Social life and pressure from friends

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  • Charlotte012
    Charlotte012 Posts: 139 Member
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    Well, I can totally relate to that. Actually, I have to say that most of the diets I did in my life failed because of peer or family pressure. Sometimes, they seem to be supportive (my family for example), but they would complain if I ask a healthier choice for dessert or when I control my portions. They often say "just one time won't hurt you!". Well, it does hurt me. Now, I always ask my mom what we gonna eat before I go, I pressure her to cook more veggies and I bring my own dessert (thinsations or low fat yogourt). It is still really hard to be strong and not overeat in a house where I've always been used to be addicted to food.

    I usually don't tell my friends I'm on a diet (or on a life change process!) - in part because I know most of them are going to judge me. Most of the time, we meet around food and/or alcohol. And most of the time, there is just no healthy choices. I try to find alternatives. If we do a potluck, I will make sure I bring all healthy options I need. If we go for drinks, I will drink 2 glasses and then sparkling water (I sometimes say I'm on medecine so I cannot drink). I plan my workout around these events, but if I don't have time to workout enough, or if they are going to a burger place, I just say I can't go and I join them later.

    I know it's not fun, but I know that if I have 2 dinners and 1 brunch in the weekend, I am not gonna be able to meet my goals, I'm gonna feel disgusting on Monday, and I'm gonna lose all my motivation - that happened to me enough! So I just have to stick to what I need for myself.

    Good luck!
  • Louiselesley
    Louiselesley Posts: 166 Member
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    hi, i have the exact same problem!

    my problem is more to do with the fact i'm normally the 'skinny' friend so when i say something about being on a diet or not wanting to eat that, i normally get laughed at. why would i need to loose weight when i'm already small? i hate that, i really do.

    i know they don't mean it in a horrible way but it still hurts. i finally got to the point where i just cracked and ranted for about 20minutes about how maybe they think i'm small but i like to be healthy, not just as a good weight. i enjoy being healthy. i'm happy when i'm healthy!
  • shoshona26
    shoshona26 Posts: 7
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    Thank you all so much! I found this to be almost therapuetic! I will definitely be using many of these suggestions!
  • boomboom011
    boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
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    I have a similar situtation with 2 of my good friends. One of which I have been able to tell her that Im going to have to limit driveway time (our free therapy with booze where we get together in one of my friend's driveway and vent about our troubles) and it usually ends up with all 3 of us intoxicated. HOWEVER, one of my 2 friends is very supportive but the other one (the overweight one) is always saying "oh come on one more wont hurt". Basically she just doesnt want to drink alone because then she thinks she isnt the only drunk in the group. I finally had to tell her that sitting and drinking beer for hours isnt conducive to my weight loss goal. Dont get me wrong I love going over there but the end result will not be what I really want.

    Keep your goal in mind and maybe invite them to go to the gym with you or if they all want to go out to eat offer to have them over for dinner and skinny girl margaritas or something. That way you are not only saving calories you are also saving money. EATING OUT IS EXPENSIVE TO YOUR POCKETBOOK AS WELL AS YOUR WAIST. Everyone is right about people not liking change.

    Maybe you have one friend that is really supportive and the two of you can join forces and the others may follow. Dont let it get to you. This too shall pass. Its new and they will eventually get past it. If they dont then cut them loose. Like a quote i heard a while back that says "we dont choose who comes into our lives but we have the choice of who stays". Keep yourself surrounded by positive people.
  • YvetteBabich
    YvetteBabich Posts: 44
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    I find it best not to tell my friends I'm on a diet. I'm not on a diet. I'm not having an appetizer because I'm really looking forward to my meal. And I ordered the salad b/c it looked yummy. I'm not having another drink b/c I have to get up early, or I've offered to be the DD. If you tell people you're on a diet, they're just going to feel guily b/c they're not on one and so they're going to try to sabatoge yours. I find it best not to talk about my diet and weightloss unless someone asks.

    This. It's best to just keep your mouth shut about your health changes so as not to make other people feel uncomfortable about their own habits. People will accept that you have something to wake up for which is why you don't want to have more drinks, or that you really like salad more than they will enjoy hearing that you are just being healthier than them.

    I actually find it pretty funny, I've beeing consciously "dieting" (lifestyle changed) and exercising and making the effort to lose weight without mentioning it or bringing it up to anyone but my mom and almost nobody else for over four months now, and just last weekend, one of my best friends that I hang out with all the time asked me jokingly "what, are you watching your weight?" when I ordered a mixed drink with diet coke at the bar. It made me smile to think that no one really has to know how much effort I've put into losing all this weight, and also that people don't think it's all I focus on, because it definitely isn't. It's good to have a life outside of weight loss, and that's easier to do when your friends don't know about it.

    Edit: This being said, I think it's totally great to talk about your diet and lifestyle changes with your friends if they approach you about it for advice or if they are curious or whatever. I'm just saying it's best not to be the one bringing it up. At least, that's how I am. I don't like feeling like I'm shoving ideas down peoples' throats, and that's how it would probably make me feel...
  • MandiPandi757
    MandiPandi757 Posts: 28 Member
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    Well first of all, if they are true friends they will stick by you and be supportive NO MATTER WHAT! I suggest doing what Creiche said to do.....sit down with some or one on one with these friends of yours and tell them how you feel. They are probably just adjusting to your new lifestyle and maybe some of these friends have some insecurities about themselves that your bringing out in them when they see you eat what your eating and doing what your doing. But talking to them is the first thing you should do to lay it all out and express your concern. Then we'll see who sticks by you and who doesn't. Unfortuneately you may lose some of them, but then again it's their loss. I had a friend who I considered one of my best friends (or so I thought) when I started my weight loss journey. Before my journey, we did all kinds of stuff together and I also worked with her. Slowly she started pulling away and then a year later we were hardly doing anything anymore. Now we barely talk. It's sad, really sad that she couldn't stick with me. She's a big girl, too. Needless to say, I don't work in the same place as her anymore either, so it makes it kinda easy to not have to see her. I don't really know what happened, but I do know that I made her feel bad without even saying anything, because I was doing something about my weight and she wasn't. So, don't beat yourself up and don't feel guilty about what your doing. Stick to your guns and talk to your friends. If they are your friends, they'll understand. :) Good Luck!

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