Really struggling

MysticalT · April 2015

I have never really battled with my weight. I was a size 6/8 teenager and even when I was pregnant with my second child in my 20's I was wearing size 10 jeans.I did have one slip around the age of 14 when I went up to a size 12 but after a few months it was back off again.

My children's father I believe was the start of it Even in a size 10 he said I was fat and I ended up putting on lots of weight and hitting a size 16. Once we split (after 13 years) I eventually got back down to a size 10, but not for long. Maybe it was just life but I met someone else and over the last 5 years my weight has crept back up again to almost a size 14. I'm not happy with my weight.

I know MFP works for me, I've used it before successfully but for some reason I am finding it so hard this time around.

I start off the day well, input what will be for dinner and try to work the rest of my meals around this but every day I give in. By dinner time I am over cals and think 'I will try again tomorrow', but I start again every day.

I can't eat first thing so, as I work in a school, breakfast time is at break time ( half past 10) I end up grabbing toast which isn't great. Then comes lunch ( 1 o clock) and I usually go for soup, bread and a packet of crisps, I used to take salad but I hated watching everyone else enjoy their lovely warm lunches and I gave in.

Then when I get home ( 5pm ish) it all goes down hill, I pick at anything before dinner and put way too much on my plate. I will then spend the evening grazing on crisps, biscuits,basically just crap. With breakfast and lunch I know that I don't have enough calories left to eat the dinner I planned anyway so I think sod it and eat what I want.

How do I stop this cycle? How do I stop myself giving in on a daily basis. Is 1200 calories really that hard to stick to? I have tried losing more slowly to up my calories but it seems to make my habits worse.

I know that only I can control what I eat and the choice to give in. This was so easy last time, why is it so hard now?

bettybing1 · April 2015

Firstly, I'm sorry you had someone so negative in your life but i am very glad you've got away from that. However, you also seem like you might be battling a lot of self-imposed negativity and don't sound like you have much belief in yourself. But you should because you've come such a long way.
I personally believe that people put a lot of pressure on themselves to look like they did in their teens and use it as a benchmark for the rest of their lives - forget about your teen body because it was never your adult body and therefore never can be (I sort of have an outsiders perspective on this, but maybe that's why I want to help people see how unrealistic that comparison is).
I do think 1200 cals is too low - at a guess you may have entered that you want to lose 2lbs a week? That's not really achievable so it's given you the lowest healthy amount of calories to consume (you see 1200cal a lot on here). Use this - http://iifym.com/tdee-calculator/ It should give you a more accurate idea of what your body needs.
Also, if you struggle with healthy choices, plan ahead. Plan in several snacks a day so you aren't ravenous between meals. Just using MFP isn't enough to help you make healthy choices, you need to build in some structure.
And personally, I'd ditch the soup for lunch - i find it never fills me for long enough and the only way to make it do so is to eat a load of bread (it seems you may have the same problem so you fill up with crisps and bread). Try a stew instead or a super chunky soup with lentils in.
Finally, it's hard for a few reasons. It could be that your heart isn't in it, that you are unhappy but don't want to change your lifestyle, it could be because you're older now, it might be that you need a support system. You have to find a way to make it work for you.

bettybing1 · April 2015

To clarify the outside perspective thing - i'm smaller now than I was as a teen. Healthier too. I don't have a perfect younger version of me to idealise like other people. I'm not perfect now but I'm better than I was so perhaps my benchmark is to never be teen-me again.

TavistockToad · April 2015

pre plan and pre log your days so you hit your calorie goal.

You might want to reduce th erat eof loss if you find 1200 cals too hard to stick to.

pinkiezoom · April 2015

Hi there,
sorry you are struggling, but hey you have the right attitude to smash this

At least you are not just being defeated and quitting. Here are some tips that might help.

Be kinder to yourself firstly, you will get to where you want to be, but it takes time.

Weigh everything you eat, its a pain to start with, but trust me this is one of the keys to success.

I think 1200 cals is too low personally, unless you are really short, try 1400 and see if that is more achievable for you, or use the calculator i see someone has linked above, you may be able to eat more than you think

- i tried on 1200 was miserable, felt like a failure, then worked out what i could eat and now i am on 1600, but everyone is different, and i have quite a bit to timber to shift.

Don't deny yourself anything, as it may lead to going on a blow out, but just have a bit in moderation.

maybe take something for breakfast with you, i eat egg muffins, basically on a sunday i beat 6 eggs up and put them into a 12 muffin tray, bake in the oven for 15-20 mins, and they can be bagged up 2 at a time, and even frozen, each morning grab your bag, and by 10am they will be defrosted. They help get your protein and there is no sugar etc in them. Just an idea to help you leave the toast with butter.

Drink plenty of water, watch your salt intake, and get enough sleep.

Feel free to add me if you want, my diary is not always the prettiest, but it is honest and might show you can still achieve your goal, while not feeling deprived,

Good luck, you got this x

MysticalT · April 2015

Thanks both,

I do try to plan ahead where dinner is concerned. We shop on Saturdays with a meal list for the week. I stay away from pre-packed, frozen and chilled meals and cook my own from recipes.

I don't wish to be the teen again really, my 'ideal, healthy' weight is meant to be 8 1/2 - 9 1/2 stone but I'm happy at 10 stone.

Thinking about it, it's probably the snacks in between that ruin it for me. I love veg but not big on fruit other than grapes. I honestly have no idea about low calorie snacks that I will enjoy which will stop me ruining the day.

Maybe it's time to look for low cal snacks.

MysticalT · April 2015

Ok, so I just had a look at the calculator link and it came out at 1423, if I then take off the 20% I'm left with 1138.4. Even if I take off 15% it gives me 1209.55 and it recommends between 15 and 20 %. Looks like I'm going to stick with the 1200 a day then!

TavistockToad · April 2015

MysticalT wrote: »

Ok, so I just had a look at the calculator link and it came out at 1423, if I then take off the 20% I'm left with 1138.4. Even if I take off 15% it gives me 1209.55 and it recommends between 15 and 20 %. Looks like I'm going to stick with the 1200 a day then!

what are your stats? you must be very sedentary for a TDEE of 1423?

Maaike84 · April 2015

MysticalT wrote: »

Ok, so I just had a look at the calculator link and it came out at 1423, if I then take off the 20% I'm left with 1138.4. Even if I take off 15% it gives me 1209.55 and it recommends between 15 and 20 %. Looks like I'm going to stick with the 1200 a day then!

I doubt that that's right - 1423 is very likely not your maintenance level of calories. You are supposed to calculate your maintenance level of calories, your total daily expected expenditure (TDEE) and subtract 20 percent from that. What are your stats?

bettybing1 · April 2015

That page gives a few different numbers, make sure you're looking at the right ones. Also, if you struggle with the calorie amount start to exercise as it'll give you more to play with.

Really struggling

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