I think I'm ready to admit I'm an addict...

karatsd
karatsd Posts: 35
edited September 27 in Motivation and Support
I missed an important event for someone (husband's family) because I simply forgot. I apologized sincerely via a voice mail and then when they returned my call, I apologized again. At the end I made a joke with nervous laughter that I was completely self-absorbed and just wasn't thinking about them on that one night but I promise that I think about them the other 99.9% of the time. They called me back five minutes later to say that my apology was not sincere and was disrespectful! I'm so upset right now and all I want to do is eat...I guess I truly am an addict. I truly believe that certain food is the only thing that will calm me down. But first, and I hope, instead...I'm writing this. Someone please help, I am crying.

Replies

  • snickerpants
    snickerpants Posts: 44 Member
    It isn't the end of the world! I am sorry you have people that won't allow you to be human. I guess they are super-human? Well, you don't need to eat to calm down because they aren't worth the trouble or time. Stay strong!
  • beautylovetruth
    beautylovetruth Posts: 130 Member
    Send me a message hun, you sound like you're in a dark place. Let me know the whole scenario and get out all your feelings. Please don't binge eat if you can help it or pick something healthy so that you do not feel that guilt on top of what you are already feeling.

    Peace and love dear.
  • beautylovetruth
    beautylovetruth Posts: 130 Member
    It isn't the end of the world! I am sorry you have people that won't allow you to be human. I guess they are super-human? Well, you don't need to eat to calm down because they aren't worth the trouble or time. Stay strong!

    I agree with this as well!
  • snickerpants
    snickerpants Posts: 44 Member
    Also, it might help to get up and dance.(pretend that you're dancing on someone's grave if it helps!)
  • amymrls
    amymrls Posts: 1,673 Member
    Hugs! I am the master of putting my foot in my mouth. Please don't cry. If your apology was sincere when you said it, it was sincere enough. No matter what anyone says. They will get over it and move on and if they don't it is there loss! Give yourself a hug. You are beautiful and deserve it.
  • MrsShalon2u
    MrsShalon2u Posts: 1
    awww... I just dont know what to say but I do wanna help. If you have already chose food then hopefully it was something healthy. Full up on grapes or oranges, maybe even some yogurt or nuts, Cheese and cracker. We are all human so that entitles us to make mistakes. You are only cheating yourself but it is forgivable. Send a card or fruit basket with chocolates.... You made a mistake no one can really judge but God.... So let go and Let God.... This battle is not yours!!!! ~Shalon
  • deniseg31
    deniseg31 Posts: 667 Member
    Hey there...I think a lot of us on this site are addicted to food and that is why we are here. You did your part and apologized and if they don't accept your apology then wait until they come around. Try to do something else that interests you. I don't know where youa are so don't know what timeframe you are in but if it's late at night watch something on TV or call it an early night. If it's daytime go out for a walk or so. You can do it...hang in there. Good luck...
  • a_stronger_steph
    a_stronger_steph Posts: 434 Member
    Aw, this sounds like something I would totally do! I'm such a forgetful person. :( I'm sorry they're not being understanding, and they probably have no idea how awful you feel about this.

    If you want something to help calm down that isn't food, maybe you could try making yourself a nice warm cup of tea. That helps me sometimes when I'm upset or stressed.

    I'm sure you will work this out with them - everyone just needs some time/distance to calm down, it sounds like. Best of luck! :heart:
  • bovbjerg
    bovbjerg Posts: 172 Member
    That is terrible! We all make mistakes and with busy lives and juggling too many things we are bound to forget something here and there. I would not give them the satisfaction of letting them sabotage your HARD work! Have a hot bath and a cold glass of water and hopefully that will help! Looks like you're doing a great job - keep it up!
  • corsayre8
    corsayre8 Posts: 551 Member
    Only you can know if you were completely sincere. And only you can forgive yourself.

    They are know doubt disappointed, and that is their right. But if they choice to hold on to anger, it is only to their own detriment. But it is their choice, and you don't need to take on more guilt for what they want to do with their own lives.

    As for the eating, is it really comfort? Yes it may taste good. But how is it making you feel? Are you proud that you are eating? Are you going to wake up tomorrow and pat yourself on the back? Or us it going to be another thing you beat yourself up over? Truthfully analyze why you are eating, and how it is affecting your self esteem? That should help enlighten you as to whether or not it is something you truly want to do.
  • Christine1110
    Christine1110 Posts: 1,786 Member
    We are not perfect...no one is. You will just need to try and let it go. In time I'm sure it will all workout.
    Don't let this mess up all your hard work!
  • karatsd
    karatsd Posts: 35
    It isn't the end of the world! I am sorry you have people that won't allow you to be human. I guess they are super-human? Well, you don't need to eat to calm down because they aren't worth the trouble or time. Stay strong!

    I'm not crying because some stupid people hurt my feelings. I'm crying because it just hit me for the first time what type of relationship I have with food. I'm not a person who binges but it is still painful to see myself as not in control.
  • bonjour24
    bonjour24 Posts: 1,119 Member
    in- laws suck!!!
    it's not your fault if they misinterpreted you. why do people have to be so touchy???
    you've said your piece, and you probably apologised again when they complained. leave it there.

    tell your partner when they get in. they will reassure you that the other party is over reacting!

    but how is food going to solve this? food's not going to make you feel better.

    try not to let this take over your brain and ruin your day. it's not worth it.
  • Monsherri
    Monsherri Posts: 69
    Hang in there! I don't know why people have to be so uncaring. We all forget things. I think I turn to food b/c it is always there. Its always kind, not judgmental, and leaves us feeling full and satisfied. That feeling goes away in a very short time and we are left feeling guilty and fat. Like a failure. You have come a long way. Congratulations on your weight loss! Don't let your family's meanness cause you to do something you will regret. I think it's terrible how they treated you, but don't let them win. Use your energy to decide how to address this with them again once everyone cools off. Chins up! !

    Praying for you!!
  • drasr
    drasr Posts: 181
    If you are crying, its a good time to call them back and tell them that your apology was sincere and how it made you feel when they said otherwise.
  • callipygianchronicle
    callipygianchronicle Posts: 811 Member
    Oh dear one. I get it. I so do. I often say, this weight may come off in a year in a year, but I have to live with me forever.

    You screwed up. You forgot something. You fumbled the apology with self-depricating humor. You know what? You're imperfectly human. It's not the last time you're going to drop the ball two yards from the end zone. And that is 100% okay.

    It is okay to be imperfect. It's okay to make mistakes. You don't have to hurt yourself or numb yourself with food because you feel guilt, or because you've had to come face-to-face with your imperfection. What you need to do it feel it, work through it, and know that you can survive those feelings without self-medicating.

    You need to give yourself a little self-love, a little self forgiveness.

    You are wonderfully okay, wonderfully lovable, even when you blow it.

    I blow it all the time. I just blew it big time two times in in one week. I might blow it again in some different way this week. Because i'm human.

    And you know what? You're going to blow it again, too. And when you do, you will still be okay. You CAN work through discomfort without food. Sometimes, the only way to feel better, is to FEEL. Period.
  • karatsd
    karatsd Posts: 35
    Only you can know if you were completely sincere. And only you can forgive yourself.

    They are know doubt disappointed, and that is their right. But if they choice to hold on to anger, it is only to their own detriment. But it is their choice, and you don't need to take on more guilt for what they want to do with their own lives.

    As for the eating, is it really comfort? Yes it may taste good. But how is it making you feel? Are you proud that you are eating? Are you going to wake up tomorrow and pat yourself on the back? Or us it going to be another thing you beat yourself up over? Truthfully analyze why you are eating, and how it is affecting your self esteem? That should help enlighten you as to whether or not it is something you truly want to do.

    It's for comfort in the immediate moment but not in the long run. Drug addicts are the same way, they just want the good feeling now and don't care about tomorrow. But I care about tomorrow and I care about me. Thanks everyone for responding! It helped!
  • LauraLLee
    LauraLLee Posts: 210
    Forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what what lies ahead, I press on, toward the goal of the upward call of God"

    Your signature is a perfect word for you. You have appologized and you could do so again, and tell them you were nervous, you really feel uncomfortable that you let them down.
    You have control over your food. I know how hard it is to move into new behaviors but just dealing with these emotions head on would be the best way for you to learn.

    I hope you work it out and that your family will forgive you. Remember Jesus has already done it all for you and you can walk with confidence in knowing your heart is sincere.

    Hugs!
  • snickerpants
    snickerpants Posts: 44 Member
    "I'm not crying because some stupid people hurt my feelings. I'm crying because it just hit me for the first time what type of relationship I have with food. I'm not a person who binges but it is still painful to see myself as not in control."


    Gotcha. That is a tough one. Then I guess the person that isn't letting you be human is....you?

    Everyone has an addiction, even if it's just endorphins (lucky jerks) The trick is learning to control the addiction instead of letting it control you. If you're here and reaching out for help, doesn't that mean that you are taking control of the situation? I mean to say that that you are actively trying to do something about your desire to eat, even when you feel like it's taking over. Instead of giving in first thing, you wrote on a message board about it.

    I think that says quite a lot of positive things about you.
  • karatsd
    karatsd Posts: 35
    That is terrible! We all make mistakes and with busy lives and juggling too many things we are bound to forget something here and there. I would not give them the satisfaction of letting them sabotage your HARD work! Have a hot bath and a cold glass of water and hopefully that will help! Looks like you're doing a great job - keep it up!

    AHHHHH HOT BATH WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT! THANKS! btw LOVE YOUR SIGNATURE QUOTE AND AM PUTTING IT ON MY FRIDGE RIGHT NOW!
  • karatsd
    karatsd Posts: 35
    "I'm not crying because some stupid people hurt my feelings. I'm crying because it just hit me for the first time what type of relationship I have with food. I'm not a person who binges but it is still painful to see myself as not in control."


    Gotcha. That is a tough one. Then I guess the person that isn't letting you be human is....you?

    Everyone has an addiction, even if it's just endorphins (lucky jerks) The trick is learning to control the addiction instead of letting it control you. If you're here and reaching out for help, doesn't that mean that you are taking control of the situation? I mean to say that that you are actively trying to do something about your desire to eat, even when you feel like it's taking over. Instead of giving in first thing, you wrote on a message board about it.

    I think that says quite a lot of positive things about you.
    This really works doesn't it? THANK YOU...I'm gonna go take a bath now!
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