Motivation has left the building....

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sherrydarling1
sherrydarling1 Posts: 4 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi all, I've been trying for 2 months....so hard.... to do this weight-loss thing, but somehow, some way, my motivation and drive has left the building. I eat less than 1500 calories per day, cardio at the gym 3x's a week, no eating after 8 (most nights), one "cheat meal" a week, and I've lost 10.2 pounds in 8 weeks. I've been happy enough with that, considering my plan isn't as stringent as some others, but then BAM. I want to quit and eat whatever I want, whenever I want. I feel like a failure. Like I will never do this. And I can't explain why this happened. I know better, and have actually been looking forward to the gym work-outs.

I promised myself that I would evaluate my situation if or when this happened to me again. I would normally go to food for comfort. I know I'm having a few depressing days, like an anniversary I didn't want to face, a birthday, and Easter has always been bad for me. I know there are other options, but right now, my brain is not cooperating!

Please tell me what you have done to get through a bad spell, or the overwhelming feeling of failure.

Replies

  • lessismoreohio
    lessismoreohio Posts: 910 Member
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    I feel like I'm a failure at this about 50% of the time. I'll have my good days and them my bad days. I think it's important to 1) Recognize that there are going to be set-backs. It's all part of the big picture and 2) Recognize that there is no real failure short of not trying. Good luck to you on your weight loss and fitness journey.
  • erin_hall
    erin_hall Posts: 1 Member
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    Happens to me as well. I've learned to accept this as part of the process. Just because you backslide it does not undo the workouts and the good choices you have made or the pounds you have lost. Everything counts and cannot be undone, the good and the bad. For extra motivation I attach rewards to pounds lost and keep on my frigde. Non food rewards, makeup, new shoes etc.
  • ElizabethKalmbach
    ElizabethKalmbach Posts: 1,416 Member
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    Sometimes you just need a "rest" to reset your attitude and renew your commitment. Sometimes I JUST worry about going to the gym and let myself eat whatever. Sometimes (especially if I'm injured) I dial it back at the gym and just keep eating healthy. Doing everything at once all the time is tiring sometimes - especially if it's new to you. Take a day or two off from some of it with a pre-determined date to get back into the thick of things. Then congratulate yourself on the progress you've made and think about what your next set of goals will be.
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
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    Ok sherrydarling1.. (love the name)..

    This is a bit of tough love.. You are just a little older than me so here's some food for thought.

    One you have jumped in with both feet to this commitment, you will be fine. It seems that what happens is your mind takes you to another direction and once you have made up your mind to do this, the rest will follow. It is sort of syncing your brain with your body..

    A thought that turns into actions = results (desired or not).. I could go on, but I will end that there ... and as my momma told me years ago, "you can do anything you set your mind to"...

    Get your mind straight then : you got this! :):)
  • ejmartin2001
    ejmartin2001 Posts: 19 Member
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    gia07, your motivational message to sherrydarling1 so encouraged me! I've been playing with the same 2 lbs for 3 weeks--I think I'm subconsciously sabatoging myself--and your message was just what I needed. Thank you! :smiley:
  • sherrydarling1
    sherrydarling1 Posts: 4 Member
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    Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement and sharing with me how you are dealing with this journey. Every bit helps. I know I can't be alone with this problem. I am going to try out a new gym today and maybe spark a little motivation into existence. I don't want to quit...I feel so great with even 10 pounds gone. I am also going to try to just relax about it, step back, and breathe. :smile:

  • brenstar05
    brenstar05 Posts: 70 Member
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    I absolutely know how you feel. A few years ago I decided to really get serious about my health. I lost about 40 lbs over the course of 6 months and was feeling and looking great. Halloween was right around the corner and my friends and I had the best group costume... I was a knockout as Miss Scarlet (if I do say so myself). So, I decided to let myself relax for the Halloween weekend. I didn't think about what I was consuming, I went out drinking, I didn't go to the gym. It was only one weekend, what's the big deal.

    When I got on the scale that Monday morning, I had gained 7 pounds. 7 pounds?!?! Seriously in 3 days? It was at that moment that I realized that I was going to have to be diligent about what I ate and how much I exercised for the rest of my life. Every day that I wake up, I have to think about it, I have to own it... because if I don't, I'll gain 7 pounds in a weekend. That thought completely deflated me. I was so upset by the fact that I could never just relax when it comes to diet and exercise. And so, I went completely in the opposite direction. I stopped trying, I ate whatever I wanted and I didn't exercise nearly enough. What's the point if you gain 7 pounds in one weekend, right?

    Ok... so long story. But I'm back to that starting weight again. Put all 40 back on. And now I have to start over. I am still struggling to get myself back into the mindset that I had the first time around. And somehow I need to turn that knowledge that I have to constantly be vigilant from a negative into a positive. I am definitely still a work in progress. But know that you are not alone. And that every day is a new day and whatever you did yesterday doesn't matter anymore. You have to, as you said, just step back, take a deep breath and feel good about today. Good luck!
  • sherrydarling1
    sherrydarling1 Posts: 4 Member
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    Hi brenstar05,

    I completely understand! The most I ever lost was 45 pounds, but got a little careless and then, before I knew it, I gained it all back, plus some. I did not fail yesterday, and I did go to a new gym on a guess pass, but this week-end will be a HUGE challenge. My birthday is tomorrow and it falls on "cheat meal" day...lol. Then Easter at a friends and she is a great cook! Everyone in the family is bringing homemade goodies. My plan to handle it is Two Bites - that's it.

    I am still here, you are still here, so that's a success! I am going to read through all the posts on this forum each day, too. I never know when something will "click" and be helpful for that day....just like ejmartin2001 said she was motivated above.

    lessismoreohio said "There is no failure short of not trying" Love it! Need to embrace it.
    erin_hall said "Accept that is part of the process" True, true, true
    Elizabeth said "Rest - recommit - dial it back - reset goals" A good idea!!
    gia07 said "A thought that turns into actions = results (desired or not).." Tough love is a good dose of reality.... results desired or not!
    brenstar05 "Diligent for the rest of my life" Yes, afraid so. Me, too.

    Thank you! These are the kinds of things that belong on post-it notes tacked onto my fridge!
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
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    sherrydarling1 wrote: »
    Hi all, I've been trying for 2 months....so hard.... to do this weight-loss thing, but somehow, some way, my motivation and drive has left the building. I eat less than 1500 calories per day, cardio at the gym 3x's a week, no eating after 8 (most nights), one "cheat meal" a week, and I've lost 10.2 pounds in 8 weeks. I've been happy enough with that, considering my plan isn't as stringent as some others, but then BAM. I want to quit and eat whatever I want, whenever I want. I feel like a failure. Like I will never do this. And I can't explain why this happened. I know better, and have actually been looking forward to the gym work-outs.

    I promised myself that I would evaluate my situation if or when this happened to me again. I would normally go to food for comfort. I know I'm having a few depressing days, like an anniversary I didn't want to face, a birthday, and Easter has always been bad for me. I know there are other options, but right now, my brain is not cooperating!

    Please tell me what you have done to get through a bad spell, or the overwhelming feeling of failure.

    You got it when you said its fear. You are ubnsure of yourself whether you can or will succeed and part of you jst wants to let rip. Toy are doing really well and have a sensible diet plan. You arent a failure whether you stick to it or not, thats just you beating up on yourself and anxiety. Keep reminding yourself you are on your diet and you are doing well.

    Find an alternative go to instead of food, a movie, music, a walk, talk to a friend.
    This is a very important choice you have to make, stick with it if the end result is you wnat to make more likely that you will lose the weight you wish. You will need to make a few sacrifices, but you are thinking about the choicces you make. make them in advance, so if you wnat to treat yourself for your birthday, do so, same with your friend, but moderate the amount you have and do some extra work at the gym to take the edge off it.

    All you need o do is believe in yourself, you know the choices which help you, so its just a case of standing by them. I find it easy to make them because im interested in getting to goal sooner rather than later. Im also fine if I go off track because I see the bigger picture. Dont stress its not worth it, keep on going. Have confidence if you take it 1 day and one lb at a time it adds up, you dont need to look further ahead than that.
  • cj94404
    cj94404 Posts: 154 Member
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    My own yoyo patterns annoys me. I have never been a fad diet person. My friends do juicing and fasting and cabbage diets. I am on a three year yoyo cycle. One year to lose, about six months stable, six months of ignoring good habits and then four months of denial that I have gained all the weight back. The slippage is so gradual. A weekend of no exercise and two or three bad food options mixed in with good food choices. Then 10 days of no gym. And so on.

    So maybe being attuned to that initial slippage is what I need. I like/admire you thought to try a new gym. Other than hiking I really dislike most exercise. It is always work. And I never get really fit. Like noticeably fit in my mind. I did a kayak tour last year when I thought I was fit and I felt so old and not capable. The guide offered to tow me and I felt humiliated. I refused but man it hurt. He knew I was dying too.

    Do concrete goals work for you? Maybe setting some easy to reach ones might help?
  • suraith
    suraith Posts: 5 Member
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    I feel like im starting over again. I gained 20lbs in the last 6 months. My motivation has been in the crapper!:( But I need to start somewhere. Reading your post has given me hope and support. You get it! This is something I need to do and really want but easily forget when faced with everyday life. I need to adopt the diligent for life mentality and stop doing it later mentality. I'm going to read posts on here daily to keep my head o
  • Nataliegetfit
    Nataliegetfit Posts: 395 Member
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    I have lost 21 lbs in 3 months, the last month things have slowed down a lot for loosing. I still have 25 or so lbs I need to loose. I am a little frustrated about the slowdown, but not stopping. I did loose a little and stop about a year ago. Gained those pounds back and another 10 on top of that. Whatever you do, keep up the good exercise and logging habits. When you do eat out, be conscious of what you are eating, try to choose things that have less calories, don't pick the worst thing on the menu. I feel when I exercise I choose much better foods to eat. I also am drinking a lot of water and hot tea. I have zero calories for drinks.
    Just know we all have bad days, or days when we think is it worth all the work I am putting in and tell yourself yes. I am worth it!!!! I am continuing on, trying to eat healthy. I know with Easter coming it won't be easy. I am planning on eating a nice size salad first. I am also counting and logging my favorite candy and only having a couple for the taste. Really the first two bites are always the best. Realize when you're just mindlessly eating out of a bag or box, or just when you're bored, or used to snack at a certain time.
    Good luck, keep on keeping on. It's a slow process, be patient.
  • Nataliegetfit
    Nataliegetfit Posts: 395 Member
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    On the last month was like maybe 3 lbs only lost.
  • sherrydarling1
    sherrydarling1 Posts: 4 Member
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    Hi all,

    Good to see such support for each other here. I went out today with my aunt and cousin that I only usually see at Christmas...to do something different. It was so enjoyable! I had a glass of wine and a few pieces of chicken...turned down pizza and chips! I left feeling accomplished. I did have an awkward moment when we were all leaving in one car and I just couldn't get the seatbelt on quick enough. Had to pull it WAAAAY out...UGH. I will be soooo happy when these little things stop happening to me.

    999tigger: You said, "Find an alternative go to instead of food, a movie, music, a walk, talk to a friend". This was great for me today. :smile: I am still facing food when I get home, though. Always tough.

    cj94404: "The guide offered to tow me and I felt humiliated." See my comment above ....seatbelt nightmares. Also plane seats, and rides at amusement parks. At Universal Studios in Orlando, before you get onto a ride, they have you sit in the "Plus-Size Test Chairs" (doubt that's the real name) before you can be seated. EMBARRASSING.

    .....and cj94404, 2 more things: About hating the gym...me, too....but my brother-in-law helped me by telling me that my gym goal is simple...just go 3 x's a week, that's the goal. Do whatever you want when you get there. You feel kind of silly just standing there watching or waiting for them to install a nice bar or couch and tv...LOL.
    Also, concrete decisions help me. Someone once told me that one you make a decision, do not look back. All other options are off the table!

    suraith: "Reading your post has given me hope and support. You get it!" Thank-you and, yes, sadly, I do get it. Ugh. So frustrating. I quit cold turkey on January 31st out of disgust. Joined a gym same day. Signed up here and made the decision to do 3 things: 1,500 calories, gym 3x's a week, and track it all. Not perfect, struggling, but complying!

    Nataliegetfit: "It's a slow process, be patient" Your post has lots of great motivation in it - congrats on your weight loss so far! I quote your parting words because really that's just it. I want to speed it up, but not be so drastic I can't live with it the rest of my life. I know there are slow times. I am here for the long haul.

    (Thank you!!)


  • cj94404
    cj94404 Posts: 154 Member
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    Sherrydarling you are so right about getting into the gym. I get it done when I am there.

    So thank you. I was grumpy this morning.

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