Dealing with Negative People

Ignore them. I have a family member like that. It's jealousy.

1. The friend. Sounds a bit controlling, i'm all right jack, immature sort of thing. In his eyes he is being helpful, but I cant tell how he is criticisng you whether its teasing or its a bit more malicious and doing you down. If he is a genuine friend, then talk to him, tell him you are appreciative for his advice and support, but could he leave out the other stuff as you find it unhlepful (there were several other alternative phrases)... If he listens all well and good, if he doesnt, then you have to decide whether you are being oversensitive? If you cant brush it off or argue your corner, then perhaps you should be doing the diet and exercise on your own and without his assistance because he is more of a hinderance than a benefit?

2. People friends and family. As long as what you are doing is healthy and well thought out, then friends and family supposedly want the best for you, so they should support you. If they dont, brush it off and get on with doing what you know you want. Your life. You do have the other alternative which is to eat by portion control and eat smaller portions. I cant see what business it is of theirs what food you put in your own mouth.

3. The bread on the table I think is an example of your weight loss joirney impinging on them. Just because you are losing, you are asking them to put up with a minor inconvenience. Food will still exist in the world, so try and focus and be clear in your objectives, then it wont bother you because you have decided losing weight is more important. The world doesnt stop just because you choose to go on a diet nor will many other people be interested. Get friends on MFP and they can share their experience of being on a diet.

Seems like there are three things going on. (1) Your friend thinks he is motivating you by pointing out what seems to be "slacking off" from his point of view. He's a friend, so tell him that it doesn't work. That really doesn't sound like a "negative person," because he wants you to achieve your goals; he's just going about it in a counterproductive way.

(2) People criticize your healthy choices at restaurants. It might be because it makes them feel bad about their own choices. It might be because they think you're losing too much weight (weight loss makes some people uncomfortable because it's often a consequence of disease). If they're close to you, you can try telling them that it bugs you; if not, then learn to ignore it. You can also order something that has more calories than you want to eat, and then leave some on your plate (or take leftovers home). See #3.

(3) Bread on the table. Here I have to say that I agree with @newmeadow‌. Let people have their bread. Unless you're going to be avoiding bread the rest of your life, you need to learn how to eat only what you need, and to exercise a little self control. Ask them to keep the bread away from your seat, if that's what you need, but let them have it.

In respect of the friend, it might be that putting up with them giving you stick when you slow down or miss a day is the price you pay for them otherwise helping you.

In respect of the bread - dude, this is your thing, not theirs. Let them have their bread. Just don't eat it. Imagine the other side of this story to be someone asking "How do you deal with people who go on a health kick and all of a sudden want me to not eat bread at a restauarant, just because they're on a diet?"

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I really don't like the idea that people are jealous. I think that's kind of an immature thought, and it reminds me of what my mother told me when I was 12 and got braces. If OP's friend is in good shape, I doubt he'd be jealous over missed workouts.

If you don't want their input, tell them to stop. Say something like "I don't appreciate you putting me down, it doesn't motivate me." then, move on with your life. Accept that everyone you meet won't shoot rainbows out their *kitten*.

I deal with it all the time. The people I work with make fun of me when I pass on the cupcakes or donuts. "Oh we forgot, you only eat lettuce". I let it go cause while I'm slimming down they're struggling to zip their pants and wishing they'd have eaten better before summer got here....

Why can't bread be on the table? I understand getting in shape, but we also shouldn't expect others to adopt our same lifestyle. If there's things you're restricting, that's on you and not everybody else. As far as your gym friend goes, maybe he thinks he's motivating you? He may continue to think that until you tell him otherwise.

1. I don't miss gym days. If that's the issue and you truly have a problem with what sounds like the guy is trying to motivate you, talk to him about it.
2. I let people eat bread. Other people shouldn't need to change in order to make things easier for me (not that I have anything against bread anyway).

It's not jealousy. Seriously people, stop claiming that EVERYTHING is jealousy.

Laura732 wrote: »

I've gotten really good at 1) ignoring BS 2) doing what I want. My husband is the person who most often is the source of negative comments. For example, he often tells me that running is bad for my joints, even though current research doesn't support that. He also likes to tell me that I'm doing the wrong exercises. Somebody who is 'big' like me shouldn't be jumping around. For the most part, I don't exercise where he can see me. But occasionally I do end up telling him to just shut up about it. Hell, I'm 51. Its my body and I'm gonna do w/ it what I want. I don't have high blood pressure, my cholesterol is under control. Granted, the BMI calculators still say I'm obese. But at least its not morbidly obese anymore.

So, I spent some serious cash on a better than average pair of running shoes. I'll go for a run at lunch tomorrow and enjoy myself.

I can relate to this. Even unintentionally, my husband can be a Debby downer, and a major sabotager. Haha. Good on you for going for it anyway!!