My obsession with my weight, My problem with guilt

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SylverLining95
SylverLining95 Posts: 1
in Health and Weight Loss
Hi everyone!!

So it's been a month and a half that i've been working out a lot in the gym ( 5 to 6 times a week, i mostly attend classes that include cardio and some strength training is involved). So i started around the end of Feb and i was around 121 lbs or so. ( im 5'2 , 159 cm) I weighed myself on March 27 th and i found out i was 114.5 and i was really suprised ( i haven't weighed myself since) ( im planning on weighing myself May 1st). I was kinda on a strict diet, trying to stay away from all carbs most of the time ( i havent eaten rice in a long time and no bread at all most of the time). Since my weigh in, i've been struggling a lot to stay on track with a low carb diet. Im trying to reach 110 lbs and now i feel like its impossible.
Im always falling off track now , eating chocolate ( i MEAN LOTS OF IT), and bread and i feel so guilty and i contemplate the idea of going 7 days a week to the gym or even not eating the rest of the day. My family has been telling me to stop losing weight and just try to maintain it cause i go to the gym and all, so it would be okay for me just to eat normally and not follow a certain program with lots of restrictions. Im torn, and i just want to reach 110 lbs so bad, but i feel like ive gotten so obsessed with my weight and being skinny. im just so afraid of gaining all the weight back. Even with all the weight i've lost, i still have a tummy and i still feel like im fat ( even thought everyone tells me im not, even when i was at 120 and 125 lbs).

I dont know what to think. i dont know what to do anymore.

Replies

  • jenncornelsen
    jenncornelsen Posts: 969 Member
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    I think u are in unhealthy mental state. Why would 4lbs decide your happiness? Ur body is rebeling because u probably did a crash diet. Its time to reevaluate ur goals and how u base your self worth.
  • iwearthejumper32
    iwearthejumper32 Posts: 57 Member
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    Although lots of people have success this way... sounds like restricting food groups isnt sustainable for you. Youre telling yourself "no" everyday and it gets exhausting. Use the MFP logging and weigh your food. Eat what you like and create a deficit in your calories (you already work out plenty) Then you can allow for chocolate! A different approach could help you obsess less... and relax. Try try try to think of this as how youre going to eat forever... as long as you want to STAY at your goal once you get there. Imagine still feeling like this in 3 years. If you feel tortured (which is how your post is reading)... might be time to tweak your mindset. ;)
  • nikkiw29
    nikkiw29 Posts: 25
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    It's not going to matter what anyone says on this board if you have found yourself in the dark place of dieting obsession. I can tell you from personal experience that even if you hit 110lbs it won't be enough because you will probably panic once you see the scale fluctuate just a bit. Chasing a number that you think will magically put your mind at ease about your appearance is extremely damaging both mentally and physically. Do yourself a favor and go speak with your doctor. You have a lot of red flags of an eating disorder and as a female who has battled anorexia for most of her life I don't wish that hell on anyone. Listen to your family, they're not lying to you.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
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    SylverLining95 wrote: »
    Hi everyone!!

    So it's been a month and a half that i've been working out a lot in the gym ( 5 to 6 times a week, i mostly attend classes that include cardio and some strength training is involved). So i started around the end of Feb and i was around 121 lbs or so. ( im 5'2 , 159 cm) I weighed myself on March 27 th and i found out i was 114.5 and i was really suprised ( i haven't weighed myself since) ( im planning on weighing myself May 1st). I was kinda on a strict diet, trying to stay away from all carbs most of the time ( i havent eaten rice in a long time and no bread at all most of the time). Since my weigh in, i've been struggling a lot to stay on track with a low carb diet. Im trying to reach 110 lbs and now i feel like its impossible.
    Im always falling off track now , eating chocolate ( i MEAN LOTS OF IT), and bread and i feel so guilty and i contemplate the idea of going 7 days a week to the gym or even not eating the rest of the day. My family has been telling me to stop losing weight and just try to maintain it cause i go to the gym and all, so it would be okay for me just to eat normally and not follow a certain program with lots of restrictions. Im torn, and i just want to reach 110 lbs so bad, but i feel like ive gotten so obsessed with my weight and being skinny. im just so afraid of gaining all the weight back. Even with all the weight i've lost, i still have a tummy and i still feel like im fat ( even thought everyone tells me im not, even when i was at 120 and 125 lbs).

    I dont know what to think. i dont know what to do anymore.

    I suggest you speak with your doctor about counseling. It sounds to me like you have disordered thinking about food and your body, which can often lead to eating disorders.

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