So stupid. Binge/purge.

rainydayboys
rainydayboys Posts: 79
edited September 27 in Motivation and Support
It's something I haven't done in years. Sure, I've thought about it, and sure, I've binged. But I've never let myself have the satisfaction of purging afterwards - serves me right by keeping it in and all that. I've got a warped mindset.

I thought I was past all that. Then tonight my mother brings over a slab of her wedding cake. And I ate the whole thing, without stopping. And then I was so mad at myself I purged out as much as I could. (Which probably wasn't very much as I hate throwing up and my kids were screaming their heads off, too)

*sigh* Why do we do this to ourselves??? How can I get past this (again)?

Replies

  • cem789
    cem789 Posts: 231 Member
    im here for you! add me if you want. i hadnt done it in years and last thursday ate a whole box of cereal with milk then purged as much up of it as i can :(

    now i dont log my food, as im trying not to obsess over calories, try it :)


    youl be ok :)
  • humblemonkey
    humblemonkey Posts: 576 Member
    I hope you can get well! Maybe talk to a healthcare professional?? I know I was able to stop my unhealhy eating habits by talking myself into thinking of all the terrible things that would happen to my body (and even was already) if i continued eatng that way... Good luck to you...:flowerforyou:
  • ethompso0105
    ethompso0105 Posts: 418 Member
    Please be careful...purging is one of the least healthy things you can do. It's so bad for your body and doesn't help in your over-all weight loss goals. If it becomes a habit, sometimes people need to seek professional help. Just be very careful.
  • crystal_sapphire
    crystal_sapphire Posts: 1,205 Member
    add me if you want. i binge eat and have that same mindset of punishing myself. it sucks
  • andipandi
    andipandi Posts: 91 Member
    i actually don't know what to say. i have infrequent binging episodes but i don't purge. i also have 2 sons and have set myself as the example on how to live a healthy and balanced life (they're teens). you need to be the example! you need to exercise, i run. treat yourself like an athlete...rearrange your mindset. please don't binge and purge near your kids... :(
  • DyannAlvarez
    DyannAlvarez Posts: 162 Member
    So sorry about all of this. This, though, does not define who you are. You've lost a good amount of weight the "right" way so you know what you've got to do. However, this might be an issue for someone else, not just your weight loss buddies. Best of luck to you sweetie. I know it's hard to fail (been there/done that) but I bet you've gotten back up and done what you had to do before. Do it again. You can do this but again, you know yourself better than anyone - should you talk to someone about this?
  • littleowl52
    littleowl52 Posts: 2
    .
  • rainydayboys
    rainydayboys Posts: 79
    Thanks, everyone. I'm (already) embarrassed by my post and was going to delete it but then the responses and friend requests started (thanks!!)... This was an issue for me 6 years ago and I was able to stop, mostly on my own. I do currently have a therapist I haven't seen in months and should go back to asap - not just for this issue.

    It was a one time thing. It has to be. I can't let it happen again. (And I hid in the kitchen while binging on the cake and then ran upstairs to purge, so my kids didn't see/hear. It's so hard to be a good role model when you can't self-parent. I struggle with it daily. But I'm trying.)
  • ChelDM
    ChelDM Posts: 145
    You know I would like to simply say be careful but I really think that if you fear doing this again you should seek counseling to get some help with this.
  • andipandi
    andipandi Posts: 91 Member
    stay strong, play mind games!...when my kids were little i stuck them into skates and turned all 3 of us into NHL hockey players! for the last 14 years we eat, play, and treat ourselves as if we were elite athletes. we all indulge in treats, we all work out hard and we all know that we are human. your boys seeing your humanity is crucial...especially your failures (so long as they're healthy). i for one am not headed to the NHL but my body hasn't figured that out yet ;)
  • absolament
    absolament Posts: 278 Member
    I haven't binged, but have over eaten to the point of wishing I could for the pure discomfort of all that food in my belly. To keep from feeling like that I have learned to indulge by savoring each bite slowly when in my mind I just want to swallow huge chunks. Try it next time... if it's great and you know you will probably gorge yourself on it, try hard to take a realistic size and savor the goodness slowly. Good luck.
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