Unsupportive friend

destinationparadise
destinationparadise Posts: 59
edited September 27 in Motivation and Support
I came into work this morning feeling good because I when I got on the scale this morning I had lost 2 lbs. Then this morning when I told my friend (who got me to join WW) that I had joined this site and dropped Weight Watchers because I like this site better. She looked at me and said "You can't stick with anything can you? Don't you want to loose weight? You will never be honest about what you eat". I told her that I did want to loose weight and I have since I joined myfitnesspal last week. I think that friends should support each other no matter how they choose to loose weight but she really hurt my feelings this morning. :cry:

Replies

  • tinytotnot
    tinytotnot Posts: 67 Member
    :flowerforyou: Maybe your friend is not supportive, but we all are. I have a friend similar to yours, when she knows I am trying to lose weight she will buy me chocolate or cook things that she knows I shouldn't be eating. Hopefully her negativity will spur you on to prove her wrong, out the money you would pay for WW away and at the end of your journey, you will be able to buy a whole new wardrobe of clothes and she will be very jealous, you CAN and WILL succeed. :happy:
  • snowman6124
    snowman6124 Posts: 3
    I'm really sorry to hear that. It doesn't matter what motivates you just as long as it does. Everyone is different. If we were all the same there would not be a million diet and excercise programs out there. I'm sure she will come around soon. Maybe it was just a bad morning for her.
  • Zaggytiddies
    Zaggytiddies Posts: 326 Member
    Ditto. We'll support you. Two pounds is fantastic! Great Job!
  • aimeemaryrose
    aimeemaryrose Posts: 36
    She's just pissed off as she wanted you to be in the same group she is, plus she is worried that you're going to lose more weight than her! This should serve as a brilliant push to beat her in the weight-loss stakes! ;0)
  • kennysrush
    kennysrush Posts: 124
    Sorry to hear that! I've been there too and know how it feels. Hopefully it will blow over, and if she's a true friend, it will!
  • rmsrws
    rmsrws Posts: 639 Member
    Wow....I sense a little jealousy with your friend. People can be cruel! I prefer this site over many other I have tried. I found I am honest about what I eat and tracking calories and excerscies, why would I cheat myself, when I am striving to be a better healthier person and regain some quality of life back. Maybe your friend feels abandoned that you opted out of weight watchers, and now she feels she has no support! Have a great day! Keep up the reat job!
  • sweetiepie31612
    sweetiepie31612 Posts: 240 Member
    It sounds to me like she is supportive. She really wants to see you lose the weight. She thinks that by switching to this site though, you are going to cheat yourself and not lose. maybe make a friendly bet with her to see who can lose more using the different programs. This will help keep you both honest. The best thing you can do though, is just prove her wrong. Be honest with yourself about what you eat, log it on here, and watch the lbs. and inches fade away.
  • Colfiii
    Colfiii Posts: 124 Member
    she was just pissed off but even like that saying to u 'u can t stick to anything can't u ' is a big deal ... . Leave her alone till she'll realize she was a ***** , we all are sometimes and keep on going with your weight loss ... In the end is about what makes u feel most comfortable and if MFP is go on with this ! Best of luck
  • destinationparadise
    destinationparadise Posts: 59
    I knew I could count on all of you to make me feel better. Thanks bunches!!:smile:
  • saltorian
    saltorian Posts: 192 Member
    Maybe your friend feels abandoned that you opted out of weight watchers, and now she feels she has no support!

    This is what I was going to say. Obviously, because I don't know your friend, I can't say with any certainty, but I don't get the impression that she's jealous. I think your friend probably feels hurt that you ditched on something she wanted you to have in common. Some people take actions like these as personal insults (i.e. if you don't like what I like, then you don't like me).
  • TaneeisFitforLife
    TaneeisFitforLife Posts: 433
    She probably needs you as a support & she lashed out. She saw WW as something y'all both could do together. Keep being supportive of her for now & hopefully she'll become a little more open minded about it :)
  • htimpaired
    htimpaired Posts: 1,404 Member
    I feel ya. I got bashed for my weight loss this weekend....twice! first my father made a comment about my going to the gym and getting too skinny (trust me, at 5 ft 1 and 127 lbs, I am NOT too skinny) and then my husband told me I go overboard with the exercising and drop pounds like crazy (really? really? Cause I checked and haven't dropped any weight in a month at least).

    I kinda wonder if it's similar to what others are saying...misery loves company. Don't do something you succeed at because then I have to look at my own failures type of mentality.

    You just keep making progress and do what works for you!
  • sophjakesmom
    sophjakesmom Posts: 904 Member
    The proof is in the pudding. The best thing to do is simply say, "I appreciate your opinion (even if you don't), but I am going to try something else." And then when you have fabulous success on MFP, just smile when she walks by!!

    Good luck to you!! :drinker:
  • kaytedawg05
    kaytedawg05 Posts: 209
    if she's a true friend you will both get over it & move on. idk anything about u, but sometimes our friends see things in us that we deny or don't see... u can use her words as an opportunity to think about the decisions you've made that would make her say things like that to you.. and whatever measure of truth exists you can open up to & learn to love & fix yourself and also use it as a starting point to have a serious conversation with her about your feelings & maybe hers... Maybe she is disappointed to not have her friend doing the same thing as her now and it was a stress lash out, she might fear now she wont have support from you anymore... and is facing her own demons as well.
    Introduce her to the site & help her out. if you are EVEN MORE supportive as a response to her freaking out, then it can open up new doors to growth in the friendship. and maybe she'll find more of what she's looking for here too.

    good luck to you both. A true friendship will find it's way through hurt feelings & lead to greener grass on the other side. :) god bless
  • lady95
    lady95 Posts: 46
    It's a grouping effect. She wants you to do what she's doing (for a variety of reasons, I'm sure.)
    Everyone's body is different. Weight Watchers works for her, doesn't work for you. Your friend probably doesn't realize that WW doesn't work for you, and is a little mad that you found something else that does.

    It doesn't matter, though, two pounds is great! Two pounds less means you have gotten that much closer to your goal!
  • sue26
    sue26 Posts: 412
    why dont you suggest that she joins you on mfp and do this together instead of WW?:smile:
  • Debma1010
    Debma1010 Posts: 34
    Asking her to join with you sounds like a plan. I've done ww online and this site is better and WAY less expensive. The support you get on these message boards seems way better than weight watchers and I love reading the success stories and seeing the before and after pics. I've had more luck here that WW's. Good Luck.....
  • mehlen
    mehlen Posts: 28 Member
    Two pounds is GREAT! Besides...you can pay WW...or you can put monthly WW dues aside into a "I'm gonna buy some cool clothes" fund for when you hit your target!!! Now you tell me...which sounds like more fun?

    Too bad she can't be happy for you. I'm thrilled and I don't even know you. This is a tough journey...you deserve all the cheers you can get! *hugs*

    Congratz on the 2 pounds. Keep it up...you're on your way!!
    Mary
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