Need to unload

ELMunque
ELMunque Posts: 136 Member
edited November 16 in Chit-Chat
I've had the same best friend for 20 years, he's my husbands best friend too. He was my "man" of honor at our wedding. He has stood by me through so much. When my husband is deployed he helps me get the kids to and from all their activities, he helps with everything I can't do around the house. When my husband is home, he's over every weekend helping us with our massive remodel of the house and yards. When me and my husband need alone time he moves in to our house for a weekend and stays with my kids for us. He's that guy, that guy that will drop everything to help us out, at any time, day or night.

My best friend has a 16 year old son and a 9 year old daughter.

My best friend was recently diagnosed with a recurrence of esophageal cancer, spread to his stomach and to his back. They gave him 6 months to live. Chemo is kicking his *kitten*. We find out on Friday if the chemo is even working. He's lost 12 lbs in 7 days.

He's living with us now because he just doesn't have the energy to do much on his own. And honestly if something happened to him and nobody was there, I don't think I could handle that. I'm the type of person that if I'm not doing it all, I'm not doing enough. Well, I'm exhausted.

My husband went to the dermatologist on Monday. He goes back on Friday to get some moles removed and biopsied because they look questionable and could be melanoma.

My stress level is through the roof. The two most important people in my life (besides my kids) could both be sick. At the same time. My heart hurts so much.


My husband and I start counseling today, I'm not a big talker, I'm not a big crier. I'm amazing at game face and doing what needs to be done, and dealing with the pain when there is time to do so.

So I thought it would help me if I talked to some faceless peeps on the internet.

Replies

  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • ELMunque
    ELMunque Posts: 136 Member
    Thank you. Humor is also my thing, thankfully I live with some pretty funny people.
  • favoritenut
    favoritenut Posts: 217 Member
    Hugs, and hoping for positive's. as a caregiver you need to take time for yourself too, its hard believe me I know, but to be strong for them, you need to. and yes laughter is great!
  • kinkyslinky16
    kinkyslinky16 Posts: 1,469 Member
    I'm very sorry. Sounds like you have a lot of stress. I would suggest you take a break. Get a massage or whatever else makes you happy. One of my physicians told me that you are a pitcher of water. And you pour a little of yourself in to your kid's cup, your husband's, your best friend's cup, your job, your house, your other family members cups, etc.. and if you don't refill your pitcher, you will have nothing else to give. Sounds like you are at that point.... so take care of yourself so you can refill your pitcher.
  • ELMunque
    ELMunque Posts: 136 Member
    Very good advice Kinkyslinky16. My husband and I actually had a date day this weekend to do just that. However, we came home and ended up being up late to make up for lost time. My kids are very helpful but there are something that he won't let anyone but me do (showers, tend to his shingles, and change his bandages) because his skin hurts and I know where I can touch and where I can't.
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