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What works for you....does not always work for me.

Ok let me just share my recent thoughts here with you....I have had this on my mind for a while now and I just needed to get it out. I know not everyone will agree, or see it how I do, or think the way I think...but I just want to share and hey feedback and thoughts are always welcomed...ok...here goes.....

I simply hate putting thought into my food. I hate counting calories, I hate watching macros, I hate checking labels all the time. I hate trying to plug things into my fitnesspal to compare the combination of food choices and how they pan out nutritionally. I hate always thinking about food, and how and when and what I'm going to eat. I hate making sure my portions are right, and I'm getting enough protein and not overloading on carbs. I hate everything I read about food and nutrition. All the hype of meal prepping and planning and carrying all your meals around with you every day. I hate having to plan out breakfast lunch and dinner everyday and hope I like or feel like eating whatever it is when the time comes to actually eat it. Eating the same things over and over again. I just hate it.

Now don't get me wrong...I do enjoy a lot of these things sometimes. I do see the benefits and the reason behind a lot of these things as well. And by no means to I enjoy dumping a bunch of crap into my body. I like planning ahead because I'm such a busy gal that even if I planned on eating crap it still makes my life easier. I do love looking at nutrition labels and ingredients lists because I love avoiding as much unnatural gunk we shove in our products these day. I do enjoy how I feel when I eat better I really truly do. I just hate how trying really hard to be "good" makes me feel when I'm "bad"

I hate that when I'm logging my calories and I eat something "bad" I log it and it makes me go over. Not so much at the going over part but what that means...its like saying you failed. Your not making progress. Which leads me to a lot of times not logging things at all. Which worse I realize that.

Now I realize that those things are not true. None of that means I failed. But that does prevent me from feeling that way. I hate that in order to lose weight it feels like I have to totally alter my life, and put my entire focus into food. Food. Food. Food. I am so sick of it. I have my emotional problems with food...and that has led me to be overweight. However, this journey to try and lose weight has left me in a worse off place with food. I am at a point where I wish I just never got hungry.

I don't want to think about food anymore. I am not, nor will I ever be someone who meals preps 6 meals a day for the entire week. That is not me. I have tried, and I end up wasting money and food and my time. I am a college kid, who works 50 hours a week. That is by no means an excuse for anything. That is me telling you that on top of all that I don't want to meal prep. I simply don't want to. And if by choosing not meal prep or do any of the tactics others may do that I'll be "fat" and "out of shape" for the rest of my life so be it.

But I won't take that. You can not tell me that there is not a way to be in shape, and be healthy and lose weight without putting such a heavy focus on food and exercise. I feel like everywhere I turn is something new about nutrition, or exercise, or a new fitness fanatic on Facebook, a new challenge group. Since when? Why? What happened to living life in a healthy way?

I guess my point is that I have had an unhealthy emotional issue with food for a very long time. I am working on it. But the way people "push" or suggest for lack of a better word, others to lose weight or get in shape has left me worse off then I was before. Not only do I have the emotional issues with food, now I end up with the guilt and the personal failure feelings that come along with it. The stress the annoyance the everything.

I know this is something that I just have to find my niche, my way, my method. What works for me. I get that. I am working towards it every day. I love healthy foods, and I love being healthy. I also love sugary lattes, fried foods and mashed potatoes. I am finding a method that works for me. I guess I have just come to realize that what may work for other doesn't mean it works for me....and that's ok.

Replies

  • 1shauna1
    1shauna1 Posts: 994 Member
    Exactly. I agree with a lot of what you've said and find I'm the same. I hate it if something I brought to work for lunch just doesn't tickle me at lunch time, but then I'm stuck. I hate logging something that puts me over for the day (but my goals lately include logging everything so I'm stuck with that for now). I guess my ultimate goal is to live happy, eat what I want (but know when to stop), do activities I enjoy and love my life.
  • Soopatt
    Soopatt Posts: 563 Member
    I wrote a blog about this. There is the idea floating around, that being thin should be easy. That if we really had a healthy relationship with food, we would not have to think about it, we would just instinctively know what to eat and when to stop. If we have to watch and plan every mouthful, the thinking goes, we are admitting to ourselves that we are out of control pigs who can't control ourselves in a "normal" way.

    I call this thinking my Inner Mean Girl.

    The Inner Mean Girl judges food management and considers it weakness. The Inner Mean Girl wants to laugh at people who do that, at how pathetic they are for needing such devices.

    I had to really take a long hard look at my thinking, to break away from this. I had to start by discarding the idea that there are lucky naturally thin people who get to eat all the nice stuff and.. the rest of us. When you get stuck in an "us" or "them" mentality, it is easy to feel sorry for oneself, feeling miffed that you have to do all this work, when others do as they like. The truth is... others do not do as they like, or if they do, there are other balances in play which make it appear that they "get away with it" when actually, they have to exercise it off, or be moderate for a few days after a big indulgence (even if subconsciously).

    Give some thought to the idea that you do not want to think about what you eat. Why not? What is wrong with enjoying food? With savoring it, planning it and anticipating it? We attach so much emotional stuff to food that we are either grazing it on a high or piling it in like zombies, while distracting ourselves by driving or sitting in front of the telly. Zoning out while you eat is not the answer. Many a packet of chips has been consumed that way and not a morsel properly enjoyed.

    Of course your experience is your own and may not match mine.
  • Lizzy622
    Lizzy622 Posts: 3,705 Member
    You should definitely find your own way. I just make suggestion of what may have worked for me and also like to read what others have done and take some of their suggestions. Keep reading and keep exploring and you may find your Ah-Ha moment when you find something that will work well for you.
  • dopeysmelly
    dopeysmelly Posts: 1,411 Member
    I agree absolutely with what you say!!

    I've distilled all weight loss advice down to "What works for you, is what you can stick with and what works.. for you" That covers pretty much everything, including whether you need to wait until you're mentally ready or not, what food you like to eat (or not eat), how much effort you feel capable of devoting to it (or not) and whether you want to workout (or not).

    I know that sounds trite, but I really believe this and it's what I tell people who ask me how I've managed to lose 65 lbs.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 45,770 Member
    IMO, it's not as hard a people make it out to be. And if you think this is hard.................wait till you get married and have kids.
    Not saying that what you're experiencing isn't annoying or difficult. You just have to find a system that's LESS stressful to you. Some do systematic eating. They eat the same meals basically everyday so they don't have to count and already know nutrient value. Then all they have to worry about is just whatever else they added in their intake that day.
    I ate this way pretty much for 10 years. Then I got married.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

  • thursdayswoman
    thursdayswoman Posts: 60 Member
    It can be really hard to prep, and log, especially when you're busy. And some of the advice-givers here (who immediately start in on 'you need to log,' 'open your diary,' 'just fit it in your macros', etc.) when people express problems are not helpful at the beginning or after a setback. (Especially when the setbacks happen over and over.)

    But. The thing is, tracking what you eat, and planning it in advance (whether that means deciding where and what to get for take-out or prepping a weeks' worth of meals) is really the most reliable method for losing weight, keeping it off, and maintaining a healthy lifestyle within the guidelines currently approved of by doctors. Now, if those guidelines don't suit you, you can make your own, and live within those parameters...because ultimately like you said it's about what works for you, and what you define as fitness in your own life.

    I find that frustrating myself. If you look at my diary, you'll see I've gone over every day for the last forty days. I hate seeing the red numbers and I'm not pleased with the reality that I respond to my emotions by eating. But facing the truth of that situation has been somewhat helpful - it's helping me understand what I'm doing, and why. Which is the first step towards changing the things that are making me unhappy.
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,095 Member
    There's certain types of people that are probably better off not calorie counting, if they have issues. You might be one of those people.
  • enterdanger
    enterdanger Posts: 2,445 Member
    I feel very much like you do. Calorie counting and planning gets super tedious. There is a book out there by a nutritionist at Penn State called the Volumetrics diet. Instead of counting calories it just shows you how to swap out foods to feel fuller. In essence, it is calorie counting but without the counting. I might give it a go. Haven't decided yet. The whole point of it is to never feel hungry. I'm down with that. The only thing holding me back is that CICO is proven and proven for me (provided I follow it).

    I agree though that CICO does make me obsess over food.

    http://health.usnews.com/best-diet/volumetrics-diet
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,554 Member
    Everyone has to find their own way. You're right. But it sounds a lot like you're over thinking it.

    As far as thinking about a food- one of the reasons I DO meal prep- is because I can't be bothered to think about it- I work 4 jobs- I'm rarely home and I balance an out of town- off schedule relationship. I simply don't have time to think about food. One crock pot on Sunday + 8 tupper wear dishes = lunch for the week = no thinking.

    So- I'd suggest taking a breath and relax a little with it. There are ways to do this without it consuming your life. I don't personally don't mind counting- it's not a burden- it's a very natural thing to do for me- and if it wasn't- I wouldn't be doing it. I maintained and looked great without it- but it certainly has helped me get to a place where I'm much happier with how to work/manage my body. Secondly- the more specific you get with your goals- the more in tune you have to be with these things. So sure- you can manage your body fine without the things- but if you want to get on a stage and compete as a fitness competitor- odds are you're gonna invest in a food scale- be prepping food for weeks and be counting calories and macros. But that isn't' required if you just want to look good in your swim suit- keep the goals and the tools in perspective of each other.

    I guess what I'm trying to say is

    1.) don't over think it- and

    2.) think of all these things as tools- they are neither good nor bad and should never cause you stress. a hammer is neither good nor bad. It's good for the nail- and bad for the screw- figure out how to use the tools and they make your life more simple- not more complicated. Same with counting/macros/prepping etc etc.
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,570 Member
    Ok let me just share my recent thoughts here with you....I have had this on my mind for a while now and I just needed to get it out. I know not everyone will agree, or see it how I do, or think the way I think...but I just want to share and hey feedback and thoughts are always welcomed...ok...here goes.....

    I simply hate putting thought into my food. I hate counting calories, I hate watching macros, I hate checking labels all the time. I hate trying to plug things into my fitnesspal to compare the combination of food choices and how they pan out nutritionally. I hate always thinking about food, and how and when and what I'm going to eat. I hate making sure my portions are right, and I'm getting enough protein and not overloading on carbs. I hate everything I read about food and nutrition. All the hype of meal prepping and planning and carrying all your meals around with you every day. I hate having to plan out breakfast lunch and dinner everyday and hope I like or feel like eating whatever it is when the time comes to actually eat it. Eating the same things over and over again. I just hate it.

    Now don't get me wrong...I do enjoy a lot of these things sometimes. I do see the benefits and the reason behind a lot of these things as well. And by no means to I enjoy dumping a bunch of crap into my body. I like planning ahead because I'm such a busy gal that even if I planned on eating crap it still makes my life easier. I do love looking at nutrition labels and ingredients lists because I love avoiding as much unnatural gunk we shove in our products these day. I do enjoy how I feel when I eat better I really truly do. I just hate how trying really hard to be "good" makes me feel when I'm "bad"

    I hate that when I'm logging my calories and I eat something "bad" I log it and it makes me go over. Not so much at the going over part but what that means...its like saying you failed. Your not making progress. Which leads me to a lot of times not logging things at all. Which worse I realize that.

    Now I realize that those things are not true. None of that means I failed. But that does prevent me from feeling that way. I hate that in order to lose weight it feels like I have to totally alter my life, and put my entire focus into food. Food. Food. Food. I am so sick of it. I have my emotional problems with food...and that has led me to be overweight. However, this journey to try and lose weight has left me in a worse off place with food. I am at a point where I wish I just never got hungry.

    I don't want to think about food anymore. I am not, nor will I ever be someone who meals preps 6 meals a day for the entire week. That is not me. I have tried, and I end up wasting money and food and my time. I am a college kid, who works 50 hours a week. That is by no means an excuse for anything. That is me telling you that on top of all that I don't want to meal prep. I simply don't want to. And if by choosing not meal prep or do any of the tactics others may do that I'll be "fat" and "out of shape" for the rest of my life so be it.

    But I won't take that. You can not tell me that there is not a way to be in shape, and be healthy and lose weight without putting such a heavy focus on food and exercise. I feel like everywhere I turn is something new about nutrition, or exercise, or a new fitness fanatic on Facebook, a new challenge group. Since when? Why? What happened to living life in a healthy way?

    I guess my point is that I have had an unhealthy emotional issue with food for a very long time. I am working on it. But the way people "push" or suggest for lack of a better word, others to lose weight or get in shape has left me worse off then I was before. Not only do I have the emotional issues with food, now I end up with the guilt and the personal failure feelings that come along with it. The stress the annoyance the everything.

    I know this is something that I just have to find my niche, my way, my method. What works for me. I get that. I am working towards it every day. I love healthy foods, and I love being healthy. I also love sugary lattes, fried foods and mashed potatoes. I am finding a method that works for me. I guess I have just come to realize that what may work for other doesn't mean it works for me....and that's ok.

    Where do you feel pushed from?

    Your journey is, of course, your own. You have admitted to having emotional food related issues - perhaps it's worth talking to someone about?

    One of my biggest goals in this journey has been getting rid of labels and morality when it comes to food. Food is just food. If you want Starbucks, have it. Maybe just a smaller size. I love fried food, and mashed potatoes and tater tots. I still eat them - because that's how I've chosen to approach my journey.

    You don't have to do things a certain way to be healthy or successful.

    Try not to think quite so hard about it. :)
  • Jerseygrrl
    Jerseygrrl Posts: 189 Member
    "But I won't take that. You can not tell me that there is not a way to be in shape, and be healthy and lose weight without putting such a heavy focus on food and exercise."

    Then what would the focus be? Weight is simply calories in / calories out. Excess calories in means you gain weight. Excess calories out means you lose weight. Food and exercise are the means for controlling both of those.

    "Food. Food. Food. I am so sick of it. I have my emotional problems with food...and that has led me to be overweight. However, this journey to try and lose weight has left me in a worse off place with food. I am at a point where I wish I just never got hungry."

    There is truth in what you write about each of us finding our own way. But I have to say, the above statement points to more than just a desire to find your own way. It sounds like an unhealthy relationship with food. Have you ever pursued counseling for this? Perhaps the stress you feel has more to do with your feelings toward food and control than it does toward the process of losing weight?
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,577 Member
    I could have written a lot of the OP. I don't really have any emotional issues with food, other than loving it. :p But all the weighing/measuring and logging and worrying over macros and calories and exercise calories ... It's just too much to fit comfortably in my life.

    Luckily this isn't my first time losing weight, so I knew all that wasn't required for me. So, I track my exercise fairly regularly because that helps make me do it regularly. I look up food occasionally and every now and then I'll log for a few days. But mostly I just think about what I used to eat, and eat a little less than that.
  • samhennings
    samhennings Posts: 443 Member
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    IMO, it's not as hard a people make it out to be. And if you think this is hard.................wait till you get married and have kids.
    Not saying that what you're experiencing isn't annoying or difficult. You just have to find a system that's LESS stressful to you. Some do systematic eating. They eat the same meals basically everyday so they don't have to count and already know nutrient value. Then all they have to worry about is just whatever else they added in their intake that day.
    I ate this way pretty much for 10 years. Then I got married.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

    Agreed, its about finding what works for you.

    Personally I dont weigh anything (aside from breakfast cereal). And I never will. The whole idea of it depresses me and I know it would take my calorie counting out of the "its just something I do" box and put it into the "its a massive chore I HAVE to do" box.

    That said, I understand the pitfalls of inaccurate counting, and so dont stress about weight fluctuations. I log everything I eat, and if it looks like Im getting it wrong when I gain a pound or so I up my estimates on food logging to bring them more in line.

    This more relaxed approach has enabled me to stick to the program without feeling like Im a slave to it.