Help from those who are on their second journey

HappyNinjaStar
HappyNinjaStar Posts: 353 Member
edited November 15 in Health and Weight Loss
This is my second time on the journey to significant weight loss. After I had my first son I lost nearly 60 lbs and maintained until I got pregnant with my second son. Despite best efforts, I gained 50 lbs during pregnancy that I now need to lose.

I know what to do, and I am doing it. The problem is since this is my second time, I feel none of the excitement of the process that I did the first time. It's mostly just drudgery and waiting for the work to start paying off.

Any advice to bring back that spark? I know motivation ebbs and flows over the course of a journey, and it's really more about persistence than constantly being hyped up. But last time I did this, while disgusted at how far I'd let myself go, I felt proud that I was finally doing something about it and determined to get healthy. While I feel determined now, I don't particularly feel proud. I feel more like I let myself down. I told myself I was going to have a healthy pregnancy so I wouldn't have so much to lose. I was healthy but somehow still gained 50 lbs. So in that regard I'm pretty disappointed in myself.

Replies

  • 4bettermenow
    4bettermenow Posts: 166 Member
    Unfortunately, that is all on you. You are the only one who can inspire yourself. You have to figure out how to get to the mental state of mind you need to be in. Best of luck.
  • holliesangel
    holliesangel Posts: 31 Member
    My advice: find something to be excited about or work towards. For me, its a new bikini for my friends beach wedding and to log for 100 days. On exercise, my first goal was 4 miles in an hour. Now I'm working up to 4 and a half. You have to motivate yourself. No one else can do that for you.
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
    Pregnancy is a hard thing to navigate, how do you find the balance of eating enough to properly feed baby and not eating so much that you gain weight. I don't even know! Don't beat yourself up about it. The good news is you already know what to do, so you can hit the ground running. Maybe find something else you can learn and feel proud about, is there a fitness goal you can work towards?
  • TimothyFish
    TimothyFish Posts: 4,925 Member
    I wasn't aware that we were supposed to excited about it. I haven't noticed that I'm any more or less excited about it than the first time around.
  • ana3067
    ana3067 Posts: 5,623 Member
    i don't think I feel excited about the process, I just feel excited about my progress. And I'm excited about my workout routine and about all the delicious food I get to eat (which includes donuts and chocolate etc, unlike my first time losing weight).

    Just eat food you enjoy and do activity you enjoy? Don't really know what else to advise.
  • kristen6350
    kristen6350 Posts: 1,094 Member
    In 2012 I lost 50lbs (193-143, 5'11, female, 33 then). At the end I got cocky and stopped tracking, stopped weighing 1x week. Slowed up on the exercise, it slowly came back. By Dec. 2014 I was 167, which is still in a good range, but I felt miserable. So, I did it again. The same way I did it before. Meticulous tracking, weighing and moving more. Today I'm 152 and I've been doing this since that fateful day in December when I got on the scale after 2 years. I think I'm at a good weight for me, but my journey isn't over, I need to concentrate on strength goals. I'm a good size 8, sometimes 6's. But I'm still pretty flabby. So, next step, getting into a strength routine.

    I think, wholehearted, YOU have to want it and go get it. No one can motivate you as much as you can. So you have to believe you can do it and keep going. Quitting gets no one anywhere.
  • determined_14
    determined_14 Posts: 258 Member
    The medical professionals I know don't put much stock in the "ideal weight gain" for pregnancy. A lovely OB-Gyn friend of mine told me this during my pregnancy: "I hate it when OBs and midwives make patients feel bad when they're trying to do the right thing. I'm also not a believer in the ideal 25 lb weight gain crap. If you grow big babies and have normal amniotic fluid and a normal-sized placenta, that's over 10 pounds right there that you haven't technically gained. Plus your blood volume increases by 50%, which is several more pounds of fluid you'll sweat/pee out after you deliver. If you're staying active and eating a variety of healthy foods and getting enough protein, fruit, veggies, grains, etc, just gain what you gain and let your midwife project her issues onto someone else."
    Admittedly it's nice to gain less, but I think some of us naturally put on more and it's not a bad thing, just a bit tedious to lose. (I gained about 50lbs with my little girl, and it's gone plus a few more pounds now, but she'll be 2 in July. So I totally get where you're coming from!)
    Anyway, you gained what you gained and you produced a baby! Your body is strong and awesome and beautiful just the way it is!
    So go easy on the guilt and frustration. Give yourself some time. Eat (proper proportions) of foods you love. Enjoy your family. Life isn't about obtaining a certain scale number or aesthetic-- it's mostly in the journey. Big hug and lots of luck! :)
  • ElizabethKalmbach
    ElizabethKalmbach Posts: 1,415 Member
    You need to create things to look forward to. Every time I get "sick" with an auto-immune problem, one of the things I notice is sudden, rapid weight gain. So I've had to keep losing the same 25 to 30 lbs over and over again.

    The first thing I get excited about is being HEALTHY again and having more energy. Then I set small goals for my self, like running a mile without stopping, 10 push ups without stopping, squatting with 45lb plates, etc. I set myself a reward for each mini goal, and then work toward it.

    Over time, I have found that most of the goals I have set for myself aren't so much about weight loss, as they are about strength and fitness. The weight just kind of goes away as I get back into being a fit person. (I don't really have much trouble eating healthy - I have trouble maintaining my overall wellness enough to stay fit. YMMV)

    Get into the habit of NOTICING small achievements you have had, and rewarding or at least complimenting yourself on them. Seriously. You worked HARD and you deserve to be praised, even if it's just in a conversation you have with yourself.
  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
    ^ awesome post.

    I remember how I felt having gained so much weight back - looking back at all of the days where I made bad choices and being so angry at myself. Now I feel that no matter what the scale says, if I can look to my recent past and see good choices and hard work there, I can be happy. Because it was never *really* the weight that hurt me, it was the fact that I did it to myself.
  • HappyNinjaStar
    HappyNinjaStar Posts: 353 Member
    ElizabethKalmbach wrote: »
    You need to create things to look forward to. Every time I get "sick" with an auto-immune problem, one of the things I notice is sudden, rapid weight gain. So I've had to keep losing the same 25 to 30 lbs over and over again.

    The first thing I get excited about is being HEALTHY again and having more energy. Then I set small goals for my self, like running a mile without stopping, 10 push ups without stopping, squatting with 45lb plates, etc. I set myself a reward for each mini goal, and then work toward it.

    Over time, I have found that most of the goals I have set for myself aren't so much about weight loss, as they are about strength and fitness. The weight just kind of goes away as I get back into being a fit person. (I don't really have much trouble eating healthy - I have trouble maintaining my overall wellness enough to stay fit. YMMV)

    Get into the habit of NOTICING small achievements you have had, and rewarding or at least complimenting yourself on them. Seriously. You worked HARD and you deserve to be praised, even if it's just in a conversation you have with yourself.

    Thank you, this is very constructive help!

    I think that's just what I need. Small goals to focus on and be proud of myself for. Maybe I'll pick something I didn't do last time.
  • ElizabethKalmbach
    ElizabethKalmbach Posts: 1,415 Member
    I have one "any-time" activity that is it's own reward. There is a custard shop about 2.5 miles from my house. If I put my daughter in the stroller and walk all the way there and back, The custard that I treat myself to when I get there is net 0 calories. :) My daughter loves this activity, and it's a fun weekend trip to look forward to.
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