help!

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erinml1313
erinml1313 Posts: 6
in Health and Weight Loss
I cooked a really really healthy chicken salad for dinner. My fiance cooked a really really unhealthy vat of chili. Also he bought Easter m&ms and Reeses peanut butter eggs. After dinner snacking is my downfall. I feel so guilty because even though I worked out really hard yesterday I still went over my calorie goal. Ive lost about 4lbs in a week and I feel like I gained it all back. How do I say no to delicious junk food while he sits there and hammers it. Ps he doesnt think I need to lose weight so im constantly battling this

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  • ncboiler89
    ncboiler89 Posts: 2,408 Member
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    Just don't do it? You are going to have to motivate yourself.
  • DemoraFairy
    DemoraFairy Posts: 1,806 Member
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    Other than the obvious answer of building more will power, here are a few suggestions:

    1) Save enough calories during the day to allow for after dinner snacks. I do this and eat about a third of my daily calories in snacks (usually chocolate) after dinner.
    2) Buy some low-calorie snacks of your own that you like and eat them while he's eating the other food. Make sure they're foods that you genuinely really like, if you go for something that you're not that fond of you might end up snacking on his stuff as well anyway. I always buy the lowest calorie chocolate bars I can to eat after dinner. I like a Penguin bar just as much as I like a Mars bar, but it's less than half the calories, so I always go for that. That way if my boyfriend's eating chocolate I get to eat something low-calorie and don't feel like I want to have all his food because I'm still eating chocolate myself.
    3) You could try going out for a walk or run or something after dinner to distract yourself from wanting to snack for a bit, or just find something else to distract yourself with.
  • never2bstopped
    never2bstopped Posts: 438 Member
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    MY husband eats 1/2 a tub of ice cream every night and offers me a bite for every bite he takes. I choose not to be in the room when he is having his ice cream.

    He also brought home 2 boxes of my fav girls out cookies because he loves me. I will eat 1 or 2 a day and make it fit because I soo love them.

    In the end it comes down to choosing to have control.
  • ncboiler89
    ncboiler89 Posts: 2,408 Member
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    never2bstopped wrote: »
    MY husband eats 1/2 a tub of ice cream every night and offers me a bite for every bite he takes.

    If he knows what you are trying to do that's just wrong and weird.
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
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    Guilts a waste of time. It doesnt seem you cna do much about him having unhealthy/ calorie dense food around so its always going to be a temptation unless hes willing to adjust. If asking him not to isnt an option, then maybe have some healthy alternatives around or moderate and just have a bit. At some stage it just becomes a matter of dealing with it and saying no to yourself as you want to lose weight more.

    As you log your calories you start to see what makes sense, whether you have space for a 250 calorie chcolate bar or not.

    Working hard in the gym is also another leveller considering how hard you have to work just to burn 250 calories, remind yourself of that when you decide to eat over, sometimes its worth it and others it isnt.

    4lbs in a week is great considering normal weight loss os 1-2lbs a week. Granted some of it may be water, but in theory thats 14,000 calories and its unlikely you ate that.

    Ynknown whether you need to lose weight or not as no details but I hope you are staying within a healthy BMI range and eating at least 1200 calories a day.
  • never2bstopped
    never2bstopped Posts: 438 Member
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    ncboiler89 wrote: »
    never2bstopped wrote: »
    MY husband eats 1/2 a tub of ice cream every night and offers me a bite for every bite he takes.

    If he knows what you are trying to do that's just wrong and weird.

    He grew up with sweets being an expression of love. He isn't trying to be anything other than a loving husband sharing things he enjoys with his wife.

    He knows I work hard and that there are times I can share with him. It is my job to set my limits not his.
  • LAWoman72
    LAWoman72 Posts: 2,846 Member
    edited March 2015
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    Are you just not eating sweets at all or can you figure the sweets into your daily calorie goals and have a few each day or whenever?

    My husband loves the foods that I don't want my kids to generally have. They can have it once in a while, but my husband wants it EVERY day. I asked him to keep his goodies in his college fridge or in a cabinet in the garage so the kids won't have them sticking in their faces any time they go into a cabinet or the fridge. I find I'm not as tempted by them either that way (though that wasn't my motivation for asking him to do this) as I'm not seeing them every time I open a kitchen cabinet (though I would work them into my daily calories if I really wanted them). Perhaps your boyfriend can have his own designated spot for his goodies? I don't know for sure that will work for you and/or that he'd be willing to do it, just trying to brainstorm ideas.

    Have you actually spoken to him about this? Told him how you feel, and that you're really trying and so on? He may not actually know, unless you spell it out for him.

    As far as just saying no: make a firm commitment to yourself. Over time you will get better and better at it. In life, we will ALWAYS be surrounded by food (barring either a giant comet hitting the earth or a zombie apocalypse). So yes, the bottom line really is you learning to say no to yourself, not to have others rearrange their own habits. I have accepted my husband's habits (and yes, he's very overweight). Those are his choices. I don't have to eat what he's eating any more than I have to eat what the next person at a restaurant is eating, or what people at work are eating or whatever. Neither do you. :)
  • beemerphile1
    beemerphile1 Posts: 1,710 Member
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    The weight loss/health journey is a solo one. We are all alone. You decided to open your mouth and insert food. Stop doing it beyond your calorie goal.

    It wasn't his fault unless he held you down and force fed you. :)
  • erinml1313
    erinml1313 Posts: 6
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    I know I made the choice to eat it, but the issue here is that he sees no need for me to lose weight. He has even made comments that my butt is getting smaller and he misses it. He said that I look like I did when we first met...yet I still have about 25 lbs to lose. I cant say the right words to him so he understands what its like to be in this body. I hate it. I used to fight mma and be in top shape. Now im subjected to his home cooking (delicious yet very unhealthy) but because I made such a fit about it, he doesnt cook and just orders out. When I say no thanks ill make something here, he complains about me using all the food in the house. But hes not using it!!! Im fighting this fight alone with little support. He says just work your core and leave your butt alone. He doesnt know how unhappy I am with my body. Its like talking to a brick wall who thinks his opinion of my body should be the only one that matters.
  • erinml1313
    erinml1313 Posts: 6
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    Also...I have no will power. I have always suffered from the eating disorder of over eating...if it tastes good ill keep eating it even if it hurts. Since I was a kid I have been like this. I have ended up doing terrible things to my body to lose weight. I dont want that anymore. I want to be healthy but be happy. Willpower is my biggest struggle.
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,575 Member
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    You might have more willpower if you lightened up a bit on your diet. 4 lbs a week sounds overly agressive.
  • erinml1313
    erinml1313 Posts: 6
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    Im not striving for 4 lbs....it just happened. I have slowed down a bit lost .8 lbs in one week. In looking for more around 2lbs a week

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