Why Is Losing Weight Harder The 2nd,3rd,4th Time Around ???
Danielle721007
Posts: 41 Member
Hello Everyone,
So ... am I the only one having a hard time losing weight this time around. Let me give some back story ... about 5 years ago I weighed 220 at 5'2 (*gasp) and I changed my lifestyle around not eating fast food, no soda or added sugar and worked out 3x a week mix of Cardio and Weights and I dropped to 180 in about 6 months ... it was easy then. I wasn't super harsh on myself and I had fun doing it. I was so proud of my accomplishment at the time but my ex (boyfriend at the time) put me down about how I was still fat... which yes, I still had a ways do go but I thought I was doing really well. Long story short I gained again up to 230 at joined Herbalife (Bigger Mistake!) and dropped to 210 and my ex (boyfriend at the time) just kept bringing me down about my weight and of course I gained more weight. So I left him (FINALLY!) but here I am 3 years later and while I have an amazing supportive boyfriend now, I weigh 260 (*deadly gasp) and again I'm 5'2. I have stopped eating fast food, sticking to my calorie deficit on MFP and strength training again with some cardio and I can't seem to even lose a pound.
I'm so lost and discouraged and I know I need to keep fighting for my health back but I just don't know what to do at this point ?? Should I do more cardio and less weights ... or restrict my calories even more ? Please give me helpful suggestions ... I'd really appreciate it.
Thanks!
Danielle
So ... am I the only one having a hard time losing weight this time around. Let me give some back story ... about 5 years ago I weighed 220 at 5'2 (*gasp) and I changed my lifestyle around not eating fast food, no soda or added sugar and worked out 3x a week mix of Cardio and Weights and I dropped to 180 in about 6 months ... it was easy then. I wasn't super harsh on myself and I had fun doing it. I was so proud of my accomplishment at the time but my ex (boyfriend at the time) put me down about how I was still fat... which yes, I still had a ways do go but I thought I was doing really well. Long story short I gained again up to 230 at joined Herbalife (Bigger Mistake!) and dropped to 210 and my ex (boyfriend at the time) just kept bringing me down about my weight and of course I gained more weight. So I left him (FINALLY!) but here I am 3 years later and while I have an amazing supportive boyfriend now, I weigh 260 (*deadly gasp) and again I'm 5'2. I have stopped eating fast food, sticking to my calorie deficit on MFP and strength training again with some cardio and I can't seem to even lose a pound.
I'm so lost and discouraged and I know I need to keep fighting for my health back but I just don't know what to do at this point ?? Should I do more cardio and less weights ... or restrict my calories even more ? Please give me helpful suggestions ... I'd really appreciate it.
Thanks!
Danielle
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Replies
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Well, I don't know how much help I can be.
Nearly three years ago, I weighed myself at 237 (@ 5'-7") and made a decision to lose weight. It did seem easy then; over three months I went down to 210, and then stopped worrying about it, although I was still losing a little at a time since I kept active by walking. My lowest weight was last spring at 195.
Then, I really stopped paying attention and got lazy again. Went back to playing video games and reading instead of walking. My weight went back up to 220 by this last Christmas, and now I'm at it again.
This time, I decided I can't do this just to lose weight, although that's important. I'm not worrying about daily fluctuations, or super strict calorie goals. I decided to work on fitness goals and will eventually work on hitting macros to enhance my fitness goals.
I started back up with walking and cardio kickboxing for the first month, and now I'm starting to run and strength train (just body weight things for now.) I made myself a promise that I will complete a half marathon (barring injury or pregnancy!) next year before I turn 35 in April. All of my three siblings are runners (my sister is a marathon runner), so I know I can do it.
I'm already doing a 4mi+ trail run this Saturday and a 5k next week. Sure, I'm still at a run/walk fitness level, but I'm at a point now that I can complete the distances and will work up to speed and completing these distances by running exclusively as I train. I have a 10k that I'd like to enter in July, and hope to be up to that challenge. While I haven't worried about losing weight, I am down to ~203lbs as of this morning after 3+months of going at it. I didn't lose as much as I did in my initial drop (almost 30lbs in three months the first time!) I do fluctuate a lot day to day, but I don't care too much any more. My calves and arms are looking better now than they did at 195 a year ago!
I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you're getting frustrated focusing exclusively on losing weight, it may help to find another goal. Running may not be your thing (it may not be mine, I just find it a good way to measure my progress!) but you could try progressive weight lifting, or walking just a little bit more each day, or swimming just that little bit faster. Set fitness or endurance or even food-based goals for yourself, and you may find it more rewarding than just weight loss.
Good luck, you can do it!
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I think it can be harder because you have that history bouncing around in your brain telling you that you may have just lost 10 pounds but it is actually not a loss because it is weight that you have lost and gained before. At least, for me that's one reason why it was hard at first. I had to make a mental effort to shove that history into a little mental box, lock it up, and stuff it away into the dusty recesses of my brain. Just shove it all away and act like it is a brand new beginning, in other words.
How many calories per day are you currently eating? What is your MFP goal? Are you eating back any exercise calories?0 -
Well, I don't know how much help I can be.
Nearly three years ago, I weighed myself at 237 (@ 5'-7") and made a decision to lose weight. It did seem easy then; over three months I went down to 210, and then stopped worrying about it, although I was still losing a little at a time since I kept active by walking. My lowest weight was last spring at 195.
Then, I really stopped paying attention and got lazy again. Went back to playing video games and reading instead of walking. My weight went back up to 220 by this last Christmas, and now I'm at it again.
This time, I decided I can't do this just to lose weight, although that's important. I'm not worrying about daily fluctuations, or super strict calorie goals. I decided to work on fitness goals and will eventually work on hitting macros to enhance my fitness goals.
I started back up with walking and cardio kickboxing for the first month, and now I'm starting to run and strength train (just body weight things for now.) I made myself a promise that I will complete a half marathon (barring injury or pregnancy!) next year before I turn 35 in April. All of my three siblings are runners (my sister is a marathon runner), so I know I can do it.
I'm already doing a 4mi+ trail run this Saturday and a 5k next week. Sure, I'm still at a run/walk fitness level, but I'm at a point now that I can complete the distances and will work up to speed and completing these distances by running exclusively as I train. I have a 10k that I'd like to enter in July, and hope to be up to that challenge. While I haven't worried about losing weight, I am down to ~203lbs as of this morning after 3+months of going at it. I didn't lose as much as I did in my initial drop (almost 30lbs in three months the first time!) I do fluctuate a lot day to day, but I don't care too much any more. My calves and arms are looking better now than they did at 195 a year ago!
I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you're getting frustrated focusing exclusively on losing weight, it may help to find another goal. Running may not be your thing (it may not be mine, I just find it a good way to measure my progress!) but you could try progressive weight lifting, or walking just a little bit more each day, or swimming just that little bit faster. Set fitness or endurance or even food-based goals for yourself, and you may find it more rewarding than just weight loss.
Good luck, you can do it!
Wow, thank you so much. That really was a great perspective on how changing my mind set toward different goals can help. I just realized that I have been putting too much pressure on myself with obsessing over the weight loss. Thank you for sharing your story, I really appreciate it ! And great job to you and your accomplishments, that's really amazing !!
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I think it can be harder because you have that history bouncing around in your brain telling you that you may have just lost 10 pounds but it is actually not a loss because it is weight that you have lost and gained before. At least, for me that's one reason why it was hard at first. I had to make a mental effort to shove that history into a little mental box, lock it up, and stuff it away into the dusty recesses of my brain. Just shove it all away and act like it is a brand new beginning, in other words.
How many calories per day are you currently eating? What is your MFP goal? Are you eating back any exercise calories?
Yes, that is precisely what I do "you may have just lost 10 pounds but it is actually not a loss because it is weight that you have lost and gained before." To me it feels like none of it is weight loss and it really takes a mental strain on me. Right now I'm eating 1350 Calories and I don't eat back the calories I burn. I would like to lose 2 pounds per week but at this point even 1 steady pound would be nice ! Ultimately I would settle with losing 100 pounds to be at 160. But it's not just the weight, I concentrate on my body fat percentage and sometimes it's discouraging because that's obviously harder than losing the weight.0 -
... your brain telling you that you may have just lost 10 pounds but it is actually not a loss because it is weight that you have lost and gained before.
Thanks for posting this, I didn't realize that I have been doing this too. My brain has been telling myself that nothing really counts until I hit the point I was at before... but regardless of my past failures, I need my brain to understand this is a fresh start, I just have some leftover muscle mass from before.
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I wrote a blog entry about being a "shortie" and trying to lose weight:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/unlikelyathlete/view/short-girls-and-total-daily-weekly-calorie-deficits-687902
I'd say you might not want to eat back too many of your exercise calories to start with, if you're starting at 1300 for your daily intake.
Maybe you're just feeling kind of bummed that you have to go through this process again. I think we'd all like to get to a point in which we didn't need to log our food or exercise. Some people get there. Maybe one day I will, too, but after 20 years of trying to just eat intuitively, I have to go back to logging if I don't want to gain weight back.
Good luck! Maybe this time you'll find your rhythm and get where you want to be.
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I went from 220lbs to 169 and back up to 220 with my recent divorce so I know how you feel. I think in the beginning if you care more about that number on the scale and less about inches then you should focus more on high cardio. Once you start dropping in body fat and increasing your lungs performance you can add in weight lifting to help you tone and define while you continue to loose. This is what I am doing, because it helps in the beginning as i tend to hyper focus on the scale numbers0
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... your brain telling you that you may have just lost 10 pounds but it is actually not a loss because it is weight that you have lost and gained before.
Thanks for posting this, I didn't realize that I have been doing this too. My brain has been telling myself that nothing really counts until I hit the point I was at before... but regardless of my past failures, I need my brain to understand this is a fresh start, I just have some leftover muscle mass from before.... your brain telling you that you may have just lost 10 pounds but it is actually not a loss because it is weight that you have lost and gained before.
Thanks for posting this, I didn't realize that I have been doing this too. My brain has been telling myself that nothing really counts until I hit the point I was at before... but regardless of my past failures, I need my brain to understand this is a fresh start, I just have some leftover muscle mass from before.
It's a rough road but with this realization we can get stronger mentally and the physical will follow 0 -
unlikelyathlete wrote: »I wrote a blog entry about being a "shortie" and trying to lose weight:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/unlikelyathlete/view/short-girls-and-total-daily-weekly-calorie-deficits-687902
I'd say you might not want to eat back too many of your exercise calories to start with, if you're starting at 1300 for your daily intake.
Maybe you're just feeling kind of bummed that you have to go through this process again. I think we'd all like to get to a point in which we didn't need to log our food or exercise. Some people get there. Maybe one day I will, too, but after 20 years of trying to just eat intuitively, I have to go back to logging if I don't want to gain weight back.
Good luck! Maybe this time you'll find your rhythm and get where you want to be.
This seems to be true, I think I need to be more disciplined with my logging of food and exercise because I can't honestly say I stick to it 100%. Thank you and best of luck in your journey as well ! 0 -
soldiergrl_101 wrote: »I went from 220lbs to 169 and back up to 220 with my recent divorce so I know how you feel. I think in the beginning if you care more about that number on the scale and less about inches then you should focus more on high cardio. Once you start dropping in body fat and increasing your lungs performance you can add in weight lifting to help you tone and define while you continue to loose. This is what I am doing, because it helps in the beginning as i tend to hyper focus on the scale numbers
Ah ok, that makes sense! Because I do feel tired now vs. when I did a lot more cardio back then. My lungs were stronger and I felt better! I will give the cardio more attention than just weights. Thank you for that and you will get there You're doing a great job as is ! 0 -
Danielle721007 wrote: »I think it can be harder because you have that history bouncing around in your brain telling you that you may have just lost 10 pounds but it is actually not a loss because it is weight that you have lost and gained before. At least, for me that's one reason why it was hard at first. I had to make a mental effort to shove that history into a little mental box, lock it up, and stuff it away into the dusty recesses of my brain. Just shove it all away and act like it is a brand new beginning, in other words.
How many calories per day are you currently eating? What is your MFP goal? Are you eating back any exercise calories?
Yes, that is precisely what I do "you may have just lost 10 pounds but it is actually not a loss because it is weight that you have lost and gained before." To me it feels like none of it is weight loss and it really takes a mental strain on me. Right now I'm eating 1350 Calories and I don't eat back the calories I burn. I would like to lose 2 pounds per week but at this point even 1 steady pound would be nice ! Ultimately I would settle with losing 100 pounds to be at 160. But it's not just the weight, I concentrate on my body fat percentage and sometimes it's discouraging because that's obviously harder than losing the weight.
How long have you been eating the 1350 calories, are you losing weight, and how much are you losing?
I am all about eating as much as I can while still losing weight so when I was using the MFP number as my goal, I ate back at least 50% of my exercise calories and often all of them. My problem with the "I'll skip eating exercise calories so that I lose more" idea is that I think that many people end up under-fueled and then stop doing as much non-exercise activity. That's when you start seeing people say "but I'm working out an hour a day 5 days a week and I still can't lose weight." Well, it's often because you may be doing that but you're too tired to keep up with all the other various little activities that burn calories during your day. It's something that creeps up and you're often not aware of it.
My suggestion would be to eat at least 50% of your exercise calories and do a mix of cardio and strength training. You might start out with a 50/50 mix and then eventually lean more one way or the other. Either way is fine. Cardio will help your heart and lung health. Strength will make you stronger and can help your shape. Both will burn calories and make you healthier in general.0 -
Danielle721007 wrote: »I think it can be harder because you have that history bouncing around in your brain telling you that you may have just lost 10 pounds but it is actually not a loss because it is weight that you have lost and gained before. At least, for me that's one reason why it was hard at first. I had to make a mental effort to shove that history into a little mental box, lock it up, and stuff it away into the dusty recesses of my brain. Just shove it all away and act like it is a brand new beginning, in other words.
How many calories per day are you currently eating? What is your MFP goal? Are you eating back any exercise calories?
Yes, that is precisely what I do "you may have just lost 10 pounds but it is actually not a loss because it is weight that you have lost and gained before." To me it feels like none of it is weight loss and it really takes a mental strain on me. Right now I'm eating 1350 Calories and I don't eat back the calories I burn. I would like to lose 2 pounds per week but at this point even 1 steady pound would be nice ! Ultimately I would settle with losing 100 pounds to be at 160. But it's not just the weight, I concentrate on my body fat percentage and sometimes it's discouraging because that's obviously harder than losing the weight.
How long have you been eating the 1350 calories, are you losing weight, and how much are you losing?
I am all about eating as much as I can while still losing weight so when I was using the MFP number as my goal, I ate back at least 50% of my exercise calories and often all of them. My problem with the "I'll skip eating exercise calories so that I lose more" idea is that I think that many people end up under-fueled and then stop doing as much non-exercise activity. That's when you start seeing people say "but I'm working out an hour a day 5 days a week and I still can't lose weight." Well, it's often because you may be doing that but you're too tired to keep up with all the other various little activities that burn calories during your day. It's something that creeps up and you're often not aware of it.
My suggestion would be to eat at least 50% of your exercise calories and do a mix of cardio and strength training. You might start out with a 50/50 mix and then eventually lean more one way or the other. Either way is fine. Cardio will help your heart and lung health. Strength will make you stronger and can help your shape. Both will burn calories and make you healthier in general.
Ok - that makes sense because I get tired when I don't eat back those calories pretty often. It seems I'm not fueling my body enough. So I will give that a try and see the difference that makes me feel. Thank you for that advice, I think that will be very helpful ! 0 -
A wise old scholar once told me:A lot of people probably end up with less and less lean mass every cycle, because they're doing the inverse of bodybuilding by gaining and losing while not doing resistance training.
Something to consider.0 -
Hold the phone my dear holllld the phone! Sorry if this is a late response or my response has been reiterated, I am new to My Fitness Pal and I just want to say (this might be harsh) Dont Make Excuses!! My exboyfriend is a huge excuse! Its called SELF esteem not reliant on someone else.
Just decide. Do more cardio than weight lifting. But still do some weight lifting. Get onto an indoor trainer (stationary bike) but not one with all the electronic gizmos thats for lazy people.
You wanna put in work? Get on one of those KEISER indoor trainers (google it) pop in your music and jusssssst GO.
PS - you are beautiful no matter what. So Dont Stop your journey because of someone else! As you can see we are behind you
Courage is being scared and still pushing forward hun!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo0 -
This is likely more psychological than physiological. I believe this is hitting you on two levels:
1) You haven’t really committed to changing your lifestyle. Instead of a commitment, you’re obsessing on it, which is causing stress and raising your cortisol. If you will just commit to having a new lifestyle (eating good quality food, smaller portions, balance on macros), you’ll get healthier and over time, the fat will come off, albeit, slowly.
2) You gained much of weight and/or regained the weight based on emotion (at least that is how you explained it). You have a supportive boyfriend now, but have you addressed the emotional issues that got you here? Are you eating based on emotion?
If this resonates with you, I would do the following:
1) Commit to a healthy lifestyle (not a weight goal). And by commitment, I mean a full commitment (deeper and stronger than any marriage or relationship you have with someone else, this is a commitment to yourself).
2) Educate yourself on health and fitness. Understanding how certain foods and activities affect you will give you the tools to make yourself healthier.
3) Plan and prepare for each day to ensure you can keep your commitment. Plan your meals for the day (you’ll recognize emotional eating when you’re going off plan). Plan times for activities and find ways to make them a part of your daily life (workout partners, trainer, sports).
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I found this time around easier but in part, I think, because I have more fitness goals to focus on than just watching the scale. I did weight watchers 10 years ago but the lowest I reached was 179 and later quit as couldn't afford the meetings. Now, I have lost almost 50 since september by mostly lifting weights and some cardio. Watching the calories and staying within the goal range obviously had the biggest part in that but I enjoy weight lifting and reaching for my fitness goals. I hope to get my deadlift to 225 some time this summer and will be jogging in 2 different 5k fun runs.
You can do this, the other times were there, but now is the time to focus on and the things you want to do along with it. :-) And there are others around to cheer too. Maybe one day we can even post in the success forums.0 -
Think of yourself as a chemistry experiment. Pretend you are being watched constantly by the eye in the sky, such as a camera from Google Earth.. Don't picture yourself as a woman that needs to lose weight, picture yourself as a tiny molecule that is buzzing around on planet Earth. Think of how ridiculous it is to see that molecule from a far away place with the problem you are having. Become a molecule that would make you feel and look like a normal every day molecule. I know this sounds insane, but it will actually help. No excuses, do what you know internally needs to be done. Weight lifting is far better for long term weight loss because the muscle burns more calories. Just bending an arm with muscle burns more calories than bending an arm without muscle. Focus on building muscle, then focus on burning fat by doing cardio. Don't just spin your wheels and throw the target heart rate garbage in the can where it belongs. Push yourself ALWAYS! good luck, you can absolutely do it. Do it now while you are still healthy enough to be able to because sooner than later it will be too late.0
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Check out layne norton metabolic damage video on you tube. Explains exactly what you are going through. A reverse diet will be a good option for you.0
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Danielle721007 wrote: »Hello Everyone,
So ... am I the only one having a hard time losing weight this time around. Let me give some back story ... about 5 years ago I weighed 220 at 5'2 (*gasp) and I changed my lifestyle around not eating fast food, no soda or added sugar and worked out 3x a week mix of Cardio and Weights and I dropped to 180 in about 6 months ... it was easy then. I wasn't super harsh on myself and I had fun doing it. I was so proud of my accomplishment at the time but my ex (boyfriend at the time) put me down about how I was still fat... which yes, I still had a ways do go but I thought I was doing really well. Long story short I gained again up to 230 at joined Herbalife (Bigger Mistake!) and dropped to 210 and my ex (boyfriend at the time) just kept bringing me down about my weight and of course I gained more weight. So I left him (FINALLY!) but here I am 3 years later and while I have an amazing supportive boyfriend now, I weigh 260 (*deadly gasp) and again I'm 5'2. I have stopped eating fast food, sticking to my calorie deficit on MFP and strength training again with some cardio and I can't seem to even lose a pound.
I'm so lost and discouraged and I know I need to keep fighting for my health back but I just don't know what to do at this point ?? Should I do more cardio and less weights ... or restrict my calories even more ? Please give me helpful suggestions ... I'd really appreciate it.
CICO (calories in vs. calories out)!!!
Somebody needs to toss in some tough love, so read this primer: http://www.acaloriecounter.com/blog/why-am-i-not-losing-weight/
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