Talking to your kid about sex
So my 10 year old DD has "kind of" an idea about sex. Didn't go into a great detail about it, but she's got some of the basic context with body parts and the "EWWWW" factor. Next year she starts middle school so we'd like to make sure she doesn't learn it the wrong way from friends (like I did). My DW and I have an idea about the approach we want to do, but I'm always up for hearing how others may have handled it with their kids.
So let's hear 'em!!! Maybe it might be something that I can also institute with our approach.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
So let's hear 'em!!! Maybe it might be something that I can also institute with our approach.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Replies
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Just tell her that boys stick their penis into a girls vagina and then the penis squirts some stuff out and you could possibly get pregnant. Make sure to include awful videos of babies screaming. When I explained breastfeeding to my oldest son, we watched videos of puppies, kittens, etc. suckling. I'm sure there's an educational video on youtube.
You can also reference this for what happens to boys:
https://youtu.be/M3bo40o1B8Q
(Just kidding on the video)
My son is only 5 but I don't plan on sugar coating it. My mom was very honest about it with me.0 -
Yeah, I don't think I'll be that blunt about it, but I'm not going to be evasive either. I think lots of times it's just a good start to ask them what they know and what they want to know.kinkyslinky16 wrote: »Just tell her that boys stick their penis into a girls vagina and then the penis squirts some stuff out and you could possibly get pregnant. Make sure to include awful videos of babies screaming. When I explained breastfeeding to my oldest son, we watched videos of puppies, kittens, etc. suckling. I'm sure there's an educational video on youtube.
You can also reference this for what happens to boys:https://youtu.be/M3bo40o1B8Q
(Just kidding on the video)
My son is only 5 but I don't plan on sugar coating it. My mom was very honest about it with me.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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I'm scarred for life. My dad read me a pop up book.0
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My son watched our hedgehogs mating. Pretty self explanatory. Plus the rooster is always "courting" his hens. It's nothing to be ashamed of so just make sure you answer her questions as honestly as possible. Best wishes!0
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Why not be blunt? Will it embarrass her or you? Can she not handle it or do you feel its too much information? Just curious. I'm open about things like this, which is supposedly not normal according to my husband.
But it's a totally natural process.. so nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about when discussing it.0 -
I think internet provide all the information they require. Therefore, there is no need for parents talking to them.0
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I don't think she'd handle it well by telling her the way you suggested. She knows where babies come from, and knows that it involves a man and a woman (in most cases), she just doesn't really know how it happens. We've gone over body parts, but I think she may have been embarrassed when we were talking about it the last time. So a more subtle approach may be needed. Again, we intend to be nothing but honest with her about it.kinkyslinky16 wrote: »Why not be blunt? Will it embarrass her or you? Can she not handle it or do you feel its too much information? Just curious. I'm open about things like this, which is supposedly not normal according to my husband.
But it's a totally natural process.. so nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about when discussing it.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
0 -
Lol, I don't trust much on the internet, so I wouldn't expect my DD to either.I think internet provide all the information they require. Therefore, there is no need for parents talking to them.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
0 -
I don't think she'd handle it well by telling her the way you suggested. She knows where babies come from, and knows that it involves a man and a woman (in most cases), she just doesn't really know how it happens. We've gone over body parts, but I think she may have been embarrassed when we were talking about it the last time. So a more subtle approach may be needed. Again, we intend to be nothing but honest with her about it.kinkyslinky16 wrote: »Why not be blunt? Will it embarrass her or you? Can she not handle it or do you feel its too much information? Just curious. I'm open about things like this, which is supposedly not normal according to my husband.
But it's a totally natural process.. so nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about when discussing it.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Well good luck!0 -
I really liked this book: http://smile.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0763668729/ref=pd_aw_fbt__b_img_3?refRID=18M98KE5JEJ36XPJA4X1#
There are two others in the series, aimed at younger kids, in case that one looks like too much.0 -
Thanks!kinkyslinky16 wrote: »
I don't think she'd handle it well by telling her the way you suggested. She knows where babies come from, and knows that it involves a man and a woman (in most cases), she just doesn't really know how it happens. We've gone over body parts, but I think she may have been embarrassed when we were talking about it the last time. So a more subtle approach may be needed. Again, we intend to be nothing but honest with her about it.kinkyslinky16 wrote: »Why not be blunt? Will it embarrass her or you? Can she not handle it or do you feel its too much information? Just curious. I'm open about things like this, which is supposedly not normal according to my husband.
But it's a totally natural process.. so nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about when discussing it.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Well good luck!
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
0 -
I became incredibly fascinated with sex at 10/11 years old. I even checked out 'The Joy of Sex' from my county library! When my mom found out she set me down at the dinner table with some hot chocolate and told me she found the book and asked me what information I had obtained. I told her my interpretation was that any body part can be used for the sexual gratification of yourself or others, so it is not right for anyone to touch me anywhere without my permission.
Then she asked me what I knew about babies and fetal development. I became more fascinated with THAT aspect than the actual sex part. We went to the library together and I devoured books on fetal development, sex and STIs. I read a LOT and my mother guided me to make sure than the information I got was not severely biased and made sure that I did not feel ashamed or awkward.
Because she was able to sit down with my sister and myself like that, where we weren't ashamed and came to her with any problems, we managed to get through high school and college without reproducing unexpectedly.
That's how I learned. Best of luck to you and your family!0 -
My mom and dad are devout Catholics and sex was a little tough to talk about to us. I remember it was brief and a no no. I ended up learning more from my friends (who weren't the best educators).lilaclovebird wrote: »I became incredibly fascinated with sex at 10/11 years old. I even checked out 'The Joy of Sex' from my county library! When my mom found out she set me down at the dinner table with some hot chocolate and told me she found the book and asked me what information I had obtained. I told her my interpretation was that any body part can be used for the sexual gratification of yourself or others, so it is not right for anyone to touch me anywhere without my permission.
Then she asked me what I knew about babies and fetal development. I became more fascinated with THAT aspect than the actual sex part. We went to the library together and I devoured books on fetal development, sex and STIs. I read a LOT and my mother guided me to make sure than the information I got was not severely biased and made sure that I did not feel ashamed or awkward.
Because she was able to sit down with my sister and myself like that, where we weren't ashamed and came to her with any problems, we managed to get through high school and college without reproducing unexpectedly.
That's how I learned. Best of luck to you and your family!
I don't want my DD to learn it wrong, nor do I want her to think she isn't mature enough yet to talk about it, so that's why we've planned to converse about it once the school year ends. No need for her to go up to any of the kids she plays with and say "guess what I learned!!!" so close to the end of the school year. I just want her to focus on upping her grades till then.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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@ninerbuff Sounds to me like you've got a pretty good plan. I would think that as a parent the scariest part is having to realize that your child is getting older and handling more grown up things.
At 26 years old the idea of being a parent still seems terrifying to me. I helped raise 5 out of 8 of my nieces and nephews and a couple of my cousins for the first few years of their lives and watching them grow up is scary. Wanting to protect them from everything and teach them everything at the same time. I'm not sure I could do it.0 -
idk midget porn???
ok seriously though idk, get one of those books. i agree though, it's better to do it sooner than later, especially in these days where 12 year olds are getting pregnant.0 -
You always hear parents say "I can't believe have fast you're growing up" and I when I was younger I thought it was such a corny line. But it's so true. I'm so glad I've got this opportunity to grow up with my daughter (stay at home day, but I work part time as a trainer) and bond with her hopefully showing her that whatever man in comes her life, should treat her the way I treat her.lilaclovebird wrote: »@ninerbuff Sounds to me like you've got a pretty good plan. I would think that as a parent the scariest part is having to realize that your child is getting older and handling more grown up things.
At 26 years old the idea of being a parent still seems terrifying to me. I helped raise 5 out of 8 of my nieces and nephews and a couple of my cousins for the first few years of their lives and watching them grow up is scary. Wanting to protect them from everything and teach them everything at the same time. I'm not sure I could do it.
Of course the first fear any parent has is whether or not their child is hiding sex from them secretly. I'm hoping that never becomes the case.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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I was always just honest and factual with my son. If he asked a question, I explained as best I could in terminology he could understand. Keeping things factual helps, I found. When they start asking, is the the best age, in my experience.0
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The idea of asking what she already knows and maybe want to know is good. Just let her know that there is no wrong or too embarrassing questions. There is also absolutely nothing wrong with using the actual words for all the body parts. I mean, you wouldn't call a finger 'the pointer' right? The more casual you use those words the less awkward will it be in the future.0
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Maybe some of this will help you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQ2_dnT5iBo 0 -
MrsBooBear wrote: »I was always just honest and factual with my son. If he asked a question, I explained as best I could in terminology he could understand. Keeping things factual helps, I found. When they start asking, is the the best age, in my experience.
^^This. My daughter is almost 13. I have already had the "talk" with her, but I've also made sure to let her know I'm open to discuss it again or answer any questions she has at any time. I would rather she talk to me than her friends, so I feel letting her know she could come to me with any questions at any time is important. Also, I believe it's really important to discuss the emotional side of sex. As we know, sex is rarely just sex. A lot of emotions come into play, so it's important to discuss that with them as well. Sometimes I think to many parents skip this and move onto technicalities.
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