Can anybody shed some light on this "phenomenon?"

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jenniferjohnsonament
jenniferjohnsonament Posts: 85 Member
in Goal: Maintaining Weight
Hey all,

So I made a true commitment back to fitness and health about 12 weeks ago and as a result lost nearly 25 lbs!

I was feeling GREAT..up until about a week ago....and.....don't smack me, but suddenly I feel "big."

I had to buy new jeans because mine wouldn't stay up anymore, and I'm getting great positive feedback from my husband.

I HAVE gotten a bit of negative feedback from some coworkers and family members and I'm wondering if this is what is (hopefully temporarily) tanking my self esteem.

I am actually back to my wedding weight..a time in life that I've NEVER felt more beautiful...but I just am being really hard on myself.

Any thoughts?
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Replies

  • cre8ful1
    cre8ful1 Posts: 4 Member
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    No you are not tanking your self esteem! (I HAVE gotten a bit of negative feedback from some coworkers and family members) the negative feedback is: your new shape tanking their self esteem. Congrats on the weight loss. Keep up the good work!
  • ewhip17
    ewhip17 Posts: 515 Member
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    So first, congratulations and good for you. Seriously. Take every little victory and celebrate it.
    But, I hear you. I've lost 135lbs and I still sometimes feel "big". The brain is a really complicated device and it doesn't always see things the way the rest of the world sees them. I just have to occasionally look back at where I've come from - THAT was big.. haha. But in reality, if you feel great that's awesome. Sometimes it's hard to play the long game - but I'm trying. I have to tune people out sometimes. If I listened to my mother for example, you'd think the world was coming to an end because of my newly found focus on health. But that's a whole other story... LOL.
  • Nezz123
    Nezz123 Posts: 35 Member
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    I agree with ewhip17. The brain is strange device. It can make people feel phantom limbs, develop odd phobias (fear of kittens?), feel phantom limbs, or outright hallucinate. So feeling big doesn't verify that you are! Direct negative feedback from yourself or others will definitely trigger it and create a negative feedback loop. Once you've objectively defined reality (i.e. you are lovely girl and back to a healthy weight!) distance yourself from those negative influences. We all start to believe anything we hear enough times. Hang out with your man, positive people, and adorable animals--you'll feel better!
  • LaurenAOK
    LaurenAOK Posts: 2,475 Member
    edited March 2015
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    I absolutely understand. This is my second time losing weight (lost before with MFP, then gained it back because law school sucks, whoops). Both times I have found that once I start losing, I'm harder on myself and my body than ever before. It stinks! I think it's because before I start losing, I don't think about my body that much - I mean, I know I'm bigger than I'd like to be, and that makes me insecure, but I try not to dwell on it. Once I lose weight, though, I'm constantly focusing on my body - that's part of the weight loss game! Weighing in, measuring, etc. Then I start to notice all these little imperfections. "I lost weight but my tummy is still jiggly, my thighs are still too big, etc."

    In some ways I feel even bigger after losing weight than I did before.

    The brain sucks. I think all we can do is keep going and hope our brain catches up to our bodies and realizes that we do, in fact, look awesome!
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    Everyone has fat days.
  • Ibknute
    Ibknute Posts: 43 Member
    edited March 2015
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    Congratulations on your achievement and you are not alone in this type of feeling! I completely agree with what has already been said here. I started this journey at just under 400 pounds and broke through the 330 barrier just this past week. While I am still a "big" man in terms of physical size, I don't always feel in my mind like I have already lost 70 pounds. It is what our minds are used to thinking that often determines how we feel and part of this process is getting you mind to change just as you have with your body. While I haven't received much direct negative feedback from others, I find it is easy for me to try and read between the lines at times and often find comments that aren't really there. Negativity can be a good motivator but too much of it does have the opposite effect.

    You look great and it sounds like you feel great (which you should) so let that be your motivation. Don't let others try to bring you down by pushing their possible insecurity and self-doubt onto you.

    Keep up the excellent work!
  • Khandeefan
    Khandeefan Posts: 4 Member
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    I agree with all the posts thus far. I just recently entered maintenance phase which I've never done before. I am working hard to overcome my fear of gaining (as I slowly add calories to find that magic number) but I am really celebrating my accomplishment! I suppose wt loss/maintenance is as much mental as physical work. Congratulations!! You're beautiful inside and out. Don't let anything bring you down!! Celebrate my dear! You've earned it.
  • 10ecmuscle
    10ecmuscle Posts: 121 Member
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    Haters and gonna hate. So glad your husband is standing side by side with you through this journey. Just keep up a positive attitude and others will learn to respect that from you. Keep up the good work and the hubby will continue to brag and push you forward. After all you live with him, you don't your coworkers.
  • meganjcallaghan
    meganjcallaghan Posts: 949 Member
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    nah, because of what the excess skin has done to me I feel way "fatter" now than I ever did when I was actually fat. Different reason for it maybe, but I get you.
  • jenniferjohnsonament
    jenniferjohnsonament Posts: 85 Member
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    Thank you to everyone for your comments and advice!

    I am going to continue with maintenance and have opted to try to focus on the non-superficial benefits I can see (I have more energy, my thighs aren't rubbing, etc.)

    Perhaps my head/brain just needs time to catch up!
  • CanadianCountryGirl1973
    CanadianCountryGirl1973 Posts: 108 Member
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    Your post is soooo interesting! From pounds lost, wedding weight and the jeans (I opted for a belt... something I haven't owned in YEARS!!) I could have written this post myself this week! I've been feeling pretty unmotivated, which is completely ridiculously bizarre given the 22 pound loss so far since January 1. So what is it about the 12th week? My other friends felt the same way this week! Good for you on your loss.... Let's set a small, fun goal.... an outfit that's fabulous but one size too small and let's get into it by April 30th!
  • CanadianCountryGirl1973
    CanadianCountryGirl1973 Posts: 108 Member
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    (My husband just suggested that feeling fat this week might have something to do with the moon being so close to earth.... now that's an interesting idea!)
  • T_X_L
    T_X_L Posts: 140 Member
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    Here's my take:
    Fat friends, etc. negative - Your success is making them feel inadequate, their problem.
    Not fat friends, etc. negative - Your success is eroding their secret feeling of superiority, their problem.

    Your hubby: How YOU doin???? ;)
  • CanadianCountryGirl1973
    CanadianCountryGirl1973 Posts: 108 Member
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    T_X_L wrote: »
    Here's my take:
    Fat friends, etc. negative - Your success is making them feel inadequate, their problem.
    Not fat friends, etc. negative - Your success is eroding their secret feeling of superiority, their problem.

    Your hubby: How YOU doin???? ;)

    I totally agree! I am thoroughly enjoying my friends who are also trying to change their lifestyle as well. The large ones are a little condescending and critical, as are the already skinny minnies.... and your theory fits perfectly for them!
  • CarlosMcBeth
    CarlosMcBeth Posts: 1
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    At the lunch table at work I have co-workers watching me eat my "sparse" lunch and they keep trying to share their food with me. The more weight I lose the easier my workouts become. But even as my BMI gets closer to that 25 mark I am still seeing phantom fat in the mirror very morning. The brain can be a great coach lol
  • nxd10
    nxd10 Posts: 4,570 Member
    edited March 2015
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    For me, every time I feel really happy that I've hit a new goal, I realize all the other things I should be doing to be even better and feel inadequate. I even wrote a blog about the 'phenomenon' for Psychology Today. (https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/thinking-about-kids/201005/letting-perfection-go).

    Enjoy your accomplishment. Let perfection go.
  • jenniferjohnsonament
    jenniferjohnsonament Posts: 85 Member
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    This really actually HAS been really enlightening! From seeing that others are going through the same thing (many at the same point in their journey) to being made to notice that the people (overweight and or naturally skinny) who chide me have common threads normally!

  • opalsqueak007
    opalsqueak007 Posts: 433 Member
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    I have lost 50lb and am now 144lb on a large 5'7" frame - a good weight, but I feel fatter than I ever did when I was 194lb. I don't understand why. I look in the mirror and can see that I am not "fat" as such, but I feel it. For me, I think it's because I was at least firm before, whereas now I am probably skinny fat.
    -
  • jenniferjohnsonament
    jenniferjohnsonament Posts: 85 Member
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    Opal..from your pic you look great! Congratulations on your weight loss success..that is incredible. I am 5 foot 8 and 150 so we have almost the same stats :-)

    Sometimes lately I've had to remind myself (OUT LOUD) that I was SO proud of myself when I hit 160 (my first goal as I really didn't think I'd get back to 150 when I started.) I feel almost mental that I felt like a sexy beast 10 lbs ago and now I'm so critical of myself.
  • opalsqueak007
    opalsqueak007 Posts: 433 Member
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    jenniferjohnsonament wrote: »
    Opal..from your pic you look great! Congratulations on your weight loss success..that is incredible. I am 5 foot 8 and 150 so we have almost the same stats :-)

    Sometimes lately I've had to remind myself (OUT LOUD) that I was SO proud of myself when I hit 160 (my first goal as I really didn't think I'd get back to 150 when I started.) I feel almost mental that I felt like a sexy beast 10 lbs ago and now I'm so critical of myself.

    Lol Thanks so much for your reply Jennifer - I was exactly the same in that 160 was my goal! :) I felt brilliant at 160lb, but kept going, and now feel fat at 144lb. Thanks for your nice comments - you have cheered me up :)

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