How do I motivate an obese friend to get healthy?

Sinnntual_Seduction
Sinnntual_Seduction Posts: 8 Member
edited April 2015 in Motivation and Support
Only serious replies please and thank you!

Replies

  • ZebsterBC
    ZebsterBC Posts: 198 Member
    Sadly, that motivation has to come from within that person. All you can do is support them when they're ready to make a change.
  • livingleanlivingclean
    livingleanlivingclean Posts: 11,751 Member
    They have to want it themselves, you can't make someone do something they don't want to.
  • Sinnntual_Seduction
    Sinnntual_Seduction Posts: 8 Member
    ZebsterBC wrote: »
    Sadly, that motivation has to come from within that person. All you can do is support them when they're ready to make a change.

    Thank you
  • Sinnntual_Seduction
    Sinnntual_Seduction Posts: 8 Member
    ZebsterBC wrote: »
    Sadly, that motivation has to come from within that person. All you can do is support them when they're ready to make a change.

    Thank you
  • Sinnntual_Seduction
    Sinnntual_Seduction Posts: 8 Member
    livingleanlivingclean wrote: »
    They have to want it themselves, you can't make someone do something they don't want to.
    Thank you
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,207 Member
    Yup, you don't. If they aren't into it and doing it for themselves, you'll probably only annoy them or hurt them by trying.
  • aam117
    aam117 Posts: 284 Member
    i have to agree with Zebster...they need to want to get healthy themselves to be open to any sort of external motivation. i've seen friends/family with health issues who in spite of knowing they need make changes in diet/exercise and even going so far as to buy a treadmill or join a gym, never followed through. you can be encouraging and supportive once they decide they want to make a change, but it's hard to be a catalyst for them. maybe invite your friend to join you next time you go for a walk or to a yoga class or something else lightly active, but social. no guarantee they'll accept, but then again they might.
  • Sinnntual_Seduction
    Sinnntual_Seduction Posts: 8 Member
    Alatariel75 wrote: »
    Yup, you don't. If they aren't into it and doing it for themselves, you'll probably only annoy them or hurt them by trying.

    Thank you
  • LKArgh
    LKArgh Posts: 5,178 Member
    You do not. You can offer help if this friend is interested, but you cannot force or even just inspire someone to change.
  • Susieq_1994
    Susieq_1994 Posts: 5,361 Member
    What everyone else said. It's difficult to watch someone, especially someone you're close to, destroy their body or their health--But ultimately it's their body and their life, and you can't really do anything other than lead by example and hope for the best. I learned that with my family. :)
  • cathiggs
    cathiggs Posts: 21 Member
    Sadly I was that obese person and until i recognized that i had a problem then there is nothing anyone could help! The only thing I can suggest is you as a friend keep healthy and active and maybe invite them to go for walks with you but do be warned that if you do mention their weight to them they may be defensive towards you but be patient with them! :-)
  • lulufee317537
    lulufee317537 Posts: 50 Member
    I remember when I smoked everyone would tell me to quit and how bad it was for me, and while it was true that I had to come to the decision on my own, in no small part did all that peer pressure also influence me to quit. Indeed, I felt supported by all the non-smoking people of the world when I finally decided to stop. How is it any different with obesity? Everyone knows it's just as dangerous as smoking yet people tip toe around telling their friends and loved ones to get with the program, when actually if we did say stuff, it definitely would pressure them to change.
  • Sinnntual_Seduction
    Sinnntual_Seduction Posts: 8 Member
    aam117 wrote: »
    i have to agree with Zebster...they need to want to get healthy themselves to be open to any sort of external motivation. i've seen friends/family with health issues who in spite of knowing they need make changes in diet/exercise and even going so far as to buy a treadmill or join a gym, never followed through. you can be encouraging and supportive once they decide they want to make a change, but it's hard to be a catalyst for them. maybe invite your friend to join you next time you go for a walk or to a yoga class or something else lightly active, but social. no guarantee they'll accept, but then again they might.

    Depressing watching them limit themselves
    cathiggs wrote: »
    Sadly I was that obese person and until i recognized that i had a problem then there is nothing anyone could help! The only thing I can suggest is you as a friend keep healthy and active and maybe invite them to go for walks with you but do be warned that if you do mention their weight to them they may be defensive towards you but be patient with them! :-)
    cathiggs wrote: »
    Sadly I was that obese person and until i recognized that i had a problem then there is nothing anyone could help! The only thing I can suggest is you as a friend keep healthy and active and maybe invite them to go for walks with you but do be warned that if you do mention their weight to them they may be defensive towards you but be patient with them! :-)
    cathiggs wrote: »
    Sadly I was that obese person and until i recognized that i had a problem then there is nothing anyone could help! The only thing I can suggest is you as a friend keep healthy and active and maybe invite them to go for walks with you but do be warned that if you do mention their weight to them they may be defensive towards you but be

    That helps greatly!
  • SophiaSilfaery
    SophiaSilfaery Posts: 19 Member
    Yup agree with the general consensus - let your actions and life speak for themselves. However well intentioned you may be if you are interpreted as being as nagging or shaming you might end up having exactly the opposite effect. Besides, it's not as if people don't know what healthy and unhealthy are - I know I have a very good idea what good nutrition is I just up till now haven't applied it, it's up to me to change that, no one else.
  • thenewkayla
    thenewkayla Posts: 313 Member
    YOU cant..They Have To Want It on There Own..you can be a postive example but they have to want it for them selves
  • dufus12
    dufus12 Posts: 393 Member
    Even you have the best of intentions, it will be trying to teach a pig to whistle. Annoys the pig and wastes your time......It can also be like pulling a cat's tail backwards to make it go forward. People get defensive or downright obstinate.

    All you can do, is be ready with non judgemental support for the time when your friend does find their own motivation. Best of luck. It's a good pal who cares......

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