My family does not support me

heartofmary
heartofmary Posts: 1 Member
edited November 16 in Motivation and Support
I do dot drive. My husband does all the shopping. When I ask him to buy things like whole grain pasta he says he can't find it or that it was too expensive. When he does buy me things like frozen fruit for my smoothies my boys 13,12 and 9 take it. I am left with their junk food. We are on a budget and have a lot of kids to feed. And are under a lot of stress.I feel guilty telling them that it is just for me so I let them take it. My husband never buys enough. It often gets eaten by the kids that night.
Time for exercise is the same.My husband lately works almost 7 days a week almost 12 hour days.I try to take my younger kids 4 and 1 out to walk with me while the older kids are in school. They either walk too slow or fall down. I end up having to come home and take care of a skinned knee. And don't have time to go back out to try to walk again because I need to do something else like fix lunch or do laundry. So I wait until the kids come home from school hoping they will help. But if I leave the younger ones with the older girls 16, and 15 they have homework and don't always watch them closely and they get into things that they should not get into, or the older boys 18,13,12 and 9 fight and cause trouble for the 2 girls. If I give the older boys jobs to do while I take my walk then I come home to an even bigger mess than before. Then there is more work for me. So i wait until my husband comes home. This is around 7 pm or later. He needs to eat his dinner. Also,the younger ones need baths and to go to bed earlier than the school kids. No one is able to give them their baths but me. Nothing gets done if I take the time out for me. so I don't. Even now as i am trying to do this my husband is at work and i am left with all the kids at home. My kids 4 and 6 year old are fussing for me to stop and take them to the park. which I plan to do .this logging crap is *kitten*.

Replies

  • DearestWinter
    DearestWinter Posts: 595 Member
    Sounds very hectic! If I were in your situation I would focus on eating what's available in amounts that fit inside my calorie goal. Of course expressing the importance of getting the right food to your husband and that some foods are yours (and not for them) to your kids is ideal but if you're unable to do that for whatever reason then in the end it's you making the decision to eat within your goals.

    Similarly, try to work more movement into what you're already doing and maybe fidget more. (When I talk on the phone I'm always pacing.) But if you can't get real exercise into your schedule then focus on your calorie consumption instead.
  • Tubbs216
    Tubbs216 Posts: 6,597 Member
    Well, I see that you've deactivated your account already, but on the off-chance that you come back to see if anyone's responded...

    You don't have to eat 'healthy' food like wholewheat pasta or smoothies to lose weight. You can do it just eating less of the stuff your husband always buys. Just log it - which you obviously don't care to do. It really isn't hard once you get into the habit. 'Junk food' as you call it, is more expensive that many healthier choices, so you might discuss with your husband ways to reduce the food budget which would also give you all better food choices.

    You don't have to exercise in order to lose weight. There are things you can do at home when your kids are there. For example, just running up and down the stairs a few times is excellent exercise.

    It sounds to me like you are exhausted and overwhelmed, and maybe a bit depressed. Trying to do the math here, looks like you have at least 10 children - is that right? If so, that would be a lot to handle. However, you're blaming everything on your family, but there are many small changes that you can make to your day that will help you meet your goals. Taking personal responsibility is the first thing you must do.
  • Misshelgeson
    Misshelgeson Posts: 17 Member
    I get it my boyfriend that calls me fat found out I joined a gym so now he buys pies all the time and yells at me not to waste them my father brings me home a candy bar any time he goes to the store which is several times a week everyone in your life will try to sabotage you because they want/need you for everything and people purposely do a bad job babysitting or housework whatever the assignment is so you stop asking because it's easier if you just do it yourself you need to take time for yourself you won't be any good to anyone if you don't and soon they will have to do it themselves because they will send you to the funny farm fr and buying junk food is not cheaper than healthy food two lbs of carrots are 2 bucks chips are 4
  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,724 Member
    OP why don't you drive? Can you learn? How many kids total are we talking about here? Can you walk to the store to get what you want? I think the one year old should be able to fit in a push stroller but not sure of the four year old. Can take the little one on your walk that way without them having to do the work? A little extra weight to add resistance to your workout haha

    Tubbs, I don't know if the forum bug where new users appear to be deactivated ever got fixed. Go, MFP!
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
    The OP has either deactivated her account or the site is buggy.
    At any rate, this does not sound real. Nine children???

    Tell the hubby he and everyone needs to start doing chores including preparing, cooking, and cleaning. Everyone needs to take on more responsibility. And everyone needs to help you with the 1 and 4 year olds.
    Tell hubby he has to buy the foods you are willing to cook-- lots of cheap food for the family like potatoes, beans, split peas, onions, oatmeal, cabbage, peanut butter, rice, powdered milk, Bisquick, tomato sauce, lentils, frozen ground beef, chicken thighs, whole chickens, frozen or canned veggies like corn carrots, tomatoes, bread, margerine.

    Teenagers eat a lot and there is not much you can do to stop them. Keep lots of snacks on hand for them and make larger meals.
    When you are getting enough sleep and feel more in control of your day, you will feel a million times better about yourself.
  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,724 Member
    Blended families can up the kiddo count, I think
  • wizzybeth
    wizzybeth Posts: 3,578 Member
    I know people who have that many children.
  • NoIdea101NoIdea
    NoIdea101NoIdea Posts: 659 Member
    If your kids want the smoothies and things that your husband buys you, and are leaving you their junk food, then doesn't that suggest that maybe they don't want junk food either and you should just stop buying it altogether (or for the most part)?
  • dufus12
    dufus12 Posts: 393 Member
    NoIdea101NoIdea wrote: »
    If your kids want the smoothies and things that your husband buys you, and are leaving you their junk food, then doesn't that suggest that maybe they don't want junk food either and you should just stop buying it altogether (or for the most part)?

    Good point.....and the little ones can learn by example so reduce junk food for them and they will never know the difference.

    Have to say, though - 9 kids would be enough to fatigue anyone. Having said that, the 3 eldest are at an age where they can take some responsibility. I know you say if you leave them to it, you end up clearing up a bigger mess, but that is probably what they relying on......believe you me, if you don't clean up or pander to them, they will soon get their act together! It may be pretty messy to begin with, 'cos they so used to you sorting things out, but if you stand back and demand they sort things out themselves, I think you will see a difference. They will wise up. At the minute, they know they can stretch the boundaries.......and how to pull your strings.

    Time to put your foot down.......even it it seems frightening.
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