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i need help, i feel like such a failure.

tehyaviolet
tehyaviolet Posts: 3 Member
edited November 2024 in Motivation and Support
Hi, my name is Tehya. I'm 18 and I've been struggling to lose weight my entire life. I've gone through the cycle of losing and gaining weight ever since i can remember. My body is very stubborn. Every time Itry to get on track iI end up getting discouraged and I give up. I live in a family that eats healthy foods almost all of the time and also works out regularly. My habits are pretty healthy. Yet I'm not getting anywhere and its extremely frustrating. Last year I decided to get a personal trainer and she helped a lot but I'm not any closer to my goals, in fact, I'm further away. I'm bigger than I've ever been before, my metabolism is shot and I can't seem to get it back up, and I'm drowning in my own thoughts of how I should never have stopped working out like I did in the past. My heart is broken and I'm completely discouraged at this point. I really need some friends who will motivate and support me. I really can't do it on my own anymore... I just want to be the girl I've always dreamt to be. I just want to look in the mirror without wanting to cry. Please help me stay motivated through this, I really really need it. Thank you for reading, and sorry for the bad grammar and misspelled words I'm on my very slow and annoying phone!

Replies

  • Generic_Excuse
    Generic_Excuse Posts: 607 Member
    Adding you as a friend!
  • byroman
    byroman Posts: 75 Member
    edited April 2015
    Tehya, you'll find nothing but support here on MFP. Just relax and know you are not alone. You're here, so you have already won. Now, just try to stay focused on managing your calorie budget every day. Sure you will have a bad day here and there, but that's OK. Just get back on the next day.

    For additional motivation, try to take a daily trip to the forums and blogs here to see that we are all in this with you. You'll find a lot of motivational success stories on here.

    Remember, a year from now you'll be glad you started today.
  • Generic_Excuse
    Generic_Excuse Posts: 607 Member
    ^^Yes. All of that.
  • pineapple_peach10
    pineapple_peach10 Posts: 239 Member
    Please don't feel bad. Weight loss is a long, tough journey that lasts a lifetime (for some of us).

    I started worrying about my weight when I was about 11, which is very sad. It is something I have struggled with up and down for a long, long time.

    Before you lose weight, you need to love yourself at the weight you're at now. Losing weight doesn't magically fix all of the problems in your life. This is my only truly successful journey because I loved myself before and during.
  • tehyaviolet
    tehyaviolet Posts: 3 Member
    Thank you all, its very nice to see people care.
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
    If you're 18, why does it say 21 on your profile?

    What exactly have you been doing to lose weight? Are you counting calories? Do you weigh your food? What sort of exercises are you doing?

    Can you share your stats? Weight, height, goal weight? It would also help if you opened your diary.
  • niman4437
    niman4437 Posts: 1 Member
    I agree that losing weight is a very very hard and tedious process but small steps will eventually be worth it. First, you must love yourself and understand that it takes time to see changes.

    Maybe try something new like going hiking or playing sports rather then just doing the same exercise you do everyday.

    Just try to be happy and positive as well as have courage and discipline. You will get there! We all have those bad days just learn from it and strive to be the better you from yesterday.
  • as9823
    as9823 Posts: 24 Member
    Don't give up. It's not easy! But your mindset is so important. If you stay positive and feel like your in complete control of your actions that's Half the battle.
  • azulvioleta6
    azulvioleta6 Posts: 4,195 Member
    edited April 2015
    TheVirgoddess wrote: »

    What exactly have you been doing to lose weight? Are you counting calories? Do you weigh your food? What sort of exercises are you doing?

    Can you share your stats? Weight, height, goal weight? It would also help if you opened your diary.

    Hello fellow Violet!

    I have the same questions. Please give us some more details and we will try to help.
  • Ms_LisaKay
    Ms_LisaKay Posts: 103 Member
    I have found that focusing a lot of time & energy into the nutrition side makes much more difference to my weight than time at the gym. This is not to say exercise isn't important, but Cals in vs Cals out (CICO) methodology made me realize that eating (and weighing & logging intake) is a better way to get weight under control than exercise. I see people on here who have logged their food for 5 or more years. They are the ones making it happen. I love my personal trainer, but he is useless when it comes to helping with the Cals In side of the equation.

    You can do this weight control thing. I know it is not fun to be logging food all the time and not being able to enjoy eating randomly, but it works. One of my friends has been chronicaling her weight loss journey on Facebook, and I take a lot of inspiration from her. One of her big things is, "Weight loss is hard. So is being fat. Choose your hard." I like that a lot. To me, being fat is a passisve thing that I choose to allow to happen. Weight loss is an active thing that I -make- happen. Both are emotional life happenings, but I feel better when I know that I tried that day. I hope you can find that satisfaction too.
  • fr3smyl
    fr3smyl Posts: 1,418 Member
    @Ms_LisaKay I like your friend's quote as well!
  • omelet2000
    omelet2000 Posts: 110 Member
    pineapple_peach10 wrote: »
    Before you lose weight, you need to love yourself at the weight you're at now. Losing weight doesn't magically fix all of the problems in your life. This is my only truly successful journey because I loved myself before and during.

    The best advice I have found ever! Loving yourself and your body leads to weight loss NOT the other way around.

    You cannot fail if you don't give up!
  • johnm1991
    johnm1991 Posts: 372 Member
    Everyone on here has a story. Wheather it is Good or bad, happy or sad & triumphs and failures. Everyone on here is REAL. Everyone on here is an inspiration and motivation. Everything you say is real and true. WE KNOW. I know, We've all been there. I feel that way too sometimes...ok, All the time!
    But everything everyone posted above is true. We help motivate, educate & inspire each other. We'll help you too! It's a tuff and long journey but remember, you're still young.
    That's all I ever heard, when I was a kid..."DO IT WHILE YOUR STILL YOUNG." I tried many times. Tried many things. Including a casting call for The BIGGEST LOOSER & I EVEN HAD SURGERY & I'm STILL struggling.
    It's a lifestyle change. Don't quit, never give up. You can do this!!!
    The best advice I ever got was, "YOU make the changes in your life...or LIFE will make changes for you."
    You're here now! That's a good thing! You got this.

    John

    Adding you as a friend.
  • tehyaviolet
    tehyaviolet Posts: 3 Member
    Well I made one of these a while back to count calories mainly because I started working out with my mom and she found this to be a useful tool in keeping track of how many calories are coming in and out and how many calories you burn for a certain workout. I've tried a ton of different things they all never worked, the only think that did work was something I later found out to be unhealthy and hurting my metabolism. My main problem is staying consistent. I already eat pretty healthy, I work out and I'm in tai kwon do with my family, and I change up my activity quite a bit. I'll go biking one day, walking the next, weightlifting, insanity, t25, I guess the factthat iI've tried a lot of different things that haven't worked out well for me is just the reason why I get so discouraged and give up. My goal now is to make it a week every week, try to drink more water and eat smaller portions more often in hopes to get my metabolism working more efficiently. I found that having small goals for myself is something that helps a lot. I am hopeful that I will not give up, and seeing that I have so much support on here I think will help me a ton.
    I'm not sure how to open my diary either, but I'll look into it. I'm just getting back on to this app to try and get into the habit of counting calories again so its not very accurate right now. (One of the things my trainer told me was to not count calories and not weigh myself) which helped me mentally but not physically so here I am. I'm mainly using it to balance my nutritionso i can learn what foods to eat more of. Thank you all again
  • azulvioleta6
    azulvioleta6 Posts: 4,195 Member
    It sounds like you've got lots of things to think about. That can be overwhelming.

    Maybe a good initial goal would just be to establish the habit of tracking and the habit of moving every day. Do that for 2-3 weeks and then set another small goal, and so on.

    Good luck to you!
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