Still looking in the mirror and seeing the 'fat' girl?

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livv365
livv365 Posts: 59 Member
in Motivation and Support
Basically I've lost 2 and a half stone and everyone tells me I look fab. I even got told last week I don't need to lose any more weight, (I still have 20lb to go). However when I look in the mirror I still feel fat and disgusting. When do you start to appreciate your new improved body? I can only see a difference in myself when I look at before and after pictures! Still feel like when I look in the mirror I'm still the same! X
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  • peachyfuzzle
    peachyfuzzle Posts: 1,122 Member
    edited April 2015
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    Weight loss isn't like peeling off one big coat.

    Think of it this way... Weight loss is like wearing dozens of really thin jackets. Each pound you lose is like taking one off. You see yourself everyday, so it is difficult to notice even when quite a few have been removed. But, someone on the outside likely sees you only after the removal of a every few which forces them to perceive large chunks rather than incremental amounts.

    Keep doing what you're doing, and I bet by the time you take off that last jacket, you'll fall in live with what is underneath.
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,089 Member
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    It takes a while. I thought it would be instant also, I thought once I got to goal that I would finally see it ! But I didn't. It takes a lot of soul searching to be able to see yourself as "thin " . just keep doing what you are doing and it'll come with time. This is a mental process as well as a physical one
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
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    I still have fat days, and self disappointment moments. . One thing that really helped was taking pics. I could see myself differently in them, than I did in the mirror.

    The next was finding someone I trusted and asking them to help me, and they became my mirror. They told me what they saw when they looked at my pics. (not nudies lol)

    And patience... And time. It takes a while to shift your mind set. . It took me a lot longer to lose my mental fat, than it did to lose my body fat.
  • TheRoseRoss
    TheRoseRoss Posts: 112 Member
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    I suggest taking pictures of yourself, and measuring yourself (arms, waist, thighs etc) once every 4-6 weeks or so. Personal opinion, but I think anything more frequent than that is not enough time to see real results, and ends up leading to discouragement when you feel as though you're not "getting results fast enough."

    You need an objective method of measuring your progress, and simply standing on a scale is not it. The example that I use is:

    Two people each weight 300, with 50% body fat. "Person-1" loses 150. "Person-2" loses 50;
    - Person-1: 150
    - Person-2: 250

    However, Person-1 is still 50% body fat, while Person-2 is now 15% body fat. According to the scale, (1) weighs less than (2) (150 vs 250). But which do you think looks better? The 150 person with 50% body fat, or the 250 person with 15% body fat?

    Simply saying to someone "You weigh 300. Would you prefer to weigh 150, or 250?" isn't the entire picture. We need to consider our body composition. Keep track of your measurements, and that way no matter what the scale says, you'll know that you're arms, legs, waist etc are getting smaller, even if the number on the scale isn't changing to your liking. If those body parts aren't changing, then you have concrete data that whatever you're doing is not working, and you can adjust your nutrition and exercise regimen accordingly.
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
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    MireyGal76 wrote: »
    I still have fat days, and self disappointment moments. . One thing that really helped was taking pics. I could see myself differently in them, than I did in the mirror.

    The next was finding someone I trusted and asking them to help me, and they became my mirror. They told me what they saw when they looked at my pics. (not nudies lol)

    And patience... And time. It takes a while to shift your mind set. . It took me a lot longer to lose my mental fat, than it did to lose my body fat.

    Yep.

    It took me about 11 months to finally stop seeing the 232 pound me - it was just last week. But I still have days/moments where I fall back, and that's okay. My best friend is fabulous about helping me, too.

    And pictures are a HUGE help. I see my avatar (taken two days ago) and think "gosh I wish my waist really looked that small" and duh - of course it does.

    It's tough, but you'll get there - I promise.
  • dopeysmelly
    dopeysmelly Posts: 1,390 Member
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    I still feel like that occasionally (6 months into maintenance), but it's getting easier to accept that I look different.

    I found going to stores and trying on clothes (particularly underwear) helped. That lighting is brutal and there's no escaping confronting that you really do look different.
  • katnroyal87
    katnroyal87 Posts: 8,789 Member
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    I have dropped 118 lbs went from a size 22-6 and still see a fat girl. I still walk around the edge of a room rather than between the chairs. I will hold up a pair of pants and think no way will those fit and they do. It's all in your mind. This has been a three year process and I still don't feel how I look. I feel great but my head still holds on to old habits.
  • stephalexander22
    stephalexander22 Posts: 5 Member
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    It is in your mind. This is a new lifestyle and it takes time to adapt.
    Weight will forever be an issue for me but once your new goals become habits you will begin to appreicate yourself and be proud of what you see in the mirror. Its a journey and it will come!!
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,598 Member
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    Oftentimes I still feel like a fatty. I guess it's just a slow process over time.
  • brynnsmom
    brynnsmom Posts: 945 Member
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    I still have "fat days" and I haven't been technically overweight since I graduated high school twenty years ago. I think for some of us it's just hard to shake those insecurities.
  • sarahrbraun
    sarahrbraun Posts: 2,261 Member
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    I am still technically obese by BMI standards...but I wear a size 10/12. I started at a size 18.

    I still have days where I am wearing my "fat goggles" and I cannot see what everyone else sees. Just last week I was working with my dear friend/trainer and made a comment about my "short arms, fat legs". He stopped right then and corrected me "strong, muscular legs. Not fat legs". We talked about it later, and I thanked him for reminding me that my legs are not fat, they have muscle. He said big and fat has morphed into big, firm and muscular.

    Personally, I think my issue is that my eyes are automatically drawn to my love handles. If I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror across the room, it takes me a few seconds to realize it's really ME. Nothing thrills me more than noticing something as simple as the way my muscles move while I'm doing delt rows :)
  • cosmichvoyager
    cosmichvoyager Posts: 237 Member
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    What about letting go of negative emotions regarding fat? Consciously, willfully work to accept that fat is not inherently bad, ugly or disgusting?

    That doesn't mean don't strive to eat in a healthy, balanced way and exercise or meet your health and fitness goals, but it might be ultimately more productive to move past a skinny is good and fat is bad duality and come to a place of self-love and self-acceptance.
  • cheethnico
    cheethnico Posts: 57 Member
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    I'm nearly 2 stone down and couldn't see a difference I took a starting pic and took one last week and I can see a difference in that but when I look in Mirror I still see my starting picture I've still a way to go with 4 stone guess my brain needs to catch up
  • r_wilson9
    r_wilson9 Posts: 17 Member
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    Omg I feel the same way I'm like ugh even after seeing the scale with the numbers being less I still feel like I weigh a ton!!!! Add me for supprt and motivation!!!! We can do this together!!!
  • astgte
    astgte Posts: 81 Member
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    Ive just asked the same question in my thread in the success stories, at least its not just me who feels that way. Ive almost cracked 200lbs loss and still see in the mirror the fat lad looking back, but in pictures I dont recognise myself. Perhaps its just been the lifelong labelling and name calling that still sticks, but new lifestyle is here to stay and one day im going to see myself im sure.
  • urloved33
    urloved33 Posts: 3,325 Member
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    Yeah isn't it intense when we look back at pictures of ourselves over our lifetime and say..."hey I did not look to heavy...why did I think I did"
  • MelissaRD86
    MelissaRD86 Posts: 73 Member
    edited April 2015
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    I know exactly how you feel. I've lost close to 80lbs and I still don't recognize it. It's been over a year and if someone comments on how far I come, says I don't need to lose more, or even compliments me I have no idea how to react because I don't see what they do. I only really see it when I look at before and after pictures. I'm still waiting for my mirror to catch up too. I'm not sure it ever will th
  • FreedomMK2131
    FreedomMK2131 Posts: 17 Member
    edited April 2015
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    Hi there! I know how much of a struggle it can be to appreciate your new body after weight loss. I have struggled with this since the birth of my children, weighing about 13.5 stone (185-190 lbs) after delivery. Now at a healthy weight of about 8.5 stone (or 120 lbs), I still think I look the same as I did before the weight loss. One trick that has helped me is to have someone take a picture of you in your favorite workout clothes (or a swimsuit), and compare these photos with the ones prior to weight loss. We have a lot of difficulty noticing the changes because we see ourselves every single day and tend to nit-pick our flaws. You look absolutely gorgeous in your pic, and it takes time for our brains to catch up to our bodies!
  • cosmichvoyager
    cosmichvoyager Posts: 237 Member
    edited April 2015
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    urloved33 wrote: »
    Yeah isn't it intense when we look back at pictures of ourselves over our lifetime and say..."hey I did not look to heavy...why did I think I did"

    I had this experience recently looking at a picture of myself from High School. I was cute and my weight was totally fine but my mother was always telling me I was too fat and trying to control my eating--no wonder I packed on 100 pounds since then and refused to honestly look at how I related to food. I'm glad that I can finally stop being ruled by someone else's negativity and move past it (or try to).

  • totaldetermination
    totaldetermination Posts: 1,184 Member
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    I'm the same (though getting better)

    For me its because I can be critical of my self.

    I'll tell you two stories:

    1. We were moving furniture around and so had taken a 3/4 length mirror off the wall and it was resting on the floor. As I walked past it I caught a look and couldn't believe how skinny the person in the mirror was. I could see my entire body but not my face. I changed the angle of the mirror so that I could see all of me, including my face. Suddenly *I* wasn't so skinny at all.

    2. There is a section in the local mall which is constantly changing. One week there might be a stand selling the latest gadget, the next week a local charity selling raffle tickets, then the following week a display of photos of the local area from the last 50 years. One week it was those funny mirrors - you know, the ones that distort the shape of your body. The first one I saw made me long and skinny. Not unnaturally so, but enough that I thought to myself optimistically 'maybe one day...', and smiled. The next mirror was oval shaped but produced the same reflection. The third one was also similar. Suddenly it hit me. Those were not 'funny' mirrors. These were normal mirrors. That's how I look, but I wasn't willing to see it unless I could think it was the mirrors. I had actually looked in the mirror before I left home, but hadn't seen myself the same way

    Its incredible how your opinion of yourself can affect how you interpret what you see when you look in the mirror.

    I am getting better. I think it just takes time for the brain to catch up.

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