a little bit off topic: Concern about a friends "dieting" habits

mermaidrhirhi · April 2015

a friend of mine has recently decided she wants to start losing weight, and how she is doing so is by becoming vegan, and having an extremely high carb/sugar diet (with no exercise aside from walking to school)

Now I know it may not be my business, but I fear for her health. (because she has shared her daily diet info) I know she is eating 10-15 bananas a day, about a donut a day, adding coconut sugar to literally everything she eats, a cup of a dates a day, and water. She is getting virtually no protein whatsoever, aside from her .5 cup of almond milk in the morning (in her water, almond milk, sugar, banana, and maple syrup smoothie)

I have kept my opinions to myself, and will continue to do so, but I fear for her nutrition. I know she is an adult and can make her own decisions, but this seems to go farther than weight loss. I mentioned once that she should try and get some more protein in, but she disagreed and says "this is what my body needs". Who am I to tell her different?

Any advice on what I can do or say, or should I just let it go and let things run the natural course?

Unknown · April 2015

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AlabasterVerve · April 2015

People do all kinds of crazy stuff but as long as she's eating she'll be fine. People live on all kinds of crappy diets for years and years before it catches up to them so baring an actual eating disorder she has plenty of time to come to her senses. She'll be fine.

kristydi · April 2015

You're right its not your business. Unless your fried has some pretty hefty will power, I doubt the vegan thing will last long. It might be possible to casually ask what she eats for protein while she is telling you about her diet. But that's as far as I'd take it. I wouldn't give advice without being asked.

jenncornelsen · April 2015

10-15 bananas a day? thats hard! gotta say wont lose much on a diet like that! she will learn pretty quick. only thing i might mention to her is that much potassium can actually be harmful. though she will be lucky to last a week so maybe wait till then

Lounmoun · April 2015

Unless she asks for your advice or goes on an extremely low calorie diet (below 1200 calories) I would not say anything.

corgicake · April 2015

Introduce her to vegan people and let peer pressure do the rest.

PeachyPlum · April 2015

Oh dear. Did she discover the Banana Girl by any chance?

lishie_rebooted · April 2015

Not all donuts are vegan.

hncary · April 2015

I'd leave it alone. She probably won't stick with it anyway. I'd imagine I would get tired of bananas after a week or so and quit myself, but either way I'm sure she'll be fine.

JPW1990 · April 2015

Since it sounds like she'll be getting around 1500 a day just from bananas, and another ~400 from the dates, it's more likely she'll be gaining instead of losing, once you figure in all the sugar, syrup, donut, etc. Keep asking how much she's lost, she'll figure it out.

ahoy_m8 · April 2015

corgicake wrote: »

Introduce her to vegan people and let peer pressure do the rest.

Good advice. Change is hard, and people experienced eating a particular way can offer insight and support to newbies. If true, you can mention how MFP is supporting you.

Ready2Rock206 · April 2015

hncary wrote: »

I'd leave it alone. She probably won't stick with it anyway. I'd imagine I would get tired of bananas after a week or so and quit myself, but either way I'm sure she'll be fine.

This is pretty much what I was going to say. Doing crazy extreme diets only lasts so long... Give her another couple weeks and she'll probably be back to her old ways.

rainbowbow · April 2015

She's probably doing 30BAD or Rawtil4.

either way, i wouldn't say anything unless she's having problems. if it's not working out for her (which 3000+ calories wont unless you're biking a ton each day) she'll realize on her own.

jennifer_417 · April 2015

Chances are it won't last long. I wouldn't say anything unless it starts making glaringly obvious negative impacts upon her health.

lynn1982 · April 2015

That sounds awful... either she'll get tired of it or she'll start gaining weight. Or both. Either way, she doesn't sound like she wants your advice. Maybe try taking her to a vegan restaurant? Then she'll see the other options that are out there, aside from bananas and dates...

mermaidrhirhi · April 2015

thank you for your advice everyone. I think you are all right and I will keep my opinions to myself, but will introduce her to MFP and maybe take her to a vegan restaurant. Those are great tips!

She has been at it for about 3 weeks now, so I am surprised to say she's lost 10lbs (she is about 70lbs overweight) and doesn't seem to be sick of bananas. I can't expect it to last much longer, but I feel she is using it as a way to conceal an eating disorder she has struggled with for years (hence my deeper concern than a usual friend on a fad diet).

megomerrett · April 2015

Aww, you sound like a good friend. Only suggestions I'd add are: 1. Get her a decent vegan recipe book (ask the vegans for advice) so she can see all the varieties of foods she can be having other than bananas.
2. Invite her on a jog/walk/exercise class or whatever - say you want a friend to go with you. She needs to be moving to make a real difference.

LKArgh · April 2015

If she is a close friend, then I think it is perfectly ok to tell her you are concerned about her health and about how unbalanced her current eating habits are. If she is just someone you know, then it is none of your business, if she is your friend, yes, it is ok to express concerns about her health.

cheezels83 · April 2015

I am not vegan but I have a favourite website that I use a lot in the summer for the salads and for soup inspiration in the winter. I have tried loads of her recipes and they ROCK.

http://vegangela.com/category/vegan-recipes/vegan-salads/

Maybe encourage your friend's new found veganism by helping her find good ideas about what to eat?
If she is really into it, then ok, she will find her way, or if it is just a fad she will tire of it pretty soon!

yesimpson · April 2015

Whether or not it's a good idea to tell her depends on her personality and your relationship. I have friends I know would appreciate hearing my concerns delivered tactfully, and some I know really wouldn't.
Because I have a big mouth I'd probably express my worries once, in a kind of jokey way (because 10-15 bananas is a hell of a lot!) then leave it to her.

Queenmunchy · April 2015

If she's a really close friend, I'd invite her over for a balanced vegan meal and maybe she'd see a few options that she didn't realize were there.

melimomTARDIS · April 2015

let it run its course.

HeySwoleSister · April 2015

mermaidrhirhi wrote: »

a friend of mine has recently decided she wants to start losing weight, and how she is doing so is by becoming vegan, and having an extremely high carb/sugar diet (with no exercise aside from walking to school)

Now I know it may not be my business, but I fear for her health. (because she has shared her daily diet info) I know she is eating 10-15 bananas a day, about a donut a day, adding coconut sugar to literally everything she eats, a cup of a dates a day, and water. She is getting virtually no protein whatsoever, aside from her .5 cup of almond milk in the morning (in her water, almond milk, sugar, banana, and maple syrup smoothie)

I have kept my opinions to myself, and will continue to do so, but I fear for her nutrition. I know she is an adult and can make her own decisions, but this seems to go farther than weight loss. I mentioned once that she should try and get some more protein in, but she disagreed and says "this is what my body needs". Who am I to tell her different?

Any advice on what I can do or say, or should I just let it go and let things run the natural course?

Ugh, that sounds disgusting. I mean, some of those foods are tasty as part of a varied diet, but does she not miss crunchy stuff, salty stuff, etc?

Good ideas mentioned before: Visiting a vegan restaurant, and casually mentioning a good vegan recipe website like the one linked above. Kripalu (the yoga retreat/spa) has a bunch of recipes on their site as well, they are really delicious and I regularly prepare many of the foods there for my omnivorous family. (not all are vegan, though, so read carefully) Just kind of, "hey, I was looking for a good veggie dish last night and I found this great recipe for (something) I thought I'd give you info about the website since it's got a lot of really good vegan recipes and I know you're vegan!" If you voice it with the tone of "I'm supporting your desire to go vegan" instead of "Vegans around the world are cringing at your diet," she's more likely to be receptive instead of defensive.

HeySwoleSister · April 2015

Oh, wow, I just clicked on that Vegangela link above, some beautiful photos of delicious-sounding food. That's a great one to pass on. ~bookmarked~

wizzybeth · April 2015

I have eaten 3 bananas, maybe 4 in one day....but never 10. Wow, that's something.

SconnieCat · April 2015

PeachyPlum wrote: »

Oh dear. Did she discover the Banana Girl by any chance?

I thought the SAME thing.

kissa714 · April 2015

if it were my friend i would tell her what a *kitten* diet it is and if she keeps it up she'll be borderline diabetic and not lose any weight lol. that being said it probably wont last long. all that sugar will catch up with her, hopefully.

girlviernes · April 2015

I think you can share your genuine concern, and express your desire to support her on her journey. However, doing so once is probably enough and any more than that without her expressed desire for that feedback and you're likely to be actively unhelpful to her.