21 years old and 90 pounds lost with photos

Hi everyone! My name is Bailee and I am 21 years old and here is my story

I began gaining weight in middle school after I was raped and assaulted when leaving my school Valentines Day dance. I turned to food to ease the pain it caused. It was a temporary happiness and much better than the anxiety attacks and nightmares.

For the most part I was in denial about how much I weighed. If a photo was taken of me I would quickly untag myself and tell myself it was just a bad angle. I wore granny panties (how embarrassing) AND spankies everyday under my jeans and one of those tight tank tops that was supposed to make your stomach flat. I was a mess.

I began losing weight right before I graduated high school. I had the amazing opportunity to speak at my graduation but was mortified to get on stage in front of thousands of people. There was no controlling the angle in which a photo was taken of me. No telling them which side was my 'good side'. I only lost about 20 pounds before graduating but it was enough to notice.

It has been about 2 1/2 years since then. I have hit hard points, times where i didn't lose for weeks, moments of weakness where i cried for hours after looking in the mirror. I struggle on a daily with loving myself but its something that i am working on. I personally thing the metal side of weight loss is harder than the physical sometimes.

It has been a slow process but it has been worth it. I have stopped and restarted multiple times (Christmas *cough cough*) but I will eventually be where I want to be and that is what matters.