To fall and rise again, Amy's Story.

AVT78
AVT78 Posts: 39 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Hello all, I will try to keep this short and sweet.

Back in 2005 I weighed 278lbs and was miserable. I knew what I had to do so I did it. One day I started walking and watching what I ate. I logged my calories on a good old pad with a pencil. I Slowly began to lose weight.

Fast forward to 2007 - I weighed 165 lbs, and you would think after losing 113 lbs I would be ecstatic about the way I looked. I went from a tight 22 to a size 8/10...but I wasn't happy. I kept picking at every little thing. My stomach had a flap of skin I didn't care for, my arms & legs had skin. In my mind there was always room for improvement. Looking back now - It seemed I never felt like I deserved to feel and look better. And of course I wanted to lose more weight. I was never satisfied. I constantly put myself down, I would beat myself up if I missed a workout or indulged. I started binge eating about this time too.

In 2011 I finally went to a Psychiatrist because I felt I needed a specialist. He diagnosed me with GAD, generalized anxiety disorder and prescribed an antidepressant.
The medication worked! I finally felt 'normal'. I had no idea I suffered from anxiety and depression. But the medication also put out my healthy lifestyle change flame and I quickly began gaining weight. And at the time, I didn't care. I quit exercising too...and I didn't care. The medication completely sedated me into a state of mind I have yet to experience, being carefree.

Fast forward to now, March 2015. My weight is 243. After trying several different antidepressants I decided to come off of them completely. The weight gain is making me depressed. I believe that they work...but there just not for me anymore. I've been to a few therapy sessions and I have a better understanding of what is causing me to run to food with every emotion. But I quit going to those sessions for insurance purposes. Well, I'm starting back now and I hope to gain even more knowledge so I can finally beat this disorder and get to a healthy weight again.

I just have one problem, since I logged my food and counted calories for so long I simply despise now. I have a hard time getting though just one stinking day of it. Any advice would be welcomed.

So here I go again on another weight loss adventure. I'm starting over...and sometimes I feel like a failure, but I know im not. Your not a failure unless you quit trying.

Replies

  • urloved33
    urloved33 Posts: 3,323 Member
    the words are "I did it before I can do it again" and just put that on "repeat"

    good luck to you.
  • michellemybelll
    michellemybelll Posts: 2,228 Member
    you can definitely do it. I'm about to start the 21 day fix, which actually doesn't require calorie counting, but pre-portioned containers that are different colors to designate different macros. I'm nervous, i've never done this challenge or anything like it before, but i'm ready to give it a go! :happy:

    you may want to look into it and give it a go!
  • kamakazeekim
    kamakazeekim Posts: 1,183 Member
    You can totally do this! You've done it before! Find some supportive people weather it is on here or in real life...have them help hold you accountable. Losing weight with depression can be hard...for a lot of people they hardly have the energy to get out of bed much less exercise and track their calories but exercise has been shown to help mild to moderate depression almost as effectively as taking an antidepressant! I encourage all of my clients to engage in regular physical activity that gets their heart rate up. Intense physical activity is also good for lowering anxiety!
  • lapierrecyclist
    lapierrecyclist Posts: 153 Member
    I too am starting again, coming down from my high weight (I think this is my 4th time). Each time I've learned something. One thing I found was that when it was so hard in the beginning to start again, I decided to go on program just for one meal each day, for a few days. I chose healthy foods (and upped my fruit/veggies), logged my calories, and gave myself props. Then I made it two meals a day, then three, and then I was back on track and OK with it.

    Another thing that was true for me is that I was much more able to stay on program when I got adequate protein in my diet. I made sure to have hardboiled eggs, raw almonds, and celery sticks with PB easily available for snacks.

    I too am an emotional eater so I can empathize with you. I don't have that part (doing activities other than eating in response to emotional stress) fully figured out yet. But I'm working on it.

    Good luck, Amy - I have faith in you.
  • AVT78
    AVT78 Posts: 39 Member
    Thank you all for your support words. <3

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