People are sabotaging!
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megz4987
Posts: 1,008 Member
I just need to rant, I think!
So, personally, I would never take diet advice from someone who has NEVER had to diet or someone who is overweight, is miserable b/c of it but has not done anything about it. Last night my mom was was ordering pizza, I said I wasn't having pizza and looked at the menu. Yes, obvious option would be a salad with low cal dressing but most pizza places here serve the white stemmy lettuce that I won't eat. I settled on a grilled chicken sandwich with honey mustard and tomato. I calculated it on MFP as 373cal.
Now, my mom and fiance kept telling me if I'm going to eat that I might as well just eat the pizza. I responded, "This sandwich is healthier than your pizza and being htat I would eat two pieces, it is less calories." They were almost INSISTING I just eat the pizza, completely argueing with me about it.
My fiance constantly tells me, "you don't have to eat that healthy crap ALL the time, you can have taco bell with me once in a while..." I don't particularly like taco bell so it's not like it's teasing me when he eats it but it's just irritating that the doesn't understand that when I cheat on this 'diet', yes, I feel extremely guilty and unfortunately, I rarely have time to exercise to make up for it. Sooooo yea, I do pretty much have to eat "that healthy crap" all the time.
Easter, Mother's Day, etc everyone was like "you're not going to have dessert??? It's a holiday, it's one day!" Yes but if I have dessert i'm going to want more and I'm going to grab a cookie every time I walk pass the table. I know myself and I know my limits.
I'm doing well ignoring everyone but it's just irritating to keep hearing it. For now, I have no room for a screw up. Until I get to my first goal, my pre-preggo weight, I'm stearing clear of all things bad.
So, personally, I would never take diet advice from someone who has NEVER had to diet or someone who is overweight, is miserable b/c of it but has not done anything about it. Last night my mom was was ordering pizza, I said I wasn't having pizza and looked at the menu. Yes, obvious option would be a salad with low cal dressing but most pizza places here serve the white stemmy lettuce that I won't eat. I settled on a grilled chicken sandwich with honey mustard and tomato. I calculated it on MFP as 373cal.
Now, my mom and fiance kept telling me if I'm going to eat that I might as well just eat the pizza. I responded, "This sandwich is healthier than your pizza and being htat I would eat two pieces, it is less calories." They were almost INSISTING I just eat the pizza, completely argueing with me about it.
My fiance constantly tells me, "you don't have to eat that healthy crap ALL the time, you can have taco bell with me once in a while..." I don't particularly like taco bell so it's not like it's teasing me when he eats it but it's just irritating that the doesn't understand that when I cheat on this 'diet', yes, I feel extremely guilty and unfortunately, I rarely have time to exercise to make up for it. Sooooo yea, I do pretty much have to eat "that healthy crap" all the time.
Easter, Mother's Day, etc everyone was like "you're not going to have dessert??? It's a holiday, it's one day!" Yes but if I have dessert i'm going to want more and I'm going to grab a cookie every time I walk pass the table. I know myself and I know my limits.
I'm doing well ignoring everyone but it's just irritating to keep hearing it. For now, I have no room for a screw up. Until I get to my first goal, my pre-preggo weight, I'm stearing clear of all things bad.
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Replies
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Some people that do this don't do it on purpose, but then there are passive-aggressive nitwits that do it intentionally because they are ill-equipped to deal with their own issues. Just keep on keepin' on and don't let anyone sway you into doing anything different, and then when you're all great-looking and fit (and they're NOT), the joke will be on them entirely.0
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Stay strong. You are doing great and they don't get it for some reason.0
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Just remember to stay strong! Like you said, you know yourself and your body, and your family does not. Do what's right for you not what everyone else thinks is right.0
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You are abosultely right - there are saboteurs everywhere. Counter with beautiful/colorful (yet healthy) foods. Show them that you can eat healthy & still enjoy the food. (Probably more than their pizza). That said - you can still order pizza with them - go for the thin crust with lots of veggie (you know they won't want any of yours), and ask for only half the cheese. Best of luck with them. Keep strong.0
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I have people in my life like that too - but strangely, their attempts to sabotage me actually make me want to cheat less! When they say, "oh just have whatever you want, live life" then I think "NO! I don't want to! I want to stick with my plan!" So, it actually works in my favour to motivate me more just to stick it to them for trying to get me off track simply because they are not on track at the moment. It's a shame when people can't be supportive but don't take it personally. It's them, not you
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You just keep up the good work you're doing. I've had people offer me goodies with little evil grins on their faces as though they just want to see if I'll give in but when I don't give in they give praise.0
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I know the feeling! Nearly every single friend and family member I have is the exact same way. It makes this journey that much more difficult when the ones you love don't support your decisions and goals. Just stay true to yourself and your ultimate goal.0
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My friends are like that to me but they fail to get me to eat unhealthy stuff.
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I just need to rant, I think!
So, personally, I would never take diet advice from someone who has NEVER had to diet or someone who is overweight, is miserable b/c of it but has not done anything about it. Last night my mom was was ordering pizza, I said I wasn't having pizza and looked at the menu. Yes, obvious option would be a salad with low cal dressing but most pizza places here serve the white stemmy lettuce that I won't eat. I settled on a grilled chicken sandwich with honey mustard and tomato. I calculated it on MFP as 373cal.
Now, my mom and fiance kept telling me if I'm going to eat that I might as well just eat the pizza. I responded, "This sandwich is healthier than your pizza and being htat I would eat two pieces, it is less calories." They were almost INSISTING I just eat the pizza, completely argueing with me about it.
My fiance constantly tells me, "you don't have to eat that healthy crap ALL the time, you can have taco bell with me once in a while..." I don't particularly like taco bell so it's not like it's teasing me when he eats it but it's just irritating that the doesn't understand that when I cheat on this 'diet', yes, I feel extremely guilty and unfortunately, I rarely have time to exercise to make up for it. Sooooo yea, I do pretty much have to eat "that healthy crap" all the time.
Easter, Mother's Day, etc everyone was like "you're not going to have dessert??? It's a holiday, it's one day!" Yes but if I have dessert i'm going to want more and I'm going to grab a cookie every time I walk pass the table. I know myself and I know my limits.
I'm doing well ignoring everyone but it's just irritating to keep hearing it. For now, I have no room for a screw up. Until I get to my first goal, my pre-preggo weight, I'm stearing clear of all things bad.
Totally understand where you're coming from. I've had people say to. 'Look when you're done with that crap, why not eat some REAL food'!
Totally annoying, just ignore them0 -
My mother in law is like that... she tells me all the time what I need to eat and how much! This is coming from someone who is my heights and out weights me by over a hundred pounds... she makes comments to me like " glad you just enjoy making other people feel bad" but I really do not care. I want to run around with my kids for a long time and I dont think the person to take diet advice from someone who sees nothing wrong with eating a family size bag of jelly beans in one sitting! I am in this for me and no one else. and i figure that people tend to be more then a little upset when they see someone accomplishing something that they cant! Keep your chin up and dont let it bother you! This is your body nobody else has to live in it!0
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Absolutely! It is frustrating when people do this! That being said, I'm to the point now where, an occasional dessert does not result in self sabatoge, but I know where you've been. In the beginning it's just easier to stick with the stuff that's really good for your body to help it get used to being given the "right stuff". Then, when you eventually feel comfortable "having just one", it will be just that: ONLY ONE. Because you're body will tell you to stop before you end up overdoing it. I have been pleasantly surprised how much my body lets me know it doesn't like too much 'crap' when I do splurge. Keep up the good work! You are doing great!0
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Oh I can totally relate!!!!! My husband was going to the grocery store the other day and was naming off all the things he was in need of (bologna, hot dogs, hamburger meat, little debbie's, etc) I said I can't eat that kind of stuff (well except for maybe the hamburger if I broil it and still contains alot of fat) I told him if he would just start eating healthy with me we wouldn't have to buy 2 sets of groceries! It's so frustrating and expensive. He will eat most of what I eat but like the bad stuff too (well I do too, but I am trying not to eat it)
He did come back without the little debbie's :happy: and had us some apples and watermelon
I guess it just takes time to get everyone on track with your way of thinking...
Good luck and stay true to you!!!! :flowerforyou:0 -
I totally know where you are coming from. I live and work with "FOODIES." At work they have a cook on staff and I am totally tempted to "taste" what is being served for the day. At home my fiance constantly says things like "you dont need to diet", "your not fat." He totally doesnt understand that I NEED TO LOOSE THE WEIGHT!!! It's or me and I would appreciate more support. That is why I log on this site daily. I have friends that give me the support that I need. People who are goingthrough what I am going through. I ahve never been this size in my life (hover, I have never been skinny either). Just be strong. Add me as a friend and we can go through this together!!! I truly know where you are comning from!!!!!0
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AMEN SISTER!!!!!0
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Hang in there eventually you will be the winner when you are slim and trim and they'll be asking you how you did it!0
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Sometimes it is like they are the dopeman - - - "here honey try this" - - then you get hooked all over again
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Oh I can totally relate!!!!! My husband was going to the grocery store the other day and was naming off all the things he was in need of (bologna, hot dogs, hamburger meat, little debbie's, etc) I said I can't eat that kind of stuff (well except for maybe the hamburger if I broil it and still contains alot of fat) I told him if he would just start eating healthy with me we wouldn't have to buy 2 sets of groceries! It's so frustrating and expensive. He will eat most of what I eat but like the bad stuff too (well I do too, but I am trying not to eat it)
He did come back without the little debbie's :happy: and had us some apples and watermelon
I guess it just takes time to get everyone on track with your way of thinking...
Good luck and stay true to you!!!! :flowerforyou:
The apples and watermelon is a good change. I think it's great that you pointed it out. I find the less I talk about it, the less sabatoge I get. But that's hard when you're just trying to find something else on the menu.
Have you all tried saying, "Please, if you're not going to support me in this, would you please just keep your comments to yourself? I will not talk about what I am trying to do, if you promise not to criticize." ???? Or maybe you can all point out, when they ask, that you FEEL better when you don't have all the preservatives and extra fat and sugar. It's hard because while we are often feeling sabotaged, they are feeling criticized because we are basicly criticizing them for eating unhealthy, even if we don't come right out and criticize them. They know we are labelling their food. I don't know, but I think it's great to be able to vent here!!!!!!!!!!!0 -
Oh I can totally relate!!!!! My husband was going to the grocery store the other day and was naming off all the things he was in need of (bologna, hot dogs, hamburger meat, little debbie's, etc) I said I can't eat that kind of stuff (well except for maybe the hamburger if I broil it and still contains alot of fat) I told him if he would just start eating healthy with me we wouldn't have to buy 2 sets of groceries! It's so frustrating and expensive. He will eat most of what I eat but like the bad stuff too (well I do too, but I am trying not to eat it)
He did come back without the little debbie's :happy: and had us some apples and watermelon
I guess it just takes time to get everyone on track with your way of thinking...
Good luck and stay true to you!!!! :flowerforyou:
The apples and watermelon is a good change. I think it's great that you pointed it out. I find the less I talk about it, the less sabatoge I get. But that's hard when you're just trying to find something else on the menu.
Have you all tried saying, "Please, if you're not going to support me in this, would you please just keep your comments to yourself? I will not talk about what I am trying to do, if you promise not to criticize." ???? Or maybe you can all point out, when they ask, that you FEEL better when you don't have all the preservatives and extra fat and sugar. It's hard because while we are often feeling sabotaged, they are feeling criticized because we are basicly criticizing them for eating unhealthy, even if we don't come right out and criticize them. They know we are labelling their food. I don't know, but I think it's great to be able to vent here!!!!!!!!!!!0 -
Please excuse me if I am being a total guy giving advice and you don't want it...
Have you considered coming right out and saying something like, "When you encourage me to eat things that aren't a part of my new healthy lifestyle it really hurts me? I'm having a hard enough time doing what's healthy for me without the continual comments that I can eat other things. Please, even if we disagree, support me in plan"? I would think that even if your mom won't listen, that your fiancee certainly should. I know that if I were the guy and my wife said something like that it'd make me do a lot of thinking about what I'd been saying. And I think prepping the conversation with something like, "Honey, there's something very important I'd like to talk to you about..." will immediately help him understand that this is very serious to you.
Anyway, just my take.
Congratulations to you on ignoring the temptations.0 -
I feel people don’t understand when someone changes to healthy eating habits, they feel you may be being fanatical or obsessive about it if you never cheat or stay on goal 98 % of the time...I eat healthy for my health, not for my weight ( I have strong family history of heart disease) So think of it that way- if you were doing it for other health reasons, I know losing weight and getting to a healthy weight is for your health but let’s say you had heart issues, would they really ask you to cheat or push that pizza in your direction? I think sometimes people see eating healthier for weight loss as more for vanity reasons than health reasons...just remind them that it is more than a weight loss program and that you aim to get your all over health in order---and always think of it that way, you are not just counting calories to lose weight, you are also making healthier choices for an all around healthier you- for now and for your future...stay strong!0
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