Need tough love! It seems impossible

lauren478
lauren478 Posts: 7
edited November 15 in Motivation and Support
Hey everyone... I'm just starting my weight loss journey, yet again. I'm the highest weight I have ever been in my life at 210 and I really want to lose the weight FOR GOOD. I have gained over 70 pounds in the past two years after getting married. Before I got married two years ago I was 160 lbs, the healthiest I had been since my high school weight of 135. Even then I did not feel like I was a healthy weight for my height. I have never been thin in my life, I've always been very curvy, so I don't even know if it is possible.

I have a really hard time losing weight because it comes off really really slowly. I hate having to give up so much (food, alcohol, time) when I don't see the results. I also have a very addictive personality, so its all or nothing for me. I can't just wean things out or do cheat days because that never works. I'm really frustrated in myself and don't even know how to keep myself motivated.

I've joined Planet Fitness and I am educated on how to eat healthy. I just have trouble applying what I know.

Can anyone give me some tough love/advice/motivation? Anything helps!!!! You can be harsh, as long as its helpful and not mean!

Replies

  • dawnsandusky1
    dawnsandusky1 Posts: 14 Member
    hi everyone :) , i am not so new here. I started on this app over a year ago and never stuck to it. i too am 5'3' and around 170 lbs . I am older than you guys i think. I am 48 now and i gained 30lbs about two 1/2 years ago and have stayed pretty much the same for the last year. I was always the same size until my 45th birthday and then, who knows what happened. i have said i was going to lose before....But this time i am determined for things to be different. I started b12 injections, bought a total gym, and i plan to run/walk at least once a day with my dog and began tracking my calories today. Fresh start!!!!
    so you are not alone !!!!!!!!!
  • maxjaffa
    maxjaffa Posts: 4
    Hey Lauren, it is very hard to keep motivated. I struggle with that. I have learnt to be truthful when logging, have a bad day..leave it behind, a new day is around the corner. Get as many mfp as you can as their kind words can mean a lot on a day to day basis... Go for it. X
  • kay2134
    kay2134 Posts: 3 Member
    Hello
    I too am in need of some motivation I have an almost two year old daughter after having her I weighed 168lb I now weigh 148 I was so pleased to have lost that much but now my weight has stopped and I know it is slowly creeping up. I just can't seem to loose anymore that's when I started to care less I now have the mindset of why should I try if I don't loose weight and I need to get back on track! Perhaps we can support each other in our journeys ?? Kay
  • csteuter
    csteuter Posts: 87 Member
    hi everyone :) , i am not so new here. I started on this app over a year ago and never stuck to it. i too am 5'3' and around 170 lbs . I am older than you guys i think. I am 48 now and i gained 30lbs about two 1/2 years ago and have stayed pretty much the same for the last year. I was always the same size until my 45th birthday and then, who knows what happened. i have said i was going to lose before....But this time i am determined for things to be different. I started b12 injections, bought a total gym, and i plan to run/walk at least once a day with my dog and began tracking my calories today. Fresh start!!!!
    so you are not alone !!!!!!!!!

    Why B12 injections? I had a nurse ask me if I got them and at the time I wondered why she was asking that?
  • bulk_n_cut
    bulk_n_cut Posts: 389 Member
    its difficult, but worth it. and you're right. it takes long. but dont give up. need some tough love? not only (primarily) do it for yourself, but also do it for your husband. just as you'd want to see him nice and fit, imagine whats going through his head if his wife gained 50 lbs in 2 years. he'll never tell you that though.
    and even if he genuinely doesnt think of it that way, imagine he does anyway and use it as motivation =]
    i may get criticized for that approach, but it would work for me, if someone told me 'dude your SO probably isnt all too excited about your fatness'. maybe it'll work for you too, just a suggestion lol
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    edited April 2015
    Some tough love here...I see a lot of things you say that are very counter productive..

    1) All or nothing
    2) I hate to give things up
    3) You give up when you do not see results
    4) You loose weight slowly
    5) You really have not been at a confident weight
    6) You cannot wean or more appropriate moderate your choices
    7) Joined a gym (but do not know how to apply what?)

    See any relevance in the statements above you made: they are ALL negative... not one thing positive in your words..

    I see FEAR... LACK OF COMMITMENT...HATE CHANGE... WILL NOT APPLY YOUR SELF....

    No sugar coating.... can't never could!!!

    EDITED TO ADD: You get your motivation when you make up your mind! Once it becomes something you desire (which starts as a thought in the mind) you will make a plan, the rest will catch up... IT STARTS IN YOUR MIND FIRST... :):):)
  • 1Cor1510
    1Cor1510 Posts: 413 Member
    I could have written this post word for word. For real. I started where you are in 2012, 210 lbs. I yo yo'd my way up and down, and in 2013 I got down to 180. August of 2013 I fell off the wagon. Saw 189 on the scale the day before Christmas 2013 and said "Oh Hell NO"! Back on the wagon. I got down to 161 this past summer, and fell off the wagon again Sept -Dec, back up 169. I am now 165, I was 135 in high school like you and never felt skinny either, gotta love those curves. I used to say I'm built like a mac truck lol. It's really not funny, though. So for motivation/inspiration, here goes.
    • /take it one day at a time. Start over EVERY day. Yesterday doesn't matter, it's right here and now that the choices you make are going to make a difference in the future.
    • I still drink alcohol and eat whatever I want. I eat fast food almost daily. I am not good at depriving myself of anything, moderation is the key. I found IIFYM and that's what saved me.
    • You really have to do what works FOR YOU. I am not and will NEVER be a clean eater. There's just too much good junk food out there.
    You won't be an expert on losing weight right away, and you don't have to be, but keep learning.
    • Find some friends here that you can relate to, people who log in every day and can share in your successes and pick you up when you're down. It made ALL the difference for me.
    I started at Planet Fitness too. It doesn't matter if people on here don't like PF (trust me, many don't) What matters is that you've started! Keep challenging yourself and trying new things. If you're like me, your body adapts to the exercise you're doing, so shake it up once in a while. ( I started running last summer and love it, but 8 months of running I didn't lose a single inch, so if it's not working, shake it up!)

    Please friend me if you want. You will see my diary filled with Merlot and vodka, pizza and cheeseburgers, and NSV's and struggles.

    Since starting and feeling so overwhelmed so long ago, at a size 14-16, in the last 2 years I've started lifting heavy (just in the last 2 weeks so I don't know if what I lift you could call "heavy" yet, but I'm trying), I've run (5) 5k's, and tried so many things I never would have done in the beginning because I was felt too fat and unhealthy.

    I now weigh 165, but I weighed 165 when I got married and I was a size 12, now I'm in size 8, and those are getting big. The moral of that story is that the stupid scale is evil. Don't use that as your only gauge of your progress. Take pictures, measurements, and celebrate every success, no matter how little.

    Sorry so long, I wish you success!
  • Bugdude54
    Bugdude54 Posts: 137 Member
    You don't need tough love or advise. You know what you need to do. Stop making excuses for yourself and go out there and do it.

    Some smart probably Chinese guy once said. Those who want it find a way to get it. Those who do not, find excuses.

    It was something like that
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    No one can do this for you.

    If you really wanted it, you would get on with it and not write posts expecting some incredible (magical) reply that will do it for you.
  • bulk_n_cut
    bulk_n_cut Posts: 389 Member
    Bugdude54 wrote: »
    You don't need tough love or advise. You know what you need to do. Stop making excuses for yourself and go out there and do it.

    Some smart probably Chinese guy once said. Those who want it find a way to get it. Those who do not, find excuses.

    It was something like that

    kvqi7tfyae9i.jpg
    1.jpg 298.3K
  • Bugdude54
    Bugdude54 Posts: 137 Member
    Bugdude54 wrote: »
    You don't need tough love or advise. You know what you need to do. Stop making excuses for yourself and go out there and do it.

    Some smart probably Chinese guy once said. Those who want it find a way to get it. Those who do not, find excuses.

    It was something like that

    kvqi7tfyae9i.jpg

    Haha. Love it
  • Thank you everyone for the replies!!! :)
  • spartan_d
    spartan_d Posts: 727 Member
    You asked for tough love, right?

    ICor1510 pointed out that (a) many people here don't like Planet Fitness, and (b) what really matters is that you've started. Both statements are 100% correct. Planet Fitness is good for beginners in the sense that it's a dirt cheap and commonly available starting point. It is not good, however, insofar as they provide meager tools and a lot of misinformation-- not to mention that they prohibit many of the most useful exercises for weight loss and overall fitness.

    Having said that, her other point is totally valid. You've gotten started, and if you sustain this effort, then that's more than what most people do.

    The most important things to aim for are (a) educating yourself on fitness and nutrition, and (b) pushing yourself harder and harder. This is where -- at the risk of offending some people here -- I'd urge you to eventually move past the Planet Fitness phase. The harsh reality is that they do limit what people can do, and for reasons that are poorly justified. They also tend to promote a lot of foolish misinformation, such as the notion that bench pressing is only for bodybuilders or that deadlifting, jumping rope, etc constitute "lunkish" behavior. Not to mention that they don't set a very good example as far as dietary habits go.

    I'd normally be more reluctant to say these things, simply because some people do get angry at any criticism of PF's methods. You did ask for tough love though, and based on that request, I suspect that you can handle the truth better than most.
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