594
    jnv7594 Posts: 983 Member
    Options
    hattris wrote: »
    Thanks everyone for the comments. I try not to cut anything out, but I have no self control. I cant eat just a little of somthing, so it is best that I avoid it...like pie or chips or chocolate. Maybe I am setting the bar to high (or low in this case). I'll adjust my calories a little higher and see what happens. I'm currently losing on average 3lbs a week, I'll cut that in half. 3lbs sounds like a lot but I'm a very big guy 6'2", 337lbs now. So it does come off quicker then most. My cal goal is 1600 a day, maybe I'll go to 2000?

    Thanks again. I'm feeling better today, I was just so down yesterday.

    You can do this, but it does take some practice. I was always one of those that said I couldn't eat just a little of some things or I would lose control. I said it for years. I used to think I was one of the worst people ever in terms of self control around food. I always cut these foods out in the past, and I always gained the weight back later on. Cutting foods out wasn't working for me in the long term. You can teach yourself to have these foods in moderation. Is it easy at first? No. But it can be done trust me. If I can manage it, anyone can. It took me several months to be able to do it easily, but now I can have a serving of one or two cookies or one slice of cake, and I'm fine. I've learned that I would rather have these foods in small amounts than not have them at all. It has also made losing weight this time around so much easier. It doesn't feel like torture, and it shouldn't. If it feels like torture to you, you may want to reevaluate your diet. It doesn't sound like it's one that's sustainable for you at this point.

  • LittleJem01
    LittleJem01 Posts: 51 Member
    edited March 2015
    Options
    Well done on the loss so far, OP. 1600 cals (and even 2000) seems crazy-low for a guy of your build, though - no wonder you're hungry. Have you calculated your BMR or TDEE?
  • jnv7594
    jnv7594 Posts: 983 Member
    edited March 2015
    Options
    LittleJem01 wrote: »
    Well done on the loss so far, OP. 1600 cals (and even 2000) seems crazy-low for a guy of your build, though - no wonder you're hungry. Have you calculated your BMR or TDEE?

    ^^^This. 1600 cals is too low. You could be eating more than that, but it sounds like you are being aggressive with your goals. I am a 5'7 woman and weigh 212 pounds, and I eat 1920 calories a day. I am still losing at that amount. You might want to adjust your settings and see how you feel. It would be better to lose at a slower rate than to get frustrated and give up completely.

Categories