How do I stop sabotaging myself?

frazerkate_sw
frazerkate_sw Posts: 22 Member
edited November 16 in Health and Weight Loss
Breakfast is a hit and miss meal for me, but I've eaten it every day this week, whether it's been a bowl of porridge and fruit or a sausage barm on the go, I count this as a good start to the day in comparison with my usual nothingness. Lunch has been a solid salad with ham or chicken and either coleslaw or cottage cheese and I snack on fruit and cherry tomatoes/ celery as my go to. Dinner is complicated as I often get in from work after 9/10pm and just want something quick, and lately I've craved baked beans or mushy peas so have just been having that, maybe some rice too. My meals tend to fall between 200 and 600 calories all in (dessert included) and I'm happy with that as I have my daily allowance set to 1920, but I can't stop eating crap.

I log whatever I eat, be it a takeaway or just mindlessly eating chocolate, but it's meaning that I am ending most days over my allowance and it's stopping me losing weight. I have a fair bit of weigh to lose still, and am down from 284lbs to 237lbs with a goal of 165lb initially, but it's taken me 6 months to do that. I'm pretty active and this week is the first I've been under 10k steps, since I started tracking them in March, because I'm on invigilation duty which is basically just sitting in a room and making sure people aren't cheating (there's not enough room or students to walk round regularly).

If I'm honest, I'm starting to get disheartened, because it feels like I have lost my will power in relation to food, but when it comes to exercise I'm all about that. For example, I'm off for a short walk/jog now (C25K), tomorrow I'll be cycling and I purposely get off a few stops early when I have the time between my client's houses.

It seems to happen more when I see that I've eaten well I think. Like this week I've had the best lunches but also the worst snacking.

Sorry for wall of text, but just hoping someone has been here before and can help me get out of this rut! I have no intention of going up a dress size again!

Thanks in advance for any help offered, it just feels like my hard work in terms of exercise is a bit wasted when my diet won't stay together.

Replies

  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    Have a deep think about the times and circumstances when you deviate from your plan. Is it stress eating, mindless eating, habit, comfort? Get to the underlying causes and you can work out some strategies to overcome them.

    One of my tricks is to eat a snack at 3:00 in the afternoon before I go home. I don't ever go home hungry.
  • kandell
    kandell Posts: 473 Member
    Each time you find yourself reaching for food when you aren't hungry, remind yourself why you want to lose weight. Another helpful trick might be looking up the calorie content for everything, and equating that to exercise or time. So say that in a 24 hour period your body burns 2000 calories. Eating that bar of chocolate will take X amount of hours or X amount of squats/running/etc. to be burned off.
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
    edited April 2015
    This happens to the best of us from time to time. The biggest thing is that you're being honest with yourself and still logging it.

    Motivation comes from within. You have to want the weight loss more than you want to eat things which are counterproductive. Have you given any thought to simply maintaining your weight for awhile? There's nothing that says that you can't take a break from eating at a deficit until you get your motivation back. Keep up the exercise and logging, so you stay in the habit, and focused but set your goals to maintain. This will allow you your treats and more relaxed eating habits until you're ready to get back to losing weight.

    ETA: Thinking about this for a minute and I wonder if figuring out what your maintenance calories for your goal weight is and eating to that would be even more beneficial? You'd still be losing weight, but more slowly, and you'd get to see how you can eat once you reach your goal. It's worth thinking about.
  • Leighkai76
    Leighkai76 Posts: 26 Member
    Meal planning & prepping. I eat almost the same thing everyday so there's no guesswork. I meal prep for the week on Sunday. I start to go off track from Friday night till Sunday but I try to keep it within reason and make up for it during the week.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
    jgnatca wrote: »
    Have a deep think about the times and circumstances when you deviate from your plan. Is it stress eating, mindless eating, habit, comfort? Get to the underlying causes and you can work out some strategies to overcome them.

    This. When I first started I kept careful track of when I was hungry and why--actual hunger, tempting foods around, stress eating, bad habit based on the time of day, etc.--and then figured out solutions to deal with the particular issues.

    Even now I modify based on results. For some reason I've started being more hungry in the afternoons again and struggling not to snack on things outside my daily plan (I also get home late and eat dinner around 9-10). What has been making sense is increasing the size of my earlier meals and adding in a more substantial afternoon snack, even though my old preference/inclination was to save more calories for dinner/post dinner snack. I'm finding I'm fine eating a slightly lighter dinner (although I am going to keep testing this 'til I find what combination works best).

    In addition to meal timing, experimenting with food choices/macros can help with hunger at various times. I am MUCH more likely to want to snack during the day if I eat high carb breakfasts and lunches, and more likely to feel satisfied if I make sure I include protein and fat and veggies. Others find they need starchy carbs at those times to feel satisfied. It's about finding what works for you. And plus thinking of it that way tends to make me less frustrated with myself for not being perfect and more motivated to figure out the right strategy and learn something about my own body's responses.
  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
    Plan for snacks. Take 25-100 calories out of each meal and use them in between. Package up the snacks so you know - 'this is 50 calories of chocolate, I can eat it without feeling a single pang of guilt because I know it fits into my plan'.
  • ashesfromfire
    ashesfromfire Posts: 867 Member
    I have zero self control. If there are sweets, I will eat them. Solution: Don't buy them. I simply can't keep them in the house or I wont be able to eat them in moderation. If I want a treat, I plan for it, decide what it will be and go get it. If I know I'm going to eat a meal out or order something, I spend some mental energy before hand comparing my options and choosing the best one. When food *magically* appears (for me, this is typically in the form of my significant other surprising me with ice cream) I don't deny myself or throw it out, enjoy it, log it, live your life. You can do it, all it takes is some extra planning and thought. It also helps if you have a fun/silly/or important motivation in the back of your mind. I wanna be Catwoman for next Halloween, and I am not gonna be the fat girl running around in spandex if I can help it! Sometimes I just need to remind myself of that before I scarf some chocolate on a whim.
  • jamie_reynolds
    jamie_reynolds Posts: 67 Member
    well, it looks like you are losing a lb a week, which is a healthy way to go. keep at it! 6 months is long time, but you've lost almost 50 lbs. that is amazing.
  • runmama411
    runmama411 Posts: 162 Member
    I had issues with cravings until I changed what I was putting into my calories. By this, I mean that I was missing out on lean protein, complex carbs, and healthy fats. Not only take a look at why you are craving at the emotional level, but also evaluate your food diary. Are you eating healthy choices that will fill you up and leave you satisfied? Are your meals consistent with simple sugars or carbs that will only make the cravings intensify over the day? I'm not saying I don't want chocolate anymore, but it's a lot less frequent when I'm eating well, not just within my calorie limits. Just a thought. :)
  • frazerkate_sw
    frazerkate_sw Posts: 22 Member
    Thanks for all your input.

    With regards to calories for maintenance at target, they're identical to what I'm set to currently to lose 1.5lbs per week (which I raised as was struggling to eat in the 1700s because of all the junk food). Today I consumed 1878 kcals of pure shite (all logged and counted), yesterday it was 855 kcals, day before approx 600, Monday by some miracle I didn't - but that is a day I took stuff with me like the Alpro Choc pots and Pineapple in Jelly I like for sugary stuff, so looks like prep is key. It's frustrating, because I would love to be cooking a lovely meal for tea this evening, but I am over my allowance and would like to keep on losing. I know I've done well thus far, it's just frustrating. I'm terrified of going backwards really, especially when I am at a point where I have visibly lost weight, and could be at my goal weight this time next year.

    I really like the idea of portioning up my chocolate etc. (I just have this image of me eating it as I portion it) maybe "funsize" bags are the way to go, and if I have the "Pringle" effect cut it out? That's how I ditched the Lattes last year when they were a one a day habit that was ruining my losses, and they're a when I fancy it now thing which is roughly every 3 weeks.

    I think I'm mostly bored when I'm eating, and a lot of the time it's simply because it's there, so I need to either stop buying it, or portion it up to keep in control. But I'm definitely going to write down what I'm feeling etc when I'm about to reach for it, so I can use that when it crops up.



  • frazerkate_sw
    frazerkate_sw Posts: 22 Member
    runmama411 wrote: »
    I had issues with cravings until I changed what I was putting into my calories. By this, I mean that I was missing out on lean protein, complex carbs, and healthy fats. Not only take a look at why you are craving at the emotional level, but also evaluate your food diary. Are you eating healthy choices that will fill you up and leave you satisfied? Are your meals consistent with simple sugars or carbs that will only make the cravings intensify over the day? I'm not saying I don't want chocolate anymore, but it's a lot less frequent when I'm eating well, not just within my calorie limits. Just a thought. :)

    I was just wondering where you would advise that I start with this? I'm a bit rubbish at meal planning, and lunch is basically the only meal that I manage to successfully eat healthily each day.
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
    frazerkate_sw wrote: »
    I think I'm mostly bored when I'm eating, and a lot of the time it's simply because it's there, so I need to either stop buying it, or portion it up to keep in control. But I'm definitely going to write down what I'm feeling etc when I'm about to reach for it, so I can use that when it crops up.
    I'm a boredom eater, too.

    I've definitely learned that I have to not buy it, portion out larger packages into smaller ones or buy stuff that I can munch in front of the TV that won't kill my calorie allotment. I've also gotten in to the habit of leaving myself some extra calories for after dinner exactly for this reason. If I eat them, fine. If I don't, then that's fine, too.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    Have you taken any diet breaks during the six months you've been dieting? I'm wondering if allowing yourself a week or two to eat at maintenance would give you a bit of a mental break and recharge.
  • frazerkate_sw
    frazerkate_sw Posts: 22 Member
    jemhh wrote: »
    Have you taken any diet breaks during the six months you've been dieting? I'm wondering if allowing yourself a week or two to eat at maintenance would give you a bit of a mental break and recharge.

    I've not, but I'll set myself up for a 2 week maintenance now, so I'm not focusing too much on losing weight, and then come May I'll be ready and back on it. Looking at the calories to maintain (2750) they seem quite high, and aside from one major binge-y day, I've not gone over that even with all the junk. But hopefully I'll get in the habit of not eating back exercise calories/ eating them before I've earnt them.

    I just want to get into eating healthily and looking forward to food, there was a time when I'd cook grilled fish with rice and veg for dinner and have Quorn, avocado and salad wraps for lunch - whereas now that I have so many demands for my time I really struggle to do anything other than buy what I can from the supermarket that requires the least effort. @SueInAz I like the idea of saving calories specifically for this reason, and hopefully if it's planned, that way I can still have the meals that I look forward to.
  • frazerkate_sw
    frazerkate_sw Posts: 22 Member
    I really do appreciate everyone's responses this evening, so thank you! Hate that I've hit a point of struggling after achieving so much!
  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
    edited April 2015
    My meals tend to fall between 200 and 600 calories all in

    Try eating 3-4 bigger, more satisfying meals (each 500-600, maybe cut out desserts or have a very small dessert). I'm similar to you - happier with more exercise and more food, and I do better with bigger meals.
  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
    edited April 2015
    Also, don't eat as much takeaway = more & more efficient meal prep, as someone said above.
  • SwankyTomato
    SwankyTomato Posts: 442 Member
    edited April 2015
    I cut back the breakfast and lunch calories and then cut out most "snacks". It has taken many months to get to this place. It was hard but I was a BIG lunch and breakfast eater (easy for me to do 600cals) which just left me no room in the evening.

    Keep at it. You will figure out what works for YOU!
  • abarriere
    abarriere Posts: 135 Member
    Losing an average of 1.8 lbs a week is awesome and perfectly within what is deemed the healthy rate of weightloss. I agree with other posters that maybe if you can get a more satisfying meal in, that you won't have the same desire for the munchies.

    Whenever I get to a place where either I want to snack aimlessly or finish a workout early, i think to myself "This is the most important time in the process, this is the difference between maintaining and losing" and it helps me to make the decision not to eat the unhealthy food or push really hard a the end of the workout. If anything, it helps you be more mindful about the decision you are making.

    Good luck!
  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
    Are you a pescatarian? If so, not sure my rabidly carnivorous ways will help, but this is what works for me.

    I shop for 3-4 days. I buy
    - Some meat (protein if you're not a land flesh-eater). For me that'd be lean minced beef (for ~3-5 meals) and a steak, or a steak and 2 chicken breasts (the 2 breasts would be 4 meals). Minced meat, I might make into a meatloaf, or burgers, or just fry up with onions. I can then can throw it into 1 million other dishes to bump up the protein (e.g.: a last-minute bolognese)
    - Some legumes - again, 1/4 or 1/2 a can in a soup or salad would significantly increase my protein content (as well as fibre, which also helps you feel full)
    - Some veggies for boiling or sauteeing - max 2 kinds
    - Some veg for salad - cabbage or spinach (this may last longer than 3 days).
    - Some kind of starch - potatoes, rice, pasta

    I cook and prep every night, but I roll leftovers into meals, so I'm only cooking 1-2 things.

    Same breakfast every day (eggs and toast for me, might be sausage thing or beans on toast for you). Good to have a lot of protein in it if you can.

    Sometimes, I make a big batch of something - like a chili or lentils or a stew - and freeze it for days I don't feel like cooking. I don't do this that often because I'm not thrilled with frozen stuff, but it can help. (You could also buy ready made "healthy" frozen meals for days like that - usually they're less calorific than take-out, and you're helping your future self by making that decision in advance)
  • dsalveson
    dsalveson Posts: 306 Member
    It sounds like your diet is staying together pretty well if you've lost 47lbs in the past 6 months. That's almost 8lbs a month which is an awesome loss, so don't get discouraged.

    If you like to snack then just save calories for it. You certainly don't have to stop snacking. I could be wrong, but from your post it sounds like you're only making yourself eat breakfast because you think you're supposed to. You don't have to eat breakfast if you're not hungry in the mornings. Maybe you could save some/all of those calories for snacking and incidentals later in the day.

    Like others said, you just have to experiment and find what works for you. It's more manageable to plan around/adjust your current patterns instead of trying to overhaul them completely.
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