Loving your body

my_jennaration
my_jennaration Posts: 68 Member
edited November 16 in Motivation and Support
I want to first say that I am in NO WAY body shaming here. I have received my fair share of insecurities due to my size and people's negative comments... I am just a confused woman wondering if I am the only one out here thinking this. That being said....

There are a lot of magazines, ads, etc.. posting pictures of plus size models (most of whom I still don't feel are plus sized) , women "rocking and loving" their post-baby bodies, filled with articles of loving yourself no matter the size. And I have also noticed, what seems to me, to be an increase in hating on the skinny girl. I feel like some how things have reversed and instead of picking on the fat kids we're picking on the skinny kids to make up for the past.. I don't like it.

I agree we should love ourselves no matter what we look like, but if we love our self shouldn't that mean we want to take care of our self? By finding ways to loose that baby fat so we can take our kids to the park and play with out running out of breath? Shouldn't we want to learn to eat correctly so we can in turn teach our children?? Shouldn't we want to strengthen and tone those curves? I feel like we've become a society so worried about ACCEPTANCE that we're saying everything is okay, when the truth is, being overweight or underweight is NOT okay.. Plain and simple it's killing people and we shouldn't be glorifying it. Or am I wrong??

Replies

  • my_jennaration
    my_jennaration Posts: 68 Member
    bump
  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,893 Member
    I feel like people should accept and love themselves regardless of their size or shape and if they CHOOSE to want to strengthen and tone those curves that is their decision. Also, being over or underweight is very subjective and unless you are their personal MD and have seen their numbers and body fat % etc and how it affects them, you should probably reserve judgement.
  • jenncornelsen
    jenncornelsen Posts: 969 Member
    i like that body acceptance is being glorified. im tired of clothing ads only being on size 2 models. i will never be size 2..or 6 feet tall for that matter. as a mom and having my stomach full of stretch marks i applaud those moms willing to accept themselves as beautiful despite the less than flat belly. now i don't think people are trying to promote obesity. just that we are all different and we all deserve respect. i think it should be the same for thin girls. most women have body image issues despite they're size. lets try and lift eachother up wherever we are in our health journey
  • T_Ciku
    T_Ciku Posts: 133 Member
    I totally agree with you. There's a lot of sugar coating going on because no one wants to step on someone else's toes and get accused of discrimination or shaming. My opinion is that no, you shouldn't hate your body. But you shouldn't be complacent either. If you're not healthy then try to get healthy. Eat better and exercise. Don't focus on the weight loss. Focus on your blood pressure, your cholesterol, your heart, you get my drift. I think that significant weight loss (50 lbs kind of stuff) is just not going to happen for everyone. Some people are just genetically predisposed to be a certain weight and can't lose a significant amount of weight unless using some pretty unhealthy methods. A LOT of people are going to disagree with me on this but I think if weight loss and keeping it off was just as easy as calories in vs. calories out then the number of overweight people would seriously drop.

    Tl;dr don't try and get healthy because you hate your body. Do it because you love it and you want it to be at its best. But don't sit on your butt and use YOLO as an excuse to stuff your face. (I can't believe I just said YOLO. I'm going to crawl into a hole now.)
  • Kimberly_Harper
    Kimberly_Harper Posts: 409 Member
    Maybe the message should be "love your body and take good care of it". But there are a LOT of people out there who have average or even above-average physiques yet don't see it in the mirror - they look in the mirror and see a too-fat or too-skinny person and not the person that is actually there.
  • T_Ciku
    T_Ciku Posts: 133 Member
    edited April 2015
    And yes, I hate the reverse discrimination that's going on with skinny women. Very few people seem to get that it's just as bad as shaming overweight women.
  • Lizzy622
    Lizzy622 Posts: 3,705 Member
    Kimberly_Harper wrote: »
    Maybe the message should be "love your body and take good care of it".
    Yes this^^^ It is really hard to convince yourself that you are worth it unless you love your body. We each have only one body which must last us a lifetime. Each body is unique in shape, size, color and genetic predispositions. Each body deserves to be loved and lovingly cared for.
  • scb515
    scb515 Posts: 133 Member
    I think you should always strive to be the best possible version of yourself. If you're overweight, you should want to be lighter for your own benefit - your own health. If you have stretch marks - well, that's not going to change, so you should learn to accept those. That is the best possible version of yourself. There are some things we can fix through effort, there are others we just have to learn to live with, and that's okay.

    I think you can accept the way you look and be happy, and yet still want to make further improvements.

    I don't think self-loathing is a good motivational tool.
  • dragonmaster69
    dragonmaster69 Posts: 131 Member
    I think EVERY SINGLE PERSON SHOULD LOVE THEIR BODIES/PERSONALITY AND DESERVES SELF LOVE. I also think it's none of my business what someone else is doing with their body. I LOVE my body completely. Sure, sometimes I compare myself to other people or make myself more attractive for other people, but then I remember it's some baloney societal idea that my aesthetics need to please others. I have my lazy moments, I have my overactive moments, but part of my MFP life is making the overactive moments easier. Again, that is MY life.

    I have to remind myself that people are highly influenced by society and the thoughts/actions of others and it really means something to them. I spent too many years of my life feeling positive about my body, but having a lingering thought in the back of my brain that *i don't make my parents happy because I'm fat* *my friends are embarrassed by my being fat* *people don't even want to befriend me because I'm fat* and I finally came to a happy place BECAUSE of this so called "fat acceptance" movement.

    To recap: I don't care if someone is over weight. That is THEIR life/battle/choice/problem/whatever you want to call it. I love myself more than anything and I can only hope EVERYONE finds that love, too.

    Last bit: beyond the forums, beyond your computer screen, would really stop an over weight mother at the park and say "shouldn't you lose some weight?"
    I actually love the conversation. It's very interesting to see the thoughts and opinions all of us having considering most of came to MFP for a similar reason.
  • tashiros
    tashiros Posts: 36 Member
    Always here to support those trying their best to become healthy we all need it it is a hard long road
  • cj94404
    cj94404 Posts: 154 Member
    I try to be grateful that my body functions well enough. All my limbs work. I am fortunate. But man I can nitpick myself. If asked what I like I would have to admit....not much. Other than it all works.
  • nicola8989
    nicola8989 Posts: 381 Member
    it gets me when girls who are normal are marketed as plus-sized

    but what really frustrates me is this rise in either extremely large women or extremely skinny - where's the middle ground? Neither is "normal" or "healthy" as they are being presented. Why can't we be celebrating the normal people who are a healthy in between weight - why has it had to go to the other extreme and be celebrating obesity?
  • MissMaija
    MissMaija Posts: 4 Member
    I totally agree with you. People should love their bodies, and part of loving your body should be taking care of it. Being a little thicker, or a "plus size" isn't a problem, if someone loves their body that way, that's great. But I don't agree that teaching people to love their body is okay, when the subject matter is obesity. I'm talking reality here, not body image issues. Obesity leads to health problems and we are teaching people not to take care of themselves. It has nothing to do with what is or is not attractive. It's no secret that obesity is at an all time high, especially among children. We want to teach them to accept their body, yet this doesn't teach them to love their body or love themselves. We take care of what we love. Someone looking in the mirror and thinking that they are too "fat" or too "skinny" isn't the same as being clinically over/under weight, which leads to serious health problems. And I don't believe that people should be criticized for wanting to improve the health amongst today's society.

    Criticizing other people and implying that they are not attractive is wrong, whether that is too big or too small. But teaching people to take care of themselves is important, for many reasons other than physical attraction.

    Also, I agree that there has been a reverse in rolls, now skinny girls are being picked on for not having enough curves.

  • gramarye
    gramarye Posts: 586 Member
    T_Ciku wrote: »
    And yes, I hate the reverse discrimination that's going on with skinny women. Very few people seem to get that it's just as bad as shaming overweight women.


    It's bad -- skinny shaming women is problematic and dick move -- I wish we didn't do it. However, it's not bad in the same way. A woman who is shamed for feeling "too skinny" will feel bad personally, but continue to exist in a world where she has is overall glorified and privileged due to the shape of her body. An overweight woman, in addition to being shamed, is less likely to get adequate health care due to her size and is less likely to be hired for jobs. TL;DR: skinny women still have the power, and you can't harm a person in power in the same way that you harm someone on the bottom.

    As to the overall thread: no one owes anyone anything in regards to their health or physical fitness level. I think it's great to celebrate size diversity and to show that physical health and physical size are not simply correlated.
  • my_jennaration
    my_jennaration Posts: 68 Member
    Sorry I haven't been on the computer for a few days, but LOVE the conversation.. You all make great points! I really just am starting to feel we have gone over board on this whole curvy campaign thing that we are losing sight of what is important: Being healthy. I know there are bigger men and women out there who are healthy and beautiful, just like there are skinny people who are healthy too.

    To the user above me who says skinny shaming doesn't strip us of our power I have to disagree. I have been judged harshly by my weight and even accused of using drugs. When people assume things about you in regards to your health and lifestyle, may it be "skinny" or "fat" it most definitely strips you of your power. Being told you look like death, is not a glorification, no is it a privilege. I don't believe the skinny girl has the power.
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