Dealing with family meals
Monna2
Posts: 100 Member
Hello
I live with my parents and brother.
They're trying to help me , but still they can't stop making cakes or buying sweet stuff. Whenever there's an occasion, there's usually a cake or something baked in the house. And I feel very week at that time. They won't stop buying or making that stuff and I can't stop binging on them. I sometimes finish the whole thing. I can stop myself from buying stuff, but what can I do with what others buy or make in the house?
I live with my parents and brother.
They're trying to help me , but still they can't stop making cakes or buying sweet stuff. Whenever there's an occasion, there's usually a cake or something baked in the house. And I feel very week at that time. They won't stop buying or making that stuff and I can't stop binging on them. I sometimes finish the whole thing. I can stop myself from buying stuff, but what can I do with what others buy or make in the house?
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Replies
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We don't lose weight by changing the purchasing habits of others. We lose weight by controlling what we eat.
I would work on figuring out the root cause of your binging. Are you eating enough? Do you enjoy what you are eating? Are there emotional issues you need to address?1 -
Move out.0
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Hello
I live with my parents and brother.
They're trying to help me , but still they can't stop making cakes or buying sweet stuff. Whenever there's an occasion, there's usually a cake or something baked in the house. And I feel very week at that time. They won't stop buying or making that stuff and I can't stop binging on them. I sometimes finish the whole thing. I can stop myself from buying stuff, but what can I do with what others buy or make in the house?
Oy, I know the feeling!
So, many will tell you to have a little bit of dessert, or splurge if it's rare, but if you're like me you can be a one-person sweets disposal unit! So my method (which admittedly has only been field tested a handful of times)
1. Eat some dessert, especially if they are the food=love types
2. Grab a bottle of diet coke (I know, I know) and sip. It's sweet and calorie free plus you have the added benefit of holding something so no one hands you cake
3. And most important, start bringing your own desserts. Bring strawberries, sweet apples and honey, things that you are comfortable eating without worrying about bingeing. I bring fruit baskets to holidays now. Grapes, berries etc. they are a tidally quite popular!
Good luck, remember, you can only change yourself, but what a change that can be!0 -
Liftng4Lis wrote: »Move out.
This.0 -
Do you have a food scale? Do you weigh your food and log it into your diary?
The obvious choice is to fit the "sweets" into your calorie count. Tough to do with homemade treats to begin with. However, if you want to lose weight you have to start logging your calories.0 -
It's tough at my mum's house too. (I'm 32 and have my own home and family but we go there a couple of times a week). Could you get your own "treats" to substitute when they have cake or biscuits? Like a Jaffa cake? Or a mini gingerbread man?0
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If I have a little, I want it all. I know it is hard but I just say NO. Get up from table and do dishes or leave the room. Once u do this a few times, they will leave u alone. One thought, r they really trying to sabotage u beacuse they r jealous of your goal to lose?0
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Hello
I live with my parents and brother.
They're trying to help me , but still they can't stop making cakes or buying sweet stuff. Whenever there's an occasion, there's usually a cake or something baked in the house. And I feel very week at that time. They won't stop buying or making that stuff and I can't stop binging on them. I sometimes finish the whole thing. I can stop myself from buying stuff, but what can I do with what others buy or make in the house?
Yes you can stop, there's nothing forcing you to eat them - it's just a mental switch in your head rather than some impairment you have which forces you to eat. There's no secret to getting round this, it's just willpower. If you're eating these things, it's because deep down, you want to.0 -
scottacular wrote: »Hello
I live with my parents and brother.
They're trying to help me , but still they can't stop making cakes or buying sweet stuff. Whenever there's an occasion, there's usually a cake or something baked in the house. And I feel very week at that time. They won't stop buying or making that stuff and I can't stop binging on them. I sometimes finish the whole thing. I can stop myself from buying stuff, but what can I do with what others buy or make in the house?
Yes you can stop, there's nothing forcing you to eat them - it's just a mental switch in your head rather than some impairment you have which forces you to eat. There's no secret to getting round this, it's just willpower. If you're eating these things, it's because deep down, you want to.
Scottacular for the win0 -
I no you are looking for advice, but you have to take some responsiblity for yourself. Like some other posters have said no one is forcing you to eat these. I know old habits are hard to kick, but it depends on how much you actually want to change your lifestyle and weight. Try subsituting sweet treats for a better choice or leave enough calories in your 'budget' to allow yourself some sweet treats. It all about breaking the habit. You can do it if you really set your mind to it!0
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Hello
I live with my parents and brother.
They're trying to help me , but still they can't stop making cakes or buying sweet stuff. Whenever there's an occasion, there's usually a cake or something baked in the house. And I feel very week at that time. They won't stop buying or making that stuff and I can't stop binging on them. I sometimes finish the whole thing. I can stop myself from buying stuff, but what can I do with what others buy or make in the house?
1. Leave enough calories in your day to accomadate a serving of cake or something sweet every day. Eat it slowly and really enjoy it. Drink a glass of water while you eat. Always put your serving on a small plate or bowl and take it to the table.
2. Exercise more so you can eat more.
3. Can you get the items divided into portions for each person? Put your share in a container with your name. You eat that and don't touch anyone else's.
4. Don't eat any of it. You can exercise control because you manage to stop yourself from buying these foods all the time. Stop telling yourself that you are weak and can't stop binging. Remind yourself of how strong you can be.
5. Move out.0 -
Have a small amount of what you are craving, log it, and then continue on with something else. If your brain keeps nagging, tell yourself out loud "I just had it, I can have some more tomorrow."
Keep yourself occupied with something that engages your mind. When I'm drawing, I'm so caught up in perfecting my sketch that I sometimes forget to eat dinner...
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This is tough. Even though I'm in charge of most food purchases in my house, food shows up in my house that I didn't bring into it! My husband is always bringing home gifts from students, etc. or my parents give my kids sweets that they can't finish etc.) I have dealt with it by asking my family how much of it they really to eat. If no one really wants it, I toss it without any guilt because, like you said, in a weak moment it might look good to me and the gift giver did not intend for their gift to hurt anyone so why should I let it hurt me?
Personally, I think there's no point in taxing your willpower 10 or 20 times a day. That is hard work and will make you feel like you failed even if 19 out of 20 times you didn't succumb to the temptation. What I have found that works is that as long as it's out of my sight I can usually do okay. (I realize this is why Easter candy got me this past week. The kids left their baskets front and center and I kept walking by them!) It seems reasonable to me that you ask your parents and brother if they don't mind if you can at least the sweets somewhere you won't be as tempted. I find that putting it in a cupboard or up high somewhere makes me less likely to want to eat it. The other day my kids made cupcakes and all it took was some tin foil to cover them up to keep me from taking one every time I passed by them in the kitchen.
Another strategy I use is to tell myself is that I deserve to eat my favorite dessert or sweet and not just some random, half stale thing that just happened to walk into my house. This is where MFP is a lifesaver. If I know I'm going to write it down, it had better be worth it!
Good luck!
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What do you want more... To finish the cake that's supposed to be for the whole family, or to lose weight? If it's the latter, repeat "I want to lose weight more than I want to eat all the cake" or something similar about a million times every day until it sticks.
I had to do the same with alcohol. It's really hard, but really worth it. I still fit a glass of wine into my calories, and you can still have some cake.
Also, try to be more aware of how your food is tasting. The first few bites taste really good. After that, you just don't appreciate it as much. When it stops tasting as delicious as the first bite, back away. Tell yourself you'll have more when you know you'll appreciate it.0 -
Phentermine/Topirmate. You won't care what other people are eating.-1
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Why should they stop? YOU are the one that wants to lose weight. At 28 you are going to have to take some responsibility for what you put in your mouth no matter what food is around you. Many people live with others, whether is spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends, parents, kids, etc. Many people also have jobs and coworkers that bring in donuts, cakes, snacks, etc. You cant dictate that they can't eat what you don't want to eat either. It's life.
When you start making choices that get results, that will probably motivate you more to continue to stick to your calorie goals. At least that's what happens for me. I see you have a decent amount of weight you want to lose. You aren't going to be able to get to your goal by just telling your family not to make treats. Its going to be based on YOUR choices.0 -
Totally agree with previous poster about having to make your own choices. I live with my two stepsons and husband that have never had a weight problem and eat junk food and crap way more than anything else. I control the groceries but I can't just buy them veggies and health food or they would revolt. I make sure to plan my meals and snacks and I always have healthy stuff on hand. It definitely takes willpower not to eat a handful of their cheetos or a Reese's cup especially when I am stressed or starving but it's worth it. The more you say no to the bad and opt for the good, it becomes much easier. It starts to be a habit and soon seeing all those treats won't be quite as hard to resist. Good luck!0
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I'd be livid if my kid was living at home still and whining that I am buying cheesecake and wine.
Time to move out.
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As others have said, what they do is not part your plan. I try hard not to limit anything from my family. Just make sure you have an alternative desert for when they're having cake. I'll admit that sometimes it's awkward to bring fruit to the table when there's a large crowd eating cake. In cases like that, I'll go to the kitchen and sneak in some fruit before heading back to the table.0
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I wish there was a "like" button on some of these posts. So many people say very much the same thing. I will probably repeat some of what is already being said.
1. Why should the others in the household have to change their habits because you are losing weight/changing your lifestyle?
2. You are an adult and as an adult you need to take responsibility for your actions, stop using the excuse that you are "weak."
3. You have two choices, either exercise more or leave enough calories in your daily budget to allow you to have a LITTLE of the baked goods, or learn to say NO.0 -
This is tough. Even though I'm in charge of most food purchases in my house, food shows up in my house that I didn't bring into it! My husband is always bringing home gifts from students, etc. or my parents give my kids sweets that they can't finish etc.) I have dealt with it by asking my family how much of it they really to eat. If no one really wants it, I toss it without any guilt because, like you said, in a weak moment it might look good to me and the gift giver did not intend for their gift to hurt anyone so why should I let it hurt me?
Personally, I think there's no point in taxing your willpower 10 or 20 times a day. That is hard work and will make you feel like you failed even if 19 out of 20 times you didn't succumb to the temptation. What I have found that works is that as long as it's out of my sight I can usually do okay. (I realize this is why Easter candy got me this past week. The kids left their baskets front and center and I kept walking by them!) It seems reasonable to me that you ask your parents and brother if they don't mind if you can at least the sweets somewhere you won't be as tempted. I find that putting it in a cupboard or up high somewhere makes me less likely to want to eat it. The other day my kids made cupcakes and all it took was some tin foil to cover them up to keep me from taking one every time I passed by them in the kitchen.
Another strategy I use is to tell myself is that I deserve to eat my favorite dessert or sweet and not just some random, half stale thing that just happened to walk into my house. This is where MFP is a lifesaver. If I know I'm going to write it down, it had better be worth it!
Good luck!
This! The rule in the house is "a treat is a treat". If Grammy and pop pop bring a whole cake, you can have a slice after dinner, even one as a snack, go nuts!
But at the end of the day the rest of the cake is left out in the rain0 -
True, no sharesieschubby_checkers wrote: »
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You are always going to be around sweets. What is more important to you, eating the sweets or your health? Just don't eat the stuff. I just walked by an entire sheet cake in our break room. I love cake but I love myself more so I just kept on walking.0
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If you have the calories and the desire to eat a slice of cake, eat a slice of cake.
Heck, I buy myself whole cakes. I bring them home, slice them up, wrap and freeze them. Then if I have the calories that day and want cake, I defrost the slice and eat.
Stop blaming others for your choices.0 -
Hello
I live with my parents and brother.
They're trying to help me , but still they can't stop making cakes or buying sweet stuff. Whenever there's an occasion, there's usually a cake or something baked in the house. And I feel very week at that time. They won't stop buying or making that stuff and I can't stop binging on them. I sometimes finish the whole thing. I can stop myself from buying stuff, but what can I do with what others buy or make in the house?
Chances are, even if you move out, you're going to be put in situations where there are temptations that surround you. It's up to you to exercise a little willpower and not binge. If you want to enjoy a slice of cake because you like cake, make it work. But you don't need to have cake just because it's there.
Learn to make it work and say "no". Just because you're looking to avoid certain foods doesn't necessarily mean that everyone around you has to give up things that they love.
Moving out sounds like a good option... but you're still going to need to learn that you will always have temptations around you.
If you're able, have a slice of cake, log it, and learn to put the fork down. Or have some alternate treats you feel comfortable eating that won't make you feel guilty.0 -
SingRunTing wrote: »If you have the calories and the desire to eat a slice of cake, eat a slice of cake.
Heck, I buy myself whole cakes. I bring them home, slice them up, wrap and freeze them. Then if I have the calories that day and want cake, I defrost the slice and eat.
Stop blaming others for your choices.
Is it weird that I love frozen cake more than fresh cake? There's something about the texture and how cold the frosting is.
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Thank you all for your pieces of advice.
Actually, I can't move out. I love living with my family, especially that this is the norm in my country for single men and women. People don't usually live alone, which is good in my opinion.
I loved all what you said. I know I have to exercise will power but I guess I needed someone to remind me. Keeping things out of sight is what I'm trying to do and that's why I created this thread. I agree that I shouldn't put my will power at test all the time; this is not practical. I guess ignoring the presence of those treats is the best option. I may try to do this mind game
I can make myself believe they are not actually there 0 -
Frozen cheesecake is deliciousSconnieCat wrote: »SingRunTing wrote: »If you have the calories and the desire to eat a slice of cake, eat a slice of cake.
Heck, I buy myself whole cakes. I bring them home, slice them up, wrap and freeze them. Then if I have the calories that day and want cake, I defrost the slice and eat.
Stop blaming others for your choices.
Is it weird that I love frozen cake more than fresh cake? There's something about the texture and how cold the frosting is.
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Now I'm hungry ...
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This discussion has been closed.
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