Body Shaming

singmyheartout4you
singmyheartout4you Posts: 245
edited November 15 in Motivation and Support
Hey there guys,
So I haven't been on it a while because of something.
Around the last time I was on, I had lost about 20 pounds and was very proud (I also have a small frame so while 20 pounds may not seem like a lot, it looked like a lot) . I have very bad knees and its hard for me to lose weight but the more thats off, the easier it is on my knees.
Well I was pretty active in the message boards and I started getting people saying awful things to me due to my profile picture ( which was at the peak of my fitness the last time I was on). They started saying rude things about my size and its stuck with me. Now it still haunts me. So Im just looking for a little support on how to get what they said out of my head. Any advice? Im actually scared to post this but here goes.
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Replies

  • Bugdude54
    Bugdude54 Posts: 137 Member
    Why do you care what random people on the internet say? We're all nobodies. We will never meet you in person, most won't even know your name. So F them. Its the internet. Who cares. Real life is all that matters.
  • Nataliegetfit
    Nataliegetfit Posts: 395 Member
    I am sorry someone would be so stupid as to say hurtful things to anyone on here. We are all here to better ourselves and for support, encouragement, and advice. We are all at different places in our journey to better ourselves, and some don't realize how something like that can sabotage things. Please, people, only post something positive, helpful, nice, encouraging. Don't let someone else stop you from doing what's right for you. Keep up the good work you are doing to better yourself. Good luck and don't let anything stop you.

  • mariamathsgeek
    mariamathsgeek Posts: 236 Member
    That's awful. You look amazing in your profile picture so I'm guessing it was jealousy fuelling these nasty comments you got. I don't know why anyone would say nasty things about your size as you look very healthy to me. Don't be scared and don't let people get you down. Losing 20lbs is a great achievement so don't let anyone take that away from you. And, welcome back!
  • 1mumrevolution
    1mumrevolution Posts: 269 Member
    Pay no heed. You look amazing!
  • farfromthetree
    farfromthetree Posts: 982 Member
    amyrebeccah wrote: »
    Reading back to your previous posts, I quickly see several compliments of your body (including "fit and healthy," "lady abs love em," and "toned"). I also see you participating in a lot of those stupid chat-category threads where you rate each other and whatnot (although even then, you got compliments). If you don't want to feel self-conscious, maybe stop posting in that category, where people tend to feel free to bash on each other?

    How do you see all of that? I would sometimes like to read previous posts and don't know how to find them...thanks in advance! :smile:
  • blankiefinder
    blankiefinder Posts: 3,599 Member
    If you want to see your previous posts, you can look under notifications > all notifications > replies.

    If you want to see someone else's posts, click the search button in the forums, then click in the author box and start typing their name, pick the right name from the drop down.
  • Samenamenewlook
    Samenamenewlook Posts: 296 Member
    amyrebeccah wrote: »
    Reading back to your previous posts, I quickly see several compliments of your body (including "fit and healthy," "lady abs love em," and "toned"). I also see you participating in a lot of those stupid chat-category threads where you rate each other and whatnot (although even then, you got compliments). If you don't want to feel self-conscious, maybe stop posting in that category, where people tend to feel free to bash on each other?

    Definitely this

  • waldo11690
    waldo11690 Posts: 51 Member
    mariamathsgeek wrote: »
    That's awful. You look amazing in your profile picture so I'm guessing it was jealousy fuelling these nasty comments you got. I don't know why anyone would say nasty things about your size as you look very healthy to me. Don't be scared and don't let people get you down. Losing 20lbs is a great achievement so don't let anyone take that away from you. And, welcome back!

    I second this.
  • farfromthetree
    farfromthetree Posts: 982 Member
    thank you so much @amyrebeccah and @blankiefinder...I cannot believe I didn't know this existed!
  • TR0berts
    TR0berts Posts: 7,739 Member
    girl_fishing.gif
  • Dave55412
    Dave55412 Posts: 88 Member
    Screw what anyone else's opinion is of you. If they were so perfect, they wouldn't be here. Trolls will always be on message boards. Just ignore them. I have bad knees too. They sound like a breakfast cereal, snap, crackle and pop. The pops are the painful ones. :'(
  • farfromthetree
    farfromthetree Posts: 982 Member
    I wanted to share this quote with you. An MFP friend posted on his newsfeed. He was 650 pounds and is now 260. This is part what he wrote today:

    A man pulls up, rolls his window down, and begins to berate me about my weight. Sick crap like I should just die, that I am disgusting... Stuff you know people say behind your back at times, but this guy was full on roid rampaging to my face... Light turns green and he peels out, and my family and I are stunned and upset... Sister is furious... And I decide after a couple of moments, *uck him... I don't know that *kitten*... He doesn't know me... And I'm not going to let the narrow minded views of a complete stranger ruin my day... He doesn't know me, my story, my goals, and the work I've put in... He's just not worth it... RANT OVER ;)

    This my dear is true body shaming. If he can get past it so can you. Especially since you have (and I think you know it too) a perfectly fine body.
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
    TR0berts wrote: »
    girl_fishing.gif

    Yep

  • lbetancourt
    lbetancourt Posts: 522 Member
    quit looking to others for approval...
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
    edited April 2015
    Strong fishing.

    I'd be less inclined to draw attention to myself if I had a negative experience the first time around.
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,575 Member
    Only you can choose to ignore bad comments from strangers. But if you are so concerned about comments about your body, then I'd suggest choosing something other than your body partially clothed for a profile pic.
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    People on the internet called me manly. I feel bad for them. Must suck to hold such terrible thoughts on how others look and to be concerned enough about another's appearance to bother commenting.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Interesting profile pic for someone so 'scared' of being judged on their figure....
  • sullus
    sullus Posts: 2,839 Member
    Stuck with you so hard that you're here begging for more ... I doubt what you described happened.
  • benjaminhk
    benjaminhk Posts: 353 Member
    I'm sorry that total strangers on the Internet are able to get in your head that easily. Some people just like to bully but you shouldn't take them so seriously. They are just jerks. Also, based on your photos, I don't see anything you should be ashamed of... not to imply that anyone should feel ashamed of their body... you get what I mean. I hope.
  • KMasz
    KMasz Posts: 2,732 Member
    usmcmp wrote: »
    People on the internet called me manly. I feel bad for them. Must suck to hold such terrible thoughts on how others look and to be concerned enough about another's appearance to bother commenting.

    Really?! If you look manly, then *kitten*, sign me up! :drinker:
  • xesixb
    xesixb Posts: 165 Member
    Honey, you look gorgeous. You should only be proud of your success and pls don't total strangers ruin your day. Let them be green with envy!
  • Mrsallen6_11
    Mrsallen6_11 Posts: 416 Member
    "It is better to be hated for who you are, than loved for who you are not." - Kurt Cobain

    Basically: you worry about you and let them worry about themselves. Don't seek approval about the way you look from a bunch of strangers. If you think you look good and you're happy with your healthy lifestyle (at least I hope it is healthy) then stick with it and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

    s9w3k7zbqj8d.jpg
  • angellak
    angellak Posts: 68 Member
    You go girl! You should be proud of what you have accomplished. They are immature and envious. It has nothing to do with you. It is all about them, so don't take it to heart. Keep it up! :)
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    someone on the internet was mean to you?? that's unbelievable. usually people on the internet are so level headed, and not strongly opinionated or anything.
  • Cimmkar
    Cimmkar Posts: 23 Member
    Ignore them. They are simply idiots. Keepvdoing what your doing and dont listen to them.
  • singmyheartout4you
    singmyheartout4you Posts: 245
    Thanks to the people that posted helpful/nice things! @clinmkar @angellak @msallen_11 @xesixb @benjaminhkohl @usmcmp @Need2Exerc1se @Dave55412 @waldo11690 @Bugdude54 @natiliegetfit @mariamathsgeek and @1mumrevolution
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,024 Member
    LETTING it affect you is what they want. Essentially it's their "power" over you. When you respond with defense, anger, sadness, etc., they're getting their kicks.
    The thing is even IF they approved, how would that change your life? Would you be more financially secure? Or make you better at your job? Enhance your current relationship?

    Probably not. So really, why does it matter what others think of you? There will always be supporters and detractors. That's just the way it is. YOU choose whether or not to let it affect you. And IMO, you shouldn't.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    9285851.png
  • jaliving
    jaliving Posts: 57 Member
    If someone is being hurtful, report them. MFP does not want bullies on their platform. Also, here in the US online bullying is a criminal offense. Be assertive and protect yourself, your friends, and MFP.
  • LORI35pittsburgh
    LORI35pittsburgh Posts: 17 Member
    like i told a new person the other day stay away from forums... esp when you are new and dont have a profile filled out yet... they chastised this poor woman for everything....and lord forbid if you ask a question when you are new and have a question that has been asked a zillion times.. yet they re rude to the person cause the dont know about the search feature....
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