Lack of mental energy

snowy_sk
snowy_sk Posts: 117 Member
edited November 16 in Motivation and Support
Hi all, I've been struggling for quite a while now to get back on the weight loss wagon. I start off feeling so determined and within a couple of days I'm back to where I started. I know how to diet, I know how to exercise and yet I still struggle. Then today I realised..... I just don't have the energy to do this. I am a full time mum and struggling a little bit with the loss of who I am as a person and over the last year have become more and more lost. I realised today that although I'm unhappy feeling like this, it requires no energy to stay as I am, but a lot of mental energy to change. And there is the problem..... How do I get my mental energy and determination back? Any help so very appreciated x

Replies

  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
    edited April 2015
    The stay as you are just sounds like fear, lack of confidence and mentally run down.
    Its not uncommon for people to just leap in without learning how to lose weight, without thinking of what it entails or correctly finding the motivation that will drive them and then they flounder.

    You need to tailor your approach so it's realistic, attainable and sustainable . That might mean not being so aggressive and losing at a slow rate, managing your expectations on rate of loss by making it more liveable and generally making peace with yourself. A plan you are happy with.

    Weight loss is straightforward. Perhaps you have lost confidence, but if you do the basics correcctly you will lose weight over time. The trick is to do it as efficiently as possible without the stress and frustration you see many new poster complaining of. Thats why its suggested its a lifestyle change that you can live with. That will mean dealing with things like limited time, needing to look after your child(ren), job etc, so by the end of the day theres sill enough left for you and your journey. Adjust to eating what your body needs or slighlt less if you want to lose.

    Once you get success, then it will restore confidence and encourage you to do more and keep it going. Its not uncommon for people to feel overwhelemed when the whole task looks big, they are scared because they yo yo, they fear misery and the unknown or draw back at the work. Rethink your plan and think it through completely
    How do I get my mental energy and determination back?

    Stop stressing and relax.
    Spend some time rethinking about what and how you are going to do things so you cna answer all the questions you have for yourself.
    Make a plan thats sustainable and liveable. How will you find time, how will you do cooking, will you cope with exercise, how do you keep the family running etc Knowing how to lose weight is one thing but its pointless unless it works for you.
    Break it down into smaller parts i.e 1 week, 2 weeks 1 month so that you can try it out.
    Stay focused so you can monitor how you are coping and you can adapt as you go along.

    Instead of the journey overwhelming you, it can be a powerful force in helping to reaffirm and support who you are. Time to do something for you.

    Ps dont understimate the role of good nutrition and giving yourself some tlc and support will have on how you feel about things.
  • TheRoseRoss
    TheRoseRoss Posts: 112 Member
    We each have different obligations that shape what we're able to do. My life allows me to go to the gym, though I have to get up at 3am in order to do it. There were days that I heard the alarm but chose to stay in bed. I would go about my day, see myself in the mirror and ask "was staying in bed worth the 'extra' sleep that you got? Or would you have preferred to go to the gym and be just a little bit closer to a nice chest, arms, back, abs, shoulders, and legs?" I always felt like crap thinking "the sleep wasn't worth it. I should have gone to the gym." So now I do my best to eliminate the possibility of excuses. I do all that I can the day before, so that the morning of, I don't have the excuse of:

    "I can't go to the gym. Doing so would take too much time, and I need to rest so that I can get up to iron my clothes for work"

    Or

    "I can't go to the gym because I 'forgot' to pack my gym bag last night, and by the time I get it packed this morning, I'd have wasted so much time that it won't be worth making the trip."

    The first step for me is getting to bed on time the night before. That means sacrificing watching the latest episode of whatever, or playing a game on my phone instead of falling asleep. We have to give things up in one place in order to gain something in another. Perhaps think of it like an equation:

    "I'm doing this to get that. If I don't do this, I won't attain that. How badly do I want that?"

    That's something I ask people from time to time when they ask me "how do you keep motivated?" I ask "what are you willing to do to get it?" Co-workers ask:

    "What do you do? How do you do it?"

    I answer:

    "I have to get up at 3am because I have a wife, child, and a fulltime job. Fortunately my gym is 24 hours, but I don't have the time or the energy to go after work, so I have to go in the morning while everyone else is asleep."

    I'm usually met with some form of chuckle/eye-roll and an:

    "Geez! I couldn't do that."

    That's what it takes. Something must be given up. For me, I need to be in bed by 9pm, and control what I eat. If I want to pay my bills, I need to go to work. No, I don't WANT to go to work. I have no "motivation" to go to work, but I know what will happen if I don't go to work, and I can't allow that. In order to get to work, I have to do this, this, this, and this. Perhaps try to think of it that way: In order to achieve my goal, I have to do this, this, this, and this. If I don't, my "fitness bills" are not going to get paid, and I can't allow that.
  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
    999tigger wrote: »
    You need to tailor your approach so it's realistic, attainable and sustainable . That might mean not being so aggressive and losing at a slow rate, managing your expectations on rate of loss by making it more liveable and generally making peace with yourself. A plan you are happy with.

    This paragraph here resonates.
    Perhaps you were using too aggressive of a calorie goal or being obsessive or using the latest 'fad diet'... or whatever. These kinds of things make us fail. You don't need to know how to diet. You're not on a diet, per se. All you are doing is eating a bit less than usual and perhaps moving a bit more. You don't have to go all balls to the wall. You don't have to cut out foods. Start with something simple, a small deficit. Set your calorie goal settings to lose .5-1 lbs/week. Go for a walk instead of trying to do 45 minutes of some insanely hard workout video. It really doesn't take much to set yourself on the right path.
  • Lizzy622
    Lizzy622 Posts: 3,705 Member
    You are in the horrible downward spiral that brought me to more than 265 pounds. You have a right to be happy. It is not easy but you need to struggle and get out of the comfort zone. There is a notes spot in the food log. Try putting in your feelings or your mental strength. You may find a pattern. I find I have more mental strength and am generally happier on days I can work out. I find days that I indulge too much (more than one sugary thing), I get sluggish and mentally not too good a day.
  • kaliyuga2012
    kaliyuga2012 Posts: 2 Member
    Try not to feel guilty about your lack of motivation when it dwindles. Guilt and shame are paralytic. Just regroup yourself at each new day, each new meal, each opportunity to exercise and do the next right thing for yourself. It sounds cliche but take the journey one step at a time. I get these same feelings when I start thinking about how much I have left to lose instead of congratulating myself for what I've already lost, or beating myself up for slipping up yesterday when today could be a blank slate if I'd just let it. Best wishes to you and your progress!
  • snowy_sk
    snowy_sk Posts: 117 Member
    Thank you all so very much for your replies! Truly grateful that you have all taken the time to reply. All makes so much sense and I will try and reassess how I do this and hopefully I will get there xx
  • Laura732
    Laura732 Posts: 244 Member
    Learn to let go! It's ok to let the hubby take care of the kiddos so you can get some 'me' time. So what if the house will get messed up if you leave them alone? It gets messed up again anyway when you're there!
  • DirrtyH
    DirrtyH Posts: 664 Member
    You're totally right about mental energy. It takes a lot up front. Try just making small changes at a time. You don't have to completely overhaul everything right at once. Focus on one thing for a week or so, and then add something else. Maybe at first just add more veggies. Then the next week cut down on soda, etc. This go around I waited almost a full month before I started incorporating exercise.
  • urloved33
    urloved33 Posts: 3,323 Member
    Do small things...small seemingly unevently and effortless changes turn into big change.
  • teresanesselrode2015
    teresanesselrode2015 Posts: 28 Member
    snowy_sk wrote: »
    Thank you all so very much for your replies! Truly grateful that you have all taken the time to reply. All makes so much sense and I will try and reassess how I do this and hopefully I will get there xx

    I felt the same way...no motivation, tired, depressed, etc. I wanted to be skinny and have muscle tone but wld start with enthusiasm and after a week or two i wld get bored or tired and quit. I went to the dr cuz i thought this isn't normal and after some blood tests well i found out i was severely vitamin d deficient. Now i take the vitamin and i am actually starting to feel better so i get up before work and walk and try again after work. My kids are older so it's probably easier for me but you need to make time for yourself so you will be happier for your kids. Good luck!
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