Almost 30 pounds lost

SunLove8
SunLove8 Posts: 693 Member
edited September 27 in Motivation and Support
My goal is to lose 40 pounds and I'm almost there (when I get there I'll post pics). I find it odd that besides my husband only my Mother in law really has said anything about my weight loss; however, my family says how great my husband looks after losing 20 pounds. It's strange to me because it is very noticable (I went down from a tight fitting size 16 to a size 10). Has anybody else been going through this? I just ask because I can't help but have my feelings hurt that none of my friends or family can say anything nice to me about losing this weight that I needed to lose. I guess I just want their support and it sucks not getting it especially when I give support to them constantly.

Replies

  • SunLove8
    SunLove8 Posts: 693 Member
    P.S., this doesn't include my awesome MFP's who are constantly supporting me!
  • shannon7672
    shannon7672 Posts: 2
    Because they are jealous. Keep your chin HIGH and keep on doing what you are doing. That is AWESOME on your weightloss!!!!
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
    Reasons may vary. Some people may not notice. Some people might think that it'd be rude to say you've lost weight because then they'd be acknowledging that you were "fat" before. Sometimes they're just waiting to see if it'll stick (if this is a cycle you've done before especially) and sometimes they just picture you skinnier than you were in their mind and when they see you the image actually matches so they don't notice.
  • Msaip
    Msaip Posts: 482 Member
    If i didn't complain and gripe so much about how much i hate working out no one would notice me losing weight! I'm almost to the thirty pound mark and they compliment yes but I think it's more to keep me going!
  • Davali
    Davali Posts: 225 Member
    I do think people are cautious about mentioning it - there are so many people that haven't mentioned anything to me.
  • SkinnyMissy1
    SkinnyMissy1 Posts: 11
    I am TOTALLY in your same boat! My husband did this with me for support and he dropped 18 lbs quick. I am almost to 30 and EVERYTIME we go to family functions or see friends, everyone comments on his weight loss. It makes me a little MAD! Maybe it's b/c we carry our weight different or something, who knows, but I definitely understand what you are going through!
  • maddymama
    maddymama Posts: 1,183 Member
    Hi,
    I wouldn't worry what other people say or don't say- just know that you are doing an awesome job of taking care of yourself.
    Congratulations on your weight loss.
  • cruise160
    cruise160 Posts: 55
    Its hard alot of the time to find people like you when your a good person. Some may be jealous and not even realize it or their actions. Im sure your doing magnificent! My mom and hubs are the only ones that comments as well. Sometimes I feel like its pointless and maybe Im imagining the changes. But in the end...you are doing whats good for you....if they chose not to comment, O WELL! Your still smokin!!! :-)
  • melleyd
    melleyd Posts: 432 Member
    I've lost almost 30 and my husband can't really even tell. ugh! I guess that means he thinks I looked ok before....lol. He said he can tell a little now. I can't wait til the day when I don't have to tell people that I've lost weight! lol
  • altazin0907
    altazin0907 Posts: 188 Member
    First great job! How long did it take to lose the 30? The reason I ask is that if it took a while then maybe some just simply havent been paying much attention. However, I would get my feelings hurt too. But keep your head up and keep on working and in no time they will realize!
  • valkyrian
    valkyrian Posts: 10
    Congratulations to you on the weight loss!!

    My family doesn't notice the weight I've lost or the things I do either - they're too busy telling me what I don't do. My hubby, son, and close friends notice & encourage me all the time. Then add the MFP family - I've got a lot of support.
  • SunLove8
    SunLove8 Posts: 693 Member
    Thanks all, you all brought up some really good points that I haven't thought of before. It really helps and thank you! =)
  • bettertracie
    bettertracie Posts: 196 Member
    That can be tough... I dont know your exact situation and if you have always been "trying to lose" or not... but for me, if I noticed that someone's been fluxuating a lot, I wait for that person to bring it up. They may think you don't want to talk about it... I go through phases where I want people to notice, and then when they do and it too, can get overwhelming, then I just start to kinda feel like a twister in the wind.... Im trying to just be happy with what I see in the mirror everyday... good luck!! :)
  • meg811
    meg811 Posts: 49
    I absolutely know what you're talking about... I have lost 50 pounds, my husband has lost 55 and although I do think it is more noticeable on him, I still think people should be noticing me by now too. Yes, I was bigger than him to begin with, and still am, but 50 pounds is a lot to lose and have no one notice.

    Perfect example for you... we were at a big family party Saturday and my aunt came up to me and said "Wow, Chris looks great, he's lost a lot of weight"... my response "Yeah, he does. Together we've lost 105 pounds. I've lost 50 and he's lost 55"... she literally stepped back, looked me up and down, and said "Oh. You've lost weight too?" I wanted to punch her in the face! Not that I expect people to blow sunshine up my *kitten* but that was just plain rude. She's just not a nice person to begin with, but even other family members seemed to notice him right off and weren't too sure if they should ask me. I understand that when someone is bigger, people are more cautious of asking just in case it offends the person, but sometimes it's nice to be noticed!
  • kacibullis
    kacibullis Posts: 3
    Oh my gosh I am so glad you mentioned this! Nine years ago I lost 45 pounds and almost no one noticed...my husband lost that same amount last year and EVERYONE made a big deal out of it. Sadly I let myself be discouraged and gained my weight back, this time I am trying not to get discouraged if no one notices! You are doing great and the truth is no one can make you feel as good as the accomplishment itself, you have done an amazing thing:)!
  • swinginchandra
    swinginchandra Posts: 418 Member
    I think there is some difference between social stigmas attached to male and female weight loss. If you tell a guy he looks slim and great - even if he hasn't *actually* lost weight, he probably won't be offended. (According to stereotypes)

    It gets more complicated with women. Say you see a friend, and she looks like she's lost weight, and you think she looks great, so you compliment her. Now, what if she hasn't lost weight, and on top of that, she didn't think she needed to loose any weight to begin with. Now, instead of complimenting her, you've implied she's overweight. (According to gender stereotypes, that's how gals see things)

    Weight is one of those issues that there is some social awkwardness about commenting on. "Noticing" someones weight is pretty un PC. I've lost almost 50 lbs, and the other day one of my professors asked me "if I was doing something different / with my hair, or clothes, or something" - IMO that's a nice way of fishing for confirmation that I was trying to loose weight. When I replied that I'd lost about 50 lbs he congratulated me, and told me he could really see a difference...
  • cjjones007
    cjjones007 Posts: 602
    FANTASTIC work!
    I too have dealt with that - at 108 pounds lost - I got my first comment at 90 pounds lost and only then because I threw on an old shirt that was 3 sizes too big and someone said "wow have you done something lately?" lol and :sigh:

    You are doing a great job and I'm so pleased that the MFP community has been there for you!!!

    I finally realized that the ONLY person who had to notice was me ;) and thank goodness I now can :)
  • BeautifulTestimony
    BeautifulTestimony Posts: 37
    Hey don't worry about it... You are buying size 10 jeans now !!! Keep up the good work. Please add me as a friend if you like.
  • FaithandFitness
    FaithandFitness Posts: 653 Member
    I agree with the not wanting to offend part! I was always a bit unsure what to say when my sister in law was losing weight, but she is looking fabulous now and I make sure to tell her so.
  • sophjakesmom
    sophjakesmom Posts: 904 Member
    Some people might think that it'd be rude to say you've lost weight because then they'd be acknowledging that you were "fat" before.

    I totally agree with this one. One of my coworkers commented yesterday that I had lost a lot of weight and then stopped himself and said, "I probably shouldn't have said that." I assured him, I was totally fine with it!! Hang in there, I bet you look fabulous.:drinker:
  • mkcalvert
    mkcalvert Posts: 219 Member
    Yep me too!! Even people who know I'm working out and dieting won't comment at all....It's very hard for me especially since I'm so hard on myself anyway...sometimes it would just be a little confidence booster when you can get a compliment without dragging it out of someone!!
  • atlraine
    atlraine Posts: 172 Member
    Because they are jealous. Keep your chin HIGH and keep on doing what you are doing. That is AWESOME on your weightloss!!!!

    I'm with Shannon completely...pure jealousy!!! Sometimes people are jealous, sometimes they think they've said it once and that is enough, and sometimes there are others constantly say 'you've lost weight again'!

    Don't give up! Keep your chin up and keep on trucking!!!
  • lovecola06
    lovecola06 Posts: 180 Member
    I can totally relate... I want people to notice that I've lost weight too. It does make us feel good when someone says something about our weight loss. I wear a uniform to work (I'm in the Navy), so I kinda figure that they can't tell so much.

    I do agree with what a couple people said about coworkers/friends maybe thinking it would be rude to comment on how much weight you lost. It's definitely a possibility. Could also be jealousy b/c they are not doing something about their own weight...

    Oh, and my husband has also lost about 40 lbs and gets comments ALL THE TIME! I have no clue why that is such a common theme here.

    Just remember that on MFP you have plenty of support and friends that notice your hard work and weight loss. Keep up the Good Work!!!

    -Nicole
    5491367.png
    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter

    5'4"
    SW: 184lbs
    CW: 158lbs
    GW: 135lbs
  • SunLove8
    SunLove8 Posts: 693 Member
    First great job! How long did it take to lose the 30? The reason I ask is that if it took a while then maybe some just simply havent been paying much attention. However, I would get my feelings hurt too. But keep your head up and keep on working and in no time they will realize!

    Thank you! It took me 5 months. I had a bit of a set back when I quit smoking a month and a half ago, but it's pretty steady.
  • SunLove8
    SunLove8 Posts: 693 Member
    FANTASTIC work!
    I too have dealt with that - at 108 pounds lost - I got my first comment at 90 pounds lost and only then because I threw on an old shirt that was 3 sizes too big and someone said "wow have you done something lately?" lol and :sigh:

    You are doing a great job and I'm so pleased that the MFP community has been there for you!!!

    I finally realized that the ONLY person who had to notice was me ;) and thank goodness I now can :)

    Congrats on losing 108 pounds, that is awesome! I can't believe nobody "noticed" or at least said anything until you lost 90 lbs. WOW, you are doing great!
  • SunLove8
    SunLove8 Posts: 693 Member
    Thank you EVERYONE! I love this site so much, if it wasn't for the support I got on here I don't think I'd be as successful. I've normally always been then but after I got married I ate way to much and sat on my butt a lot due to school and gained 40 lbs. I got the highest weight I ever was and it wasn't until I saw a picture of myself and got asked if I was pregnant by a 8 year old did I finally realize how bad it was, lol!
  • Mamoune
    Mamoune Posts: 2 Member
    Yes, I lost 30 pounds and no one said a thing. Playahaters!
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